Month: June 2025

Every public official, including federal workers, military personnel, and elected officials up to the vice president, swear an oath to the Constitution of the United States. The oath is required by our Constitution and is found in Article VI, Clause 3. Their oath is a solemn promise that reads, “I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God.”

The president takes a slightly different oath that reads, “I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

What we are collectively witnessing today are Republican public officials, including Supreme Court judges, forsaking their oath in favor of allegiance (or at least silence) to President Trump’s assault on our Constitution, especially our basic rights and the rule of law spelled out in it. Specifically, they are empowering and enabling him to strip away our Constitutional protections such as birthright citizenship, free speech, the right to assemble, the right to choose our own path to happiness, equal rights under the law, a free press, and due process. I find it alarming that they are blatantly ignoring the entire purpose upon which our country and its Constitution was established.

Our Constitution begins with “We the people” (not a monarch) are responsible for creating a more perfect union wherein we establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for our common defense and promote the general welfare and ensure the blessings of liberty for ourselves and our future generations. We do this by electing representatives to pass laws, confirm federal judges and high-level public officials, and to keep the executive branch in check on our behalf. Sadly, we elected a Republican majority who are using the fact of their narrow election win (based on false pretenses) to forsake the Constitution and their oath to protect and defend it.

I watched in horror as Senator Mitch McConnell ignored the pleads of young activists to have a conversation with them about their concerns. He refused to even look at them as he hightailed it to an elevator. Most Republican representatives are refusing to face their constituents at Town Hall meetings because they don’t want to hear people voicing their anger over their betrayal of their oath to the Constitution and their refusal to hold Trump accountable for blatant violations. Republican representatives are clearly not representing “we the people”. They are in lock step with the President, pursuing the interests and agenda of white Christian nationalists and wealthy campaign donors.

It’s become obvious that they will allow Trump to declare himself king as he violates the Constitution, enacts cruel policies, and enriches himself. Their collective strategy is to erode the Constitution along with the systematic silencing of any who may attempt to stand up for it. They use their megaphones on Fox News and social media platforms along with insults and lawsuits to silence journalists. They coerce oppositional law firms by cutting off their access to government buildings. They defund intellectual centers that provide scientific research if they refuse to promote their white nationalist agenda in their classrooms. They fire any government employees who insist on upholding the value of “liberty and justice for all” otherwise known as DEI. And they make a spectacle of arresting vocal citizens and lawmakers using humiliating brutal force when challenged.

Unfortunately, they have a majority on the Supreme Court thanks to the unethical maneuverings of Senator Mitch McConnell. It’s the same Court that ruled that Donald Trump could break the law so long as he is acting in his official capacity as president. So much for the long-held view of the Founders that no one is above the law. Now the president is. This past week, they voted 6 to 3 to disallow federal judges to issue nationwide bans on clearly unconstitutional executive orders. They expect “we the people” to sue for our individual constitutional rights if they are violated by executive orders. In other words, if our Constitutionally guaranteed rights are violated by executive order, it is up to us to file a class action lawsuit to insist upon restoring them. Their decision left Trump’s unconstitutional ban on birthright citizenship in place in those states that haven’t challenged it. Imagine a child being born “state-less” unless his parents have the ability to sue for his or her citizenship. Many class action lawsuits are in our immediate future. In fact, some were filed (or amended) within hours of this Supreme Court ruling. This past ruling is no less ridiculous that their ruling that the immigrants who were illegally arrested and deported without a hearing have to sue for their due process rights. In other words, our Constitutional rights are no longer guaranteed, but up for debate if we have the time and money to insist upon them in court.

These are dangerous times for Americans who don’t fit the white nationalist’s agenda or who are not independently wealthy. The Republicans are working to enshrine a two-class system where people will fall into one of two categories: low wage earners, uneducated, chronically ill, beholden to the generosity of others, subjected to a military draft, and with unprotected Constitutional rights. The other category are the wealthy. These folks have no limits on their accumulation of wealth even if it means destroying the earth in the process. They protect their Constitutional rights because they have the financial means to do so. They can buy healthcare, education, and clean up after natural disasters. They can buy their way out of military service by sending their kids to private school and they can purchase expensive bunkers to protect them from any bombs that may fall. They will have the time and means to vote in elections.

