Today is the last day of 2023 and I’m just thankful that I survived the year. It was a tumultuous year, filled with incredible highs and accompanied by far more struggles and stressors than usual. Huge highlights in 2023 included the birth of two of my three grandsons, our family photo shoot for my birthday, my aunt’s birthday party, and an abundance of rain in Southern California. Beyond that happiness, the year was filled with the stress that comes with supporting immediate family members as they leaned on me through miscarriages, multiple surgeries, long visits to emergency rooms, multiple cancer biopsies (including one of my own), a lot of chronic pain, mental health challenges, crazy work stressors, childcare issues, and of course the fight to preserve our democratic republic. Covid-19 remained a concern for us, and it also seemed like I woke up every other day to learn that a friend or a public figure I admired had passed on. On balance, it was a rough year.
To say that I was physically and mentally drained by the unrelenting demands of 2023 is an understatement. Despite all the family issues, I felt compelled to remain engaged in the fight to help prevent our nation from falling victim to white “Christian” nationalism rule. The threat to our collective civil liberties is real and I could never forgive myself if I stayed silent in the face of this threat.
So, even though it was painful, I stayed informed by watching Congressional hearings on C-Span, reading the newspaper, watching documentaries, and listening to the commentary of historians, legal minds, and political scientists. I vented a lot on Facebook and Instagram. I took part in Tic Tok political discussions. I wrote about issues in this blog. I sent letters to the President, to congressional representatives in both the House and Senate, to the Department of Justice, and to the Democratic National Committee. I donated to political candidates, to civil rights organizations bringing lawsuits, and to political activist organizations fighting for our democracy. Even though I was exhausted, I stayed engaged. Admittedly, I lacked the emotional capacity to engage in arguments over the wars in Israel and Ukraine. I found myself repeatedly tuning everything out as a survival mechanism, for which I feel some guilt. However, I recognized that I was operating on emotional overload and sought moments of relief whenever possible, otherwise I would have fallen into paralyzing despair.
I found moments of respite each day in prayer, morning stretches and walks, music, puzzles, experimenting with new recipes, cleaning, gardening, computer games, and Korean dramas. However, unlike in previous years, a call or text for assistance inevitably ended my rest too soon. Sometimes I couldn’t even get through a meal without some calamity presenting itself. This was 2023. Never enough time to fully recharge my physical and emotional battery.
I guess my greatest challenge in 2023 was the lack of personal relaxing time to fully recharge and reflect. However, I am truly grateful that all of my loved ones survived the year with our relationships intact, with our finances in order, and with enough emotional health to hope for a better 2024.
I know that too many people are hurting and remain in harm’s way as the new year begins tomorrow. There are too many people who are struggling with loss, instability, and fear of the future. Much of this is the result of the poor decisions made by those in power. The masses suffer when the greedy for wealth, power and pride are allowed to lead.
While my wish for every reader and for the world is a safe and much happier 2024, I recognize that wishing is not nearly enough. 2024 will continue to be a year of struggle that will require the focus and engagement of every thoughtful and considerate human being if we are to secure a brighter future than our recent past. We need good leadership. I just pray that I find the stamina to do my part to ensure that.