Month: November 2022

I’m no stranger to New York City, nor to Broadway Shows. However, this trip to New York City was very different from my previous excursions. For starters, it was a freezing cold third week in November, and I was accompanying my daughter who owns and operates a talent agency after a career in musical theater herself. She has many contacts and talents working on Broadway and what was a business trip for her was an opportunity for me tag-a-long to discover the joys in a visit to New York City worth blogging about. And there were a lot.

Few successful trips happen without preparation. I wanted to enjoy everything to the fullest and that meant setting the foundation for physical and emotional comfort and convenience. First and foremost, years of travel taught me the importance of traveling lightly. I use a small carry on and a small travel purse that fits in my light backpack. My small carry on is adequate for four weeks because I pick a basic color theme and plan my outfits around this theme, washing clothes each week (sometimes by hand). This time I chose black and dark grey with burgundy and teal as my pops of color. I purchased two important items specifically for this trip: black walking sneakers and a burgundy down coat. I got lucky on the coat. Macy’s was having an early Black Friday sale and I was able to purchase a Michael Kors burgundy down hooded coat for only $99, shocking the sales lady at the register. The retail price was $270. That purchase was a gift because it was freezing in New York City, and I wore that coat every moment we were outdoors.

Since I’m on a plant-based diet and do intermittent fasting, my daughter tasked me with finding restaurants. Before researching the best restaurants in New York City, I made a couple of decisions. First, I loosened my strictly plant-based diet for the week. I would allow myself diary, fish and chicken, but no processed meats. I would limit sweets and concentrate mostly on vegetables at every meal. And second, I would continue to eat only during my eight-hour window that coincided with my California eating times. That meant eating our first meal at 11am and our last meal before 7pm. It worked out perfectly because my daughter doesn’t do breakfast and we generally missed the crowds at very popular restaurants where I couldn’t make a reservation.

I’ve never been one to get star struck. Perhaps it’s because my parents exposed me to so many entertainment industry people growing up in California. That early experience exposed me to the sad reality that many celebrities have greater insecurities and fewer freedoms than others. As I’ve aged, many of the actors I encounter refer to me as “Mom” and find a weird comfort in my company. This trip was simply more of the same as we dined and socialized with Broadway actors, producers, and production people after shows and between shows. I enjoyed the VIP treatment while watching my highly competent daughter be the networking guru that she is as a former performer turned businesswoman. We met with her New York agents, and I got to see first-hand how highly respected she is as a boss-lady.

As for the shows, upon arrival in New York, we attended the video taping of Sherri Shepherd’s show as VIPs because my daughter’s good friend is the producer. It was fun. Sherri really caters to a Black female audience whom I would characterize as “church ladies”. That evening we went to see “MJ”, sitting center orchestra. I highly recommend the show to anyone who, like me, was a fan of Michael Jackson. The young actor who plays Michael, Myles Frost, won a Tony Award for his portrayal. Personally, I was amazed by his presence and his dancing, but I couldn’t understand a word he was saying. It might have been a problem with his mic or my plugged ear situation acting up. The playlist included all my favorite Michael Jackson hits and that alone put a smile on my face.

My daughter’s long time best friend, Jewelle Blackman, is starring as Persephone in “Hades Town” and so we went to see it. We later had lunch with her and one of the production designers who is also her boyfriend. It was by far my favorite show of the week. I loved the story, the music, the production, and the set design. No wonder it won a Tony Award for the Best New Musical. Again, we had the best seats in the House, but I hated the lack of leg room in that theater.

We also had great seats for “Harry Potter and the Cursed Child”. The magic in that production is unbelievable, the production stellar, and the story is really interesting. But what impressed me the most was the diversity of the cast. Unlike the movies, there were people of color cast in a variety of roles. Most surprising of all was that the role of Hermione Granger was played by an amazing Black actor, Rachel Leslie. Again, the lack of leg room afforded to audience goers was uncomfortable and detracted from the overall experience. It may just be me who hates feeling cramped.