I’m convinced that Republicans believe that discriminating against certain people will lead to their desired class systems. Their policies are designed to maintain or propel ambitious white Christian men to economic wealth with all the political and social power in the country. As seen by the cabinet picks, qualifications don’t matter; whiteness and loyalty do. They want white women to return to white men as their domestic servants in exchange for economic and social protection. They want to enact legal discrimination to eventually force people of color, religious minorities, and LGBTQ folks into a permanent underclass without civil rights, wallowing in untreated illnesses, poor living conditions, lack of education, subject to over-policing and prison slave labor, and perpetually desperate to earn poverty wages to at least exist. And they want LGBTQ folks to simply disappear.

The problem is that white male superiority is a myth. They aren’t now nor have they ever been the smartest, the most talented, the most courageous, the most innovative, nor the most driven. White Christian nationalists lack an understanding that human traits are spread across the human race without regard for color or gender. What those white men in the past possessed was access to weapons and a willingness to use them against others to force their will upon them. They lacked empathy, decency, and foresight. Their perverted thinking only led to endless wars, bloodshed, and human suffering.

The White Christian nationalists in our government are no different from the Taliban who are forcing their perverted religious will upon an entire population through violence. But notice how their country is unable to prosper. When you silence the intelligent, the talented, the innovative, and the driven within your population, you not only make people miserable, but you make prosperity impossible to achieve. The same will be true of these white Christian nationalists. They will destroy this nation and many lives if we allow it.

Today, I call upon my readers to join me in financially investing in one or more of the law organizations working to stand up for our Constitution and our individual Constitutional rights. These include the NAACP Legal Defense Fund, the ACLU, Public Citizen Litigation Group, Lambda Legal , Democracy Defenders Fund, The Institute for Constitutional Advocacy and Protection at Georgetown University, and Democracy Forward.

In addition, it is important to never agree in advance to give up our rights or to subject ourselves to a king. Support the “No Kings 2.0” protest on July 4th organized by local chapters of Indivisible by promoting it, donating to it (I do this), helping to organize, or taking to the streets. There is also a “Free America” event organized by Women’s March on the weekend of the Fourth of July and a “Good Trouble Lives On” scheduled for July 17th. We are in this together and we must act as “we the people” to protect and defend our Constitution on Independence Day 2025 and beyond.

I spent most of June 14th watching the live feed on YouTube and Instagram of the “No Kings Day Protest” from the comfort of my sofa. I listened to multiple speeches and read a great number of signs. I nodded approval of those who went the extra mile to create clever posters and costumes for the protests. About 5-6 million people showed up to approximately 2200 protests across the country. And one brave soul was a woman in my senior center knitting group (an 80+ Latina immigrant from South America). She marched in protest that day against her son’s advice. Everyone else in the group agreed with the need to protest but didn’t go, including me. But that was expected.

Notably absent from the crowds were black faces, although there were a few charismatic black speakers. I explained to my group that I was tempted to go, but I had made a commitment not to. I explained that I identify with the 97% of black women who supported and voted for Kamala and did our best to warn the country of the impending danger of voting for Trump. The election forced us to realize that this conflict had to be fought among white and brown people who had yet to decide among themselves the difference between right and wrong. I explained that a large black presence could be counterproductive. The country is desensitized to our protests. And most importantly, the opposition would be relieved to see black people put their bodies on the line so that they could unleash a violent response without restraint. Our absence gives members of law enforcement pause and makes the protests somewhat safer. So, I didn’t go and won’t be attending these protests in person. I will promote them, watch them, and applaud them from the sidelines. I’ve even considered making signs to hand out to would-be protesters, like my white male neighbor who wanted to go protest but didn’t make it. Two of his siblings did though.

