Fully Present Post 50

There is a very nice woman in my crochet and knitting circle who immigrated from the Philippines as a young girl. The other day over lunch at the senior center, she mentioned how she was in favor of the current deportations because people need to come here the “right way” like she and her family did. Anyone who knows me, knows that that kind of comment triggers a not-so-patient response from me. And it did.

Without raising my voice, I responded that the immigration system we have today is broken and that the path to coming here the “right way” is inadequate to meet our economic needs because it is outdated, grossly under-staffed and underfunded and largely inaccessible to many who are eligible to immigrate here. I told her that 90% of the people ICE is detaining by force and without due process have no criminal record but are hard-working people who pay taxes and support local economies. They even pay into the social security system we all rely on. My final words had to do with the fact that there was a time when the U.S. welcomed Europeans to the U.S. simply because they boarded a boat and landed on Ellis Island. With those comments, I left the center because I could feel my ire rising and I didn’t want to burst into flames.

It is no surprise that this Administration is losing in the polls on immigration policy. Every day we see videos of ICE agents targeting brown people on our streets using violence and denying them their due process. These agents ignore the Constitution and are fueled by unbridled power and monetary incentives to go after helpless people. Decent people couple that brutality with the dire conditions we hear about in the for-profit detention camps where girls and women are being raped, food is nearly inedible, detainees are mocked, and sick people can’t access medical care. The fact that ICE is detaining people who are here legally, separating families, and deporting people who had been contributors to our society is abhorrent to anyone with a shred of decency and human empathy.

Those who proclaim to be Christians should know that there are at least 30 Bible verses in both the Old and New Testament that clearly tell us that God expects us to welcome the foreigner or stranger and to treat them well. For example, “You shall treat the stranger who sojourns with you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself.” (Leviticus 19:34). Or how about this one, “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me.” (Matthew 25:35) There is no room in the Christian values that so many MAGA supporters claim to hold for the way the Trump Administration is treating immigrants.

And it is only getting worse. Stephen Miller announced that he is going after the 24,000 unaccompanied minors still in the country. With the Supreme Court’s approval, Trump has rescinded the Temporary Protected Status of nearly 350,000 Haitians who have been working hard and contributing to the local, state, and federal economy by paying taxes and buying necessities. Losing their protected status means they lose their jobs and their legal immigration status. These are people have established homes, careers, families, and friendships here in the U.S. and that is being ripped away from them simply because they are black. These are the same people he falsely accused of eating the cats and dogs during his presidential debate. I recall when Trump publicly said that he wants white immigrants, not immigrants from “shit hole” countries. However, his racists statements were not enough to convince the Supreme Court that this Haitian removal policy was not based on race as the plaintiffs argued before the Court.

It’s not as though white people from European countries are clamoring to come here. In fact, the opposite is true. Not only do most of them hate Trump, but their standard of living includes healthcare, paid family leave, and basic human freedoms. But people in many other countries have good reason to flee their home countries but can no longer come here. This Administration has set the cap for refugees to only 7500, down from 125,000 the previous year. Is anyone surprised that essentially the only refugees being admitted are white South Africans whom Trump claims are escaping a fabricated and completely unfounded “white genocide” in South Africa. According to Refugee Council USA, all but three of the refugees admitted to the U.S. this year were white South Africans. The other three were from East Asia. I think the Statue of Liberty should be taken down and put into storage until we regain our sanity and humanity as a nation.

What is clear to anyone with economic sense is that this nation has always needed the labor, tax revenues, and the spending of immigrants. Farmers can’t find enough labor with over 1.2 million positions left vacant (Microsoft Co-pilot). As a result, food prices are up because farmers suffer crop losses and are planting less. Healthcare is also experiencing a shortage of labor because of our aging population and immigrants often fill those jobs. Ironically, the largest percentage of Haitian workers are employed in healthcare, including hospitals, nursing homes, and home healthcare. Average people, like me, are experiencing long waits to see health professionals these days while the wealthy turn to concierge medicine. It took me three weeks to get my first physical therapy appointment. And the construction industry is also facing a shortfall of about 500,000 workers (Microsoft co-pilot). This creates project delays for basic infrastructure projects and housing. Trump’s immigration policies along with his ill-conceived tariffs and stupid war in Iran are literally destroying our economy. By deporting working immigrants, we have cut the tax base that supports social security, Medicare, and Medicaid. It’s no surprise that the deficit is quickly growing despite all the DOGE cuts and historic cuts to food assistance programs.

Like other nations with low birth rates, we rely on immigrants to keep the economy growing, fill essential jobs, and to support our aging population. The few South Africans Trump is bringing in will not make up for the millions of people we are deporting and banning from entry. Additionally, the brain-drain of scientists and aspiring scientists to other countries is real. And the loss of international students who subsidize the cost of educating our domestic students, has dropped dramatically. Many of our professionals across industries began as international students and opted to build a life here in the states. Others arrived through the H1B visa process for professionals. Unfortunately, those doors under Trump are rapidly closing and we will lose both the intellectual and economic advantage they gave us.

Trump’s immigration policies are driven by racism, xenophobia, and the myth of white supremacy. We can clearly see through his Cabinet appointments that whiteness does not equal competence. Our country is suffering from the lack of expertise and experience among government officials along with an anti-intellectualism and corruption mindset being elevated to the highest ranks of government. We can see in real time how Trump’s policies are destroying our economy and hurting actual people.

Our best hope to repair the damage is to elect a new Congress this November and a new president in 2028 who will actually fix our broken immigration system through adequate funding and staffing and updated immigration laws that value hard work, merit, and protection of the displaced persons without regard to their race. Our diversity and welcoming immigration policies have been the special sauce that built this nation. Immigrants bring a wealth of knowledge, innovation, energy, and culture that make this country thrive and it is time to enact reasonable immigration laws that protect our borders while also honoring multicultural values that enrich us all.

I first realized that there were men in this world who genuinely hate women when I heard about the Taliban in Afghanistan. The Taliban use a distorted view of Islam alongside violence to demean and disrespect females as they relegate them to the role of dispensable vessels for reproduction, sex, and housework. They understand that educating females only makes them less manageable. Their thinking is no different than how white American men viewed women and slaves at the founding of this nation. For example, beyond the threats of violence, it was illegal to teach black slaves to read in the United States and women had very little education and few civil rights.

