Month: May 2019

I recently heard that suicide in the U.S. was highest among middle-age white males. The 2017 statistics indicated that nearly 70% of all U.S. suicides were carried out by white men. Over half of the suicides involved the use of a gun. Although white men have occupied the most privileged position in our society, they are facing a growing demand by women and people of color for increased access to the opportunities once only afforded only to them as white males. The return to a zero-sum game promoted by Trump wherein they continue to be the winners and women and people of color remain at the bottom is dangerous for all of us.

I can only wonder what goes through the mind of a white male who loses his job, fails to get a promotion, or is denied admission to his dream school? What does he think when he sees a woman or minority succeed where he has not? In a country where he has been taught to believe that he will ascend to the top because of his ambition, hard work, and intelligence, he likely was never asked to notice how the obstacles to his success had once been removed. He never saw how competition by equally gifted women and minorities for admission to the best schools or for the best jobs had been squelched for years by “Need not apply” signs explicitly or implicitly erected for women and minorities. Competition for societal prizes is new for them. And they don’t like it! Who would?

The under-educated whites likely view immigrants and globalization as a threat to their livelihood. The social climbers see women, Jews, and people of color as competition for social promotion. Perhaps having the Obamas in the White House for eight years was too much for many of them. White male success is no longer a given and if they do not succeed they are looking for someone to blame. But many know that they cannot with integrity blame other human beings who also have the right to pursue their dreams and aspirations. Their own sense of fairness will not allow for that. So, finding themselves lacking or without the where-with-all to compete and win, are they dealing with their failure in this lethal way?

But other white males are taking a different path. The rise in white supremacy is no joke and the narrative that they are feeding themselves and others is meant to provide them with a way to overcome their feelings of failure and to roll back competition because they have a “right” to the best jobs and to be at the top. Make America great again is code for relegating minorities and women to the lower classes. When young white males are chanting, “Jews will not replace us”, what are they saying? Who benefits when abortion rights are rolled back and women are saddled with children? What happens to a woman’s education and job prospects with an unplanned pregnancy? Who benefits when communities of color are over-policed and prison sentences for black and brown people are systematically longer than that of whites? Who benefits from a broken or severely limited immigration system?

On the surface, some might think that white males benefit from the oppression of others. But in truth, everyone loses. The economic cost, the lost of productivity, as well as the loss of human talent in order to sustain a growing prison system, provide public welfare to raise children born to poor women, and limits on immigration hurt everyone.

Change toward meritocracy is necessary and good for everyone except those who find the change a challenge. Older white men are killing themselves while younger white men are picking fights that they know are morally wrong. A few white males are becoming terrorists, shooting up schools, malls, houses of worship. What is evident, is that our society better come up with a narrative that brings people together in a win-win scenario. Martin Luther King, Jr. said it best, “We either learn to live together as brothers, or we’ll perish together as fools.”

I was surprised that this year’s graduating class at my University only heard commencement addresses given by their fellow students. There was no celebrity, no politician, no successful alum to give advice to the graduating class. Instead, the onlookers got to hear the compelling stories of the resilience it took to finally make it to graduation. That was great to hear and confirming of the relief and celebration that everyone felt, but it didn’t point to the massive future that lies ahead. I felt like we missed an opportunity this year to share a final bit of wisdom with our students leaving the college bubble for the real world.

In truth, I’ve listened to commencement speeches for the inspiration and wisdom they provide not only to the graduates, but also to me and to the many others in attendance. The varied life experiences of past speakers have inspired and broadened my thinking. I’ve always learned from what they have to say. In the absence of a speaker this year, I got to thinking about what I would say to this particular class of graduates.

First, I would say that it is important to start saving money with that every first job, no matter how high or low the pay they negotiated. And ladies, you must negotiate! A wise person never spends everything he or she makes. Start saving for a house, for emergencies, and for retirement immediately. Don’t let that $25 or more even reach your bank account. Make your lunch or forgo a Starbucks coffee once a week, and you’ve got your savings started. The power of compound interest is always greater than you imagine.

