Month: November 2020

Humans are social beings. And so this pandemic is wrecking havoc on the mental health of many who are prudently foregoing in person social gatherings with family and friends. Admittedly some people are definitely more social than others and need a constant diet of intimate human contact to feel good. Personality experts say that extroverts gain energy from human interaction while introverts like me, are actually drained by too much interaction. Being alone for most of the time since my husband got sick hasn’t caused me much distress. I was alone in the house, but not at all lonely. It’s enough for me to text or talk to loved ones on the phone, to have Zoom meetings for work, and to grocery shop, chit chatting for a few seconds with the clerk. Even the prospect of spending Thanksgiving alone because my husband was still in the hospital and our family decided not to gather because of COVID-19 didn’t bother me. I easily assured my extroverted children that I was just fine. They saw my situation as sad while I saw it as an opportunity to decorate the house for Christmas a few days early.

However, while happily putting up Christmas decorations, I was interrupted when my husband called at around 1pm on Thanksgiving to announce that he was being released from the hospital. I thought it was strange that just the day before his doctor said he was moving in the right direction but that it would take a few more days before he would be released. I didn’t question it, thinking he had made a faster than expected recovery. So, with two chest tubes still in place and pages of instructions for care along with a ton of medical supplies, I drove him home from the hospital feeling anxious because I have no medical training. Sure enough, once we got home, my husband confessed to insisting upon his release. He said he was feeling depressed being in the hospital on Thanksgiving and wanted to come home. So, they allowed it.

The human drive for warmth and interaction among loved ones is strong and can drive poor decision making. The need is stronger than rational thought and we saw this play out during the Thanksgiving travel season when many Americans decided to have Thanksgiving among family and friends despite the risk. As I drove past my neighbors houses to go pick up my husband, I noticed three houses with quite a few additional cars parked along the street. I was shocked to discover that even my next door neighbors, a retired couple, left for the Thanksgiving holiday. Their need to see their grandchildren was likely the pull they couldn’t resist. And I soon discovered that my own husband’s emotional need muted his rationality.

I heard a healthcare professional warn in a television interview that having a Thanksgiving gathering could mean fewer family members will see Christmas and that there will be family members missing next Thanksgiving. Yet people still boarded planes and drove in cars to gather anyway. The problem isn’t just the people who think the virus is a hoax, although they are definitely the most dangerous, but it is also among the rational who understand that this virus is deadly, but are setting aside the risk. I watched an interview of a family getting a COVID-19 test prior to driving to gather for Thanksgiving with extended family. I guess that is better than nothing. But we all know that you can test negative today and be positive tomorrow. I wondered if they were planning to quarantine from the test until they reach their family. And what about the others at the gathering? I can guarantee my behavior, but not any one else’s. Time will reveal any consequences from these emotional decisions. I’m prayerful that it was worth the temporary emotional boost so many needed and that everyone will be around for Christmas.

But for us, Christmas will be similar to Thanksgiving with no gathering. And we made a few additional adjustments from last year. We acknowledged that while we still have incomes, many do not. We collectively decided not to exchange gifts, but to instead donate to food banks and contribute to toy drives. I did my Black Friday thing and purchased toys to give away. I put up the artificial tree in the family room, but we won’t get a real one this year for the living room and my decorations are a fraction of what I usually do. Perhaps my daughters will cook as they did for Thanksgiving and drop off meals to family members. That was such a thoughtful thing for them to do. It was great to open the door and see my daughter at the end of the walkway and a bag of Thanksgiving fixings at the door. The food was delicious.

As for my husband’s emotional decision to leave the hospital, there were consequences. Saturday morning we had to return to the hospital for a problem with the drainage tubes that we couldn’t resolve. My husband was certain they were going to re-admit him. However, the physician’s assistant took care of the problem and thankfully my husband didn’t have to stay. Because of COVID-19, the beds are few and with his lung issues, he is safer at home.

My hope is that things will get back to normal after this vaccine is widely distributed. If 75% of us get vaccinated, then next year, Thanksgiving and Christmas will be all the more wonderful without the threat of illness. My son and his wife are making plans to visit us next Christmas with their first born, a baby boy who is expected to arrive in April 2021. We’re planning to have a big family gathering in Las Vegas. So, my fingers are crossed that enough Americans will be vaccinated to make our 2021 Christmas gathering a reality.

It occurs to me that the need to gather socially is part of being human, but what makes us mature human beings is the ability make rational decisions and to delay emotional gratification. During this pandemic, introverts clearly have a natural advantage while extroverts will have to dig deep to muster all the maturity and resilience they can in order to survive and to protect those they love.