Misogynist men and slave owners are fully aware (despite their claims to the contrary) that women and black people are in fact intelligent and freedom-loving human beings. They know that both can only be controlled through threats of violence, a systemic lack of opportunity, and manipulated emotional dependence. I’m extremely grateful that enough humans had the will, passion and courage to fight the legalized systems of oppression against blacks and women before I became of age. It is because of them that I enjoyed the full extent of civil rights and was able to pursue my education and career choice as well as pursue my financial ambitions. But I fear both racism and misogyny are making a comeback as men (mostly white men) fear losing all control and a hatred of women and black people resurface. I believe their hate is driven by insecurity and envy over the rising success of black people and the independence of women. Some very vocal influencers are going viral with their disdain for women while selling their strategy for returning females to a submissive state.

I raised my son to be a confident man who respects women. I married his father because he honored my intelligence and treated me as an equal. I later learned that his father, although kind and respectful of my ambitions, didn’t believe in monogamy and that truth ultimately ended our marriage. Thankfully, we continued to co-parent without animosity, and I remarried another man who fully shared my feminist values and views on monogamy. Seeing my partnership relationships shaped my son’s views on marriage where both are educated, productive, and ambition. But that doesn’t mean he didn’t have questions.

My son grew up to be an ambitious young man who earned his degree while playing division one college football. While he was in college, he and I debated the merits of Title IX as he watched his school struggle to support female sports at the expense of male sports. That experience deeply affected him, and I was glad to be the female voice defending opportunities for female athletes while supporting his sense of loss and his visceral feeling of unfairness.

Many young men do not have someone to debate with, let alone anyone with whom to express their frustrations. They experienced girls excelling in classrooms and on the job without anyone really addressing their feelings. And then came the “Me Too Movement” where the sexual exploitation of women over many years was finally being prosecuted. Men were viewed as villains who hurt women with impunity and enjoyed years of unearned privilege and promotion at the expense of women. A common meme is to say that a woman would rather encounter a wild bear than a man in the wilderness. No one talks about the emotional effect all of this “male bashing” is having on young men. Many are left confused as to how to approach females without coming off as dangerous or unworthy.

Our society has left them vulnerable to a toxic masculinity backlash emanating from political conservatives, criminals, and church leaders. Their backlash against feminism grabbed scriptures from the Bible and ran with them. They embraced an alpha male (caveman type) persona instead of respect and empathy. Thankfully, my son never fell into the misogyny trap because he was raised by a socially aware mother and two older sisters who were all highly educated and who loved and respected him. He learned early on that women are capable of making their own decisions. And he got to observe his father’s and step-father’s admiration of smart ambitious women.

My son met his wife in the Peace Corps. He financially and emotionally supported her through medical school and residency. They now have three handsome and intelligent sons that they are raising to be respectful and confident men. My son and I still have occasional debates as he finds himself performing what he considers more than his fair share of the cooking and childcare because of his wife’s heavy work demands as a NICU doctor at a prestigious teaching hospital. He sometimes struggles with his wife’s choices, but not with her right to make those choices for herself. While I’m not worried about my own son, I am worried about the society my grandsons are being raised in.

It is true that mature women with civil rights have choices. They no longer have to settle for men who disrespect and demean them. Educated women do not need to be taken care of. They want partners, not overlords. It is also true that both men and women are sexual beings ruled by hormones beginning in the teen years before the prefrontal cortex is fully developed and decisions are made based on impulse without full regard for consequences. This is why teen pregnancy was such a huge problem before contraception and Roe v Wade and girls ended up as child brides, unwed mothers on welfare, or risked their lives not to be.

Feminists (both male and female) are thankful that birth control and access to abortion have made it possible for young women to escape the trap of having to marry young or depend on the state or risk their lives because or of an unplanned pregnancy. On the other hand, conservatives point at the reduced birth rates and think a greater level of misogyny and limiting female opportunities is the answer. Who would have imaged conservatives lamenting the drop in teen pregnancies?

To my chagrin, we are watching the rollback of female rights in real time. Conservatives successfully ended Roe v. Wade and Attorney General Todd Blanche admitted that he is working to make the abortion ban national. As I’ve stated many times, I do not believe the Bible supports the idea that human life begins at conception. If it did, then God is the biggest “abortionist” there is. The Bible does support breath or capable of breath as the beginning of human life. Beyond limiting reproductive rights, this Congress is actively trying to limit women’s access to the ballot box. Some white “Christian” men in prominent positions are calling to repeal a women’s right to vote altogether. And that whole reclassification of professions and limiting access to student loans is a direct attack on women who are pursuing degrees at greater rates than their male peers. And let’s not forget the attack on DEI and the firing of women or withholding their promotions in the military.

It’s no wonder that many women are finding it increasingly difficult to find men they want to marry and have children with. The level of toxic masculinity or open misogyny found on in the Trump administration, in Congress, in churches, and on social media is disturbing. Outspoken misogynists, like the Tate brothers, garnered favor among conservatives, including the Trump administration, as they promoted masculinity and male domination while demeaning and disrespecting women as unintelligent tools who only exist to serve men. It is not surprising that in the wake of the Epstein files that the Trump administration is now allowing them to be extradited to the United Kingdom to face charges of rape and human trafficking. Trump saved them from Romanian justice for their crimes against women and teenagers, but the blatant similarities to Epstein prevent him from doing it again.

We are living in a time where young men are increasingly groomed to hate women. Some of them are no different from the Taliban in their thinking and their plans for women in this country. It is time for passionate and courageous people to once again stand up for the full humanity and autonomy of women. We have the chance at the ballot box this November to be clear about this.

My advice to parents is this: Don’t ignore what is happening in society. Talk to your sons about what they are experiencing as young men today and help them navigate any negative feelings about females. Help shape their perception of what it is to be a real man.

My advice to young men is this: Remember that no human being wants to be a doormat. Women are not mindless vessels or sexual toys to be used and exploited. If you want a meaningful and lasting relationship with a living woman (not an AI generated woman), then be a confident, decent, hardworking, and respectful human being. If you are these things, you won’t have any trouble attracting a female partner to share your life with and with whom to raise children.