But what of the remaining women in my knitting group? Granted they are all elderly women, but all of them are still physically able-bodied. The situation reminds me of the 80/20 rule wherein twenty percent of the people complete eighty percent of the work in any given project. The eighty percent could be lazy, distracted, apathetic, disinterested or simply cautious. I don’t know why my neighbor didn’t protest that day (he’s certainly knowledgeable and passionate) but I think most of the women in my knitting group were rightly cautious. They knew about the protest and agreed with it but were too afraid to go. I understand that crowds can be scary, particularly for elderly women who fear falling, a lack of access to a restroom, and an inability to run away should things turn violent. I understand the “better safe than sorry” mindset that comes with age. So, I give them a pass. I give black people a pass. I also give babies and pregnant women a pass.

But the rest of America should consider protesting in the streets if they disapprove of the kidnappings, the incompetence, the reckless firings, the indecency, the lawlessness, the corruption, the tariffs, the book bans, the demonizing of educators, researchers, LGBTQ folks, immigrants, and scientists, the defunding of safety nets like Medicaid, food stamps, and FEMA, the bullying of law firms, universities, and news networks, the destruction of reproductive rights, the removal of environmental protections, the attacks on voting rights, and the rise of white supremacy accompanied by legal discrimination and the erasure of history.

I am a firm believer in the saying that “silence is consent”. In a nation of 350 million people, there aren’t yet enough people using their voice in opposition to this Administration. Silent opposition will not do. Complaining at the dinner table isn’t enough. Action is called for. I get that there are Trump cultists, racists, white suprematists, sociopaths, and sadists who genuinely enjoy watching the chaos, destruction, and pain of others. But I believe they make up a small minority. The latest polls indicate that Trump has a 40% approval rating. As I said to visiting neighbors just last night, I believe a good portion of those people are unaware of what is actually happening. Our neighbor’s wife cited personal encounters with people who watched Fox News and thought everything was great. We developed a strategy for disabusing them of that idea without offending them. Our idea was to share Fox’s own defense in their lawsuit for lying to their viewers about the 2020 election. They themselves claimed that they aren’t news, but entertainment. Even so, that’s still roughly 140 million people who won’t be protesting in the streets against this Administration.

We can add to that number Americans over the age of 75. They make up 7% of the population, so that’s about 25 million. Black people make up 13% of the population in the U.S. so that’s another 45 million people. Children, eleven years and younger account for about 46 million people.

That leaves a pool of 94 million people who can potentially demand a restoration of our democracy, decency, and the rule of law in street protests. The good news is that Robert Reich, a prominent professor of economics (and former Secretary of Labor), cited a study in his Saturday podcast, “The Coffee Klatch” that it only takes 3.5% of a population rising in opposition to bring down an authoritarian regime. In the U.S., that’s roughly 12 million people if you count everyone, including children. We are almost halfway there.

Thankfully, we have another opportunity to reclaim our country if enough Americans take to the streets at the “No Kings 2.0” protest on July 4th. Let’s actually earn our barbecue and fireworks this Independence Day.

For the next few weeks, our collective job is to raise awareness about the “peaceful” protest and need for protest, remove obstacles to protesting, help with logistics, become an organizer, and build up the courage to protest, if not in ourselves, in the hearts and minds of our friends and family. Let’s save our nation and its people from the horrors ahead if we do nothing. In addition to peaceful marchers in protest, I’m happy to see the cartoonists, the musicians and singers, the actors, the activists, the podcasters, the organizers, the citizen journalists, and the writers (like me) doing their part to express opposition. I’m even grateful for the table complainers (like my husband) who simply strengthen the resolve of those willing to take action. I’m optimistic that we can save our nation if just 20 percent of us are willing to do some real work.

I rarely talk about my father. If you’ve been reading my blog for a long time, you might recall my accounts of his horrific spousal abuse, our night terrors and quick escapes, my parent’s multiple attempts at marriage reconciliation, his lifelong struggle with alcoholism and his slow death by stroke at the age of 54. I was 29 years old, married with 3 young children when he died. Unlike my mother’s huge funeral, only a few showed up to mourn him. The song I selected to sum up his life was “I Did It My Way” by Frank Sinatra.

