Month: October 2025

If we are observant and honest with ourselves, we can acknowledge the uncomfortable truth that boys and girls are different, especially when it comes to communication. My son talked far less than my daughters when I was raising them. In fact, he started speaking later than both of his sisters and when he turned 15 years old, he basically stopped speaking altogether as if forming words was painful. His vocabulary for a couple of his teen years consisted of a series or grunts with an occasional articulate request, a yes or no response, and some short retorts when someone pissed him off. He wasn’t socially awkward but his ability to comfortably express his thoughts and emotions was never equal to the females around him. Thankfully, he was never allowed to use his fist rather than his voice to make his point, as is the manner of too many men. His preference became avoidance. That is what my husband does and what I recently observed in a disagreement with my son-in-law. They simply refuse to engage in emotionally meaningful discussions that challenge them to express themselves in words. I find that most women are far better with words than most men. Of course, there are always exceptions.

Until the socially awkward tech bros rose to extreme wealth and prominence, our society rewarded men with exceptional speaking skills. Articulate men were held in high regard by both men and women and were rewarded with prominent leadership positions. For most of our history, white men who are good with words dominated influential professions in universities, politics, law, journalism, churches, and business. Of course, white male dominance in these fields was only recently challenged and women came flooding in. Not surprisingly, the growing influence of women in highly influential positions threatens the egos and perceived livelihoods of a lot of men, particularly those who are less educated, socially awkward, and far less articulate.

Even though it was clear that both Hillary Clinton and Kamala Harris were not only far more articulate than Trump but were also more qualified for the position of president, Trump won. There are many who could not vote for Hillary Clinton nor Kamala Harris because they were female. And I surmise that many men chose Trump because he reminds them of themselves and their desire to dominate without the need for fancy words, intellectual arguments, or social graces. The fact that Trump wins by ignoring social norms and uses name calling, intimidation and brutality rather than cogent arguments, appeals to them. Trump reminds them of a time when men could take from women with impunity. He reminds them of a time when might made right. Frustrated men who felt they are unattractive and powerless in a society that has values education, articulate speech and rational behavior mistakenly feel more desirable when Trump wins. They aren’t.

I now have three young grandsons who were also slow to speak. They are sociable and understand everything, but the words are often missing or unintelligible. My second grandson, at 2 1/2 years old is going to speech therapy and the therapist acknowledged that 90% of her clients are boys. It’s not that boys aren’t as smart as girls. It could be that their brains are wired to focus more on physical tasks as opposed to conversation. For example, I converse with my adult daughters almost daily while I’m lucky to have a real conversation with my son once every few months. I find myself guessing a lot with him and him confirming whether what I’ve surmised is correct or not. For example, this past week my son sent me a random picture of his youngest son sitting naked on the toilet. I texted him, asking if this grandson was actively being toilet trained. I received a one-word response the following day, “yeah”. My girls would have explained the triumphs and challenges of toilet training and their feelings about the whole thing. I learned early on that probing my son to tell me more only annoys him. He talks all day at work, and I know how exhausting that is for him. So, I take what I can get from this hardworking devoted husband and father who is loving, law-abiding and ambitious. The differences between males and females can’t be ignored.

Lately, I’ve been noticing how quickly young men are falling behind in academic pursuits. They continue to dominate the STEM fields where verbal acumen is less valued. When I was working at the university, more female students participated in campus activities while the male students played video games in their rooms. As of today, there are more women enrolled in college than men and women are making progress in the workplace, assuming higher positions when merit-based inclusion policies are in place as opposed to cronyism. I’ll say again that women are not smarter than men, but they are generally far better at articulating their thoughts and ideas and they find collaboration and group projects easier to navigate than many men.

That said, too many men feel threatened or belittled by women who can express their thoughts and feelings better than them. It’s disturbing that so many young men are becoming increasingly isolated as the tech bros have introduced AI companions to replace actual relationships with females. For socially awkward men of few words, the fact that it is no longer acceptable to sexually abuse or silence women using intimidation is frustrating. The fact that women no longer need men to survive is even worse for their future prospects. The Republican solution to this problem is to roll back DEI, limit women’s independence, and reintroduce Christianity.

It’s no wonder men who desire relationships are finding that path through religion. Religion coerces women to assume the role of traditional wives and mothers and doesn’t require men to negotiate through communication. They may not be able to win a verbal argument, but religion allows them to continue to dominate. A lot of women have caught on and are choosing not to marry nor stay married to such men. I’m really tired of men who think they win an argument by saying, “We either do it my way, or we don’t do it at all.” These men are finding that women are choosing to not do anything at all with them permanently.

