Mother of the Groom

In less than a week, this coming Saturday, my youngest son (age 32) is getting married.  A two year engagement seemed like a very long time, but here it is and I’m in full mother of the groom mode, which is notably far less stressful than the traditional mother of the bride mode. I feel fortunate to genuinely love the people my three birth children have chosen as spouses.  Each has chosen hard working, intelligent human beings who all happen to be white.  Our newest addition, just completed medical school and will be doing her residency at John Hopkins.  Thankfully, my son quickly landed a great job in Baltimore, so that stressor disappeared before he could become truly stressed over it.  Because his bride was engulfed in her studies and then that whole residency matching process, she didn’t seem too interested in all the wedding plans like the typical bride.  Until now.  I’ve  had to remind my son a couple of times to relax and let his bride have whatever she wants and “say yes dear” to all her last minute changes.  Brides do get crazy and so do mother’s of the bride.  They both want everything to be perfect.  His job is to just relax, reassure her, and show up.

I’ve gotten off easy as the mother of the groom.  I got to advise my son on the engagement ring.  I got to write an exceptionally large check for the rehearsal dinner.  And I got to do my favorite thing: shop.  First for a bridal shower gift, then for a mother of the groom dress (for which there is no designation), followed by matching shoes, a purse, and jewelry.  I couldn’t stop myself from  shopping for a wedding gift to accompany the money I plan to gift them.  This week, I get to get my hair, nails, and eyebrows done.  But most of all, I have gotten to sleep soundly these past two years of planning.  I don’t have a long “to do” list like I did with my daughters.  And thank goodness, I don’t have the multiple bills for hiked up prices when the word “wedding” is attached to any good or service.  I thought I would get away with just planning to eat, drink, and dance the night away until the phone rang this past Monday.

My son telephoned to ask me to say a blessing at the reception.  At first I refused, clinging to my vision of a carefree occasion.  But after thinking about it and talking it over with work colleagues, I changed my mind.  And then he added that it was customary for the parents to say something at the rehearsal dinner we are hosting (paying for).  So, now I had two speaking parts.  Okay.  So, I prepared a poem for the rehearsal dinner and a blessing for the reception.  In typical “Juanita” fashion, I couldn’t leave well enough alone and I decided to fashion two gifts for the happy couple  in tricked out fancy boxes to commemorate my little contributions.  Might as well make the moment memorable.

I want the poem and the blessing to be a surprise, so I’ll wait until my post-wedding post to share them.  That said, I’ll be taking off next week from my usual posting as I’m anticipating a very long weekend with wedding festivities and family obligations.

Next post in two weeks.  Remember our fallen troop on Memorial Day!