But there was another side to my father. His name was Lionel Jerome Ball. My mother called him, “Romey”. Like my mother, he was born in Mississippi, both raised in Detroit, Michigan. He came from a large well-to-do family. He grew up as a middle sibling among six children (five boys and one girl). He lost his mother to stroke at the breakfast table during his teens and later had two stepmothers. He was known to be a brilliant young man with a genius level IQ. But he was complicated. For example, he was both an honor student and a gang leader. He owned a bowling alley when he was just 15 years old. Being brilliant and ambitious as a black man in those days couldn’t have been easy.

He grew up to become a successful tax accountant with a law degree who helped many black businesses in Los Angeles get their start. He was tall, movie-star handsome, and very charming during my early childhood. His father was one of the personal bodyguards of Henry Ford and Ford paid for the college education of each of the six siblings (as well as our diapers from the factory floor) when we were babies. It was during college that my father became a member of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. My mother was a graceful, pretty, smart, and musically talented little sis to the fraternity and they fell in love. For whatever reason, they eloped instead of having a fancy wedding that I’m certain my mother would have enjoyed. They did have a fancy reception and an announcement on the black society pages to satisfy my grandparents (on both sides).

My parents had three children in quick succession (we are each only one year apart). My father made no attempt to hide the fact that I as the youngest and only girl was his favorite. He often bragged that I was the one he gave birth to because he called from law school the moment I was born. I recall being carried around to his business associates in fancy clothes as some kind of show piece. I hated the forced kisses to stranger’s cheeks. Both my parents were extroverts who I now realize had no clue how excruciating their lifestyle of social events and parties along with the endless introductions and forced affections were to an introvert.

But there were plenty of good times with my dad. He would take us to Mexico shop, watch bull fights or dog races. We’d head to Las Vegas on a whim where he’d pay the bar maid to allow us to stay on the casino floor to watch. We’d go to horse races and bet on horses, always letting us keep any winnings. We’d enjoy all kinds of restaurants. We’d have entertaining nights at home with dance competitions. Occasionally, he’d bring home candy bars, just because he wanted to surprise us with a treat. Despite everything that was great or horrifying in my parent’s relationship, I always felt the support, unconditional love, and pride of both my parents towards me even when their next breakup thrust my mother and us kids into an impoverished existence crammed into a motel, a small apartment, or living with a relative. Too escape poverty, my mother even remarried the year I turned seven. But the man was abusive to my brothers and my dad had to rescue us. During that drama, I was sent to my grandparents in Detroit for the entire summer. When I returned, we were living with my father again in his big, beautiful house with the backyard swimming pool. Predictably, their reconciliation didn’t last. I don’t think he ever forgave or trusted her for marrying another man. But they kept on trying.

I was 16 years old when my parents tried their final reconciliation. I was furious at my mother for exposing us again to his terrorism. At the height of my rebellion, I refused to make my father lemonade and he in turn attempted to strike me with a horse whip (of all things). He was too hung over to prevent me from yanking the whip out of his hands and asking, “Who has the whip now?” I didn’t hit him, but I left the house for several hours. Shortly after that incident they separated for the final time. I was relieved that my sleepless nights were finally over. Months later, I gained the strength to tell my father how his alcoholism and violence towards my mother hurt me and our entire family. He made no excuses. He didn’t even apologize. In fact, he made it clear to me that he wasn’t going to stop drinking. I told him that I forgave him anyway because I loved him. But I also set up a boundary around myself that he could never be in my presence if he had been drinking.

That is how we got along. He walked me down the isle of my marriage sober. He visited with my three children sober. We had long conversations. He gave me sound financial, career and business advice. Our relationship was solid. He and my mother remained friends, so much so that she nursed him back to health after his girlfriend poured scalding water on him in his sleep after he beat her. He went on to abuse many women over the years and I hated that about him. I once went to visit him at his home in Los Angeles only to witness an ambulance carrying away the dead body of his then girlfriend. Her teenage daughter, about my age, whispered to me that my father was responsible. I immediately apologized because given his track record and his attempts on my mother, I didn’t doubt it. But both of us knew that the Los Angeles Police cared very little about domestic abuse and even less about the death of a black woman.