Happy holidays and stay safe.

I think I first heard the term, “Let the buyer beware” in a college marketing class. At the time I didn’t interpret that to mean that marketers had the right to knowingly and unabashedly misrepresent themselves or their goods or services to convince people to buy. Nor did I think that it was the sole responsibility of the consumer to discern between true and false claims in order to protect themselves. Perhaps I was foolish to assume that there were reasonable guard rails, protecting the public against being scammed by con artists on a daily basis. Well, of course I was foolish to believe this. I watch in horror as Donald Trump is tries to scam the entire nation out it its democracy and rule of law. In addition, every time we pick up a phone from an unknown number we run the risk of being scammed. I was taken in just this week by a phone call from someone claiming to be from Apple Support.

Being the victim of one of these scams this week taught me a few important lessons. First among these lessons is that the scammers are looking for an opening or a vulnerability. I don’t usually answer calls from unrecognized phone numbers. But because my husband is in the hospital, I’m getting calls from doctors and nurses and physical therapist and pharmacies. These numbers are all unrecognizable to me, but I don’t want to miss out on a call. So, when my cell phone rang and the number wasn’t flagged as a scam, I answered it.

The man identified himself as being from Apple Support and said that he was calling because they noticed suspicious activity on my I-cloud account coming from New York and South Carolina. I was receptive to the idea because just before my husband went into the hospital he was working with a tech support person because his computer had been hacked. I was ripe to be victimized. I was in a vulnerable position mentally and that provided the scammer with an opening.

Long story short, after two hours, it finally occurred to me that this was a scam. What saved me was a block I had long ago placed on my credit card account that ensured that I have to call the bank prior to making large purchases. Thank goodness because that phone call to the bank confirmed my growing suspicion that this was in fact a scam. They had cleverly gotten me to purchase a $500 gift card from the Apple app store by making myself the recipient with the understanding that Apple would refund me the entire amount within minutes. The $500 was to purchase a security key to encrypt my IP address. I questioned the “tech” person about the weird process for several minutes before finally giving in. But then two things happened that made me doubtful. First, was when she asked for the authentication code on the gift card. I refused to give it. She said okay and then supposedly needed a second $500 gift card to get another key because the first wasn’t enough to clear up my “big problem”. Having seen the refund in my email from Apple Support, I tried but failed to purchase a second gift card because of my self-imposed credit card purchasing limit.

It wasn’t until I was on my landline phone with my bank when the bank representative acknowledged that they saw the pending charge for $500 but that they did not see any pending refund. I then noticed that the email address used for this Apple Support refund was in fact from a Gmail account. Why would Apple use Gmail? The banker confirmed that this was a scam. When I told the tech person that this was a scam, she said the bank call I made from my landline was to one of the scammers. I hung up on her.

I spent the next couple of hours cleaning up my computer, changing all my passwords, and calling Apple Support where I learned that the scammer had already cashed in the $500 gift card without my even providing the authentication code. Apple apparently has a whole fraud department designed to go after these folks. I gave her the phone number (which was from the same area as the real Apple Support) and the email address used for the bogus refund. She would give this information to the Apple fraud team. She then told me that these people have gotten very sophisticated in their schemes but that they always leave a footprint. Apparently they are able to steal authentication codes when people purchase gift cards at retail outlets, including the Apple Store itself, and the money is gone before the customer even reaches home. Thankfully, I am not responsible for the $500. She provided me a case number to provide my bank for the credit card dispute.

The other lesson I learned is that having safeguards around your credit card account such as spending limits and disallowing new credit cards to be opened in your name without you calling in are necessary. Every security setting possible on each bank or investment account is a must, too. And changing passwords frequently helps to secure accounts. When traveling, always letting the credit card company know where you and for how long is also a good safeguard.

So, when it comes to being scammed, I have compassion for people who get sucked into a bunch of false claims. Liars and marketers hone their skills to overcome your objections. They fabricate credentials and narratives that seem plausible. And people who are ripe to be deceived because of their underlying fears of being hacked, robbed, or taken over by communism and socialism or minorities are inclined to buy into the lies. It’s frightening to hear that 75 percent of Trump voters believe the election was fraudulent. This fears made it possible for once respected former major and attorney Rudy Giuliani to boldly stand in front of the entire nation this past week and make a boatload of false and completely unsubstantiated claims about the presidential election. I’m hopeful that those individuals will come to their senses (as I did) as they digest the truth as court cases are thrown out and election officials keep expose the false claims.