And finally, we went to see K-Pop pre-opening (front row seats) and then again on Opening Night (back row seats) because my daughter has two actors in the show. Trust me, the back row seats in the small theater is much better. I’m a big BTS fan, but not a huge K-Pop fan. However, the show was a real treat for the eyes and sometimes for the ears as well. The lights, the costumes, the dancing, the production and even the story were on point. My favorite songs were performed by the K-Pop star, Luna. Some of the other songs were less memorable and there was one song in particular that I actually hated. I was tempted to make a comment about that song to one of the producers whom I met in the lobby the first night. I held my tongue since opening night was the following day and I knew the entire cast was under tremendous pressure. So, I complimented him on the show, hoping that someone would catch and correct that one egregious moment when everything was so off. Unfortunately, it was still there Opening Night and I just wanted to cover my ears until it was over. Thankfully, Broadway shows are notorious for self-correcting weak moments.

I thoroughly enjoyed our jam-packed four days in New York City despite the cold weather. It neither rained nor snowed and we felt safe in the city. We interacted with wonderful people every day including industry people, restaurant servers, hotel staff, Uber drivers, and tourists. In my experience, being kind and caring towards others brings out the best in people and that’s what we experienced. On day two, our doorman began hugging us every time we returned to the hotel to welcome us in from the cold. Upon our final departure, I left a thank you note for him with the front desk clerk whom we had shared untouched leftovers from Carmine’s a couple of days before.

Well, this post is getting way too long, so I will save our restaurant and other great experiences for next week’s blog post.

I’m taking a break to be fully present in New York City with my talent agency owner daughter as we dine at recommended restaurants and enjoy five shows plus an opening night, a talk show taping as VIPs, and meet with her industry clients and associates. I’ll share the experience at a later date.

For today, I’ll share one of my seven October 2022 poems. The entire set of frameable poems and other promotional products are available in the store at www.fullypresentbetterhuman.com. All proceeds go to further the Fully Present Better Human Project.

Woke up this morning to hear about yet another mass shooting. This time at an LGBTQ nightclub in Colorado Springs. What sadness we keep inflicting upon ourselves as humans. We must be better and do better.

• 

A few weeks ago, I went to get some blood work done. Like many medical offices and businesses, the check in process is now handled via a touch pad where you enter your information. I found it easy and pretty straight forward. While waiting, a big screen displayed my place in line and an approximate wait time. I thought the system was easy, efficient, and a definite improvement. However, an older woman who sat in the socially distanced chair beside mine wasn’t at all happy. In fact, she was unnerved enough to look my way and comment that she hates all these changes. I confirmed that there are in fact a lot of changes coming our way pretty fast and that it’s sometimes difficult to keep up. And then she expressed how she hated the changes and how she wished it would all just stop. I tried to empathize and point out how that many of these new ways have actually improved our lives.

In that moment, I was reminded that change is very difficult for a large segment of the human population. They see change on a continuum ranging from inconvenience to a life-altering threat. However, I happen to be one of those people who is excited by change and innovation. That doesn’t mean I love every change, but I’m not opposed to change because I tend to imagine greater efficiencies or new doors of opportunity. I find change akin to the eagerness I feel when opening a gift to discover the treasure inside. Admittedly, some treasures turn out to be better than others. These days, change is rapid with innovations in language that reflect changes in culture, social awareness, and technology. And those technological innovations create changes in how we work, shop, and interact socially. I’ve noticed that many of my fellow baby boomers are somewhat resistant to change. It takes us a while understand the rapid influx of new systems, new technologies, and new social norms.

In fact, my husband is definitely one of the slower adopters, especially when it comes to social changes regarding human sexuality and sexual orientation. He struggles every time he sees a transgender person on television. He has a physical reaction when he sees same sex affectionate behaviors. After many conversations with him on the topic and numerous interactions with some of my students over the years, the best I’ve been able to expect from him is respectful behavior. My husband is the type of person who won’t even try food that he didn’t grow up eating. I have to assist him with new technology because he is often too impatient to bother learning how to use it. In so many ways, I feel he is missing out, but the rapidly changing world causes him stress and anxiety, not anticipation for new experiences that might be enjoyable.