Some years later, on Mother’s Day (which was also my mother’s birthday that year) he had a stroke while working in his office. He never woke up from his coma.

I happened to be a stay-at-home mom at the time, so I drove an hour and a half every day from Simi Valley to Hawthorne to visit him while the kids were in school. The nurse assured me that his vitals improved while I was there and so I just kept going to sit with him and talk. I was his only visitor aside from my mother’s occasional visit and that saddened me, but did not surprise me. It had been the same when he was hospitalized for a bleeding ulcer. His alcoholism had not only destroyed his health and taken away his driving privileges but had alienated many people.

Our annual vacation was the third week of June, and he was still lingering in the hospital. He was terminal and they were about to move him to a hospice care nursing facility. Even though children were not allowed on the ward, on the day we were heading to San Diego for our family vacation, I was determined to give my children the opportunity to say goodbye to their grandfather whom they had only known as kind, funny, generous and good natured. The nurse saw me with my husband and our three kids and chose to ignore us. The kids kissed him and hugged him in his unconscious state. I told him I loved him and that we were going away for a week.

Midway through our vacation, I had a very vivid dream that I was in my father’s hospital room. My parents were sitting on the edge of the bed having a lively conversation. I was in shock. He looked great. His foot that was about to be amputated, was fine. My parents were in such great spirits, and I was flabbergasted, asking them how this was even possible given that he was about to be moved to nursing hospice care. I woke up with my heart racing and reminded myself that he was still in the hospital terminally ill. Within minutes, the phone rang. It was about 6am.

My mother called to inform me that my father had passed away overnight. I told her about my dream. She didn’t say anything. In retrospect, perhaps that dream was a premonition because less than five years later, she was gone too.

On this Father’s Day, I wish everyone peace and a willingness to acknowledge that not every father is perfect. We are all flawed human beings. Granted, some are more flawed than others and I think my father fits that category. But even at his worst and most violent depraved moments, I was able to recognize his love and devotion to me as his daughter. He honored my boundaries. And for all that I am grateful. Happy Father’s Day.

I spent my Saturday morning drafting the letter below and then emailing it to every Republican senator. A few limited the word count, so I had to cut a few things, but most received this letter in its entirety. I share it with you hoping that you will be inspired to send your own email to Republican senators or to make your support for our nation and its constitution and laws known. Don’t allow your silence to become consent.

Letter:

Sleeping is difficult these days. I find myself waking up filled with anxiety, outrage, or sadness over our country’s turn away from creating a more perfect union where liberty and justice for all is an actual aspiration. I miss the country where I believed that our elected officials were decent people working to establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for our common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty for ourselves and our future children.

Instead, I am greeted each day with human beings being grabbed off the streets and forcibly detained based on the color of their skin and the language they speak. I am greeted by stupid if not unconstitutional executive orders of a president who uses foul and false accusations against immigrants, journalists, judges, teachers, prosecutors, scientists, women, transgender people, and his political enemies. The constant lying, blatant corruption, ridiculous appointments, and unjustified attacks on law firms, universities, and diversity, equity, and inclusion frustrates me to no end.

To these horrific actions coming from our White House, most of you elected officials either remain silent and too many of you are complicit. The Congress is a co-equal branch of government, but you have collectively abdicated your duty under Republican rule. The American people voted for greater safety, an end to wars, and real problem solving, even if some of the threats, underlying war issues, and problems were fabricated and misrepresented by Trump, conservative podcasters, and Fox News. People voted for false promises to address fabricated fears. People groomed to be afraid of immigrants, people of color, and trans people voted for protection. People deceived into believing that scientists are wasting their money on “transgender mice” and lying to them about vaccines and climate voted to end waste, fraud and abuse. People convinced that diversity, equity, and inclusion are the reason for their failure to get ahead voted for a false merit-based system that is nothing more than white male cronyism. Republican representatives failed to demand that their presidential candidate be worthy of the office.

