Month: July 2021

As a human among other humans, I’ve always felt personally responsible for how good or bad things are in my community. And with that heartfelt conviction, I’ve dedicated time, finances, and energy to actively taking part to make things better. From an early age, I hated four things in particular: violence, needless human suffering, injustice, and eye sores.

I am thankful to have had a mother who convinced the eleven year old me that my thoughts, words, and actions mattered. My mother encouraged, empowered and enabled me to follow my passions in service to people. I have my church members to thank for allowing the pre-teen me to recite original poetry, share opinions, sing in the choir, and to write plays to be performed. I have my teachers to thank for supporting my school improvement projects that began in junior high and extended throughout high school. I have my work colleagues to thank for helping me launch a non-profit to help African American parents understand how to prepare their children for higher education. I have my sorority to thank for its ongoing mission to serve all mankind. I have my professors to thank for providing me with a love of learning, critical thinking skills, research skills, and strategic planning skills. And I have my husband and children to thank for allowing me to spread myself beyond the four walls of our home all these years.

I’ve come to appreciate the importance of our individual and collective efforts as citizens. I also came to understand the heartbreaking reality that we must fight as individuals and collectively for what is good. It was a difficult lesson to learn that there are other humans who strive to maintain the status quo because they either benefit from it or they genuinely fear change. Over the years, I’ve encountered the ignorant, the lazy, the fearful, the stubborn, and the downright evil human obstacles who stand in the way of improvement. These people convinced me of the strength in numbers approach. I came to understand that the power of one person, one leader, one voice, one example lies in the ability to influence others to join in the actions that will make a difference. But I also know that change begins within each individual. So, I’m a huge fan of Michael Jackson’s song, “Man in the mirror”. In the song, he sings, “I’m starting with the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his ways. And no message could’ve been any clearer. If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change.” That’s the starting point, but then you have to rally likeminded troops.

I want to make the world a better place! As I’ve been looking in the mirror these first weeks of retirement, I see changes I can make. The first is how I respond to people on social media. I’ve begun to make it a point weigh in a bit more, to affirm people more, share my experience with those facing difficulty, and to offer my perspective on issues of public importance such as dealing with this pandemic, white supremacy, and voting rights. Each morning, I’m taking a few minutes to engage. I want to do what my mother did for me by using my voice. So, I will encourage, empower and possibly enable likeminded citizens to improve their lives and the community.

The second change is my relationship with the environment. I’m trying to be even more conscience of my use of resources by turning off lights, recycling, saving water, limiting my beef consumption, and going paperless. I purchased a new iPad and an Apple pen to use with the $7.99 Goodnotes 5 app to eliminate my usual yellow pads and notebooks I’ve used for years. I already drive a Hybrid and combine errands. I share all this to encourage the changes we all need to make. However, I can and should do even more.

Beyond paying taxes, which I believe is a very basic responsibility of every citizen in order to support the common good, I revisited my charitable giving to ensure that the charities I contribute to are still in line with my values. In addition, I’m deciding right now whether to contribute to specific candidates or to the Democratic Party or perhaps to both. I’m happy to contribute to help ensure we get political leaders who are ethical, knowledgeable, strategic, and caring. Right now we have many political leaders who need to be replaced.

And finally, I will continue to write to elected officials and to vote in every election, both local and national elections. Elections have huge consequences and if we are not careful, we will wake up to greater human rights abuses, worsening public health, economic downturns, falling bridges, and environmental chaos in our country. In the coming months it will be important to fight for continued access to the ballot for every American and I will do my part to help ensure people are able to vote. At this point I’m uncertain what will be required of me, but as a person who cares deeply about justice and the environment, I will do what is necessary.

Our community belongs to us collectively and I’m happy to say that I haven’t changed my conviction that I have a part to play as an individual and together with others to have a positive impact on it. When I look in the mirror as a retired educator, I still see where the change has to start. And that is with me.

The philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche reportedly said, “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger”. When it comes to being an African American, I’ve often wondered if the many adversities we have faced beginning with surviving the middle passage from Africa to the U.S. in chains, naked, in unsanitary conditions, in the belly of a ship and then enduring slavery, Jim Crowe, lynching, segregation, a civil rights movement, and continuing covert discrimination have made those of us who have survived stronger than many are comfortable with.

I know as a young girl, my mother often reminded me that I had to be better and do better to receive half the recognition. And so I took what intellect and talent I had and worked it. It’s no wonder that at age 16, the doctor said my blood pressure was too high due to stress. I didn’t slow down, but found ways to work smarter. I’m no longer reluctant to admit that I was identified by the state as an intellectually gifted person, but I am sad that I have had to prove my intellect countless times and in multiple settings throughout the years. There was always the assumption that because of my skin color, I was less than I am. I’ve never taken pleasure in proving white people wrong because I recognize that most of those same white individuals will never grant me the status, recognition, or promotion that is warranted. And when the recognition is given, others oppose it, resent it, or minimize it. That has been my lifelong experience but I suppose not being beaten or hanged for displaying intellectual ability is progress.

