When my mother passed away in 1994, I was amazed by the amount of stuff she had accumulated and that we had to weed through. Her closets were jammed packed with clothes and many other items, some of which she had never used. Her garage had items that had been stored untouched for years. She wasn’t a hoarder, but just the average person who was too busy to declutter.
I’m not a hoarder either, but I recognize that I have more clothes than I need, more household items than are necessary, more kitchenware than I use, and in general more stuff than I really want. And this remains an issue despite the six or seven trips we make to the Goodwill donation center every year. Beyond not wanting to leave a mess for my children to sort through, I reference the observation Dr. Gupta makes in his book, “Keep Sharp”, that clutter is bad for brain health as it disrupts clear and organized thinking. And I have found this to be true. However, beyond promoting clearer thinking, decluttering has other benefits, but the task isn’t as simple as it seems.
Those trips to Goodwill represent our elimination of the easy stuff such as the replacement of an old television with a newer version or the donation of pants that no longer fit. What’s more difficult are the items we purchased because we liked them, thought we needed them, or think we might need them in the future. I struggle with getting rid of the perfectly good sweater that fits well but that I haven’t worn for three years but might want to wear next winter. Will I regret donating such a sweater?
To help me with this conundrum, I enlisted the help of Marie Kondo’s book, “The Life-changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese art of decluttering and organizing”. From this book, I learned to take my time with decluttering and to get in touch with my actual feelings towards items like the sweater I didn’t wear for three years. Her question, “Does it spark joy?” was a breakthrough. The idea of what to “keep” as opposed to what to throw away was a different mindset that I embraced.
Through the book, I learned to approach each item of clothing and other items to determine if I really want the item because it “speaks to the heart”. Perhaps the item once sparked joy, but no longer does. Rather than feel guilty about discarding a perfectly good item, she says to thank the item for “giving me joy when I bought you”. Expressing that gratitude before saying goodbye to items that the rational me would keep but the intuitive me knows I no longer desire, is liberating.
So, I recently began my slow journey of deciding what to keep, drawer by drawer, shelf by shelf, closet by closet. It is really a slow and ongoing process. The one thing I did decide to do was to stop purchasing new stuff for now. I’m seriously reflecting on the lifestyle and fashion style that will suit the retired me. As I sort through clothes and household items, the truth of who I am today and what sparks joy and excitement in me is bound to emerge. That will reveal who the early retired me is.
I am excited that the process of decluttering is not a one time process, but an ongoing process that will help keep my mind sharp, provide that euphoric feeling of lightness, keep me in touch with who I am as a human being in the moment, and when I leave this earth will be less of a burden on my children.
As for the sweater, I did in fact thank it for the joy it brought me when I purchased it before gently placing it in the Goodwill donation bag.