The fact is that no one voted for a tariff war with the entire world that is harming businesses and raising prices. No one voted for hard working (non-criminal) mothers, fathers, and children to be disappeared off the streets because they look to be immigrants. No one voted for government workers to be sloppily fired without understanding their contribution, due cause, nor due process. No one voted to defund medical and scientific research that address human challenges. No one voted to have the safety net pulled from under the feet of the most vulnerable so that the wealthiest among us could save a few more tax dollars. No one voted to erase history, destroy public education, and roll back consumer protections. No one voted to subject themselves to climate change disasters without relief. No one voted to pardon actual criminals who did real harm. No one voted to dismantle the protections of our public health, our food, our drinkable water, and clean air. No one voted for the reverse brain-drain among students, scholars, and researchers at our universities. No one voted to destroy the tourism industry by terrorizing tourists. And certainly, no one voted to waste our tax-payer dollars on a military parade to inflate one man’s ego.

While I still have a Constitutional right to petition government, I request that you find the courage and the moral compass to reject the unconstitutional and immoral actions of President Trump. It is not enough to complain behind closed doors about actions you know are harmful to the American people and to the world. You must stand up for those who voted for you, not cower before a bully who proves every day that he wishes we were North Korea.

I want my government to work as the founders intended. Therefore, I ask that you stop this “Big Beautiful Bill” and provide us with a bill that taxes people and corporations fairly in order to pay for our priorities. As a citizen, I want you to ensure funding for an ongoing safety net for vulnerable people, to upgrade our infrastructure, to fully fund FEMA, to protect and fund medical and scientific research, to end the tariff war, to protect the rights and civil liberties of every American, to fund public education and job training, to address the broken immigration system and provide adequate temporary work visas, to safeguard public health, to protect law firms and universities from frivolous attacks, to protect our elections from billionaire influence moving forward, and to conduct oversight over the executive branch.

Like most Americans, I know this country isn’t perfect. But we can and should do better. Investing in the American people is investing in our future prosperity. Right now, we are moving in a dangerous direction, toward increasing public corruption, poorer health outcomes, indecency, ignorance, and the loss of basic civil rights. Please save us from this daily nightmare!

In the final hours before his release from the hospital, the doctor of my best friend’s husband convinced Medicare that her husband needed continued professional care at a rehabilitation facility and should not be sent home again. Weeks before, they sent him home without professional homecare, only for him to deteriorate into an excruciating rebound of his infection. My friend is a nurturing person, but she not a nurse. She is a petite 80-year-old who has serious medical issues of her own. Despite this, she was willing to again try to care for her husband who has chronic pain, no longer walks, requires diaper changes, and has signs of dementia because there was no alternative. Insurance was refusing to pay for his continued hospitalization and a home nurse was going to cost about $200 per day. She was stuck and beside herself with anxiety. I was helping as much as her pride would allow. Her sons preferred not to be bothered as they wanted to continue their lives burden-free. Thankfully, the doctor was more convincing this time and her husband was not coming home yet. My point is that accessing insurance has become a nightmare. It is no longer the safety net that we have relied on for so long. While not condoning the brutal murder of the United Health Care CEO, I understand the growing frustration towards ruthless profiteers like him who deny legitimate medical claims. And yes, my friend has her Medicare Advantage policy through United Health Care. Personally, we opted for Medi-gap coverage because there are fewer denials and fewer restrictions. It does cost more, but we receive premium reimbursement through my husband’s retirement benefits.

These days, it’s not just medical insurers that are making access difficult. At the beginning of the year, I switched my personal dental insurance policy to one sponsored by my husband’s retirement benefit. It provides higher coverage than my previous dental insurance and the premiums are reimbursed as part of his retirement benefit. However, I soon discovered that accessing the additional benefits was going to take hours on the phone. Last week, I went to my scheduled cleaning and x-ray appointment. The dentist recommended replacing an old silver filling and filling a small cavity. At the front desk, the insurance guru informed me that my new insurance policy only covered two cleanings and x-rays. She printed out the list of benefits that clearly showed that their practice was “in network” but that no dental work beyond cleanings and x-rays was covered. I knew this didn’t make any sense since the premiums alone cost more than teeth cleanings and x-rays. It took three days searching the website personal portal, two phone calls cleverly navigating AI to reach a human, and finally the completion of a “Waiting Period Waiver Form” that no one previously mentioned, to access the $2000 in dental benefits. I was nearly persuaded to forego the insurance benefit and just pay for the work out of pocket. But my need to fix that which is obviously wrong, stopped me.

