Month: March 2023

I’ve always been a fighter. And I’ve chosen my vote, my pen, and my pocketbook as my weapons of choice. You generally won’t find me protesting in the streets, although I have marched on occasion. You will find me either boycotting or actively supporting certain businesses, participating in online debates on social justice issues, and speaking publicly about issues I believe are important. I regularly donate to specific political campaigns and political organizations like Moveon. org and Emily’s List. And I haven’t missed voting in an election since I was 18 years old. I recognized long ago that I can’t afford to be uninformed and silent in a society where leaders must be forced to recognize my value and full human rights.

This past week, I heard Representative Bob Good (of Virginia) on C-Spann Washington Journal say some pretty egregious things in favor of “parental rights” that were not only inaccurate but downright dangerous. And so, I wrote him a letter even though I am not in his district. Below is an excerpt from the letter I sent him. I share it with hopes that my readers will be encouraged to also communicate with lawmakers across the country on issues that affect us all.

March 23, 2023

Dear Representative Bob Good,

I saw you on C-Spann Washington Journal this morning and was deeply disturbed and greatly disappointed by your insistence that biological sex is perfectly created by God to be male or female and that science confirms this.  Either you are ignorant of the science or worse, you are intentionally misleading the American public on the issue.

Because you are in a position of leadership to help make laws in this country, I believe you have a duty to be informed of the facts and also to exercise a high level of integrity. With that in mind, I am providing you with the link to the Scientific American www.scientificamerican.com .  Look for an October 22, 2018 article titled, “Sex Redefined: The Idea of 2 Sexes is Overly Simplistic” with the byline, “Biologists now think there is a larger spectrum than just binary female and male”.  I strongly suggest that Congress bring in scientific and medical experts to learn more on the topic before passing laws that are harmful to real Americans who do not fit the binary you articulated on national television to the detriment of many.  The same can be said about the GOP stance on abortion in many respects.  There is a willful ignorance on the topic.

I learned that there are multiple variations in the sex chromosomes beyond the simple XX and XY makeup. While working as a university educator, I encountered several intersex students whose parents literally were asked to choose their gender assignment at birth.  Sometimes the parents got it wrong because guest what, scientists have discovered that our brains have a gender that might not match with our sexual anatomy and these brain differences can actually be observed.  Sex is not just a function of anatomy, but brain neuropathways as well.      

On a practical note, good teachers are trained to care for their students as whole people because we understand that learning cannot take place when a student is hungry or experiencing emotional trauma.  Discovering that one is gay or realizing that you are a female trapped in a male body are traumatic events in a person’s life.  Unfortunately, your Party is making the trauma worse by further ostracizing these students and by making being different something to be ashamed of.  I have a nephew who is gay.  He knew it early on and thankfully he had parents who were accepting and so he was able to come out to them. Not every young person has that luxury.  I’ve had many college students who came out to me (not their parents) and many more who came out only after they graduated from college because the stigma was too great to bear.  Forcing teachers to out a child to their parents is wrong!  Some parents are narrow-minded and downright abusive. There is a reason some students choose NOT to tell their parents!  I do not believe that parents have a RIGHT to know. I would wager that your parents don’t know everything about you!  

I also find your stance on parent’s rights to be one-sided.  Parents like me believe I should have the right to help my child to get the medical attention I believe is necessary to preserve his or her mental and physical health.     

Your insensitive and ignorant policies will literally drive-up bullying, homelessness, and suicides among these young people. Perhaps that is okay with you because you might hold a religious belief that being LGBTQ+ is sinful.  That’s fine on a personal level but not a public policy level in our laws.  That goes against our Constitution!  Our children should be taught the truth found in science and save the religious beliefs for churches and homes where they belong. 

In closing, I urge you to educate yourself or stop misleading the American people, and I insist that you pass laws that honor the actual freedoms guaranteed to us in the Constitution for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness as opposed to promoting the right to discriminate and oppress others based on a particular religious belief.  Sounds more like the Taliban to me. 