Every now and then I like to share a letter I’ve sent to an elected official. It is my hope that every reader will be inspired to write letters too. A policial aide once told me that written letters carry the most weight because politicians not only recognize the effort, but believe many others share the sentiment of the writer but neglected to write themselves. Writing letters to political leaders an effective way to expand your influence.

July 26, 2026

Dear Representative Jeffreys,

I am a voting democrat who cares deeply about the direction our country is moving. I donate to individual democratic candidates because I no longer have faith in the Party after that Biden debacle. I’m hopeful that we can win both the House and the Senate this November, but I am deeply concerned about what the democrats will do with this power.  We need big changes!

I agree that affordability is important.  But it is not everything as it seems your talking points indicate. Americans like me also need to hear you talk about what you will do should you gain power.  I want to hear that you will restore the rule of law and adherence to the Constitution by holding this administration fully accountable.  I want to hear that you will restore our democracy and enshrine our basic freedoms and the rule of law by passing necessary laws. Please confirm that you will ensure voting rights for all citizens and that getting rid of dark money in our politics is a priority. We want you to stop ICE agents from racial profiling and hold them accountable by law for violating our Constitutional rights. It should be illegal to allow a woman to be injured or to die because she can’t obtain a medically necessary abortion in any state and certainly no woman should be criminally prosecuted because of a miscarriage. Pass the necessary laws to protect women. People should have access to affordable healthcare, food stamps, and disaster relief no matter which state they reside in. Funding for medical and scientific research must be restored to our universities before the brain drain gets any worse. Our history must be preserved.  Businesses and guns require smart regulations that protect the public. And you need to make sure that moving forward no president is allowed to take bribes, extort, withhold funds or otherwise bully states, businesses, and lawmakers into doing his bidding.

There is much to do.  Call the culture wars what it is: a manufactured problem by the Republicans as a distraction from our real problems. Use the words of Jesus to combat the hijacking of true Christianity by those who hate instead of love but call themselves “Christians”.  My point is that democrats have been too nice and have been out maneuvered by cunning wolves in sheep’s clothing.  Be louder, be bolder, be smarter.  And save our nation. 

Sincerely,

Dr. Juanita Hall

Voting citizen

The collective apathy of citizens in our country gave us our current nightmare of corruption, cruelty, short-sightedness, and glaring incompetence. We took for granted that our Constitution, the rule of law, common sense and basic decency would continue to provide the guardrails that shielded us from the worst of human nature. Many citizens believed it didn’t matter which political party controlled the government because these guardrails were in place. We naively believed that all political parties ultimately wanted what was best for the country. We thought reasonable debates about how to deliver what was best for our country was the purpose of Congress. So, for most people, it seemed like going with the flow was a reasonable thing to do and they didn’t bother to vote.

But we were wrong. In a short period of time after Trump was re-elected, we saw how the consent and the cowardice of the Republican run House and Senate as well as the Supreme Court rubber-stamped incompetence, cruelty, greed, lawlessness, and the undermining of accountability. It’s been disheartening to watch protesters shot dead by ICE agents with impunity. It’s been heartbreaking to see immigrant families violently separated and girls raped and impregnated by ICE agents in detention camps. It’s been devastating to learn about women dying because they are unable to secure a medically necessary abortion or being criminally prosecuted for a naturally occurring miscarriage. It’s been infuriating to watch this president enrich himself and his family through insider trading, selling access, and taking obvious bribes for pardons, tariff deals, and favorable government policies. It’s been disgusting to watch the Trump name and image plastered all over the place. It’s been maddening to see our history and the accomplishments of women and people of color hidden or erased from public view. It’s been awful to watch lifelong public servants be fired because of their race or gender or prosecuted because they tried to hold this president accountable. It’s terrifying to watch the racists and xenophobes and homophobes become so loud and bold as they detort Christianity. And it’s been scary to watch the brain drain of innovation, science and research away from the United States as the government defunds university research and fires experts.

It’s impossible to ignore the inflation, destruction and devastation brought upon our country by this president and the complicit Republicans in the House and Senate. It’s not just that they are wasting our tax dollars on Trump vanity projects, a senseless war with Iran, or tariffs that make everything cost more. All of these things have also destroyed our reputation around the world. It’s no wonder the upcoming mid-terms scare Republicans. They fear accountability to the point that they will lie, steal, and cheat to win. They redistricted to give themselves more seats in Congress. They are pulling out all the voter suppression policies they can muster. And of course, they are engaging in fearmongering, demonizing democrats as communists. But we must vote anyway, in higher numbers than ever before.

I’m not a communist. I’m a citizen who believes in democracy, science-based public health policies, a robust safety net, free and effective public education, reproductive choice, access to affordable health care, and clean air and water. I want my tax dollars to fund research, infrastructure, defense, and the projects for the public good. I believe in personal responsibility as well as service to community. I believe in innovation and fair competition with reasonable regulations for business. I believe religion is a private affair, not something to be imposed on others by the state.

As I re-watch the “Handmaid’s Tale”, I often wonder just how courageous I am. Would I be willing to fight to the death to save our country from those who would strip women and LGBTQ people (and in our case, people of color, too) of their basic rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness? For the sake of my loved ones, I’d like to think I would. Thankfully, that is not a decision I have to make at this moment. Right now, before the mid-term elections, the fight requires much less from us.

First, we must vote blue in every local, state, and federal election. Second, if we have time and/or money, we must donate to or volunteer for blue candidates to help them get elected. Third, we must support organizations that are fighting this administration in court and in the court of public opinion. Forth, we must protest in ways that make sense to us. And finally, we must encourage (and maybe even persuade) our family and friends to join us. This is not the time to be timid. And hopefully, the apathy train that brought us here is gone for good.

If we can win both the House and the Senate as well as local and state positions, we can hold lawbreakers accountable and start repairing the damage that has been done to our country by these greedy, selfish, egotistical men who have hijacked our country. And maybe we can finally move forward with policies that actually help the American people and protect our history and freedoms from those who seek to destroy them. The future of this nation is in our collective hands. We can take set things right the easy way or the hard way. And I definitely prefer the easy way.