My husband’s resistance to change helps me understand why so many Americans embraced Trump. Like my husband struggles to embrace new foods, new technologies, and transgender and gay people as full members of society, Trump supporters were unprepared to see people of color and LGBTQ people in positions power. Trump promised to turn back the clock for change-resistant Baby Boomers and Silent Generation folks who reject the changing times that make them feel powerless and left behind. The changing demographics and outspokenness of people who were previously hidden and silent now appear before them at every turn and they find it unsettling, even repulsive.

Obama was a wake-up call that social progress was here. When you think about all the changes such as climate change, same-sex marriage, gender fluidity, female sexual empowerment, a “Me Too Movement” that exposed the prevalence of unchecked male sexual misconduct against women, and Title IX reforms that insists on female equity in education and sports, it’s easy to understand why some older people are simply overwhelmed. Even some Generation X people are distressed by the notion that the values of their parents and ministers are being overrun by the masses of “godless” Americans they see on television and in the movies.

I get that change is hard for some people. But not all change is bad, nor does every change affect us. It is our responsibility as those who see the opportunities for inclusion, equity, and improvements in these changes to have sensitive conversations with our resistant friends and family members about the changes, employing our empathy, understanding, and patience. We can ask them how same-sex marriage impacts their heterosexual marriage and listen to their response before pointing out elements of our constitution that grant everyone the right to life, liberty, and the pursue happiness. We can listen to their complaints about pronouns and gently remind them of how much they, too, want to be respected for their identity. We can talk about climate science and why changes in how we interact with the environment is consequential to the livability of the planet. We can ask those Christians among us who embraced Trumpism for examples from the Bible where Jesus asked His followers to harm others to make them comply to their values and beliefs. Our best chance to bridge the divide that is tearing our nation apart is to listen with empathy and respectfully share our own perspective.

Change is inevitable. It has always been a part of the human experience. Our job as citizens is to elect and then insist that our lawmakers and governors adhere to the basic precepts of our Constitution that grant us the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness and that they pass laws that acknowledge the truth that all humans are created equal. We must insist that they acknowledge that we are guaranteed freedom of religion and that there is no state religion. It is our duty as citizens to not only vote for candidates who will uphold these principles but to petition the government and leaders when they try to violate them.

With this new, almost evenly divided Congress and Senate, I plan to take every opportunity to reach out to our representatives via email, written letter, or phone call to let them know that I expect them to adhere to enact laws that protect lives and that adhere to the principles in our Constitution that give us the freedom to live and love as we see fit so long as we do no harm to others. I will let them know that I value dignity and justice for everyone and that equal protection the law is a priority for me. I will let them know that although I am a Christian, evangelism is not the job of the state. I will let them know that I value integrity and allegiance to the nation, not a lawless political bully and that I will hold them accountable for their actions moving forward.

The opportunity I see with historically different mid-term election, makes me excited about the opportunity to encourage lawmakers to address issues like immigration reform, climate change, crime, and truth in information in the public square. These are issues where we share common concerns and so if we join forces as citizens and insist, I anticipate a robust debate that can result in the enactment of changes that benefit the nation moving forward.

I understand that folks are busy with time-consuming and energy-sucking activities like earning a living, getting an education, raising a family, keeping house, and just having some fun here and there. That’s life. And for many years that was my life as well. However, throughout all those years, I still made time to vote. I fully acknowledge that there are more distractions today that make voting more challenging for busy folks. In my early years, a more reliable news media and local election boards made it easier to select candidates and to vote at the polls. Aggressive journalists kept politicians on their toes so that issues were more important than personality. Living in an affluent area, the longest I had to wait in line to cast a ballot was 15 minutes. These days, because California is awesome, I vote by mail for even greater convenience. Other states don’t have it so well. In recent years I started hearing about people standing in line for 9-11 hours in poor urban areas to exercise their right to vote. That’s one way to make it harder to vote. But there are others.