Sincerely,

Dr. Juanita Hall

Voting citizen of the United States

I recognize that watching the news everyday can leave a person feeling depressed, discouraged, and even helpless. I’ve heard intelligent people say things like, “What’s the use?” or “Nothing’s going to change” or “No one will listen to me”. But I retort with the quote attributed to Edmund Burke, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” I’m also fond of reminding people that “Silence is consent” (taken from Plato who reportedly said, “Your silence gives consent”).

I sincerely believe that there are more of us good humans than those currently perpetuating the evil of misinformation and a roll back of our civil liberties. Many of must get off the sidelines and do something to turn the tide toward justice and liberty for all.

This week I gifted promotional products from my current passion project, “The Fully Present Better Human Project“, to the three other women who gathered to help cast my grandson Ryder’s hands and feet in plaster. Aside from my daughter, the three other women were also over 60. One was Ryder’s other grandmother, another was his second cousin, and the third was the woman leading the casting project who was a friend of my daughter. Helping new parents cast their children’s hands and feet to create memorable pieces of art was her passion project. I soon discovered that each of us were pursuing passion projects beyond our actual careers.

A passion project is productivity driven by a determination to meet a need or express ones’ values, interests, and creativity. It is a passion of the soul that transcends the desire for compensation and recognition. It is something that one must do. Some passion projects feed our souls through the arts while others serve humanity through invention, problem solving, advocacy, or hands on intervention. I think of the many church pianists or choir directors who contribute their time and expertise every week. I think of those who house the homeless or feed the hungry. I think of those who start organizations, foundations, or charities to meet human needs like Habitat for Humanity where former President Jimmy Carter spent his retirement. Or organizations like NAMI who advocate for the mentally ill by educating society while pushing for improvements in public policy. People can have multiple passion projects throughout their lives or at least contribute to the passion projects of others. I know I have had a few passion projects throughout my life and have supported many others.

My very first passion project was in creative writing when I was eleven years old. I started with a simple poem to express my gratitude after becoming a Christian. I went on to write poems for church programs and plays for youth groups. I tried to write songs from melodies that popped in my head, but one mocking comment from a family member cut that endeavor short. I journaled on a daily basis which eventually led to this weekly blog. I passed the AP English exam and earned an A in my upper division writing class at the USC. On my own, I continued to study grammar and I attended multiple creative writing workshops. I started a magazine, called “Rejoice” (a magazine “for becoming Christian women”) that I ultimately abandoned because of a horrific business betrayal. By my early thirties, I had written three (yet to be published novels). I turned down a publishing offer because as the mother of three, I could not commit to the promotional travel schedule terms laid out in the contract. The novels remain tucked away with my thought to one day revisit them and perhaps self-publish them.

I’ve had other passion projects over the years. In junior high, I wanted to help change the culture of my all-black junior high school that was riddled with daily fights and poor academics. I started the “Get it Together Club” and held school wide rallies to instill a pride in black excellence. After my own children went to college and I was working in education at the University level, I wanted to share my knowledge of the educational system to guide other black parents on how to prepare their children for higher education. I created “Reachable Heights”, a non-profit with the sole purpose of educating parents on how to navigate the educational system, parent for academic success, and understand the college admission requirements and process. The first years were spent raising the funds to pay for the workshop equipment, workbooks and supplies. The years of doing workshops and guess speaking on the topic were productive and fulfilling and I’m hopeful that many parents and children benefited.

I was blessed that my 25 years in higher education as a full-time administrator and occasional part-time professor was a fulfillment of my passion to educate and advocate for diversity, equity, and inclusion as a means to create a better society. That passion continues in my retirement, especially as our society experiences the inevitable pushback from those who feel threatened by rapidly changing racial demographics and a cultural shift away from discrimination against marginalized groups. I always warned my students that those who benefit from discrimination will never willingly relinquish the power to discriminate unless they see a personal benefit, feel morally obligated, or are secure enough to do so.

