To Tell the Truth

Most people have lied at least once in their lives.  I know I’ve lied to avoid hurting someone’s feelings: “Yes, I like your new haircut.” I’ve lied to avoid embarrassment: “I wonder where that awful smell is coming from?” I’ve lied to avoid getting into trouble: “I don’t know who broke the vase.” I’ve even lied to prove a point: “I got that fact from the encyclopedia.” But like most of you, I’ve put away the childish act of lying and found ways to effectively  to avoid telling uncomfortable truths.  These days, any misrepresentations of the truth are actually honest lapses in my memory.  I’d like to think that if I were to tell a lie today, it would be to protect someone’s life, like the courageous Corrie Ten Boom who hid Jews from the Nazis as depicted in the movie, “The Hiding Place”.  But these days, adults who should be role models are lying like crazy and without consequence.  These folks are using made up terms for their lying like “alternative facts” or “misspoken words” or “my opinion”.  When did espousing false facts or lying become acceptable?  In the country I hope to leave to the next generation, it is not acceptable! Until now, I’ve only met one grownup who made a habit of lying. I worked with this woman for several years and she seemed to lie about everything.  I’d caught her in so many lies that I soon ceased to believe anything she said without verification.  But we were friendly and so I just accepted her tales for the lies that they were.  Not wanting to embarrass her, I never challenged her tall tales.  Most of her lies were inconsequential. Some were even entertaining.  They usually took the form of stupid exaggerations and little white lies all designed to make herself seem better than she actually was. I concluded that low self-esteem drove her to lie.  She seemed to need to lie to feel good about herself and to get the things she wanted.  But once, over lunch she made an accusation about having been repeatedly molested by a male colleague. That was a serious accusation with dire consequences for that colleague had she taken it  to human resources.  She never did.  But because of her many lies, I chose to believe that the accusation was more of the same, this time to bolster her claim that she was greatly desirable to men.  But what if it was true?  I admit that after her story, I was briefly suspicious of that male colleague when we were alone together. But I soon determined that the accusation was indeed an egregious  falsehood.  And therein lies the danger with falsehoods.  They can raise false suspicions, build unfounded fears, and motivate wrongheaded actions. 

I grew up hearing the Aesop fable of the boy who cried wolf.  In the tale, a boy sheep herder repeatedly fools the villagers into believing that wolves are attacking his sheep. But then one day, a wolf really does attack and is able to kill all his sheep because no one believes him when he legitimately cries wolf.  I’ve told this story to my own children, one in particular needed to hear it repeatedly.  The moral of the story, of course, is that lying has a corrosive effect.  It undermines credibility.  I thought this lesson was one that most adults, especially baby boomers, understood.  So how did this lesson get lost? 

I keep asking myself how is it that so many baby boomers admire Donald Trump for being a truth teller when the statistics show that he lies 65% of the time?  People voted for him, saying they like him because he’s “telling it like it is” when he clearly is doing the opposite.  I have now met two adults who lie so casually and so often that I can’t believe any of their claims on face value.  And somehow, one of them has become president of the United States!  As I said before, I suspected my colleague lied to bolster her poor self-image.  And for the record, her dishonesty eventually led to her being fired. 

But why does Trump lie so much?  What does he gain by claims that he saw thousands of Muslims dancing in the streets on 9/11 when there is no evidence of this?  What does he gain by telling the American people that crime is at an all time high in 47 years, when it is at an all time low in 57 years?  What does he gain with claims that there were record numbers of people at his inauguration when empty spaces and empty stands are in clear view?  What does he gain by promising to provide his tax returns and then reneges?  What does he gain by saying his electoral college win of 304 votes was the largest since Ronald Regan when it wasn’t?  Both Bush and Obama had more.  This is just scratching the surface of his many lies.

Lies, alternative facts, misspoken words and falsehoods.  And for what?  Ego?  Or is he just delusional?  Or is there a more nefarious conspiracy  to confuse us with a barrage of lies while at the same time disparaging the media for fake news?  Is the point that you can’t believe anyone these days? I know I’ve taken to needing to read or hear stories from multiple sources like the New York Times and the Washington Post and CNN before I accept any claim to be true.   It’s evident that you can’t believe everything you hear or read from the media, especially on Facebook, or from Trump himself.  Especially, not from Trump.  And what a shame that is!

We can use this as a teachable moment.  It’s time to pull out the Aesop Fables again and read to our children in the face of the fake news and this administration, The Boy Who Cried Wolf.