I count it a privilege to dress up in my academic regalia to honor the marking of a milestone achievement called graduation or commencement. Graduates are relieved to be done with final exams and are happy to be celebrated by family and friends who will fill the stadium to hear their name called as they walk across the stage to shake the hand of the University President. Alongside the glee and great celebration, I also see and hear the anxiety that comes with leaving the comfortable nest of the college campus.
Working at a University, we try to make students feel like they are a part of a community. We work hard to get to know traditional aged students (18-24) during a time when they are trying to transition from childhood to “emerging” adulthood. They are at a stage in life where they are finding out who they are and what they care about. They are merging their classroom lessons with the life lessons gained in community. Perhaps the world has become much more complicated so that it takes these four years to get the basics down? Many say that a bachelor’s degree today is what a high school diploma used to be.
I recall my own rude awakening to this as a parent when shortly after my daughter’s graduation from Pepperdine University she announced during a conversation that she wasn’t an adult. She was only 22. Her not being an adult was news to me! Up until then, I had considered 18 to be an adult. My generation considered themselves adults at that age. I now muse over how my generation of women called themselves “old maids” if they weren’t married by 25. Times have changed. The American students I work with today do not consider themselves fully adult until around age 26. Yes, international students are different; more mature and do consider themselves as adults. For American students, I’ve adopted the term, “emerging” adults from a book I read titled, “Not Quite Adults: Why 20-somethings are choosing a slower path to adulthood, and why it’s good for everyone” by Richard Settersten and Barbara Ray.
If High School and College graduations can no longer be considered the launching pad into adulthood, what are they? I guess that depends on who you ask. One student I spoke to is taking the next few months to travel around the world. Another is heading directly to graduate school, sometimes considered a delaying mechanism of either work, the outside world, or paying off student loans. It is true that some professions require graduate degrees, but as a former professor of graduate students, I’m in favor of graduate students who have gained a few years of life experience beyond the academic corridors before entering the graduate classroom. Others, who can afford to combine social consciousness with adventure choose a beeline to the Peace Corps or to teach English in a foreign country, like my son.. There are a privileged few who shrug their shoulders, having no plans beyond having a good time for now. But the vast majority, facing student loan debts, have sent out resumes and been to a few interviews in hopes of landing a great job that will eventually enable them to live independent of their parents. Long gone are the days when the next step after graduation was a wedding. For now, most just return to the family home and claim a weird combination of independence and dependence (emerging adulthood). The weddings I see now happen 5-15 years post-graduation. This excludes the fun trips to Vegas for a wedding, followed by an immediate annulment. But back to the important day itself.
Graduations are still laborious events with the occasional interesting, if not humorous speech. These days, I marvel over the creative messages pressed onto the black mortarboards that dawn the heads of the graduates. Some express gratitude to parents, others express pure joy over their accomplishment. Some are just incredible works of art. My favorite yesterday was the one that read, “I’m done with this B.S.” Maybe she was referring to her degree or all she had to deal with to get it or both. All are a form of entertainment during a ceremony that can last for hours with the reading of each and every name. One sure sign of relief is that I can now pull out my cell phone rather than struggle to stay awake.