Month: August 2022

Some of my favorite Bible passages that guide my everyday life are found in the book of Proverbs. I began discovering and unconsciously memorizing verses in Proverbs as a young teenager. They have become the underlying principles behind much of my decision making and lifestyle choices. In the next few posts, I’ll share some of my favorite Proverbs and how they have impacted my life and relationships.

The first is a well-known and often quoted passage. Proverbs 3:5-6 reads, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.” For an analytical personality like mine, this became an essential reminder for me that I don’t know everything, that information can be incomplete or distorted, and that things are not always what they seem. It is a comfort to trust that I can rely on the God who knows, sees, and understands the daily road I tread and to trust that He will get me through life successfully as I trust His direction. And I do.

I make a habit of listening to my heart even more so than listening to my head. Some people call that voice intuition. Some say it means to follow your gut. Others call it the voice of the Holy Spirit or that still small voice. Whatever it is, it is the voice that I trust and follow even when reason or the evidence I see and hear seem to indicate that I should go a different way. I’ve learned through failure and many experiences that the voice of my heart is always right.

To people who know me, it may sometimes seem like I’m clairvoyant, highly intuitive, or foresighted when in fact I have simply learned to tune into the voice in my heart. I say things like, “I just know” or “I just feel” or “I see this happening”. I have dreams. I see snippets. I hear an inaudible voice. I receive inspiration and “good ideas”. These have been the norm for me for many years and I accept them as normal. I’ll make decisions on whether to take on a new venture or not based on what I’ve come to call “grace” for the venture. It simply means that I feel in my heart that God is providing the open doors, the skills, the courage and the energy to see the project through. I’ve relied on this “grace” so much that I have only ever applied to one specific job or one specific University throughout my entire education and job career and have always been accepted without a moment’s worry. It’s not that I’m so great, but that I had a confidence born from hearing this voice to apply to a particular place.

A good example of a time when I had to fight my head in favor of the voice was when I decided to finally pursue the doctoral degree that I’ve known that I wanted since high school. I didn’t know when or in what subject, but I knew that degree was in my future. As my children neared adulthood and I had earned my master’s in counseling and guidance and was enjoying my career in higher education, I started feeling that the time was approaching. So, I applied to the PhD program in Educational Psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara and was accepted. However, I felt this strange uneasiness in my heart when the acceptance letter arrived. All indications were that it was the perfect program and that the timing was perfect. But I couldn’t shake the uneasiness. That letter sat on my desk for three full weeks before I finally obeyed the voice in my heart and notified the University that I would pass on the offer. I knew that the “grace” to start that program was absent.

I waited another two years. One day in passing, I heard about an EdD program at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) and I immediately felt a strong urge in my heart to apply. I even had to learn the difference between a PhD and an EdD. I was so glad that I waited because in the two years since foregoing the PhD program, I discovered that I enjoyed being a hands-on practitioner who enjoyed transforming research into practice. I enjoyed policymaking and practical engagement as opposed to teaching and research. That was the difference between the two degrees. And an EdD, which I didn’t even know existed, was a much better fit.

Again, I was accepted and this time I strongly felt that the grace to pursue the program was there. I was one of a few in my program who sailed through the program in three years, completing and defending my dissertation without having to make any adjustments to it, which I’m told is unheard of. It was a lot of hard work and really long hours. It was grace that got me through hour (or more) long drives to UCLA several times a week and an unbelievable amount of reading and research, projects and assignments, and finally my dissertation. I would sleep for about three hours and then start studying at 2am every morning before going to my full-time job. I told my friends that I wouldn’t see them for a few years and then completed the degree with enjoyment and ease. At one point, one of my dissertation advisors asked me to slow down because she couldn’t keep up with my passion and pace. That was grace.

My understanding is decent and perhaps better than a lot of other folks, however it is no match for trusting God to direct my path. This Proverb I adopted to guide my life in my early teens was the best decision I ever made because He has never steered me wrong.

In classrooms across America, three kinds of children monopolize the attention of teachers. The most dreaded are those extremely obnoxious, outrageous, and disruptive children. The most revered are the academically eager, highly responsive, and responsible children. And the most liked are the charismatic, talented, and attractive children. All the others go largely unnoticed as they make their way through school. Even to this day, I remember the kids who fit into one of these categories. And as adults, not much has changed.

One of my earliest lessons on how to succeed in society came from the saying that the squeaky wheel gets oiled. To me that meant that I had to get myself noticed to have my needs met. From my earliest days, what I desired most was a peaceful, safe, and equitable environment. Some of that was personality but perhaps that desire also stemmed from being raised in an unstable home with a violent alcoholic father and a hard-working mother who struggled to hold things together.

School was a safe haven where I could relax and enjoy the company of my best friends, Laura and Myrna. In my early school years, I was solidly in the category of the unnoticed and being an introvert, I was comfortable with that because I had what I needed. However, my satisfaction vanished when my two best friends were promoted up to the next grade level when the state eliminated the A and B grade classifications. I remained in the second semester of the third grade while they both moved up to the fourth grade.

At the time, I was emotionally devasted because I thought I was being left behind due to my invisibility. I believed I was overlooked because I didn’t stand out enough academically. That was when I decided to become a squeaky wheel by reinventing myself into the model student academically and socially. Thankfully, I learned well after my academic and social stardom that, like my brothers, my friends’ promotion up was because of their spring birthdates. I was born in the summer and was therefore solidly at the desired grade level for the new system.

