Month: September 2022

I spent 25 years of my career in higher education helping international students navigate a complicated, contradictory, slow, and broken immigration system. I’ve worked with students who simply earn their degree and return home and many more who wanted to remain in the U.S. after getting their education and completing the work experience provided by their student visa. I worked with undocumented students, students who were seeking asylum, students who married an American, students who found a work sponsor and eventually became citizens, and students who broke laws and faced dire consequences. Through it all, I’ve interacted with all branches of our immigration system from Custom and Border Patrol, ICE, Embassies, regulatory experts, status adjudicators, judges, and immigration attorneys. And what I’ve gleaned from this experience is that Congress is responsible for failing to fix the many things that are broken.

The current crisis at our border is caused by our ridiculous laws. First, asylum seekers can only apply for asylum within the U.S. or at our border and we are required by our laws to grant them entry and a day in court. The second ridiculous law is the extremely low and arbitrary number of guest worker visas available to employers who have difficulty filling jobs that Americans don’t want to do. The third is Congress’ failure to pass the Dream Act, granting permanent status to children brought here by their parents and educated on our dime. And finally, the failure of Congress to fund adequate numbers of people to quickly adjudicate immigration status claims, leaving us with processing lines that can literally take years to process and approve. These are laws that Congress can and should address. Their continued failure to do so is a blatant invitation for people to overstay their visas, enter the country illegally to join family members or look for jobs, or show up at our border seeking asylum. We have created this crisis at our borders, and we have turned otherwise decent people into criminals.

Contrary to political talking points, the president lacks the power to change these laws. Remember, the executive branch is charged with enforcing the law, not making them. So, each president can only place a band aide on the problems or make life a living hell for migrants trying to follow our current laws. It was by executive order that President Obama famously gave temporary legal status to the Dreamers though the DACA Program. He was essentially saying that he wasn’t going to deport them and was going to allow them to live and work in the U.S. if they adhered to strict guidelines and renewal applications. Let us not forget that Obama was also nicknamed the “Deporter in Chief” because of the unpresented numbers of people he deported. To this day, the Senate has failed to pass the Dream Act because it would require at least 10 Republican votes. Getting those votes from a xenophobic white nationalist party is nearly impossible since the Dreamers in question are typically people of color.

Donald Trump, being the white nationalist he is, used the executive branch to take an even harsher approach to the immigration. Remember his Muslim ban? He also reduced the number of green cards available. He tried and failed to deport 98% of asylum seekers, those here under protected status who fled political and natural disasters. He tried to dismantle the Obama DACA Program for Dreamers. He made it more difficult to obtain visas. He wanted to build a wall to keep migrants out. Of course, he promised that Mexico was going to pay for it, but Mexico refused and so did Congress because walls have never been effective. However, Donald Trump had another evil trick up his sleeve to keep people out. He initiated the unthinkable act of separating children from their parents and then failed to keep track of them. He drastically increased the fees associated with all immigration related applications. His policy to make asylum seekers wait outside the U.S. was found to be illegal. In many cases, the court stood between Trump and the policies he tried to enact to curtail legal as well as illegal immigration. He said the truth out loud when he claimed that he wanted more people from countries like Norway and Sweden to come and not from those, “shit-hole” countries.

Obama, Trump and Biden cannot unilaterally fix the current immigration crisis at the border and all three have pointed to Congress to pass comprehensive immigration reform. The problem is that Democrats want reforms that balance human compassion with the country’s actual economic needs while Republicans want to limit the increase of people of color and religious diversity under the false narrative of protecting jobs and “American values”. What Republicans fear most is the replacement of white majority rule. They are afraid that new legal immigrants who become citizens will vote them out of office permanently. However, what Americans see is the human crisis at our border and they wonder how to resolve it.

This week, I wrote to my Congresswoman, both my Senators, the House and Senate Majority leaders and the President (twice). I suggested that they need to act now to address and to make proposals to mitigate the problems. I made the following suggestions:

First, I asked them to end the requirement that asylum seekers be present in the U.S. or present themselves at our border. This law simply invites the border crisis. I suggested that they allow asylum seekers to apply for asylum from anywhere in the world and that we hire enough adjudicators to review the cases quickly before granting admission to the U.S. for those outside. In addition, I suggested that they work out an agreement with other countries to be part of a destination lottery for asylum seekers.