Second, I would say that it is important to keep on learning. Technology changes, knowledge keeps growing, and those who will be successful will be lifelong learners who are capable of changing with the times and nimble enough to continuously add to their skill set. Be intellectually curious and cutting edge. Keeping your brain busy will keep you sharp for a lifetime. Exercise both your mind and body. Physical exercise helps improve your emotional and intellectual well being.

Third, I would say that it is imperative to pay attention to the actual news, not just the spin or opinion of pundits. Vote in every election for local, state, and national government. The attention given to civic responsibility will determine the policies for the environment, the economy, social issues and can make the difference between war and peace. Politicians have to be pushed in the right direction by an informed public or we’ll end up with ridiculous laws and rampant government corruption.

And finally, I would say to invest the greatest amount of your time and energy in the people you love and the vocation you love. The gift you give to the world will be greatest if you put your gifts, talents, resources and this expensive education to work investing in the people and the career you are most passionate about. The fruits of that labor will become your ultimate contribution to the world and will become your legacy.

There is so much more to say, like the importance of guarding your reputation, living with integrity, and maintaining good credit, but time is always limited. So, those four points would likely make up the essence of any commencement speech I would give to graduating students. If these words of wisdom are worthy, I hope they will be heard by graduates at my University and those across the nation.

I’m a mother by choice and by good fortune. It’s a blessing to get pregnant on a timetable that is acceptable to you and under circumstances of your own choosing. It’s also a blessing to sustain a desired pregnancy through to the birth of a healthy child. I recognize that I am one of the blessed women. And because of this fortune, in my twenties, I rarely empathized with the pro-choice movement. In fact, I had once considered myself to be pro-life, but that changed as I became aware of the plight of other women. Now the choice of many women is in peril.

I was appalled to learn about the new heartbeat law, HB 481, that just passed in the state of Georgia that bans abortion as soon as a heartbeat can be detected, around six weeks into pregnancy (except for cases of rape and incest). I didn’t even know I was pregnant at six weeks and I’m certain many women don’t. I saw news reports and read three separate articles on the new law because it sounded so unbelievable. I feel like I am witnessing a true life version of “The Handmaid’s Tale” wherein a bunch of powerful religious white men take over the reproductive rights of women as though they are nothing more than baby-making machines. Only in this real life scenario, society is not in danger of extinction from infertility. These are Republican religious zealots seeking to impose their will to dominate women using forced motherhood.

The new law criminalizes abortion to the point that women can be sentenced to life in prison or even the death penalty. Doctors who perform abortions can be sentenced to 99 years in prison. What’s more, women who travel to other states to get an abortion can be prosecuted. If this wasn’t bad enough, the law gives the unborn full personhood rights. The ramifications of that alone were not well thought out. Women who miscarry can be scrutinized to see if they contributed to the miscarriage. And if found guilty, they can be prosecuted for murder.

My mind is blown. Not only is this very bad public policy, but the law ignores all manner of privacy and personal decision making among women. How will the state know if I am pregnant? How will the state know whether or not I traveled to another state to visit my grandmother and got an abortion while there? How will the state determine that my miscarriage was nature taking its course or an accidental fall down the steps? They can even question whether or not I was truly raped. Beyond these absurdities, it is important to look at whose life prospects are really being determined by these mostly white male Republican legislators.

I did a little research into who is having an abortion and how many we are talking about nationwide. I got the statistics from a pro-life website . Of the approximately one million abortions carried out each year, 85% are unmarried women, 75% are low income, and 60% are in their twenties. These are women who are looking at their situation and deciding that the timing isn’t right for them to become mothers. And by the way, 55.4% are black and Hispanic women. Surprisingly, 60% are already mothers who are deciding not to have another child at that time. According to NBC reporting, about 1/3 of American women have had an abortion. The great majority of abortions are carried out early in pregnancy. To pro-lifers, like those in Georgia that doesn’t make any difference. But to me it does.