I created the “Fully Present Better Human Project” in response to the current times. It is my passion to spread the message of the nine principles that I believe will make for a safer and more equitable society for everyone. The project is simply a commitment to be better as human beings living among other “equally valuable” human beings. It is an acknowledgment that collectively we aren’t giving our best to create a society that is as just, equitable and safe as we desire. In truth, we are backsliding. The goal of the Project is to inspire, fortify, and empower those who want progress. The Project espouses the idea that when we do better, our society will be better for everyone, including those we love and care about.

To help spread the message and to support the cost of the project, I created a bunch of promotional products for sale. My hope is that those who appreciate the message will learn the principles and spread the message by using the everyday products I made available. The website I created details the project and has a store where the promotional products are sold. Visit at www.fullypresentbetterhuman.com and become part of the push for better humans.

In my later years, I’ve come to realize that passions when acted upon become “passion projects” and these can go a long way toward personal fulfillment while also improving the lives of others. I feel fortunate to have had the support of family and friends as well as the financial resources needed to pursue multiple passion projects in my life.

At one point in my life, I was content to remain a step-grandparent to my husband’s grandchildren. It didn’t seem likely that my biological three children were going to procreate. But then, later in life, they decided to become parents and I was thrust into the role of grandmother as soon as I retired. How convenient for them in the sense that I had the time and freedom to devote to my family, but how difficult for them as older parents dealing with pregnancy, childbirth, post-partum, breastfeeding and sleepless nights.

I have a difficult time relating because I had my children during my twenties when my body was at its peak and fully energized, so everything seemed to be a lot easier. I had easier pregnancies, easier deliveries, easier post-partum, fewer breastfeeding issues, and sleepless nights weren’t much of a hardship. I was young and naive, so I eagerly accepted childcare advice from my mother. The few books at my disposal were helpful, too, as was the occasional advice from my pediatrician. My friends and I raised our babies together and that was a huge support. Because of the pandemic and the reality that most of their friends aren’t new parents anymore and the fact that many are too busy with careers to spend quality time together, they are on their own. They seem much more isolated than I ever was. Of course, there was also no Facebook or Instagram upon which to post my new parenting experiences and pictures for others to like or to judge.

This past week, my son-in-law mentioned the experience of having his son circumcised and my daughter and I were bombarded with hateful comments from anti-circumcision advocates. Parenting is hard enough without the public scrutiny and harsh judgment of strangers. These were haters who took it upon themselves to attack their decision to have their baby circumcised and to attack me as a grandparent for not stopping them. As though I had any say in the matter.

And I truly do not have an actual say in anything. I’ve learned the hard way that much of my role as a grandmother is to worry (and pray) in private about the welfare of my grandchildren and to provide only the advice that is welcome. It is really hard to harness a wealth of experience and knowledge into the best combination of timing and tact and sensitivity and humility and gentle nudging and soft encouragement to help give much needed guidance to insecure, exhausted, yet mature new parents who are not as naive as I was, nor as receptive to guidance. The balancing act, which I often get wrong, has led my children to label me as “pushy” at times. I’ve been the target of a lot of anger these days for simply raising concerns, directing them to research, or sharing personal experiences and that’s no fun It’s not lost on me how they gladly accept my generosity of time and treasure in support, but how knowledge, concerns, and advice must be approached with so much constraint, caution, and consideration that it’s sometimes a bit annoying to the point of just wanting to bite my tongue altogether.

In many instances, I’ve adopted the attitude of “let them figure it out” if my grandchild can safely survive a given situation. I realize that they will learn through trial and error, or they can avail themselves to YouTube videos like my son-in-law did when confronted with the issue of how to safely introduce their three large house dogs to their newborn son. It was a scary situation that to my knowledge they hadn’t given any consideration to until I was forced to carefully bring up the topic a second time after pressure from other family and friends. Although the topic was initially met with anger, it was well worth the attack. I think the gravity of the situation must have finally sunk in because my son-in-law turned on the television to watch six YouTube videos on the topic. He developed a winning strategy to safely introduce the dogs to Ryder and vice versa. It worked. He brought home a used receiving blanket from the hospital to introduce Ryder’s scent to the dogs prior to his arrival. The dogs were not initially allowed near my daughter and the baby for the first few days just as a mother dog disallows anyone close to her puppies. They accepted the space and have continued to give the baby his space. Disaster averted.