Second, I suggested that they increase the number of temporary worker visas to better match the employer demand for workers in industries like farming, food processing, restaurant, hospitality, healthcare, and other industries struggling with worker shortages. I asked the president to consider granting employer sponsored temporary work visas to those already here working illegally but otherwise obeying the law. The undocumented worker situation was a problem of our own making by failing to meet the needs of employers for workers. Our failure turned both employers and undocumented workers into lawbreakers. I see them as victims of a broken system. Let’s rectify that and moving forward strictly enforce the law.

Third, I suggested that they hire an adequate number of adjudicators so that the processing and approval of immigration applications doesn’t take years to process. Long processing times are invitations for people to overstay their visas or cross the border illegally to reunite with family members or to find jobs.

And finally, I asked them to pass the Dream Act to grant permanent status to young people with diplomas, jobs, businesses, military service, and no criminal record. These are people whom we have invested in and who are contributing members of our society. Granting them legal status would relieve a burden on our immigration system.

Doing these few things will eliminate much of the human trafficking, the travel perils of migrants, the mean-spirited political stunts of Trumpian governors, and we would free up border patrol officers to crack down on drug traffickers.

The crisis at our border is solvable. In fact, many of the problems within our broken immigration system are easily solvable. We just need a Congress that is willing to solve them. In particular, we need at least 60 U.S. senators to vote in favor of our economy and compassion and a Democratic House. So, lets vote for people who will fix this broken and ineffective system in keeping with our values. We are a nation of immigrants so let’s have an immigration system that actually works.

I wonder if I am the only one to notice the expansion and frequency of acts of cruelty in the U.S. since Donald Trump was in office. And sadly, I’ve seen that much of the nastiness is among professed Christians, represented by a political party that claims to be all about “family values”. But when did family values ever condone separating children from their parents to deter immigration? What part of the family values mindset refuses lunches to school-age children living in poverty or debt relief to struggling citizens while allowing business debts to be forgiven uncontested? What thinking in family values disregards the emotional and physical health of women with ill-conceived or malfunctioning pregnancies? What family values mentality denies children the right to learn about history, science, and the actual diversity of the human race? And when did family values ever include denying access to clean drinking water for entire communities of color?

The Republican Party and their white Christian nationalist have made it clear that certain lives and families do not matter. However, since Trump, they are taking their disregard and distain for others to a whole new level: unabashed cruelty. There is a Bible proverb that reads, “The merciful man does good for his own soul. But he who is cruel troubles his own flesh” (Proverbs 11:17). Mercy is an act of compassion shown towards people to whom you own nothing. It is undeserved favor. It is kindness extended to someone who needs it. Cruelty on the other hand is pouring salt into someone’s wound. It is the ruthless and inconsiderate infliction of pain and suffering onto others.

This past week, Governor Ron DeSantis flew fifty migrants, not illegal aliens, but legal asylum-seeking people, across the country to the island vacation town of Martha’s Vineyard without notice to anyone on the island of their arrival. What’s worse is that he lured these vulnerable people onto the plane with false promises of housing and jobs while also providing them with inaccurate information about how to maintain their tenuous immigration status. The information given would have disqualified them from pursuing legal residence in United States. In addition, some of those sent on the plane had hearings scheduled in other states as early as Monday morning. It bothers me that the news only depicts his actions as a political stunt to gain attention, when in fact his actions show a blatant and cruel disregard for the lives of the people he dumped in Martha’s Vineyard under false pretenses. Thankfully, his ploy to frighten, stun, or anger the residents of Martha’s Vineyard failed as they united to choose mercy. They clothed, provided food and shelter, and secured free legal advice to the newcomers. I’m sure that their souls are feeling good about now. I trust in the Lord to avenge the cruelty of Ron DeSantis. And I hope the voters are taking note. But there are others who are delving into that same bowl of cruelty.

As Disney and other media companies finally make attempts to be inclusive of a wide range of skin colors in their story characters, racist white people are losing their minds. I noticed the dark-skinned people in the new “Lord of the Rings” prequel and jokingly remarked to my husband that they must have undergone a mass extinction because they were absent in the earlier movies. But their reaction was pure vitriol. Of course, these changes on screen are an attempt on the part of the producers to right a past wrong. I found it interesting that the amount of anger from the racists about “Lord of the Rings” was over-shadowed by the protests over Halle Bailey, a highly talented, black-skinned actress cast as Ariel in “The Little Mermaid”. In both cases, we are talking about fictional characters who do not exist in reality nor in actual history and the racists are up in arms over the inclusion of darker skinned humans. The joy we witnessed among young black girls who see themselves in Ariel must warm the hearts of those producers who had the power to show this little bit of mercy. The haters can keep losing sleep as their blood boils and they spew hatred from their mouths and their keyboards.