I’ve seen a lot of Instagram posts these days mocking young women describing themselves as traditional wives or “trad wives”. These pretty young women in their early twenties brag about their happy marriage to a domineering alpha man. Without life experience nor knowledge of previous female hardships, they forego higher education in favor of maximizing their physical attractiveness while highlighting a level of vulnerability and dependence that strokes the male ego. They promote scary levels submissiveness, relishing their role as “helper” while offering to have produce as many babies as possible and playing Susie Homemaker. They are outspoken in their belief that women should give up the right to vote in favor of allowing their husband to vote on their behalf. And of course, sex with their husband is non-negotiable as it is their duty. When they speak, I feel like I’m watching a character right out of the Hulu series, “The Testaments” (the sequel to the “Handmaid’s Tale”, also written by Margaret Atwood in 1985). I think these young women genuinely want to live a good life. However, I recognize that they are naive, short-sighted, and far too eager to encourage other young women to follow in their footsteps.

I’m pretty certain that Republican white male “Christian” nationalists are behind this trad wife movement to subjugate women by funding it and promoting it. Republican legislatures in red states refuse to pass laws banning child marriage. This president is soft on sex crimes against girls and women. Their abortion bans and the prosecution of women who have had miscarriages further highlight their nefarious agenda. Their move to suppress the vote of women through the SAVE ACT is clear evidence. Even the refusal of Pete Hegseth to promote women to higher military ranks is indicative of where this movement is heading. Fox News host, Jesse Watters, joked about military women and women at ports needing to “be careful” because “these guys are going to be wild animals, and you better watch out” because of the testosterone boosting policy Hegseth just put into place.

These young women are likely daughters socialized in conservative evangelical churches to believe that the God sanctioned role of women is to marry, have children, keep silence, and submit to their husbands. They are taught to view too much education as a threat and undesirable to men. Feminism and self-sufficiency among women are the deceptive work of the devil. I know these women and how they think because I personally rejected this line of thinking when I was a teenager, vowing that I would never marry if this was what awaited me. I knew then that nothing short of an equal partnership in marriage would work for my dignity as a creation of God. It’s as though these people are using author Margaret Atwood’s 1985 and 2019 fictional books at their actual guidebook.

I have to surmise that there must be a passive personality, a lack of confidence, a lack of self-awareness, a lack intelligence or just blind faith in the young women who accept this lifestyle. Admittedly, most of the trad wives I have known were not very smart. This could have been because of the church and parental expectations they experienced since birth. I know they were raised to view themselves as below men in authority and subject to them. However, any girl raised alongside boys (like I was) knows there is something inherently wrong with the notion that boys are more capable and that suppressing one’s gifts, one’s intellectual curiosity, foregoing one’s autonomy, and that leaving oneself completely dependent on the whims of males is unwise. Inside, these young women know, as I knew, that they aren’t inherently dumber or less talented or less capable than their male counterparts. But some of them are convinced that God’s just punishment for women is for them is to have children and to protect the fragile male ego. And so, they will pretend to be content. Like the girls in “The Testaments” and on social media, they just want to be “picked”. And when they are, they will keep silent to keep the peace. They will feign meekness and look pretty. They will panic and pray in private every time poor decisions are made by a husband who has no reason to respect their opinions. Until they can’t.

This kind of suppression and pretending doesn’t last and neither does their outward beauty. And none of this is without emotional consequence. Only the more intellectually challenged, naturally passive, or emotionally damaged women are cut out to be trad wives. Most women have egos, too. Like Eve, most women are intellectually curious. And constantly belittling oneself will take a toll on such women. Many will eventually find themselves increasingly unable to bite their tongues. And sometimes violence or infidelity from the man who was supposed to protect them will be the result.

The scenario I have repeatedly seen among women who choose to be trad wives is pretty predictable. The man can’t escape his vices. He’s a serial cheater. He gambles. He drinks too much. He is prone to violence. He can’t keep a job. He spends too much on toys. He is inconsiderate. He takes too many risks. Like the previous traditional wives before them, most of these young women will find themselves trapped in an unhappy marriage and without the means to escape. It’s too common for the husband to eventually leave the trad wife for a younger model. Or should their husband die prematurely, they are ill-equipped to survive on their own so they will struggle until they find a new man to care for them and their children, hoping he is good to them. I’ve also met a few former trad wives who broke free and got their education and became independent self-sufficient women who may or may not find true partnerships later in life.

It should be a huge red flag to young women that there aren’t a lot of older trad wives out there promoting this lifestyle. There is a reason for this, and I hope that more experienced women share the necessity of self-sufficiency and loving partnerships that preserves both egos as a more satisfying alternative. A bit more mentorship and candid conversations with our daughters, grand-daughters and nieces is needed to combat the promotion of female subjugation. Or a viewing of “The Handmaid’s Tale” and the “The Testaments” on Hulu might do the job.

Recently my husband and I complained that no one told us what life was going to be like as senior citizens. Neither of our parents lived that long. We were almost completely ignorant of what happens to our bodies, our finances, our relationships, our activities, and how others treat us when we retire. We were unaware that our cabinets would be overflowing with medications and that our metabolism would slow to almost zero despite our continued appetite for delicious food. We didn’t count on a loss of night vision and a heavy reliance on glasses until cataract surgery could be performed. Nor did we believe that exposure to loud noises in our youth would truly result in the need for hearing aids. One thing for sure though, it is a privilege to live this long with adequate funds, a sound mind, senior discounts, and a fairly functional body. Relatively speaking, we have it pretty good. We are aware that many seniors do not.

The journey through old age is wrought with physical challenges, slower cognitive abilities and perhaps memory loss. Most surprising is that it is impossible to escape the varying levels of sporadic grief. Beloved family members, lifelong friends, former colleagues, new friends and even pets die on a weekly basis. However, nothing hits us as hard as the untimely deaths of young people we know and love. Not surprisingly, I’m meeting far more widows than widowers in my journey through old age. It’s unusual for the surviving spouse to continue without going through a period of depression and if they emerge from it, a complete reorganization of their life. Sociologists tell us that women emerge stronger than men because women are better at nurturing themselves and they rely more heavily on social relationships. I wouldn’t be surprised if elderly men are more prone to isolate themselves after the death of their wives.