In the pre-Trump era, politicians were far more truthful and less hypocritical because there were scores of journalists ready to expose lies and misdeeds. Candidates or office holders who lied or misbehaved in egregious ways were shamed into apologies or disqualification for office. They either withdrew their candidacy or resigned from office. Most Democrats still do this, but Republicans do not. Since Trump, public shaming no longer works on Republicans. They keep their eyes on the prize that power brings and just wait out any bad press. In addition, they created their own news media outlets to minimize, hide, or simply lie about their misdeeds while actively accusing Democrats of egregious acts. I’ve said repeatedly that Republican accusations of wrongdoing keep turning out to be confessions. But it doesn’t seem to matter. Hypocrisy has become the norm and they use “Christian” forgiveness as a tool to excuse a multitude of their own misbehaviors but deny that same grace when it comes to Democrats. Go figure.

It seems that everyday people are just too busy to care these days. Republican strategists determined that it was advantageous to replace actual journalists with commentators on television and radio and social media to spread misinformation, ignore truth and bad behavior, while stoking unfounded fears and openly enraging their audience against Democrats with baseless claims of stealing an election, communism, open border policies, defunding the police, pedophilia, and child sacrifice in their devil worship. With an older audience groomed to trust the media and people too busy or too ignorant to fact check, they found this to be an effective way to lure people away from Democrats while promoting candidates who will push a White Christian Nationalist agenda that suits the religious values of some, the white supremacist social values of others, and the power and wealth agenda of a few. This is the coalition that was formed to “Make America Great Again” while actually destroying the moral fabric and democratic underpinnings of the Republic.

History has shown that when the majority of people are too busy living their lives to notice a radical political shift against their freedoms, a minority of voters who are hyper-focused, hyper-motivated, and hyper-scared of progressive changes they seize power. The motivated minority are otherwise reasonable people who are fed an overwhelming amount of misinformation, fear mongering, and hateful rhetoric coming from charismatic voices. Those voices have a tyrannical agenda posing as protection from manufactured evils. With the majority busy living their lives, elections swing in a direction that is detrimental to freedom and democracy. The many will suffer at the hand of the few before they realize what has happened.

We’ve already seen the consequences of the 2016 election. We now have a Supreme Court that repeatedly upholds a White Christian Nationalist agenda as the law of the land, overturning Roe v. Wade and poised to overturn Affirmative Action. Next will be gay marriage and transgender rights. White Christian Nationalists are on the ballot in every state, and they are counting on the majority of Americans to be too busy to notice their actual agenda or to even vote. MAGA folks have even taken to voter intimidation in some places. And even the polls can no longer be trusted to accurately predict the outcomes of elections since they screw towards older white Americans who have the time to take them. In 2016 people who were polled were too embarrassed to admit that they were going to vote for Trump and so the polls were misleading. I pray they are again off the mark and that Democrats will be able to win governor races, secretary of state races, and hold both the House and Senate. But without a huge turnout of voters, winning is not certain and I fear what is in store for our nation.

If MAGA Republicans win this election and keep on winning, LGBTQ rights will be rolled back. Not only abortion, but contraceptives will be banned. Social Security and Medicare will be on the chopping block. Clean energy and climate change initiatives will be rolled back. It will be harder to vote for the changes because voting rights will be suppressed. Actual science and history will be subject to religious and ideological changes. Diversity, equity, and inclusion will be replaced by legalized discrimination. Law enforcement will be permanently outgunned by vigilantes and criminals alike. The streets will overflow with the blood of innocent lives. Prisons will explode with dissenters, LGBTQ folks, doctors, and people of color falsely accused and plea-bargained into prison sentences. Americans will die from the lack of clean water and air, increased natural disasters due to climate change, and the inability to afford adequate healthcare. And make no mistake, this country will become a theocracy where vocal professors, musicians, artists, filmmakers, and writers are silenced.

It sounds ridiculous and unbelievable. It sounds too ludicrous to even believe such a society could exist in the U.S., but that is where this nation is headed if the majority of Americans don’t vote in this election and the next. Things will get bad as rights are stripped away by a minority of white religious nationalists who have guns and political power. My greatest fear is that busy people will allow this to happen and then suddenly they won’t be so busy anymore. And then all hell will break loose.