Apparently, the insurance company automatically places a waiting period on new policy holders until the customer shows evidence of prior dental coverage for the previous 12 months to obtain a waiver. The problem is that they neglect to inform new policy holders, like me, of this process. I only learned of it by calling them directly after being denied coverage. Even the dental office insurance guru was unaware of a possible hold on my insurance coverage. Perhaps more disappointing is the fact that I had to call a second day because the first representative who told me about the waiver form then failed to email it to me as promised. I spent an entire day waiting for it to arrive in my inbox. I even checked my spam folder. No waiver form!

The problem with insurance these days extends well beyond medical and dental insurance. I live in California where we have wildfires and earthquakes. I know of a few friends who have been kicked off of their homeowner’s insurance because of the fire danger. Few companies will cover homes at wildfire risk for a reasonable premium, if at all. In some cases, the insurance is higher than the mortgage payment. When we were looking for houses, I purposefully steered clear of hillsides and open fields, recalling the traumatic experience of a wildfire evacuation situation in my early teens when our family home was in danger.

I’ve also experienced earthquakes, both big and small. However, earthquake insurance is not only unaffordable, but it isn’t even practical. Prior to the big 1994 earthquake, homeowner’s insurance covered earthquake damage. But after the huge damage claims insurance companies paid in 1994, earthquake insurance became a separate policy. We recently researched earthquake insurance only to learn that it would cost an additional $9000 to 12,000 per year and that the deductible is at least 15% of the replacement value of the home. That would come to anywhere from $100,000 to $150,000 before insurance ever kicked in. Most homes will not be a total loss in the event of an earthquake, so it makes little sense to purchase that costly insurance. Although terrifying, most of the damage caused by earthquakes (even in 1994) isn’t catastrophic because of strong building codes. One of my friends mentioned that she was planning to rely on FEMA if disaster struck. I had to inform her that President Trump is trying to get rid of FEMA and that the big, beautiful budget bill eliminates FEMA funding. There are several states who have already been denied federal disaster relief and others still waiting for an answer. We may already be on our own if and when a natural disaster destroys our homes.

Although a real pain, I’m still a believer in having insurance because unforeseen circumstances can ruin family finances. Unless young families are independently wealthy, they should definitely have life insurance to protect the ongoing livelihood of surviving family members. Both parents should be covered, even homemakers, because the out-of-pocket cost of childcare, cooking, and housekeeping are enormous. Even for the ten years I was a stay-at-home mom, I had a life insurance policy. As an elderly person, with independent adult children, I don’t have nearly as much life insurance as I once did. But I have enough to take care of my remains and any remaining obligations.

Of course, auto insurance for drivers is a must. We recently learned that auto insurance rates for the elderly are just as high as for new drivers. Despite not having any accidents nor traffic tickets, our premiums jumped way up when my husband turned 70 several years ago. And they just keep rising. We have two cars and neither of us drives much in our retirement and so I often question the necessity of two vehicles. But my husband prefers that we maintain our independence, so we keep paying to maintain two vehicles in addition to paying the rising premiums. My husband took a senior driving course to lower our premium and I sign a low mileage waiver every year, but our premiums remain as high as for young drivers. This wasn’t something we anticipated, but it is something we bear so we can come and go as we please. My best friend with the hospitalized husband finally realized a few days ago that her husband has been unable to drive for the past six months and she finally took him off the insurance, receiving a $500 refund in the process. I realized when helping my elderly next-door neighbors two nights ago that they no longer drive either. They are both using walkers and pay for a home care worker to assist them. I thought about the two unused cars in their garage and wondered whether they are still paying for auto insurance on them.

The point is that insurance has an important role to play in our lives. Having emergency savings set aside is just as important. So, when it comes to insurance, we need to make sure we have the appropriate amount when possible and realize that we might need both energy, patience, and a bit of persistent determination to insist on the benefits we are paying for.