But I didn’t know that. The impact of staying where I was while my best friends were promoted up a half grade, pushed me toward academic and social excellence. I became the squeaky wheel that got oiled from fourth grade all the way through college. My teachers noticed me, encouraged me, and they opened multiple doors of opportunity to me. I was blessed with the mental capacity to become the squeaky wheel by positive means. I’m thankful that eventually learning the truth set me free of a chronic fear of being left behind and allowed me to regain a focus on building a peaceful, safe, and equitable environment for myself and others.

When I think of some of the politicians we have elected to office in recent years, I wonder why they get so much attention. Obama captured our attention through a combination of his intelligence, charm, decency, and good looks. But then the nation couldn’t quite gather enough support for a female candidate with intelligence but lacking in charm. By a fluke of the electoral college, this country elected Donald Trump, a disrupter who used charm or charisma (like Hitler) to disguise his corruption and cruelty.

For whatever reason, we as humans give our limited attention to the squeaky wheel. I just hope that we are wise enough in the coming election to check to see what is causing each candidate’s wheel to squeak before we cast our next votes.

I like my doctor because he once told me that his goal was for me to enjoy a healthy retirement. However, it turns out that we have very different methods for accomplishing that goal. His method is medication plus intermittent fasting and mine is the food plus intermittent fasting. It turns out that the kinds of food I consume, the amount I consume, and when I consume it is the key in addition to exercise and good sleep. I wonder if my centering on food and rejection of new medications challenges his thinking.

I recall an observation I made many years ago when I became aware that there were people starving in other parts of the world. I was bothered by the images of emaciated bodies and thought it strange that our country had such an abundance of food that we turned perfectly nutritious food into junk food loaded with fats, salt, and sugar. On the one hand, I was compelled to donate to hunger relief organizations who provided the stables to make bread and porridge, but on the other, I was compelled to consume greater amounts of the junk food being pushed by savvy corporations. As a seventeen-year-old, I once had French fries and a milkshake for lunch. At one point, I had to use a napkin and scrape the congealed grease from the roof of my mouth. It was gross, but it didn’t stop me from consuming either. I realize now that whether it is the abundance of junk food in wealthy countries or the scarcity of basic food in poor countries, we humans are slowly dying because of food.

My over-consumption of food and my addiction to processed and junk food eventually took its toll. It took me a long time to realize than my consistency with exercise, my basic alcohol abstinence, and my avoidance of cigarette smoke were not enough to compensate for my overeating and poor food choices.

My doctor’s answer to my high blood pressure is medication. His answer to my high LDL cholesterol is medication. His answer to my low HLD is medication. His answer to my progressive weight gain was intermittent fasting since I already exercise an hour in the mornings. I do aerobics, stretching, and weight training. But despite all this, I continued to put on the pounds and my metabolic numbers grew worse, not better. Six months ago, I was pre-diabetic and very close to being labeled a type two diabetic. Despite this, my doctor never addressed my food choices.

The issue of healthy eating is very complicated in the United States. Over the years, I’ve tried making many dietary lifestyle changes. The first was a switch to a low-fat diet. The first items to be substituted out for healthier options were whole milk, shortening, cheeses, and lard. I switched to low-fat everything and used smoked turkey instead of pork fat in southern cooking. Then there was the low carb diet where white breads, white pastas, white rice and white sugar were the culprits and brown whole grains became the substitute for everything. I curtailed candy and desserts. I eliminated bacon and lunchmeats that contained nitrates. Eggs were bad and then they were good. Coffee was good, then bad, then good again. Everything in moderation became the thing. Then eating five small meals a day was the answer. Then gut health and getting enough probiotics and calcium became the thing, so plain yogurt became a staple. Then we tried the Paleo diet that glorified animal proteins and made beans, diary (including my yogurt), nightshade vegetables and wheat products the culprits. Then we returned to moderation with hormone free meats and only organic fruits and vegetables. Nothing worked. We only became fatter and sicker.

It wasn’t until my husband was fighting a recurrence of lung cancer, that I started to really look at food for its healing properties. I wanted to support his healing process with the foods he was consuming. I did some research, met with the nutritionists a couple of times and did some more research. I eventually landed on a plant-based diet for us.

At my quarterly doctor’s appointment in May, we had only been on the plant-based diet for about a week. My doctor was concerned about my higher blood pressure and protecting my kidneys. In addition, I was heavier, and my blood sugar numbers were at the edge of type two diabetes. He prescribed yet another blood pressure medication which proved to be intolerable to my system and I had to stop. On the phone, when I told him I had to stop that new medication, I explained to him that I had switched to a plant-based diet and was determined to try that before doing anything more. He gave three months to improve my numbers. At the beginning of July, I added an additional four hours to my intermittent fasting. So, I eat a plant-bases organic diet eight hours a day and fast for 16 hours. And I got results. At my doctor’s appointment last week, I had accomplished the loss of seven pounds while also pushing my blood sugar back into the normal range.

However, my blood pressure is still elevated and my HDL still too low. My triglycerides that had been normal, were now high as fat stores enter my blood stream on their way out. I asked my doctor for another three months to address these issues with the diet and lifestyle changes that I had initiated. I added breathing exercises, a daily walk outside in nature as opposed to the treadmill and bike, and a sharp reduction in my salt intake as well as morning green tea while I am still fasting. Sleep has always been a big problem for me, but I’ve noticed a near miraculous improvement in it. I’m now sleeping an average of six and a half to seven hours a night. I can only attribute this change to my new dietary change where I stop eating by 6pm. I’ve tried everything else that was recommended to no avail.

The temptation to eat foods that harm rather than improve health is everywhere. I now view food for what it is: fuel and body repair or poison. But for me, the greatest motivation is my visit to the doctor’s office every three months. I ‘m excited to see how eating well and less often can restore health to my body. I’m hopeful these changes that improve my health will also provide a case study for my doctor to pass along to his other patients.