I’ve already written about the backlash I’ve received on my Facebook posts about being a better human. And many of these from professed Christian people. There is a scripture I recite to myself, and I hope others take it to heart as well. It says, “Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21). That verse is a nice compliment to the Proverb I’ve highlighted for today.

As much of the world mourns the death of Queen Elizabeth, many are reminded of the past cruelty of the British Empire throughout the world. Many feel only bitterness and regret that Queen Elizabeth passed on the opportunity to issue formal apologies during her reign for the financial harm and for the many lives loss or ruined at the hand of her Empire. While she herself was not a cruel person and much of the harm preceded her reign, she failed in her lifetime to extend the mercy needed to acknowledge and help heal the festering wounds caused by those acts of human cruelty. I’m left wondering why she didn’t.

It’s a fact that humans have always had a cruel side. Acts of human cruelty are an everyday reality, and they seem to be expanding and becoming more frequent. However, humans are also capable of empathy and compassion which begats mercy. I’m going to be like those people on Martha’s Vineyard and those producers that are trying to be more inclusive. Each day, faced with the choice, I will choose mercy. I will not ignore cruelty because that is in fact a brand of cruelty itself. Each time I choose mercy, my soul becomes glad, and the world becomes a little bit better for someone else.

We don’t get to choose our family members, but we do get to choose our friends. And I have very few actual friends outside of family members, some of whom are both family and friends. It may be unusual, but my mother was my very best friend before her passing and I haven’t experienced that depth of friendship since her passing in 1994. It’s likely because of my personality. I’ve said many times that I am an introvert. At times I think I also have reclusive tendencies. If my mother worried about the many hours I spent as a child tucked away behind the big orange chair in her bedroom just thinking or the days I spent playing alone in my bedroom or in my grandparent’s attic, she never mentioned it to me. As I got older, I often shopped alone, visited museums alone, and even went to the movies alone because I wanted to. After her death, I’ve become my own best friend by choice.

However, I do like people. But the truth is that I can only enjoy people in small doses. Because of this, the quality of my rare interactions makes a huge difference to me. I hate drama, bickering, jealously, competition, and gossip. There was a short time in my life when I’d decided that boys made better friends than girls because there was less of this nonsense, and they didn’t appear to be so needy or clingy. Boys didn’t need constant affirmation about their looks and feelings. They weren’t constantly worried about who said or did whatever. But boys had other issues like their attraction to violence and that rubbed me the wrong way. They weren’t inclined toward meaningful conversations either, so that preference was short-lived.

Eventually, the few female friends I made in high school were athletes and academically inclined students like me and they didn’t gossip nor traffic in drama. They didn’t insist that I go shopping with them nor talk to them on the phone. Our interactions were not riddled in competition and insecurities. That positive experience lured me into believing that I could make and maintain positive female friendships so long as we had common goals. So, in college, I joined my two closest dorm friends and pledged Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. I soon learned that I loved the community service projects, but I dreaded the parties and the return to female drama.

I was never a shy person and I never lacked friendly human interactions. From the outside looking in, it probably seemed like I had lots of friends because I was well known and well liked. I am approachable because I smile and acknowledged everyone from a genuine place of welcome. To my surprise, I was actually voted “most outgoing” by my senior class. How that happened is a mystery to me because I never once attended a party in high school. I had a lot of “associates” and was I kind and friendly to everyone, but I only hung out with that small circle of friends, whom I saw at school and at youth group.

During my career, I was often told that I give off a warm and welcoming aura that attracts people to me. I genuinely do like most people, and I am welcoming because I feel deeply that most people are deserving of kindness, dignity and respect. However, I’ve always been really picky about people I become actual friends with. I am friendly with a lot of people, but friends with only a few. I realize that some people mistake my willingness to have genuine interactions with them as friendship when it is not.

I can name the few people whom I have called “friends” over the years. These people proved themselves to be incredible human beings whom I admired for their wisdom, empathy, loyalty, and generosity. They are my “go to” people and the people I will be there for in every situation. They are the only people in the world who can keep me on the telephone for more than five minutes.

There were times in my life when I mistakenly thought someone was friendship material. I’m a sucker for intelligence, confidence, and humor. But each time I’ve embarked on a friendship based on these attributes alone, I’ve been burned. I had to learn the hard way that not every smile is truly friendly and not every person who shows an interest in me has my best interest in mind. And then there was the time I joined my sorority after being taken in by the organizational goals and the intelligence, talents, and energy of the sorority members. After being initiated, I soon discovered that the community service at the college level was less important than parties and female drama. It proved way too much for me and I had to extricate myself. It took years for me to return to active membership and that was only because I finally learned how to preserve my sanity in the midst of a dynamic female environment.