Being a grandmother is like walking a fine line between benefactor, cheerleader, and unwelcome guidance counselor. It entails a whole lot of prayer, sleepless nights, and sacrifice of time and treasure to ensure the best for the parents and the grandchildren. But most of all it is a reminder that the capacity to love is limitless and reminds me how my heart has the capacity to expand to love more people without fear or failure to give my all even when important aspects of what I have to give sometimes feel unwelcome and unappreciated.

I’ll begin this post by saying that I am a huge fan of the book, “Just Mercy” by Bryan Stevenson. He is absolutely right that the current criminal justice system targets and criminalizes our black children as though they were adults with mature brains. I must also state that I support those aspects of the Black Lives Matter Movement that seek to end police brutality, racial profiling, the over-policing of black neighborhoods, for profit prisons, and the unfair incarceration with harsher sentencing of blacks as compared to other racial demographics. However, I am against the notion of “defunding the police” because it would be disingenuous to assert that police don’t have an important role to play in investigating and prosecuting actual crimes, regardless of the race of the criminal. That said, I understand why New York elected Eric Adams as major and why Laurie Lightfoot lost her bid for re-election for major of Chicago. Crime is out of control and victims of crime, many of whom look like me, are scared that the crime situation will continue to get worse, leaving us prisoners in our own homes. And honestly, there is good reason for the fear.

In my early thirties, I considered becoming part of the rehabilitation of young women caught up in criminal activity. However, after just one visit to the juvenile detention center where I talked to individual young women and observed their group therapy session, I was convinced that I was ill-equipped to meet these young women where they were. I couldn’t relate to their way of thinking at all. In fact, I found the chasm between their sense of morality and mine to be too wide to even imagine where to begin to build bridges that would allow us to share a common language, let alone a common set of values to build upon. Some were clearly sociopaths, some had learning disabilities, while others received their moral upbringing from adults unable or unwilling to instill the basics of social norms. They were all victims of trauma, desperate to survive. I had compassion for their situation but no way to reach them. It was like we were from different planets, speaking a different language and living by different social rules.

What I observed were young women with low self-esteem who were raised in poverty, had little to no empathy, were poorly educated, and yet had a sense of entitlement that baffled my mind. There was no sense among them that others deserved respect or had any rights to security in their person or property. They took what they wanted or needed by any means necessary whether manipulation, theft, or violence. Might seemed to make right. In that place, it was apparent that mental toughness and physical strength determined the pecking order. With all the guards around, I didn’t fear for my safety, yet I felt a strange uneasiness by the predatory looks I saw directed at me. I saw young women calculating how they could use my presence to their advantage. These were young women who were in survival mode. They had been abused, neglected, and knocked around their entire short lives and now they viewed others as a means to their survival. I left the facility that day, not only discouraged, but feeling helpless to turn any of these girls around. I didn’t blame them for their predicament; I blamed the adults who were supposed to nurture and protect them but failed to do any of it. I hoped that there were other women who were equipped to mentor these young women into becoming productive members of society as opposed to allowing them to become more cunning and dangerous predators.

I guess I view most actual criminals to this day as predators who have little respect for the lives and property of others. Except for the few with actual social disorders, I continue to blame the system of oppression we live under in addition to the generations of adults who brought them into the world and then failed to raise them. The saying goes that hurt people, hurt people. Among my African Americans peers, I’ve witnessed the emotional trauma caused by discrimination, racism, violence, and low self-esteem. All contributed to a sustained poverty that is difficult to break free of. The reality is that it takes an extra-ordinary level of resilience, resourcefulness, and intelligence to overcome the legacy of slavery and ongoing systemic racism and prejudice in a society that is anti-black at its core. White people like to ignore the systemic obstacles while pointing to the few successful blacks as if their rise from poverty proves that success is likely if only black culture wasn’t so lazy and violent at its core. What a lie and a false justification for over-policing and outrageous incarceration rates, many from unfair plea deals.