I’m actually nervous and a bit sad today to realize that what I learned in that marketing class so many years ago is more true today than it was back in the 1970’s: ” Let the buyer beware”. There are plenty of corrupt and depraved individuals out there actively trying to steal our money and now we have a president name Donald Trump and his team actively trying to steal our democracy. Beware!

My husband is recovering from his second bout of cancer. This time he is recovering from lung cancer wherein a section of his upper right lung was removed. He is back in the hospital for the third time since his surgery because of an infection this time. The prognosis is good and I’m thankful that we paid attention to the danger signs, sought help, and listened to the medical professionals. We didn’t engage in wishful thinking, denying the symptoms that indicated the existence of a problem. We recognized a problem and chose to follow the advice of the medical experts. It came down to trust. While medical professionals don’t know everything, they certainly know more we do when it comes to the treating the human body. We trust them to do the things they have been trained to do to our benefit. And just because their outcomes are not 100% positive does not mean that we shouldn’t place his treatment in their hands. The same is true in this country when it comes to COVID-19 and elections.

What we have in this country today is an epidemic of mistrust in credible sources in government, science, and journalism. It is frightening to realize that many people have stopped listening to knowledgeable voices in favor of following their own mythical beliefs, conspiracy theories, fabrications, and fake news. When did educated, experienced public servants become the enemy of the people? When did Democrats become the only people willing and capable of casting fraudulent votes? Recent history has shown us that Republicans are more likely to suppress the vote, cheat, and intimidate voters in the opposing party when it comes to elections. So, why is it that every Trump supporter who claims that they saw a few ballots in the trash automatically assume they were votes for Trump? Or why do they assume that all the “dead” people who voted, voted for Biden? Why do they refuse to acknowledge the fact that election officials are from both parties and that poll watchers were also from both parties? Why won’t they be reasonable and acknowledge that there aren’t nearly enough “fraudulent” votes out there to overturn the election results? Why would they insist upon overturning the will of the majority? Biden won by over 5 million votes in the popular vote. And his margin of votes in battleground states is high enough that a recount won’t change the results. Why would they want the Supreme Court to disenfranchise voters who followed the election laws in their state and wisely chose to vote by mail during a pandemic? And why did they take to the streets yesterday and the to airways on C-Spann this morning screaming that the election was stolen?

I’d say it is because many lack basic critical thinking skills, knowledge of civics, and common sense. I’d say that when we as educators let our guard down too soon after the Holocaust and stop teaching junior high and high school students how to know the difference between truth backed by factual data and emotion driven propaganda.

When we failed to teach critical thinking skills at the high school level, we paved the way for conservative talk radio hosts with a profit motive to lead many non-college educated Americans astray. And then a charismatic and bombastic television celebrity grabs the biggest microphone in the world and begins repeating the lies about a “deep state” that is out to destroy the hard-working “true Americans” to usher in socialism or communism. And those who felt disrespected because of their lack of education, their loss of blue collar jobs, and feel under threat by people of color, immigrants, non-Christians, and LGBTQ folks preferred to believe it when Trump told them that he knew more than the generals, that immigrants were the problem, and that trusted journalist and news outlets were “fake news”. Trump, Fox News, and conservative talk radio ushered in a whole new era of “alternative” facts placing the voices of the actual experts into question. It’s obvious that there is a problem when your trusted source is a proven liar, draft and tax evader, sex offender, and business fraud. How is a person with this kind of character capable of “Making America Great Again”. Look at how great he has made the people around him?

It’s all so baffling. But then I watched the Netflix dramatized documentary, “The Social Dilemma” this past week and it helped me further understand how we have become so divided and how misinformation has so infected our public discourse to the point that we can hardly even talk to each other. My posts on Facebook or Instagram are only seen by people who agree with me. I don’t see the posts on Facebook or Instagram or Tic Tok of Trump supporters. I only see what Trump supporters are thinking when I watch CNN or C-Spann. I starting following some Republican senators on Twitter to hear what they were saying. And when I listen to them, I scratch my head in dismay. But now I know why they think the way they do. The senators are afraid of Trump because his followers, like me, are trapped in the social media algorithm. Recognizing this, I’ve been asking my friends with more mixed friends to share some of my posts in hopes of expanding a different viewpoint. Many of them say they are afraid to do that for fear of backlash from their Trump supporter friends and relatives. And there seems to be a friendship and family purge going on as well which is all the more scary.