There is a Bible Proverb that reads, “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.” It’s taken me years to finally understand that wisdom is the application of knowledge. It’s emotional intelligence. I want to be an emotionally intelligent person, so I must choose emotionally intelligent people as my companions.

Today, I have many associates but very few friends. But the friends I do have can discern between the truth and lies, are loyal and keep confidences, do not gossip about others, are genuinely supportive me and my family, are empathetic, kindhearted, and are not overly demanding of my presence because they too require time alone. They may not be the funniest people on the planet, but they definitely contribute to my own wise walk and not my ultimate destruction.

I feel blessed and satisfied to observe the respectful and productive lives of my adult children. I raised them with intention, sensitivity, patience, and sacrificial investment while having full faith in Proverbs 22:6 that reads, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

There is a special joy that comes from hearing and watching my adult children put into practice the life lessons and values I instilled in them regarding hard work, integrity, diligence, determination, and respect for others. It wasn’t always easy. In fact, at times when they were growing up, it was really hard, especially during those adolescent years. I had to remind myself that being a teenager isn’t the “old” that verse was talking about. Those teenage years were really tough and sometimes very scary as they took risks and did things that were contrary to the values and common sense that I was trying to instill in them. I found that the key to those teenage years was persistence, insistence, and vigilance.

Proverbs 19:18 reads, “Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction.” I believe that is talking about those teenage years when they are hell bent on testing the waters, your patience, and the boundaries. Contrary to some, I believe those are the years when our hearts, ears, and eyes need to be the most open. During those years they need constant reassurance, the greatest display of unconditional love, the assurance that failure is an opportunity to learn, the sting of consequences for their actions, and an understanding that supervision is different from surveillance. Navigating those teenage years was difficult but understanding that their brains were not fully developed and that they were still being shaped and influenced by my example, approval, disapproval, and guidance, helped me be the parent they each needed.

And each of them needed something different from me. I took to heart that part in the verse that said, “in the way he should go” to mean that each child had a specific path that was right for him or her. They each had different personalities, different interests, and different needs and challenges. I believed it was my job to observe my children to discover and help them realize and accept their individual talents, their passions, and the personal challenges that emerged. I never adopted a “one size fits all” or everyone gets the same thing as a principle of fairness. To the contrary, I saw fairness as providing each child with what he or she needed to succeed. One child required greater financial investments while another required more disciplinary creativity and another a greater investment of time.

When it came to discipline and correction, I was far more inclined to use positive reinforcement, recognizing the innate human need for attention and approval. In my mind, the rod of correction talked was not only a belt or paddle, but rather the time I spent explaining why certain behaviors deserved praise when others did not. I was not a parent who relied on the “because I said so” explanation because I saw that as tyranny over the will of a rational human being. A person can’t self-parent later having only heard, “because I said so” as a reason for avoiding certain behaviors. However, I did have a paddle. It was there for those very rare occasions when the incentive to do wrong outweighed rationality. I believe I used it twice when they were growing up and only after a lengthy explanation regarding the continued and intentional wrongdoing that would lead them towards a living hell.

As an educator, I never left the education of my children to the schools. Reading was a requirement in our home because it expands knowledge, experience, possibility, and creativity. We took trips to the library, I read to them, and they got to follow their own reading interests. We did homework at the table together when they were younger, and I provided educational toys, educational field trips to museums, zoos, factories, farms, and amusement parks. We played in parks, went camping, fishing, and hiking. I gave them cooking lessons and together we operated a candy store from our garage. Our family vacations included historical sites as well as family visits and reunions. We did crafts and they had chores. Each got to choose a musical instrument to learn and one or two athletic endeavors. All played team sports for as long as they were interested. I’m thankful for church activities, youth groups and scouting that further supported their growth and development.

As they matured, they were always busy going in different directions and at times I was exhausted. I’m thankful that I had an incredible mother who provided loving and competent childcare whenever I needed a break and she also provided financial support when opportunities seemed beyond our budget. It is because of her example and how much our family benefited from her generosity that I’ve been determined to return that favor to my children as a grandparent.

I haven’t provided a lot of specifics about each child because I want to protect their privacy. But I will say that all that time and attention I invested in training my children in the way they should go definitely paid off because now that they are old (in their late thirties and forties) they have not departed from it, and I am so proud of each one of them for the successful, respectable and productive adults they have become. They continue to seek advice and I am quick to provide it with a gentle reminder that they no longer need my approval. They always reply that they know that and for that I am even more grateful.