Month: October 2020

I’ve had periods in my life when I’ve loved humanity and periods when I’ve loathed it. Today, I’ve come to appreciate some aspects of humanity while I am terrified by other aspects. Humans can be empathetic, innovative, nurturing, brave, thoughtful, kind, creative, grateful, dependable, bold, sensitive, generous, disciplined, and analytical. But they can also be hypocritical, selfish, bigoted, cruel, greedy, reckless, inconsiderate, tyrannical, destructive, cowardly, violent, arrogant, apathetic, gullible, lazy, and ignorant. The choice between constructive and destructive character lies within each of us and is what makes us human. But depending on whether our admirable or despicable self wins in our daily decision-making determines our fate. I’m not talking about an ultimate destination of heaven or hell or whether we are reincarnated as a flea, but the quality of our lives now, both individually and collectively on this planet.

I feel like I’m living in a character war zone, not a personal one, but a societal war zone since most of my internal battles have already been settled. I’ve chosen sides on the big character questions in life and so I know who I am. I know what I value. I know how I will respond in most situations. And I know which side of most public debates I will fall on. I’ve chosen the character foundations upon which I will live my life. And for the most part, these traits are settled within me. For example, I’ll choose kindness over cruelty, generosity over greed, and empathy over apathy. However, there is always room for growth, additions, revision, and innovation in the expression of my values given my character. Choosing to share my life through this blog was one such innovation. Adding BTS to my musical playlist and joining the BTS Army (fan club) was another. Becoming more disciplined in my eating is a revision. Donating to political campaigns and advocating for one candidate over another was another addition. I’ll soon be revising my daily life routines upon retirement. But while my internal battles have been fought and settled, the public character war is raging and the future of our nation and the world is at stake.

One of my basic values is to care about the quality of life that others lead. I want to alleviate unnecessary suffering among other human beings. Each of us makes a decision as to whether or not we will care about others and if we do, the extent to which we will contribute to the public welfare. I’ve seen people who have zero interest in the plight of other human beings and I’ve seen others who dedicate their entire life and livelihood to helping others. I’m in the middle. I stretch to lend a helping hand, but I’m not entirely selfless. When it comes to the environment, I see people who have dedicated their entire lives to protecting the environment and sounding the alarm to warn us about the damage we are doing. I listen to the alarms and curb my behaviors. When it comes to public debates over social justice issues, I’m not one to organize a huge protest rally as I actually did in my youth, but today I might show up and I’ll definitely speak my mind to public officials and do my best to sway public opinion.

Right at this moment, we are in the midst of an election that will determine who we are as a nation and what we value. The human character traits that win this immediate war will impact the lives of women, people of color, LGBTQ people, immigrants, the elderly, children and the environment. We are at war to determine whether or not decent character and corruption matter. We are at war to determine whether we live in a representative government or a tyrannical government. We are at war to determine whether some human lives matter more than others.

As a soldier in this war, I’ve chosen to use my voice on social media to persuade others to use their voice, their talents, and their vote to fight for social justice, public health, environmental protections, and the preservation of our representative government. I’ve chosen to give financially to the presidential and senate campaigns to help win this election. This pandemic and this election season have highlighted how important governors actually are, so I’ll become more active in those future fights. And of course, I’ve chosen to vote and I encourage others to vote as well.

Our collective future is in our collective hands. Will we be a nation of humans who do good for ourselves and others while preserving the environment or will be a nation that allows individual greed and selfish acts to harm and destroy the lives of the vulnerable while ignoring the environment and climate change? The choice is ours to decide on election day and beyond.

Although Republican leaders will not openly admit it, their actions, inactions, and policies clearly indicate their belief that some American lives are expendable. While pretending to fight tooth and nail for the unborn, they knowingly and willingly trample upon the well-being of many already born whom they view as weak. Their tacit underlying worldview is for the survival of the fittest. So while they ruthlessly enact policies that strangle the vulnerable, they brazenly embark on voter suppression to prevent the expendables from voting them out of office. They deceive evangelicals into voting “pro life” when in reality they are actually supporting “pro-fittest” and anti-woman policies. Amazingly, these evangelicals have adopted views that are the exact opposite of Jesus’ teachings. I view Trump and the Republican leadership’s policies and actions as a form of legal oppression if not outright genocide. So, who are the expendables?