When rational human beings are operating from a different set of facts they wiIl naturally draw different conclusions about the best course of action. Because their news source and these social media platforms and search engines have algorithms built to show more of what the user seems to like or be interested in, the user enters into a bubble where her likes and thoughts and ideas become reinforced rather than challenged or even expanded. It was scary to watch “The Social Dilemma”, but it helped me understand how people get sucked into believing that vaccines are dangerous, that Democrats are socialists who want to take away freedom, or that Hillary Clinton was running a pedophile ring out of a pizza parlor. It is how largely peaceful protests are characterized as violent mobs in need of military intervention. It is how Trump supporters truly believe that the election was stolen.

As an educator, I call upon other educators and parents to return to teaching our next generation how to consume information. We have to teach students what credible sources actually are and how journalism and science actually work. We have to teach the difference between truth that is backed by factual evidence and mere opinion. We have to teach that not every assertion made by a loud individual is a fact and that there are immoral people who lie for profit or personal gain. We have to teach them to dismiss the person who claims to be “in the know” but has no credible evidence to back up their claims. And most of all, we have to be willing to teach the unhappy truth that propaganda can have life and death consequences. There is a way out of the misinformation trap we have found ourselves in. And that road is a rejection of algorithms that trap us in a bubble and the education of our children.

I was hoping for, and even expecting, a decisive victory for Biden and a flip of the Senate as an indictment on the past four years under Donald Trump and the blatant hypocrisy of the Senate. But that wasn’t what happened. This has been a nail biter, causing anxiety and anger across the nation. No one is happy and we still face a runoff for the Senate seats in Georgia that will determine the majority. Trump supporters are crying foul and threatening violence while Biden supporters are shaking their heads in dismay. It is clear to me that we are living in a nation divided. And not all that division is based on reality, but baseless Trump rhetoric. After listening to different voices, I realize that not many people actually like Trump as a person. Most acknowledge that he is not a decent or even moral human being. But he and his policies stand for a way of life in America that his supporters want to protect.

I must first confess that I live in a progressive bubble. I work among academics who are largely liberal. I socialize among college-educated progressives. My family members are educated, liberal, and largely Christian. Because of the algorithms built into social media platforms, my social media “friends” are largely progressives, too. I avoid conservative media like Fox News and conservative radio talk shows. The only time I really hear conservative voices is on CNN and C-Span. Even in those rare moments, I wonder how people could view the world so differently from me. My mouth falls open in dismay when I hear people repeat the baseless falsehoods by Trump as if they were the complete rational truth. We know that they, too, live in a bubble where the lies are reinforced from every direction. So, they probably look at me with the same level of dismay.

I’ve also come to realize is that Trump supporters are terrified of change. They are afraid of diversity and inclusion because it means embracing differences and sharing power. If there is too much difference, they are afraid that their values, their traditions, their jobs, their decisions, their religion, and their privilege will all be challenged. They are afraid that they will no longer be able to force their will and their ways on others. They are afraid that they will be held accountable for their discrimination against women, people of color, immigrants, people with disabilities, and LGBTQ people. They like their jobs in oil and coal because they have grown accustomed to these industries and are uncomfortable with the notion of having to learn new skills. So, they willingly deny the science behind climate change based on a combination of their religion and their ignorance of science. They feel threatened by the thought that they’re losing jobs to people from other parts of the world, so they shut down trade deals and immigration. They are afraid of the kind of democratic socialism that will actually improve their lives because they literally lack the intellectual curiosity to learn about it. They think are told to think of Cuba and Venezuela instead of Canada or Finland when they consider democratic socialism that will provide them with affordable healthcare and higher education.

Trump voters simply do not want to change. They are stuck in the comfort and simplicity of the past where sex was only male or female, where men were in charge, where marriage was only between a man and a woman, and where minorities were discriminated against so that they could have an advantage in just about every facet of American life. They are stuck in the notion that sexual harassment, unwanted pregnancies, and even rape are the responsibility of wanton females because “men are just being men”. Donald Trump represents the ability cling to this kind of past. Many of his supporters say it is about being “pro-life” but I doubt it because they have willingly and knowingly thrown away the lives of Americans by refusing to wear masks in public, by allowing babies to be separated from their parents, and by allowing millions to die because they can’t afford healthcare. So, no, it’s not about abortion and being pro-life. Any Trump supporter who tells you this is lying to themselves and to you. It’s about their emotionally driven fear of losing power and privilege afforded to straight white people. They feel threatened and were willing to stand behind a totalitarian bully who promised to defend them.