From what I’ve gathered, our inevitable death isn’t so dreaded as it once was, but the need for careful estate planning takes priority for many of us. My husband and I included. I’m meticulous about it. I’ve noticed that others are content to let their family and the state sort things out after they are gone. I’ve seen that mess up front, and it can destroy families. Basic estate planning is a must for those who care about their end-of-life decisions, their funeral and remains, and the distribution of the assets they spent a lifetime accumulating. For those of us with real assets, a living trust (which includes a will) is worth the time and financial investment. It has to be updated at least every two years or upon major changes like the death or birth of family members or the acquisition of major new assets. It’s also important to pay attention to changing laws.

I’m finding that there is great joy in watching our grandchildren and great-grandchildren being born and growing up. Among my circle of elderly friends, we spend a great deal of our time-sharing stories and pictures from our last visit with our grandchildren. Among the younger elderly, say 65 -80, a good portion of our travel budget is spent traveling the country for weeks at a time to visit the grandchildren. Some continue to travel the world, but that was something I did in my mid 40s through my 50s. I no longer have the desire to sit on a plane longer than 6 hours. And my husband’s back won’t allow him to sit on a plane at all. I’m glad we did our most desired world travel before we retired.

I’m especially grateful these days for the Active Adult Center in my small city. There are others throughout Ventura Country and members travel between them for various activities. I first joined the Monday morning knit and crochet group. They are a highly diverse group of ladies ranging in age from 66-90. Our 92-year-old friend passed away in her sleep several months ago after a short, undefined illness and a rapid cognitive decline. Every member of this group has mourned the death of at least one loved over the past year, including me. More than a year ago, I joined the Friday morning Bocce group. I participated in the Senior Olympics and won a gold medal in the darts competition. I marveled at the folks who participated in the annual senior talent show, realizing that talent and the desire to perform endures. I recently started playing Mahjong every Thursday and staying for the free lunch at the Center afterward. The food is terrible, but the fellowship is fun because our Center is so diverse (like California) and the life experiences of the people is so rich and interesting. Next door to the Active Adult Center is our city library. I joined the adult book club and thoroughly enjoy the lively book discussions among these intellectual and mature ladies who attend every month. Some are also members at the senior center.

I’ve learned that the greatest threat to our physical wellbeing and continued mobility is a bad fall. My husband and I both wear watches that can sense a fall and call emergency help if needed. I know people who have benefitted from this technology. In 1982, at age 94, my great-grandmother fell and broke her hip. The injury led to her death soon afterward. There are many examples of life-altering falls that I can now point to, but I’ll share the story that affects us the most these days. Just two years ago, our elderly next-door neighbors were very active in their church, around the house, and they traveled a lot. In the course of one year, both had falls that landed them in the hospital and rendered them home bound with a nurse aide who visits them several times a week. Thankfully, they had moved here shortly after retirement from up north to be closer to their daughter and grandchildren. That too, is a common practice I’ve seen among my elderly friends. I’ve met many people who left behind their former independent lives to move in with or at least closer to their adult children. But sometimes even that isn’t enough. One night, their daughter was at a dance recital for her teenage daughter, and not wanting to disturb her, they called me help get the husband into bed. I’ve driven the wife to the hospital when no one else was available. My husband was called upon a few times to help lift the wife from the floor. He did it to the detriment of his ongoing back problems.

Growing old is a blessing that comes with strings attached. There are more doctor’s appointments and dental appointments than I knew were feasible to fit into a weekly calendar. We pay for the rough activities of our youth in old age. I have arthritis in my knees, hands, and shoulders that require cortisone shots and physical therapy. I have numerous friends who have had knee replacements, hip replacements and back surgeries. It’s no fun. All those sports activities and abuse in our youth may cost us. Pickle ball is keeping physical therapists extremely busy as senior injuries pile up. However, we pay even greater price if we are sedentary. Body parts stop working if we fail to use them. An active brain, an active body, and an active social life are key to enjoying old age. I’m inspired by the mentally sharp and physically active 80 and 90 plus folks at the Center who drive themselves around and participate in all sorts of activities. One of my 90-year-old friends, drove her 22-year-old niece visiting from South America to San Francisco and back. Seeing these role models motivates me to keep stretching, gardening, and walking every day. I might try tai chi again.

I’ll conclude by sharing the story of one of our closest friends, a retired scientist, who regularly shares fish from his frequent deep sea fishing trips. At dinner this past last week, I asked about his elderly mother whom they (he and his wife) had moved to a senior living facility when she turned 98 after he discovered that his “caregiver” sister was leaving her in complete isolation every day and ignoring her needs. Some people mistakenly think that elderly people no longer have desires, needs, values, nor preferences. My greatest fear is being at the mercy of a caregiver who feels that way. Thankfully, his mother is now 102 and is living her best life among new friends. She is socially more active than he ever recalls, and she is even taking boxing lessons.

Old age comes with its challenges, but when I think of the alternative, I’m willing to do what is necessary to make it as rewarding as possible.

It’s a not-so-happy 4th of July for me. Unlike in previous years, I didn’t host nor attend a 4th of July celebration. I’m not listening to patriotic music or hanging the flag outside. If I were to hang it, it would be hung upside down as a sign of distress. With conflicted emotions, I briefly watched the local fireworks display from my bedroom window. This 4th of July, I’m simply not proud of my nation. I’m patriotic for sure, but I feel our current condition is not worth celebrating. A few days ago, PBS, NPR and Marist released the results of a poll they took ahead of our 250th anniversary and they revealed some interesting results that are both disturbing and unclear as to the root of people’s responses.