At the top of the list of expendables are the poor and uneducated, the majority of whom happen to be people of color still burdened by the consequences of past in present discrimination as well as current discrimination. Of course, Republicans refuse to acknowledge that giving white people a huge social economic advantage through opportunities and benefits open only to whites for most of American history has had any negative affect on the economic prospects of the average person of color. This is why they strive to severely restrict or eliminate affirmative action, labeling it as “reverse discrimination”. Even now, black and brown people who “make it” in this country have to be exceptionally strong, talented, intelligent, resilient, adaptable, and lucky. If you’re a person of color, average is not now, nor has it ever been, good enough and you are expendable. Republicans strive to keep the status quo where the lives of poor uneducated people of color remain subject to excessive policing and brutality, poverty driven crime (the theft of the desperate), environmental toxins, poor diets, almost non-existent preventative healthcare, substandard education, exploitive employers and predatory lenders.

Another group of expendables are the sick and elderly. It has been evident for several years that the Republicans are doing very little to ensure access to affordable healthcare, social security, Medicare, mental health resources, and with this pandemic, they are failing to safeguard the lives of the sick and elderly. It is not surprising that the deaths from this pandemic are heavily concentrated among the elderly as well as poor black and brown people. The Administration is encouraging a kind of herd immunity that will cost an enormous loss of life among the elderly and those with compromised immune systems. Poor black and brown people have more underlying medical conditions that are directly associated with their poverty. Their campaign of disinformation is working to speed the spread of the disease among these populations, making healthy gullible people agents of death among their family members.

I met such a person in Smart and Final on Friday afternoon. I’m grateful that masks are required to work and shop there and they adhere to strict social distancing. However, a comment I made to the twenty-something Latina who checked me out, made it clear that disinformation was spreading. She called the pandemic a hoax or at least not as bad as they were making it out to be. I commented, “Tell that to the thousands who are now dead” and left. This young woman is likely lax in her personal life and will endanger the life of her parents, grandparents, and other vulnerable family members.

Another group of expendables are people whom the Republicans deem as undesirables. These include homosexuals, drug addicts, people with disabilities, undocumented immigrants from “shit hole countries” and minority law breakers. They are happy to restrict the movement, rights, and access to opportunities for these individuals in order to feed their sense of safety, exceptionalism, job security, and false moral superiority.

In my opinion, the only people who should be behind bars are violent criminals. This includes pediphiles, rapists, armed robbers, and people convicted of assault or murder. All others should pay fines, pay restitution, get treatment, or do community service. The current system disproportionately locks up people of color, the mentally fragile, and the poor. It’s not that they are committing some crimes in greater numbers, but that they are targeted for arrest. And it has become clear that they receive harsher sentences for the same crime as their more valued counterparts. The current system benefits for-profit prisons and provides a false sense of security to white Americans while devastating the families, livelihoods, and lives of expendable people. The suicide rates among homosexuals grows as they are ostracized and discriminated against while homicides among transgender women of color soars unchecked. Republicans limited access to affordable rehab for poor drug addicts and adequate care for people with disabilities. The result is an early grave for both groups. And when Republicans dehumanize undocumented immigrants, children get locked in cages and separated from their parents. They build a wall and enact stricter immigration policies that ignore the desperate seeking refuge from danger as any human being would do.

The final group of expendables are the ignorant and the gullible. It is no surprise that Trump rallies are filled with conspiracy theorist and the uneducated. If these people who refuse to wear masks or social distance themselves don’t get sick and die, it is inevitable that people around them will. And since birds of a feather tend to flock together, Trump and the Republicans will be able to wipe out a whole segment of lower class people for whom blue collar jobs are disappearing anyway. The farmers, coal workers, and hourly workers who flock to his rallies are being lead as lambs to the slaughter because they, too are expendable. He may need them for the election, but he doesn’t need them to drive up his unemployment numbers or the number of welfare recipients. Many of his most avid supporters are evangelicals who have forgotten their basic Sunday School lessons such as “love thy neighbor as thyself” and giving to the needy and protecting the stranger. Having lost their way and given their vote to Republicans, they are blindly committing a form of suicide and homicide to pave the way for wealthier, smarter, and healthier Americans to survive without being burdened by them.

Admittedly, the assertion that Republicans view many of their fellow Americans as expendable sounds kind of cynical. But when I look at their rhetoric, policies, and the decisions that are being made on a daily basis, no other explanation makes sense to me.

We were never promised an easy, carefree life. Part of being human is facing challenges, winning some and losing others. I recall how “The Wide World of Sports” broadcast always began with “the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.” I’m reminded of the lyrics to a 1971 song: “I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden. Along with the sunshine, there’s gotta be a little rain some time”. That’s where I find myself today, tasting the victory alongside the defeat.