Now that we have finally thrown the fear-monger in chief out of our White House, we have work to do to first secure a majority in the Senate and second, to bring these people along both intellectually and emotionally. At the moment, they are fearful and furious and itching for a fight. But Jesus gave us the answer. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Let’s be good to our neighbors, especially those who supported Trump. Let’s prove by our words and actions that inclusion is better than exclusion. Let’s prove that clean water and air and clean jobs are better than pollution. Let’s prove that good public health policies and expanded healthcare benefits us all. Let’s prove that economic growth lies in the expansion of health, education, and welfare and not in denying immigration, good education, and food stamps to poor people. Let’s prove that voter suppression and intimidation have no place in the U.S. and that reasonable visions and arguments should win the vote.

It won’t be easy, but I’m convinced that we can succeed if we take the same level of energy, creativity, and funding from this election and funnel them into winning the senate and then into campaign to win the hearts and minds of half the country based on legitimate science, compassion, reason, information, and evidence. All those red states that voted overwhelmingly for Trump need to be the target of campaigns for inclusion, public health, American history, government, patriotism, and climate science.

If we don’t start winning the hearts and minds of Trump Americans, we’re likely to find ourselves in the same awful place in four short years.

A former colleague wrote in his Facebook post that he was preparing himself to be forgiving after the election. From what I know about him, he is not a fan of President Trump and is likely voting for Biden. But he senses the need to be prepared to forgive. It was then that I realized that I don’t have any people within my circle of close friends or family whom I will need to forgive after November 3rd. However, I know this isn’t true for everyone I’m associated with.

Over the past few months, I’ve listened to family members, colleagues, and friends struggling with their frustration with people in their lives who stubbornly support Trump. I sympathize with them. It can’t be easy to watch someone whom you know and care about be taken in by a con man who absolutely doesn’t have the nation or their best interest at heart. It’s even more disturbing to see Trump supporters you know taking part in voter intimidation on the highways, through threatening notes and emails, and unauthorized poll watching. It’s uncomfortable to see a side of people giving place to cruelty, bigotry, and nastiness for the sake of anti-abortion, anti-immigrant, racist, and anti-LGBTQ judges and a promised tax cut. It’s infuriating to watch people blindly believe a truckload of lies to boot.

One of the common arguments for supporting Trump is a visceral fear of socialism. Because Trump supporters are largely uneducated, they bought into the fear tactic that leftwing Democrats are promoting the kind of socialism found in Cuba or Venezuela and not that which is found in places like Canada, Norway, Sweden, Demark, Finland, Australia, Japan, and Great Britain, a democratic socialism. In part, I blame us Democrats for not doing a better job educating these folks. Perhaps we’ve been too impatient with their ignorance or too lazy to bother with them or too condescending to believe they could grasp the concept. In any case, we were short-sighted because we forgot that they too, get to cast a vote.

Whomever wins this election, it is evident that we as a nation have some serious work ahead of us. First of course is convincing folks to do what is needed to end this pandemic while also avoiding the threat of post-election violence that seems to be looming in the air. There will likely be another period of shut down because of both.

Second, among our collective work is to end all the ridiculous laws that allowed for voter suppression and enforcement of voter intimidation laws. Every state and county needs to pass local laws that make voting easier and safer. Politicians must be forced to make the case to the voters for why they deserve election instead of making it difficult for people to vote. Post-marks, not post office delivery times should determine if a vote counts. And then ensuring the integrity of our elections is the job of the federal government. Our tax payer dollars would be well spent to ensure that every municipality’s voting machines and databases are secure. In addition, there should be a federal law that makes election day a paid holiday and another law that mandates the number of polling places and/or drop boxes per capita so that people in poorer neighborhoods don’t have to wait in longer lines or travel greater distances to a drop box. This is job number two.

Our third job after this election is to hold whomever is president and the Congress accountable. We will need to make our voices loud and clear about the kind of government and leadership we demand. No more corruption. No more lies. No more fleecing the American people.

And finally, after this election, we must take responsibility for our own welfare and that of our country by doing what we know to be good and right as individuals, communities, and a nation. The right thing to do is to patiently and lovingly educate our fellow Americans about our nation’s history, it’s representative form of government, it’s economics, and the environment. We must teach science and history in a way that helps individuals understand and gain an appropriate level of respect for it.

The last four years have taught us that we cannot depend on political leaders to protect us, serve us, or to do what is in our collective best interest as a nation. This election has also taught us that we have done a poor job of educating our population about history, government, economic systems, and how to think critically, to be proper consumers of media, and to understand science. Forgiveness is good, but a proper education moving forward is even more critical.