First of all, I’m not at all surprised that 93% of Republicans say that they are proud to be Americans while only 45% of Democrats and 61% of Independents feel that way. The divide clearly indicates that Republicans are either ignoring the current corruption, cruelty, cowardice, and incompetence leading the nation or they believe the drastic rulings from the Supreme Court and the unfettered actions of the Trump administration are moving the country in their preferred direction. They detest our diversity, viewing it as a threat because they believe white “Christian” culture is being undermined or replaced. They despise the notion of fairness because they don’t think they should have to compete with women or outsiders for anything. And they view inclusion as outsiders and women trying to rob them of their rightful position of supremacy. With this viewpoint, it’s understandable that they feel proud that America is finally pushing back against the black and brown people, the gays and transgender, the religious minorities, and independent women who are demanding the rights and freedoms they believe is solely their birthright as white “Christian” men. On the 4th of July, 400 masked members of the white nationalist/white suprematist group, Patriot Front, grabbed headlines as they marched through D.C. clad in khakis and blue shirts, carrying both the American and Confederate flags and passing out leaflets that explain their anti-immigrant pro-white ideals.

The truly scary thing about the poll is that 58% of people under 30 believe that violence might be needed to set the country on the right path. I suspect the percentage is considerably higher among young men on both sides of the political spectrum. According to the poll, almost half of Americans believe that the country has strayed from its founding ideals and principles. I can see that being true. The problem is that liberals and conservatives can’t agree on which founding ideals and principles we should be pursuing.

Liberals cite the Declaration of Independence and the preamble to the Constitution as the aspirational direction of the country. We believe that the founders pointed us in the direction of all men being created equal and entitled to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We believe they were purposeful in not establishing a state religion and proclaiming equal justice under the law. Although most of them were slave owners whose wives, daughters, mothers, aunts and sisters couldn’t vote, we believe they pointed the nation towards a future without slavery and towards equal rights for all Americans regardless of race, gender, religion, sexual orientation or national origin.

On the other hand, the current Republican Party sees something entirely different. They see the founders as rich white Christian men who believed God favored them and handed this nation over to them. They believe white men conquered the natives by God’s divine favor as some kind of righteous, (not heinous) acts of violence against humanity. They believe in the supremacy and entitlement of white Christian men and that the spoils of this nation belong solely to them. They believe that God ordains the submission of women to men. They believe their ancestors came here legally (even though legal immigration wasn’t a thing for many years). They think that opening the country to non-white immigrants was a mistake. So, they agree with Trump that newcomers from “shithole” countries (non-white countries) should be expelled or encouraged to self-deport. Those people of color who remain and all women, should rightly be considered second class citizens who serve the national interest as they see it. That’s what these masked young men were marching in support of.

Donald Trump, Mike Johnson, Elon Musk, Steven Miller, and the Heritage Foundation are moving the nation in that direction. The stacked and corrupt conservative Supreme Court is helping them. They turned abortion rights over to the states. They granted Trump immunity from criminal prosecution. They allowed the racial profiling of ICE agents in their pursuit of undocumented people. They allowed Trump to revoke the protected status of Haitians and Syrians. They gave Trump the right to fire people from independent agencies without cause (except members of the Federal Reserve). They removed yet another obstacle to dark money in our political elections. They removed voting rights protections. They favored the rights of Christians over the religious or non-religious rights of others. And what should have been a unanimous decision on birthright citizenship based on the clear writing in the 14th Amendment was only a 6-3 decision upholding the citizenship of persons born in the United States.

The Supreme Court upheld counting mail-in ballots post-marked by election day because not doing so would disenfranchise military members and too many others unable to make it to the polls. They also seem to deny Trump’s decisions that could damage the economy such as tariffs and his ability to fire someone on the Board of the Federal Reserve. We all know that President Trump is illegally enriching himself and his family through insider trading, taking bribes, grifts like his meme coins, extortion, and no-bid contracts to his friends. But the Republicans and MAGA ignore his criminality and egomaniac behaviors because they see that through him, they have the opportunity to push the nation toward white “Christian” nationalism. Their hatred and fear of independent women and people who look and believe different from them drives their passion for Trump.

Just imagining what this country would be like if white Christian nationalists have their way is frightening. The civil rights, livelihoods, and future prospects of people of color, women, religious minorities, and the LGBTQ people would be turned upside down. I think those 58% of young people under 30 believe that their future is under threat and worth fighting for using violence if necessary. They have lives and futures to protect. A larger percentage are likely liberal, and a smaller portion are highly organized into groups like the Patriot Front. They are young white male suprematists and Nazi sympathizers who realize their current numbers, poor job preparation and mediocrity isn’t enough to compete with the growing numbers of more highly educated independent women, hard-working immigrants, academics, celebratory LGBTQ folks, and visibly talented black folks. The presidency of Barack Obama only solidified their insecurity. Instead of celebrating Obama’s integrity, brilliance, and competence, they felt threatened by him and his equally brilliant wife, Michelle Obama. The candidacies Hillary Clinton and Kamala Harris were yet another signal that were losing control.

This fall, people who aspire to continue the nation’s pursuit of equality and justice for all must support candidates with our voices, our pocketbooks and our votes to replace the complicit and cowardly Republicans who are moving this nation away from liberty and justice for all towards liberty and justice solely for white males. However, this election goes, I fear there will be violence from young men in groups like the Patriot Front. The question is which ideals and principles our laws will favor moving forward.

This November citizens will have a clear choice regarding the direction of the country. I see within my own circle of friends and family that folks have heard enough and seen enough and are simply tuning out to the constant barrage of chaos, incompetence, and cruelty. I just pray each one of them votes to end the frustration and destruction in November. Sadly, I’ve heard some people say that their vote doesn’t matter because both sides are the same. While neither side is perfect, they are clearly not at all the same. In fact, Republicans are hell bent on limiting the vote to men. But there are many more differences that everyone should be aware of.

The Republican ranks are primarily filled with white “Christian” nationalists, white suprematists, crony capitalists, proponents of small government and severely limited business regulations, conservative billionaires, Zionists, xenophobes, homophobes, misogynists, and a whole lot of frightened, untraveled, and poorly educated white folks who get their information from Fox News. Republicans prioritize the civil rights of white males and wealthy individuals over the rights of women, poor people, immigrants, non-Christians, and racial minorities. They now favor immigration only from predominately white countries. They prioritize religious beliefs over scientific facts. Many value increasing their personal wealth and power above the well-being of the nation, the environment, and other human beings.