In this country, at this time, we have to meet the challenge to help men and women find a new way of communicating with each other. The answer is not a return to oppressive male chauvinism. And it certainly is not AI relationships instead. We can begin by recognizing that there are some very basic differences in communication, accepting those differences, and learning to work with them. Women will do well to appreciate the task orientation of most men and men will do well to appreciate the gift of gab among women. Maybe appreciation is the answer, not a return to discrimination to force domination.

I’m shocked by the sudden rise in prices on just about everything. Our grocery bill is higher than ever. The cost of eating out has skyrocketed. Cable got so expensive that we cancelled it in favor of paying for our favorite streaming services. Utility bills keep rising, especially electricity. And we have solar! The electric company informed us that they now need to impose a baseline charge for electricity of $25 per month despite not depending on the grid for our electricity but in fact sending them our overage. I understand that the increases are driven by the fact that Edison was sued for fires caused by downed power lines and that data centers (to power the Cloud and AI technology) are now competing for electricity and water. In recent years, renters have been dealing with rising rents. Higher education tuitions keep rising faster than inflation forcing more students into greater debt. The drastic change that few of us saw coming though was the steep rise in the cost of health insurance and homeowner’s insurance.

I have a Medicare Part G supplemental insurance plan. Last year the premium began at $142 per month and a few months later it unexpectantly rose to $178 per month. During this open enrollment period that just began on October 15th, I’ll research other Part G plan carriers. However, after listening to some of my senior friends, I’m not at all optimistic. They are paying more than me. Of course, Medicare itself is going up again from $185 to $206, higher than is typical.

While I lament our higher healthcare insurance costs, I’m worried for younger people who only have medical insurance because of the subsidies provided by the Affordable Care Act. The fight to prevent the expiration of these subsidies is the reason behind the government shutdown. Democrats are trying desperately to save them, while Republicans are keen to finally destroy the subsidies (and by extension the ACA) without a plan to insure those who rely on it. Once again, Republican representatives will be harming the very people who elected them. I don’t think this kind of reckless behavior is sustainable in the long run as people start dying, going bankrupt, or filling the emergency rooms because they lack insurance. Even worse is the probable closure of hospitals and nursing homes in rural areas. In the Big Beautiful Bill, they took away one big source of funding and replaced it with lesser funding. That’s one way to gaslight your constituents into believing you have their best interest in mind when you don’t.

We are also being made more vulnerable to financial ruin by natural disasters as this president cuts FEMA funding and threatens to withhold disaster aid from blue counties and states. This is especially scary as homeowner’s insurance policies are either cancelled, or premiums are substantially increased. Some carriers have left California and Florida altogether. One friend can’t find an insurer. Another said her premium rose from $1500 per year to $3000. We just received a letter from our carrier explaining to us that our premiums were going to go up because of the huge fires last year and the anticipated higher construction costs. While I understand their rationale, we will have to bear the increased cost for now.

I consider us lucky because we spent our entire adult lives saving for retirement. We’ll survive. My concern is for young people and young families starting out. The last couple of job reports show weakness. Of course, Trump fired the head of the Bureau of Labor Statistics because he was angry about the negative jobs report. He’d prefer to suppress bad news or lie about it. The point is that young people will need to work harder to find jobs that pay a livable wage. And even if they do, it appears that AI may displace many workers in the near future.

I think this nation is headed for a serious financial downturn. We have a president who doesn’t understand how tariffs work, who prioritizes unnecessary tax breaks for the wealthiest citizens, and wastes our tax dollars on brutal ICE raids, military parades, bombing “suspicious” fishing boats in international waters, detaining migrants in camps, and bailing out Argentina. The president demonstrates that he doesn’t understand basic math with his nonsensical promise to lower drug prices by 500, 600 and 800 percent. And his administration has spent more money running the government this year than last year despite all the unprecedented layoffs.

Now is not the time to spend money on anything that is not absolutely necessary. It certainly isn’t the time to rack up student loans nor credit card debt. Transferring to a local state university is a smart cost-saving option for students without full-tuition scholarships at private universities. For college bound students, unless a graduating senior is the recipient of a full-scholarship, the tuition-free junior college should be the destination for the first two years followed by a local state school. Even better is sending ambitious high school students to junior college to double dip on high school and college credits for subjects like math, history, science, etc. I know students who graduated from both high school and junior college in the same week and entered university as a junior. Neither parents nor students can risk going into debt to pay for college in this economy.

I’m thinking about how to thrive in this economy. As a financially able grandparent, I’m happy to help finance the upbringing of my grandsons, giving them the necessary advantages in this world. Contributing to childcare, clothes, activities, toys, and even school supplies are ways to expand their access to opportunities and reduce the financial pressures on their parents. Last year, I began passing along notable Christmas decorations to help my adult children decorate their homes without spending much.