The victory is in the God given skills of the surgeon who operated on my husband, successfully removing the upper section of his lung. Yes, he has lung cancer. However, the prognosis is good despite the lengthy treatment and recovery time we are about to embark on. We were afraid he might lose his entire right lung. We were afraid the cancer had spread to other parts of his body. We are lucky that neither of these things happened. I don’t want to say we are blessed because I believe God gives us the strength to deal with the problems that befall us; but that He doesn’t necessarily keep us from experiencing the problems and the outcome isn’t always ideal in our eyes. The blessing is in the grace and strength He provides whatever the outcome. I think about the battle my mother lost to breast cancer at only 57 years old. Countless others have fought this battle and lost at even younger ages. Even in the midst of that dark time, I felt God’s grace and strength in me. The same is true now.

In the coming months, I believe we as a nation will continue to experience hardships as this virus infects more people, political unrests expands, and financial distress engulfs us all. Like the surgeon, we need to put to use the tools and skills at our disposal to fight the good fight on all these fronts. We’re going to have to insist that we and those around us wear masks, practice social distancing, wash our hands, and clean surfaces. We’re going to have to ensure that the people we know have the means to drop off their ballots or make it to the polls to vote in person. For the moment, protest marchers need to put aside their sneakers to volunteer at the polls in place of older folks who have bowed out this year. Those of us who are able, need to give more generously to food banks and other relief efforts as the needy among us grows. We need to continue to insist on social justice, lending our creative talents and intelligent voices to the cause. We need to get serious about pushing government and corporate leaders to switch to renewable energy to ward off life-threatening climate change. And finally, we need to be forceful in our opposition to the few white supremacist who are aching to start a civil war.

Trouble is all around us. Indeed, these are turbulent times with many life-threatening challenges. But like the surgeon who operated on my husband, we have the tools and the ability at our fingertips to face them. The question is do we have the collective wisdom to use what we have or will we simply go down without a fight. Whether we win or lose, I know God will be gracious in our sorrow.

What a week! I’ve always seen life at any given moment as a mixed bag of things happening that are good and others that are pretty bad. That’s normal and expected when you live on this planet. But right now, at this moment, I feel like my bag is filled with more bad than good. Without going into details, I’ll just say that I’m dealing with my husband’s life-threatening illness, my daughter’s mental health, finance related changes at work that changed both work conditions and benefits, bad air quality, the pandemic, the white supremacy/racism conflict, and a consequential presidential election. To say that I am emotionally overwhelmed is an understatement. As a person with stress-related ulcers, asthma, high blood pressure and kidney disease, I’m not feeling well. But there are a few bright spots that have become my happy place to rest.

Beyond feeling the love of God and the inner peace that I will eventually get through all this that comes from my faith in Him, I am thankful for my family and friends. They are a loving and supportive group. I am especially grateful for my eldest daughter and her husband who have stepped up to emotionally support me and to provide actual help with my daughter struggling with mental health. I have an aunt who is a long time nurse, who is providing advice and a girlfriend who keeps checking on me. My boss has been supportive, too, encouraging me to take care of myself and my family. I’ve rarely taken a sick day, but that is about to change.

I am also finding a happy place listening to the music and watching the performance of BTS. I don’t understand how seven young men from South Korea can provide a respite from the chaos that surrounds me, but they do. They make me smile and give me energy. Their performances improve my mood and add to my well-being. I think it is the combination of music, dancing, and aesthetics working together that touches me. Their message is uplifting, their music is really good, their choreography and swag is amazing, and their staging and outfits are always so pleasing to the eyes. I have been so moved by them that for the first time in my life I took the time to write a fan letter to each member to let each one know how much I appreciate their individual contributions to the group. I found the address to mail fan letters and then mailed them. I heard that RM, one of the members, actually carries fan letters around with him. Of course, mine will have to be translated for most of the members, but I hope they feel my appreciation and are encouraged to keep working hard at their craft. I know I’m not alone in this sentiment. With songs like Dynamite and Stay Gold, specifically released to boost the spirits of their worldwide audience during this pandemic, they have gained my admiration and appreciation to an even greater extent.

Times are tough and right now I am trying to reserve my energy and protect my health for the fights in front of me. It means that I’m doing less outside my home and work. It means that I’m taking on fewer projects and temporarily stepping away from groups and organizations I love. My priorities right now are my husband, my daughter, my students, the November election, and of course, my own health. This is all the capacity I have right now. I covet prayers and well-wishes. And as always, I am optimistic that the bag will eventually shift from mostly bad to mostly good.