As a nation, we’ve watched black athletes come to dominate in many sports when access is granted. Who would have guessed just twenty years ago that the best female gymnast of all time would be a black girl named Simone Biles? However, with the rising fame of black talent, we also witnessed the death threats to men like Jackie Robinson and Tiger Woods and the insults hurled at Venus and Serena Williams. White violent backlash to black excellence and prosperity has been the norm among insecure white folks. And our judicial system has turned a blind eye to it. I argue that our nation is not better for it. Today, we see the overly harsh and unfair treatment of sprinter Sha Carri Richardson that will prevent the fastest woman in the world from competing in the 2021 Olympics to bring home the gold for America.

The backlash to black excellence was again apparent with the ascendancy of Michelle and President Obama to the White House. As black athletes, entertainers, intellectuals, business people, and political leaders display their excellence, a few white people grow increasingly intimidated and insecure. They’re too insecure and fragile to face the history of racial discrimination evidenced by the 1619 Project or Critical Race Theory. I wonder how these folks handled the news that Zaila Avant-garde is the first black girl to win the Scripps National Spelling Bee in its nearly 100 year history? Do they stop to think that their white supremacist ancestors only have themselves to blame for this growing display of black excellence?

Given the historical mistreatment of black Americans, the survivors of such harsh treatment have no choice but to evolve to be more intelligent, creative, talented, energetic and resilient. According to evolution, only the fittest survive. And we are still evolving. With continued discrimination in nearly every aspect of American life, the least fit among us continue to die from poverty related ailments such as street violence, environmental hazards, poor diets, stress, lacking healthcare, and now COVID-19. Only the luckiest and most fit black people are surviving and their very public ascendancy poses a threat to the notion of white supremacy. Perhaps this is why too many white people chose racist strong man, Donald Trump, to lead them.

These insecure white supremacist know that in terms of character, grace, intelligence, and integrity that Donald J. Trump can’t hold a candle to Barack Obama. And yet, they embraced the morally and intellectually inferior white guy because they believe he will protect their tenuous position of economic and political power. These white bigots are afraid of black excellence and they are even more afraid of Jewish excellence. Could it be that adversity has also made Jewish people stronger and brought out the creativity, the talent, the drive, and the business acumen that threatens to unseat these white supremacists?

In reality, white supremacists are a threat to the nation’s progress because they are not interested in helping the best and the brightest to succeed and represent the best of us. They are more interested in maintaining a false narrative of white superiority where they maintain power, privilege and economic advantage. They are afraid that if they must compete on a level playing field, they will ultimately loose. And for too many of them, their ego can’t abide such a defeat. They were never groomed to compete, having been handed every invisible advantage from the birth of the nation. As they are confronted with the truth that their manifest destiny was a lie, they are having a very public temper tantrum.

So, we watch in horror and disbelief as they take up arms, march through the streets with Tiki torches, mount an insurrection at the nation’s Capitol and now try to suppress the vote in the next election. Mitch McConnell and other Republican leaders saw the writing on the walls and took over the courts during the Trump administration. And now they desperately want to win the 2022 and 2024 elections by any means necessary. This includes keeping fair-minded citizens from voting. Their ultimate goal is to maintain power and to limit the progress of others. Frankly, I wouldn’t put it past them to take up arms if necessary to preserve their power. Scared people do scary things.

At this moment, the number one job of truly patriotic Americans is to make sure we vote and that every fair-minded American we know is willing and able to cast a ballot in 2022 and 2024. Beyond that, I’m a bit fearful of what comes next. I hope it is a battle for the hearts and minds of white supremacists and not a battle for the right of black and Jewish people to exist.

On day two of my retirement, I tearfully cancelled my flight to Philadelphia to spend three weeks with my new grandson. It was a sad but easy decision as soon as we got the bad news that my husband’s lung cancer has recurred and has spread to his lymph nodes. The doctors plan to treat the cancer aggressively meaning another possible surgery, followed by chemotherapy and radiation. His first appointment is this Tuesday, the same day of the scheduled flight.

I struggled to wrap my head around this huge change in mindset and plans. We never fully recovered from the recent cancer battle and we are about to embark on a more rigorous fight. I find that I process better when my hands are busy, so I spent the day returning my dining room to its pre-pandemic space–not the work space I used it for the last 15 months since COVID-19 sent us all home to work, but an actual dining room. I did a lot of gardening. I cleaned the guest room. And finally, I just sat in my backyard and starred at the flowers and trees, allowing my mind to just wander.

I admit that I am afraid. I also know that this time I must approach this battle differently if I want to maintain my own health while supporting and caring for my husband. I’m aware of an unhealthy pattern I’ve developed when I am in the midst of a cancer battle wherein I focus on the battle at hand and force my anxiety and fears aside. But I’ve learned the hard way that my body absorbs the anxiety and fear that my conscience mind refuses to entertain, resulting in health issues. I’ve traveled the cancer road first with my mother, who eventually died of breast cancer when I was 35. I traveled the cancer road when my husband survived colon cancer about 15 years ago. And then we thought he had defeated this past year’s bout of lung cancer, but it has recurred.

This time I will allow myself to feel the fear. This time I will nurture myself by nurturing my garden. This time I will exercise through it daily. This time I will not allow comfort food to be my primary source of comfort. I will lean more heavily on mediation, prayer, conversations with family and friends, music, and if necessary, I will engage the help of a therapist.

This isn’t how I planned to spend the first months of my retirement, but life is like that. So, when life changes, our best laid plans change, too. I covet the positive thoughts and prayers of my readers as we venture once again into battle against cancer.