So, we have a lot of hurt and neglected young women bringing babies into this society without the capacity to adequately nurture and effectively guide them because they themselves received too little nurturing and not enough proper guidance. Many of the young women at the detention center were already mothers whose children were in foster care or being raised by relatives. The reality is that mothers learn how to mother from their own mothers, passing neglect and abuse from one generation to the next.

Over the years, from childhood to adulthood, I’ve silently observed abusive black mothers in their homes, in church, at the beauty shop, and at the grocery store. Each time, I’ve lamented the damage being done and I knew I had to mind my own business because not one of those women would tolerate my intervention. Impoverished, traumatized, uneducated, and desperate people are the most dangerous people and unfortunately, these people exist among us in growing numbers. The more children born into poverty to traumatized women, the greater the number of desperate people seeking survival by any means available to them. However, there are ways to mitigate the problem.

The first is to nurture other people’s children every chance we get. It means taking the time and effort necessary to engage the children in our lives, especially those who appear to lack nurturing and guidance. We must support community efforts to boost the self-esteem of black girls and boys through role modeling, empathy, education, programs, career opportunities, and access to health care, including abortion care. We need to treasure and raise our children in community to ensure that each black child (and their mother) receives the nurturing, love, encouragement, support, guidance, and financial stability they deserve. If we see each black child as our responsibility, fewer will grow up with that dangerous survival mentality. My mother was a very nurturing person, but so were my maternal grandparents and so were my aunts and uncles. They surrounded us with love, guidance, correction, and financial stability. Because of extended family (including church family) and a few nurturing schoolteachers, we grew up with high self-esteem, a good work ethic, and respect for others. Thankfully, our run-in with law enforcement have only included traffic tickets (sometimes without merit) and profiled traffic stops for driving while black.

The second thing we can do is push our city leaders to reform our police departments. We must insist that they hire mentally stable police officers who actually want to protect and serve the community because we know that bad actors really do exist. We must report every unfair traffic stop and disrespectful police officer. We must demand that there be accountability for anti-black policing, charging, and sentencing in the criminal justice system.

The third thing we can do is demand more of our education system so that our children receive an equitable education. We should be pouring our resources into our schools and insisting that the children in our lives excel in school. We need to show up at School Board meetings to demand that our history be taught and that every teacher in our schools is actually qualified to teach. Under the pressure of violence, crazy parents, and low pay, good teachers are leaving the profession and children will suffer the consequences. A teacher without training will set children back and black children have suffered under this problem for years and it is only becoming worse. As parents and relatives of black male students, we must insist that our boys do better in the classroom than on the playing field. We should ask to see their report card before asking when their next game is. Let’s remind them that they should be scholar-athletes, but not just athletes.

The school to prison pipeline that we are witnessing must stop and we ourselves must be the ones to stop it. Those of us who, by the grace of God, have managed to escape the generational trauma of poverty, neglect and violence have a special responsibility to help others to find their way, too. It may be through mentoring in a juvenile detention center or it may be through tutoring, teaching Sunday School, coaching, becoming a Big Brother or Big Sister, or giving to a local foodbank. It may be getting more involved as an aunt, uncle, older cousin, or grandparent.

For several years, I’ve taught parenting classes. I’ve been on community panels against racial profiling that spoke directly to police cadets. I’ve mentored countless black college students and young black professionals throughout my career. I’ve actively raised scholarship funds. These days, I donate monthly to the Boys and Girls Club of Detroit, Michigan. And now, I am encouraging others to get involved. Each of us can assume a role and we must if we want to combat crime instead of being consumed by it.