The Democrats and Democratic Socialists ranks are filled with a diversity of religions, genders, sexual orientations, and races. Since the Civil Rights Movement, Democrats strive to make it easier for all citizens to vote. They value equal justice under the law and defend the civil and human rights of all people as they strive for equal opportunity. Democrats favor a regulated capitalism that protects workers and the environment. They value paths to citizenship for law-abiding hard-working people willing to contribute to the country no matter their country of origin. Their focus is on the public good as opposed to increasing individual prosperity and power. Democrats are proponents of public safety nets such as access to food, healthcare, education, gun control, disaster relief, and housing. They prioritize scientific research and facts over beliefs. Democrats are generally more highly educated and traveled. Their ranks include liberal billionaires, feminists, liberal-minded Jews, and people who value diversity, equity and inclusion. They believe everyone should pay their fair share toward the common good of the nation.

Both Republicans and Democrats agree that national security is a priority. They agree that having good infrastructure benefits both people and business. Prior to Trump hijacking their Party, both Republicans and Democrats agreed on fidelity to the Constitution and adherence to the rule of law. They once agreed that immigration was good for the nation and that education and scientific research propelled us forward in the world. Trump’s bullying of Congressional Republicans in conjunction with Zionist and the conservative billionaires’ purchase of the Supreme Court justices have fundamentally changed the policy direction of the country in a dehumanizing direction that threatens women’s lives, the safety of immigrants, the environment and accountability to the rule of law. Because of these Republican policies, we can no longer trust our government to do what is in our collective best interest. The Republican goal is nation run by wealthy white men and a perverted version of the Christian religion.

This November’s election will determine whether or not we will hold this Administration accountable for breaking numerous laws. It will determine whether or not people have due process. It will determine whether we have an independent Department of Justice or one that acts on the whims of the president. It will determine whether or not we continue to lock people away in for-profit concentration camps or prisons and deport them because they are brown. It will determine whether or not we continue to endanger the lives and future prospects of pregnant young women. It will determine whether or not we have lifesaving access to food, healthcare, drinkable water and breathable air. It will determine whether or not gun violence will continue to threaten our daily lives. It will determine whether or not we have access to factual news and information. It will determine if our basic freedoms are restored. It will determine our access to history and books. It will determine whether or not we respond to natural disasters in a reasonable way. It will determine who gets to marry whom. It will determine if our education system teaches science or the Bible. It will determine who gets to be a citizen and who has the right to vote moving forward. It will determine our reputation in the world.

Anyone who continues to claim that the two parties are the same and that elections do not matter, need to be made aware of the current situation and the actual facts we are dealing with. As citizens who care about our nation, the environment, and each other, we have two jobs starting this November. First, we must vote and ensure a democrat turnover of both the House and the Senate. Second, we must push our new representatives to represent us aggressively and unapologetically to build back better all that has been damaged and torn down. And Speaker Mike Johnson was right, that if the Democrats win this November, some folks will end up in jail, not for revenge but for the sake of accountability and justice.

It’s quite possible that the greatest legacy of the Trump presidency will be a lesson in how important it is to vote. Good people who ignore or even hate politics learned that politics actively shapes the quality of their lives. I believe the majority of Americans are decent and reasonable people who want the best for themselves and their loved ones. I also believe that most Americans knew that Trump wasn’t fit for the White House. And yet, a full third of eligible citizens sat out the 2024 presidential election. And today we are collectively experiencing the consequences of their failure to vote. I pray that by the 2026 midterms this November and the 2028 presidential election those people will make voting a priority. What we have right now is nothing short of a fiasco comprised of decisions being made by Trump’s poor judgement, oversized ego, and ignorance.

Trump followed the Project 2025 playbook and surrounded himself with loyalist who would follow his every command no matter how ill-conceived. He handed over the federal government to Elon Musk and three inexperienced 20-year-olds who decimated federal agencies and the federal work force without regard for their crucial knowledge base and it’s efficient functioning moving forward. In the end, DOGE didn’t save much money and we lost services. In fact, federal spending in 2025 actually increased 6% (co-pilot) and tax revenues dropped because of less IRS enforcement. By most accounts, DOGE was a shortsighted failure that cost innocent government workers their jobs, is responsible for the death of millions who relied on U.S. aide for food and medicine and caused the loss of government competency and accountability.

The fiasco continued with the imposition of “illegal” tariffs on most of the world as Trump tried to convince the American people that tariffs were paid by foreign governments and not by the companies who import goods and passed on the cost to consumers. Of course, all he did was destroy our trade relationships, disrupt commerce, put farmers in peril, close small businesses that depend on imports, and cause prices to rise. Then the Supreme Court finally stepped in and confirmed that his tariffs were illegal without congress as the Constitution clearly states. But the damage was already done.

Then there are his mass deportation efforts. He claimed he was going to rid the country of violent criminal illegally in the country when in fact the vast majority of people detained are not criminals at all and a good number are not even here illegally. In an outlandish move, untrained ICE agents of questionable backgrounds were given the right to violate the due process rights of anyone they came into contact with in order to fill “for profit” concentration camps before deporting people to other parts of the world. The disregard for basic human rights and even the constitutional rights of citizens through brutality led to the unlawful death of protesters Renee Good and Alex Paredy. Those two murdering ICE agents still have not been prosecuted. The cruel and unlawful actions of ICE rightfully led to protests across the nation and the eventual replacement of that weird puppy-killing Cos-playing ICE director, Kristi Noem.

That brings us to the Epstein Files. Trump promised folks that he would release the files, but instead has been ordering his FBI and Justice Department to hide the fact of his extensive involvement and deep friendship with Epstein. Trump is implicated as not only knowing what Epstein was up to, but of being an active participant. Most people believe that we have an unprosecuted pedophile in the White House. And now we are seeing evidence that the first lady is a former prostitute. The whole Epstein fiasco along with the failed attempts to prosecute Trump’s political rivals, critics, and criminal prosecutors led to the firing of Pam Bondi. Now we have Todd Blanche as acting Attorney General who was his former defense attorney. He is under investigation for defrauding the court by agreeing to a $1.8 billion dollar “weaponization fund” designed to give people money who were prosecuted for crimes related to supporting Trump and a tax immunity deal for Trump, his family members, and his businesses. It’s plain crazy that this whole nonsense is to settle Trump’s lawsuit bogus $10 billion lawsuit against the IRS (under his own Administration) for leaking his tax returns. Thankfully more than 30 judges saw through the ruse and filed briefs with the court to stop it.