Anyone who has heard me talk about this topic knows that I believe life begins with breath. Just as God formed Adam out of the dust of the earth, it wasn’t until He breathed the breath of life into him that Adam became a living soul. I see the womb as a forming place. I believe when the fetus takes breath outside the womb, then there is a living soul. I don’t like late term abortions except in very rare medical circumstances. Given the chance, fetuses as early as 24 -26 weeks gestation can survive outside the womb, so give that baby a chance because life is precious. But so is the life of the mother.

Does pro-life mean ending the life of a desperate woman who doesn’t hold your religious belief about when life begins and so chooses for herself and her family to end a pregnancy? Does pro-life mean removing mothers from their growing children by throwing them in prison because they can’t afford to feed and nurture another child? Does forcing desperate women to go underground like they did before legalized abortion sound like a good idea? The Republican legislature in Georgia and the other states who are passing these ridiculous anti-abortion laws need to think seriously about what they are doing. Forcing young, poor women into motherhood or prison does nothing positive for anyone. And about 1/3 of these would be black women. And beyond all this, who is going to provide for the health, education, nurturing, and general welfare of all the accidental children that will be born? The Republicans seem to be rolling back social safety nets, not broadening them to actually enable these women to choose motherhood. Or better yet, how about expanding access to free and affordable contraception in the first place?

I love being a mother, but I wonder how much I would love motherhood had it been forced upon me at a time and under circumstances that were much less than ideal for me and my child.

My blood pressure is a concern. I’m on blood pressure medication and I hope that helps to relieve my burgeoning anger over the blatant attacks on our democracy these past few weeks since the Mueller Report was released and Attorney General Barr put his thump on the scale. I sent emails every day this past week to lawmakers who were involved in shaping what happens next. By Thursday, I began calling for impeachment of both Barr and Trump. Then the jobs report came out. This week highlights a turning point for some Americans who must now choose between their conscience and their pocketbook.

I admit to being one of the Americans who is doing well in this economy. My undergraduate degree was in business and my early career choice was finance. I started saving and investing early on and never stopped. Even with a change of career to education, which pays considerably less, I still manage to save and invest. My husband and I are among the few lucky people who never faced budget-busting medical bills or a natural disaster that destroyed everything. We were never victims of a Bernie Madoff type Ponzi scheme. We were able to work the financial crisis to our advantage because we had stable-good paying jobs, great credit, and adequate savings. The Trump tax break allows us to contribute more to our savings accounts. But for people like us, I realize that we have the luxury of favoring our conscience over our pocketbook. We don’t worry about money the way many Americans do.

Amid the collective Trump administration giving the middle finger to Congressional oversight while also suing to remove Obamacare, the jobs report came out. Unemployment is at its lowest point since 1969 at 3.6%. However, wages are still too low. I heard that the current minimum wage would need to be around $18 an hour to keep in step with inflation over the years. In other words, the buying power of minimum wage pay has eroded over decades. It is daily news that many people are not sharing in the spoils of this “booming” economy. But I wonder if a promise from Trump that they will eventually experience it be enough for him to win again? In 2016 he promised to bring back the good of days of high paying coal and manufacturing jobs. He promised to punish the countries that stole our manufacturing industries with tariffs. Tariffs raise prices on consumers and coal destroys the environment along with the health of its workers, but all some people heard was the promise of high paying jobs.

In 2020, the democrats will need to offer solid economic ideas that boost wages, protects the environment, and provides affordable healthcare and educational opportunities for the middle class while also promising to restore the dignity and morality of the presidency. At the same time, they can’t punish the wealthy for being wealthy. That, too, is an attack on the American dream itself and on Americas longstanding love of capitalism. This is a tall order.

In my opinion, I think any of the 22 democratic candidates can restore the dignity and morality of the presidency. For me, this is just as important as the economic concerns. The question is, whose economic ideas are sellable to the American public and the Congress? Who can put forth responsible capitalism as the way to go? I’m thinking along the lines of someone less radical than Bernie and Elizabeth and more in line with Joe Biden, Beto O’Rourke, Kamala Harris, and Amy Klobuchar. I don’t know enough about the others to have an opinion yet. I just know that whomever the democrats put forward must satisfy both the conscience and the pocketbook of the American electorate. I fear having to choose between the two because our democracy and our environment might just lose.