In classrooms across America, three kinds of children monopolize the attention of teachers. The most dreaded are those extremely obnoxious, outrageous, and disruptive children. The most revered are the academically eager, highly responsive, and responsible children. And the most liked are the charismatic, talented, and attractive children. All the others go largely unnoticed as they make their way through school. Even to this day, I remember the kids who fit into one of these categories. And as adults, not much has changed.
One of my earliest lessons on how to succeed in society came from the saying that the squeaky wheel gets oiled. To me that meant that I had to get myself noticed to have my needs met. From my earliest days, what I desired most was a peaceful, safe, and equitable environment. Some of that was personality but perhaps that desire also stemmed from being raised in an unstable home with a violent alcoholic father and a hard-working mother who struggled to hold things together.
School was a safe haven where I could relax and enjoy the company of my best friends, Laura and Myrna. In my early school years, I was solidly in the category of the unnoticed and being an introvert, I was comfortable with that because I had what I needed. However, my satisfaction vanished when my two best friends were promoted up to the next grade level when the state eliminated the A and B grade classifications. I remained in the second semester of the third grade while they both moved up to the fourth grade.
At the time, I was emotionally devasted because I thought I was being left behind due to my invisibility. I believed I was overlooked because I didn’t stand out enough academically. That was when I decided to become a squeaky wheel by reinventing myself into the model student academically and socially. Thankfully, I learned well after my academic and social stardom that, like my brothers, my friends’ promotion up was because of their spring birthdates. I was born in the summer and was therefore solidly at the desired grade level for the new system.
But I didn’t know that. The impact of staying where I was while my best friends were promoted up a half grade, pushed me toward academic and social excellence. I became the squeaky wheel that got oiled from fourth grade all the way through college. My teachers noticed me, encouraged me, and they opened multiple doors of opportunity to me. I was blessed with the mental capacity to become the squeaky wheel by positive means. I’m thankful that eventually learning the truth set me free of a chronic fear of being left behind and allowed me to regain a focus on building a peaceful, safe, and equitable environment for myself and others.
When I think of some of the politicians we have elected to office in recent years, I wonder why they get so much attention. Obama captured our attention through a combination of his intelligence, charm, decency, and good looks. But then the nation couldn’t quite gather enough support for a female candidate with intelligence but lacking in charm. By a fluke of the electoral college, this country elected Donald Trump, a disrupter who used charm or charisma (like Hitler) to disguise his corruption and cruelty.
For whatever reason, we as humans give our limited attention to the squeaky wheel. I just hope that we are wise enough in the coming election to check to see what is causing each candidate’s wheel to squeak before we cast our next votes.