Despite the very best intentions, the strongest discipline, and possession of the highest esteem for morality, no one is publicly perfect. And in the day of social media and the 24 hour news cycle, each imperfection is quickly put on display to ensure a swift and public shaming. I’m all for accountability, but how that accountability is executed in our society is far from ideal.
This past week Kevin Hart was announced as the master of ceremony for the Oscars. There was a lot of excitement around the announcement. After all, he’s a funny guy. But just two days later, he backed out of the gig when 8-10 year old negative (and hurtful) comments he made about the LGBTQ community resurfaced. Several years ago he had publicly apologized for those comments and expressed how his thinking had evolved. Not wanting to revisit the issue and not wanting to be a distraction to the event, he pulled out. I was sad because I think he would have done a great job. But at greater issue is that I think our society is shooting itself in the foot with this kind of accountability.
True, we absolutely need to hold people accountable. However, I question the fairness of holding people accountable today for actions that society had deemed acceptable at the time of their occurrence. The collective social morals of society change over time. At one time, it was unacceptable for a girl to call a boy on the phone. It was considered scandalous for unmarried couples to live together. Such a couple were whispered about as “living in sin” or “shacking up”. It was a normal part of the workplace for men to flirt with and even pursue women. Now we call it harassment, but when it first became an issue, the offense had to be unwanted, persistent, and “pervasive”. So, men who once tried to kiss a female employee without express permission in the past, got a pass. But I wonder if it is fair to derail any person’s career or life today by bringing up a once acceptable (though obnoxious) behavior from ten, fifteen, or twenty years ago?
The rules in the past did not honor nor protect minorities or women. I quit science behind the unwanted sexual attention of a teacher. I quit a lucrative job in finance behind the unwanted amorous attention of the boss. Both men were considerably older than me, so I assume they are either long retired or more likely dead now. But what if they weren’t? Would I seek to derail their careers if they apologized and explained how they had evolved with the changing societal norms? Most likely not. Would I want to be held accountable for things I said and did 20 years ago when times were different and I was different? No, I wouldn’t.
Times are changing more rapidly than ever and so our societal norms. I think it is counterproductive to hold people accountable for past behaviors using present day norms. We need to give people space to express their moral movement with the times. I would really like to see our society hold people accountable in real time for real time offences like constantly lying to the American people, posing with Nazi salutes, and shooting innocent black young men.
If there was a time in my life when I made mistakes that had consequences, it was my 20’s. When we know better, we do better. If people have learned differently over a decade, cut them slack. Moral standards shift. Legal standards, need to to applied equally, across the spectrum. Your last paragraph says it all.