I’ve never been a thrill-seeker. I first learned discovered my aversion to heights and speed on a trip to Magic Mountain with friends when I was about 14. Until that day, I had never made a connection between fun and danger. So, I had no fear during the 30-minute wait to board the biggest roller coaster I had ever seen in my life. But what happened after the ride should have caused me great embarrassment, but I don’t recall feeling that way at all.
That was to be my first and last experience on a full size roller coaster. When the ride ended, my friends disembarked, but I sat silently in the roller coaster car for a good 5 minutes, paralyzed. It took a park attendant to escort me from the ride, reassuring my quaking body the whole time that I was in fact “okay”. No more fast and furious roller coasters for me! I think most kids would have been embarrassed by the incident that happened in full view of four teenage friends and a host of strangers, but I wasn’t. I was sufficiently scared so as to thwart any sense of embarrassment.
I’ve never felt the “need for speed” nor understood those who do, including my own children. I hate roller coasters and the last thing I would ever want to do is jump out of an airplane. I see a mountain and I have no desire to climb it. In fact, I don’t understand people who willingly risk their lives for the next thrill. I’m so risk adverse, that I won’t go anywhere near the edge of a cliff, even to see the beauty below like the times we took the kids to the Grand Canyon and Yosemite National Park and drove up to Half Dome. I’m just fine at least 25 feet away from the edge. I’d prefer to view the beauty below from the safety of an IMAX film—which I’ve done on numerous occasions.
I’ve been told that I’ve missed out on a lot and that’s probably true. But I have tried to make myself more daring. Having been traumatized by the horror movies Alfred Hitchcock’s, “The Birds”(1963) and Bert Gordon’s, “Picture Mommy Dead” (1966) I thought I would suck it up and accompany two of my then teenage kids to a horror film they wanted to see. It didn’t take more than 20 minutes for me to leave the theater and request a refund. I went shopping until the film was over. I admit that I’m no fun at thrill-ride amusement parks or water parks. I’m no fun at certain parties either, having never been high or drunk in my entire life. The jokes about my tea-toting ways don’t bother me. I know who I am.
But my aversion to thrill-seeking extends beyond speed, heights, horror films, and mind-altering drugs. I still recall the argument I had with myself when all the other college students jumped into the crystal blue water in the Blue Grotto (a sea cave off of the island of Capri in Italy). This I regret. And I regret the time I remained in the boat while my kids snorkeled in the waters off the island of Kauai and saw all the wonderful fish. I regret skipping the opportunity to zip line in Costa Rica. Each time, I felt real conflict between my desire to experience the amazing and my sense of danger. I’m not good at putting the brakes on my fear responses, especially because I actually have a strong physical response to the anxiety, even in the movies. Sometimes I hate it that while everyone is having fun, the makeup of my brain demands that I play it safe. I know I’ve missed out on a lot of cool experiences because of my aversion to danger (no matter how imaginary, as in a horror movie).
I’ve often joked that I’m missing the thrill-seeking gene. In fact, neuroscientists have discovered that different kinds of thrill-seeking behaviors may well be genetic. Thrill seekers seem to have fewer dopamine-inhibiting receptors and so they need more and more stimulation to be satisfied. People like me seem to have more activity in the frontal cortex that controls emotions, while thrill seekers have less. Of course, it’s a lot more complicated than that and genetics only accounts for 50-60 percent of this these tendencies while environment makes up the other part of our personality. I’m glad I didn’t screw up my kids with my inhibitions.
I may not crave the thrills associated with horror movies, getting high, or sky-diving, but I do crave the mild thrills that come from new experiences like those I get through travel and learning new things. This too, is one category of sensation-seeking and I’m okay with that. All I can say is, thank God for IMAX movies.
Want to learn more? Here’s the link to a really good article, http://dana.org/News/Details.aspx?id=43484