Another way to thrive while cutting costs is to return to multi-generational living situations especially for families whose adult children are just starting out, young families, single mothers, and families with elderly parents. My neighbors across the street live in a large-enough home owned by the grandparents (my friends). Their son and daughter-in-law and two grandsons have been living with them since the grandsons were babies. I watch the parents go off to work while one of the grandparents takes the boys to school every day. I have a good friend who is doing the same with her son’s family. She still works, but her husband is retired and takes care of their grandson while everyone goes to work. Her daughter and son-in-law just moved into a house down the street so they could share in the mealtimes and access childcare more easily. She loves it. This is an option for healthy functioning families who like each other.

In healthy relationships, sharing housing costs, housework, and living expenses while also dividing up the care responsibilities for children and the elderly benefits everyone emotionally and financially. My eldest daughter and her husband are making plans to build a family compound as our family expands and we grow older. Sharing space like this could be a good option for single mothers. They could ban together under one household and share expenses and childcare.

What’s becoming evident is that young families need help with childcare and living expenses and the elderly will eventually need support too as nursing homes become unaffordable and unavailable. I have a friend who recently placed his 98-year-old mother in a nice nursing home that costs them $9000 per month. I believe they sold her house to pay for it and he and his sister are also dipping into their retirement funds. Neither of them wanted to care for her in their own homes. The reality is that most people can’t afford to do what they are doing.

I think it’s becoming evident that the old mindset of roughed individualism is fast becoming an economic relic. The economic outlook is that few people will be able to afford to own a home and raise a family in the nuclear family lifestyle we’ve become accustomed to. The elderly without family close by may perish alone. I’m aware when I look around the table at my crochet and knit group at the senior center, that the majority the women are living alone in the large homes where they raised their children. One of our friends fell in her home and was able to call a neighbor for help. It’s clear to all of us that her dementia is getting worse. However, her four children all live in different states, and she refuses to inconvenience them with her problems. I sometimes wonder if the elderly single women would do better joining forces like the “Golden Girls” living together under one roof to care for each other and share living expenses. However, we’ve been conditioned to value our independence, perhaps to our detriment. The next generation may not have that option. And I’m not so sure that that’s necessarily a bad thing given how chronic loneliness becoming a problem.

As the cost of living continues to rise and Republicans remove social safety nets in favor of tax cuts for the wealthy and the privatization of every human necessity for individual profit-making, the time to start rethinking how we live and thrive together is now because the cost of everything continues to rise.

Will decent people who maintain empathy for others, a healthy regard for right and wrong, and an enduring respect for the Constitution and the rule of law determine quick enough that these things are worth fighting for? I hope so. I know I am willing to fight. But is it because I’m in the final chapter of my life and have so little to lose personally? No. It’s because I care about the future of my children and grandchildren. I worry about the kind of life they will have if our country continues along its current path. We are experiencing a brain drain, an economic downturn, a destruction of the planet, and the erosion of morality that values all humanity. Liberty and justice for all are being challenged. It’s not looking good.

I don’t believe most Americans approve of the brutality of masked ICE agents raiding apartments, invading businesses, hospitals, courtroom halls, and smashing car windows to detain non-white men, women and children on suspicion that they may be deportable. These ICE agents aren’t interested catching dangerous undocumented immigrants; they are interested in making their arrest quotas. It’s evident that this administration is hiring violent bigoted sociopathic men and women who disregard the rule of law to carry out this operation with cruelty and brutality. It’s heartbreaking to watch. But it’s also encouraging to see courageous citizens calling them out, challenging them, blocking them, and videotaping them. Sometimes, they too are attacked by these thugs. I hope they sue and anyone falsely retained sues for violations of their civil rights.

I also don’t believe that Americans approve of the indictments of James Comey and Leticia James purely to feed Trump’s petty desire for revenge. Neither prosecution will succeed in court, not only because the accusations are demonstratively baseless, but because Trump can only find incompetent attorneys to prosecute the cases. They’ve already suffered embarrassing days in court, and more are to come if they the cases aren’t thrown out before the trials. I’m encouraged by the fact that career prosecutors refused to participate in these cases. They aren’t willing to risk their law licenses nor their professional reputations for this unwell authoritarian.

It’s clear that Americans don’t like having our freedom of speech taken away, our right to protest challenged, nor do we like having the military policing our streets. Disney learned the hard way that Americans value freedom not cowardice. Target learned this too. But not only are these military deployments wasting our taxpayer dollars, but they aren’t even serving a legitimate purpose. I’m encouraged by the judges who repeatedly rule against the Administration. I’m also encouraged by all the social media posts of everyday Americans showing the actual beauty and peace of their “war-torn” cities. The Trump Administration is continuously being exposed for their lies and false claims. Americans hate being lied to and gaslighted every day. Many just stop listening altogether.

