Crazy Over Corona

This week I saw and also experienced the emerging mental health challenges stemming from the Corona virus pandemic. I think combining major life changes, social separation, physical threat, ambiguity, conflicting information, and financial stressors is a recipe for a widespread mental health crisis that differs among individuals affected. I saw a variety of manifestations of the crisis this week, starting at home.

My husband has always struggled with claustrophobia. But this week, the condition hit him hard and he couldn’t stay home. The back and front yards were no longer enough. I didn’t realize what was going on until he insisted beyond any iota of rational thought that he had to go to the car dealership to get a replacement for a cracked tail light that was under warranty until December. When I pointed out that it was still April and that the tail light could wait, he protested to the point that there was no stopping him. With mask and sanitizer in hand he left the house. No surprise that the dealership didn’t have the tail light and would have to order it. The following day, he made an unnecessary trip to COSTCO for snacks. Friday, it was another trip to the car dealership without even a call to see if the part was in. Saturday, he went golfing since they reopened the golf course. Needless to say, his irrational behavior was cause for tension between us as I reminded him of the need for social distancing, the risks of exposure in the places he was going, and the pre-existing conditions we both have that put us at particular risk. His emotional need to get out of the house was much stronger than his fear of the threat of what he might bring home. That was my husband this week, but I’ve had my own struggle.

I’ve been overly stressed by work-related changes and challenges along with a coincidental flare up of my asthma. In addition, and not surprising, my gastric ulcer flared up, leaving me in enormous pain. I haven’t been physically well, but I pushed myself to at least keep working Monday – Friday. I’ve been eating my ulcer diet, sleeping seven hours, and exercising with stretching, the treadmill, hand weights and gardening a few minutes a day for sunshine and fresh air. And then out of the blue, something else hit me. It was either burnout or mild depression. For about an hour and a half on late Friday afternoon, I was overcome with this feeling of wanting to just give up. I felt like I couldn’t move. I couldn’t read another email, do another Zoom call, respond to another question or take another phone call. I wanted to quit everything. If this was what life was going to be like, I wanted no part of it. I went and sat on the front porch. I went and sat on the back patio. I felt tired of it all. I was thankful that it was late Friday afternoon, meaning I had the weekend ahead to recover and to think of a way forward.

Experiencing my own mental health issues and that of my husband’s this week, helped me understand a little better why people are out there protesting and demanding an end to the shut down even before it is safe to reopen. People with anxiety issues are likely more anxious. People with anger issues are likely more angry. The list goes on about how underlying mental health issues are being exasperated by the crisis. As we collectively experience the death of society as we know it, we had better pay attention to mental health. Let’s recognize that our lives have been completely disrupted by the death of loved ones, the fear or reality of financial ruin, the absence of social gatherings, the massive adaptations to lifestyles, the pressure to be productive, and the loss of freedom of movement. Add to that the threat of contracting an unpredictable disease and the constant barrage of news, misinformation, and ambiguity about the future. There is no end in sight and that makes the situation more difficult for all of us.

I know I’m not alone in struggling to maintain a healthy outlook in the midst of this pandemic. But one thing I do know is that we can’t deny what is happening and pretend like we can go back to life as we knew it. Change is hard and coming to terms with a new normal is not without heartache, setbacks, and yes, pain. But if we can listen to cooler heads, acknowledge our struggles, give ourselves a break, take better care of our body, mind, and spirit, and then figure out reasonable solutions, we’ll get through this as stronger individuals and as a stronger and hopefully more equitable society.