We have to contend with the illegal war in Iran that he started that has cost the life of 160 innocent middle school girls, about 4,000 Iranian soldiers, and 13 American soldiers for nothing in addition to billions of our tax dollars. In addition, this war has turned the world upside down as oil and fertilizer are held up in the Strait of Hormuz. Gas prices have soared and food shortages are expected to further raise the price of food. The MOU Trump signed has politicians, historians, and analysts disgusted by the actual concessions to Iran and the weakening of the U.S. position regarding Iran’s nuclear weapons. Nothing was gained by attacking Iran. The fact that the French president, Emmanuel Macron, mocked Trump by having him publicly sign the MOU at Versailles where the Germans surrendered is not lost on anyone but the feckless Trump Administration.

The list of messes we are enduring with the Trump Administration is long and includes the appointment of ridiculously unqualified cabinet members, the demolition of the East Wing of the White House, the silly and wasteful military parade no one wanted, plastering his name on the Kennedy Center and taking over the chairmanship only to have entertainers withdraw and the court rule that his name has to be taken off the building. Then there was that vulgar UFC fight at the White House. Hegseth removed the flu shot mandate and of course, soldiers are getting sick in numbers so high, that he has to restore the mandate. JFK, Jr. ushered in the return of measles, and we are unprepared for a new pandemic. There are the attempts to erase or rewrite history and eliminate the contributions of people of color from the public record. Trump’s insider trading to enrich himself and his family is by far the most corrupt thing we have ever seen. The fact that independent agencies like the FCC, FBI, Homeland Security, and the DOJ are doing his bidding counter to the welfare of the American citizens is difficult to stomach.

We are watching the erosion of our nation and its reputation in real time. Finding a new channel that isn’t afraid to report the news is difficult. Trusting that our government will act in our collective best interest is no longer a given.

The fiasco at the reflecting pool clearly demonstrates where we are. Trump gave his pool guy a $14 million no bid contract to beautify the reflecting pool, because clearly aesthetics, not the welfare of the American people, are his priority. The pool was drained, sealed, painted blue and then filled with water. Of course, algae quickly set in and the blue became green. So, they poured in jugs of hydrogen peroxide. The algae around the edges dissipated but the blue paint began to peel. So now, for $14-million dollars, we have a reflecting pool full of algae and peeling blue paint.

The fact of the matter is that Trump destroys everything he touches. And right now, he is destroying our country. I hope those who didn’t vote in 2024, realize that voting truly does matter and that they will move heaven and earth to vote from now on.

I’m happy that most of the people I encounter in my everyday life are decent people. Beyond my family, friends and neighbors, I watch and interact with people at the senior center, in restaurants, in stores, at salons, at theatres, and during my daily walks. I find the people I encounter to be courteous, considerate, friendly, and even generous towards others. So, how is that the majority of us have allowed ourselves to be ruled by wicked people in high places?

As kids we all encountered that playground bully who embodied shameless selfishness, violent aggression, the lack of empathy, and little fear of consequences. We all hated and avoided that monster. That bully was the reason we had adult supervision. Fortunately, most families and teachers concentrated their efforts towards curbing the behavior of such children, realizing that without intervention that bully would eventually become a danger to society. Most who continued along that path either ended up dead or in prison.

However, the trajectory is different for the bully who grows up with money and neglectful parents. We’re experiencing the consequences of how the Trump family allowed Donald to grow up to be a lawless and cruel person who sexually molested children and women, dodged the draft, defrauds vendors, insults others, threatens, cheats, steals, lies, insights violence, starts wars, and murders others with impunity. Most of us were shocked to find anyone who took him seriously as a presidential candidate in 2016.

People reprimanded Hillary Clinton for correctly labeling his supporters as “deplorables” because she recognized the depravity of folks who openly admired such wicked behavior. Trump supporters saw him as “authentic” because he unapologetically defied the confines of common decency. They viewed him as “strong” because he violated others without consequence. And they made him their hero because he promised to defend and restore the unearned privilege of white people. His unashamed wickedness, empty promises, coupled with xenophobia, racism and sexism were enough to get him elected twice because too many decent folks were either too busy or too apathetic to vote.

The problem is that wicked people, like Donald Trump, only become more audacious in their wickedness. Absent the guardrails of his first term, his corruption and evil ways have grown increasingly grotesque to most of us. He ignores the Constitution and our laws, enriches himself with our tax dollars, seeks revenge through the DOJ, and plasters his name and image everywhere. His vulgarity never ends. It’s disgusting to most of us and now our expressions of disapproval and outright disgust are everywhere.

Only 16% of Americans approve of his UFC fight happening today at the White House. Thank you, Mother Nature, for the forecasted heat, humidity, thunderstorms and tornado along with swarms of gnats and mosquitos that will make the event miserable. In addition, Algae has already infested the newly painted reflecting pool. Celebrities pulled out of his 250 Festival when they realized it was all about him, not the nation. Folks stood outside the Kennedy Center in the middle of the night cheering as his name was removed from building following a lawsuit. And of course, he was loudly booed by Knicks fans when his face appeared on the big screen during the national anthem at the Knicks and Spurs NBA finals game. Saturday night folks stood outside Trump Tower in New York to make sure he understood he was unwelcome at any future games.

Most Americans have heard and seen enough. They recognize the mistake of electing a truly wicked individual to the highest leadership position. The question is what will we do about it because this Republican lead Congress is full of cowards. We have many options. I’ve seen a lot of trolls, creatives, artists, comedians and podcasters matching his negative energy with their own. The protest songs, skits, and Lego videos just keep coming. The lawsuits are never ending and he keeps losing. The street protests are growing. The elections are happening and many are hopeful. However, if these don’t solve the problem, I dread seeing what comes next because it won’t be pretty. But whatever comes next, will be well deserved and hopefully effective in removing him and his entire administration.