Another Big Rule for Retirement

Last week I unveiled the 7-8 hours of sleep rule, the eat well and less rule, and the minimum of 150 hours per week of exercise rule as three of my rules for retirement. I’ve been trying to establish these rules as habits by paying attention and self-parenting. I have to admit that the last two nights, I had to tell myself that it was bedtime at 9pm. It felt strange, but I complied with my voice of discipline. Eating right is proving to be the greatest challenge. I’ll eat the good stuff with no problem. My problem is lacking discipline to refuse the bad stuff, especially when my husband lays the bad stuff right in front of me. I feel like I need to ban his trips to Costco and the grocery store. Perhaps when I retire, I will simply accompany him there to provide “adult” supervision.

Rule number four comes directly from Dr. Gupta’s book, “Keep Sharp”, on brain health. In the book, Dr. Gupta goes into great detail about the need to stay actively engaged in learning and socializing. He makes the argument for staying employed as a means of fulfilling both of these brain requirements as well as maintaining a sense of purpose. I thought about changing my mind about retirement for about 30 seconds before deciding that I really do want to retire from my current job.

I’ve spent the last several months really contemplating how I want to spend my time and energy. Sitting around watching television all day is literally a death sentence to both the brain and the body. However, the freedom to direct my brain and body to pursue the things my job hasn’t allowed time for feels really good. As I’ve aged, I’ve noticed a decline in my physical energy. I’m no longer the energizer bunny I was in my twenties, thirties, forties, and even fifties when I could come home from a full day of work, excited to take on the house, kids, friends, church, classes, community, teaching, and hobbies. I look back at my former self and wonder how I did all that. In those days, I couldn’t even imagine retiring. But as my energy began to wane both physically and even mentally, I noticed that my life was consumed with work demands and that I had very little energy for anything else. For the first time, I learned what it meant to be physically tired and mentally drained at the end of a work day. I didn’t want to see anyone or do anything after work because I was exhausted. The weekends became a way to recharge for another demanding work week.

So, retirement comes as a welcome relief that will allow me to channel my current energy level into the people and activities I actually care most about. I care most about my family and friends, but over the last few years, I realize that too much of my physical, emotional and mental energy has been channeled into my University and it’s students whose needs have grown. I find myself digging deep into my reserves to meet the needs of my husband and kids, often ignoring extended family and friends just to survive. In retirement, family and friends can once again emerge as the primary beneficiaries of the best I have to offer in love, laughter, kindness, and support. I’m excited to reconnect with extended family and friends more consistently and without having to apologize for presenting my exhausted self.

Retirement will also offer me the opportunity to pursue my current interests with renewed vigor and take on new interests as well. I have plans around children’s books that promote diversity, equity, and inclusion as a worthwhile human value. I will continue to knit and I’ll donate items to hospitals, perhaps the neo-natal ward where my daughter-in-law is a pediatrician. I will continue to garden because being outside nurturing flowers, fruits, and vegetables is not only incredibly rewarding, but good exercise. I will take drawing and painting classes and re-engage with learning Spanish. I will become more active with my sorority after taking a break for most of last year because I believe in service to all mankind. I am considering getting involved with political campaigns as I care deeply about who runs our country. And finally, I am considering the possibility of doing some more traveling, although the thought of another long flight is unappealing.

For me, retirement is the opportunity to reset my priorities to reflect the legacy I want to leave in this world. The rule to stay actively engaged in learning and socializing is a rule where compliance is easy.