And finally, no one likes for the government to shut down. But if an untenable rise in healthcare premiums for millions of low-income Americans is on the line, then it has to be done. Everyone feels the unfairness that the political leaders continue to be paid during the shutdown while government workers and the military do not. The Republicans would like us to believe that the Democrats are at fault for the shut down, but I think most people realize that it’s the Republicans who have no plan to keep healthcare accessible and somewhat affordable. In fact, Republicans are dismantling all safety nets that help the poorest among us. They are willing to either imprison or allow poor people to die in favor of lining the pockets of their wealthy donors.

As this Administration (with the blessing of Republicans in Congress) destroys public health, weakens the economy, degrades education, denies climate change, and defunds disaster relief, Americans will soon find themselves more vulnerable, sickly, and impoverished than ever. Without reliable information and American ingenuity, America will soon resemble North Korea and Russia where a few people horde all the wealth, innovation is non-existent, freedoms are lost, and the majority of the citizens live in poverty and fear, occupied with barely scraping by. These are not thriving societies. It certainly isn’t the future I desire for my children and grandchildren.

My advice is to wake up your friends, neighbors, and family members to the five-alarm fire threatening to engulf them. Second, I advise folks to save their pennies for the rainy days ahead. Third, I advise folks to build community with those who are like-minded. And finally, I advise all decent Americans to support frontline freedom fighters while also resisting with all their might those who envision a society that lacks liberty and justice for all. I truly believe that liberty and justice for all are values worth fighting for.

Of course, the Rapture didn’t happen last Wednesday. Since childhood, I’ve lived through multiple predictions and have never been disappointed because Jesus made it clear that no one knows the day or the hour when He will appear. And yet, folks keep on naming a specific day. The term Rapture doesn’t even appear in the Bible and I’m not even certain it’s an event to actually anticipate in the manner so many preachers and movies represent to us. But I continue to keep the faith that one day the wrong on this earth will be turned right.

These are certainly dark times. Hate and bigotry have resurfaced in full force through the leadership Donald Trump and others like him. Every day, we face the kind of evil brutality not seen since the 1930s. A few people like it. But I’ve noticed that decent people around me are seething under the surface over the cruelty, corruption, lawlessness, and incompetence poisoning our country every day. I’m sure the generals who gathered this past week weren’t happy either. I just pray that they will be courageous enough to honor their oath to protect and defend our Constitution against the domestic enemies occupying our White House.

In the midst of all this chaos, I am determined to keep the faith. I have faith that God is not mocked and that people will reap what they sow. I have faith that those who call evil good and good evil will meet a terrible end. I have faith that those who live by the sword will die by it. I have faith that no weapon formed against those who do good will prosper. And I have faith that good will ultimately overcome evil. It may take a while and it may require a struggle, but I believe that there are more of us who stand on the side of good and of justice than there are of them who embrace hate and destruction. I have faith that the sleeping giants of decency, empathy, kindness, and justice within most people will rise from their slumber or busy lives and join forces against the violence, nastiness, and inhumanity trying to overtake us.

In a way, I’m grateful for these ugly days. The daily speeches and cruel events reveal the character of people around us. We now know that there is a segment of our society who rejoice in the suffering of others. We now know who the vile and violent people are. We now know that there are people in high places willing to lie, cheat and steal to gain power and riches. We now know who the cowards are in our universities, businesses and politics. We now know for certain that white supremacy, racism, sexism, xenophobia, and homophobia remain as forces of hate to be reckoned with. But we also know that there are plenty of decent human beings who care about the plight and suffering of others enough to take action.

What is most important is that these times force us to look in the mirror. The evil folks will not recognize themselves as evil because they are deceived and consumed by hatred and scapegoating. However, the rest of us are being forced to see ourselves as either cowardly or courageous. In my book, the silent bystander is a coward. But the street protestor, the letter writer, the prayer warrior, the cartoonist, the actors in protest skits, the singer/songwriters, the podcasters, the comedians, the defense attorneys and prosecutors, the righteous judges, the teachers, the healthcare advocates, the social media activists, the righteous clergy, the donors and workers in civil rights organizations, the people who resign in protest, and the thoughtful voters are all courageous. I have faith in the God who fuels the determination of decent people and inspires their many courageous and creative acts of defiance. I have faith that those on the side of goodness and justice will fight and win against the evil that is trying to overtake us.

When I look in the mirror, I must see a fighter for goodness and justice if I am to have peace within my soul. I have faith in the God who gives me strength and guides my steps, not that I will be safe, but that I am doing what is right. I have to know that I have fought the good fight on behalf of those I love. Because I choose to be courageous every day, I can smile at my reflection in the mirror and have confidence that the loving God of good and justice is smiling down on me too.