It’s in my nature to worry. No matter how hard I try to stop myself, worry creeps in. I was worried that my daughter in law looked too thin during her last trimester of pregnancy. I was worried when the baby dropped into position at 34 weeks. I was worried when the mucus plug discharged at 35 weeks and at 36 weeks, my grandson made a rapid appearance after only 3 hours of labor on March 19th. His original due date was April 16th.
He weighed in at 5lbs 4oz and was 17 1/2 inches long. He was given oxygen for a few hours and glucose. His spent his first hours of life in the NICU at John Hopkin’s where ironically his mother interned in pediatrics. He is now out of the NICU and he seems to be thriving. My daughter in law will begin work at Children’s Hospital in Philadelphia this July, as a NICU doctor. So, “Baby James” Edward Pryor, is in excellent hands. I keep reminding myself that things will be fine, although I only slept three hours last night and kept checking my phone.
I’m excited about this precious addition to our family and can’t wait until the worst of this pandemic is over so that I can go visit them. I’ll get my second dose of the Maderna vaccine this week and as healthcare workers, they have already been vaccinated. I’m thankful that technology allows me to see and hear them through my cell phone in real time. I laughed when the baby perked up upon hearing my voice. And it was nice to be “present” for the nurse visit as they talked about his progress and impending circumcision this morning.
My grandson is mixed race. I care deeply about the country he is being born into. Since 2016, many people feel they have permission to put their selfishness, bigoty, misogyny, xenophobia, and racism on full display. It’s been awful and dangerous. How many lives could have been spared if people wore masks and kept their distance? And this week, misplaced anxiety resulted in the murder of eight innocent lives, six of whom were Asian American women. I want a better country for my grandson and everyone else. We deserve better. But it is on each of us to make this country better.
I’ll conclude with a poem I wrote in response to a hate incident on the university campus where I work several years ago. I put the words on t-shirts and handed them out to our campus community. Here is the poem:
Choose to be your better self…
The person you want to see in the mirror
The person who reaches past the multi-cultured, multi-colored human shell to touch the impoverished soul of humanity
The person who first challenges his own prejudices, biases, and discrimination and then challenges others
The person who disrupts exploitation, injustice, oppression, poverty, and violence
The person who pursues peace, forgiving, giving, and living
The person you want to see in the mirror
Your better self
My grandson will leave the comfort and safety of the hospital today or tomorrow. I’m praying that a better world will greet him.
