When I was growing up, my mother hated to hear us kids say that we were bored. Those summer days without school were the worst. She’d respond by saying that only boring people get bored. However, that gentle scolding didn’t prevent that awful feeling that comes from not having something interesting or fun to do. I’m lucky that my mother supported all the activities I came up with to escape boredom.
The list of classes, sports, and other activities I tried out as a kid is extremely long. I tried and quit piano lessons, ballet, Hula, Judo, flute, modeling, and tennis. To varying degrees, I stuck with music, basketball, volleyball, cooking, sewing, knitting, acting, house dancing, crafting, and creative writing. At 12, I discovered a love for art museums and would walk about four miles to the Los Angeles Museum of Art where I would spend an entire day. While building a home for my Barbie dolls, I discovered a love for decorating, and so my mother allowed me to redecorate my room, then the family bathrooms, followed by other parts of the house.
I was encouraged to pursue the things I enjoyed and allowed to quit the things I didn’t. Sometimes I genuinely enjoyed an activity, but not the people or the vibe associated with it, so I’d quit. Other times my passion for an activity wasn’t strong enough to take it as seriously as others wanted, so I’d quit. And then there were times when I had passion but zero talent, so I’d quit. Ballet and piano fit that category. I was on a constant quest to find the perfect balance between my talents, passions, and cultural vibes surrounding an activity. I realize now that I had to like, trust, and respect the people involved and be comfortable in the environment to stay involved. I had a long list of accomplishments from early pursuits that I quickly abandoned.
For example, I choreographed a dance routine for my 6th grade graduation but didn’t pursue dancing nor choreography. I participated in a competitive acting troupe and starred in the one-person play, “Sorry, Wrong Number” but abandoned acting. I graduated as the “Outstanding Police Explorer Recruit” having ranked highest in both the written and physical fitness tests but left the law enforcement explorer scouting program after a year. I was on an elite traveling volleyball team but quit to play both volleyball and basketball in high school. I quit my winning high school volleyball team to play on a newly formed badminton team instead. In each case, talent and passion were present, but I didn’t care for the people or the vibe surrounding the activity.
I discovered a passion for travel when I took my first study abroad trip to Western Europe to study art, architecture, and culture. I spent 15 consecutive years traveling abroad after my last kid left for college. In college I got involved in sorority life and then got married and started having children. So, I put sorority life aside for several years. Right after college, I took a two-year interior design course and finished in just 9 months. I still love decorating homes and offices for fun, not for money. I never stopped loving art, music, dancing, sports, sewing, and cooking. Writing was a constant for me. I journaled every day, wrote plays, sermons, poems and speeches for school, church, civic groups, and work. I wrote three unpublished novels that I put on the hold because I couldn’t travel to promote them with three small children. All that practice writing made writing my dissertation for my doctorate pretty easy. I later assisted other doctoral students with the writing part of their dissertations. Blogging eventually became a fulfilling way to sort out my thoughts and emotions while hopefully helping others.
To this day, I still hate feeling bored. To avoid that feeling, I can’t be without a project or an agenda to fill my day. In retirement, it’s become a bit more challenging because I don’t have a job to go to everyday. I loved working. In particular, I loved my job. It fulfilled my need to help people, problem solve, complete challenging projects, organize and plan, and utilize my creative skills. I miss the simplicity of having a set destination every morning.
I’m concerned that my grandchildren won’t experience this. In the near future, technologist predict that young men and women won’t have to work as if work is a burden and not a potential source of fulfillment. I worry that AI will soon replace the jobs where young people can find purpose and escape from boredom like I did. They say that only a handful of jobs will remain after AI becomes fully enabled. That should worry everyone. Boredom is something most people want to avoid. The problem is that some people find destructive, not constructive activities to fill their time. There’s that saying that idle hands are the devil’s workshop.
The reality is that I’m one of those people who enjoys being active. I’m addicted to the feeling of accomplishment. Even in retirement, I measure my day by how much I’ve accomplished. It doesn’t take much. In fact, sitting quietly in my backyard, watching the birds take turns on the bird feeders counts as a valuable activity for me. Spending time with my husband, kids, or grandchildren is the most rewarding use of my time. I’m grateful that for most of my life, I’ve managed to avoid that feeling of boredom. And I’m still determined to avoid it. In early adulthood, I had my work in education and in business, raising my children, creating and maintaining a beautiful home, making delicious food, throwing dinner parties, volunteering in the community, crafting, reading, gardening, and writing. I was happy to fill in any remaining time with entertainment like travel, good television shows, movies, musical theater and concerts.
It’s funny how my retirement resembles my childhood. I’m back to trying different things to see what I like. I took a calligraphy class and pretty much gave it up after learning two different writing styles. Just no real passion for it. I tried learning Korean for a time, but it proved far too challenging for me. I started a Better Human campaign to counter the ugliness of MAGA but found it was too emotionally taxing to deal with MAGA nonsense. I resurrected and expanded my vegetable gardening and now grow much of our produce. I joined a knit/crochet group at the Active Adult Center and learned to crochet. I’m loving it and continue to expand my skills and list of projects. I jokingly run a test kitchen where I create new recipes or try out recipes from my massive cookbook collection. I purchased a Cricket design machine and occasionally enjoy to creating various projects. I’ve taken up Bocce Ball on Friday mornings with seniors from the Active Adult Center and I’m going on luncheon dates with old and new friends on rotation. And I really enjoy taking myself to lunch with a good book.
This past week, I joined hands with my daughter and AI to create four children’s books to help young boys build emotional intelligence. Of course, my grandsons serve as the motivation for this project. And finally, since several ladies at the Active Adult Center are more comfortable speaking in Spanish than in English, I have begun challenging myself to resurrect my Spanish skills. I studied abroad in Costa Rica at a Spanish language school back in 2011 after I spent a couple of years using cassette tapes, Rosetta Stone and Duolingo to learn Spanish. I love learning the structure of languages and becoming more fluent in Spanish is definitely a goal worth chasing.
On the entertainment front, I’m still into K-pop music. The combination of music, dancing, and production is amazing to me. I’m especially looking forward to BTS’s return this spring since they completed their solo projects and fulfilled their military service. I still enjoy a trip to the movie theater and the occasional non-violent Netflix or Hulu series. I’ve found that I’m especially fond of sports documentaries that highlight the lives of athletes as they compete at the highest levels.
Boredom is an emotion that I avoid at all costs, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I’ve learned how to keep myself occupied and fulfilled, even in retirement. I just wonder what life will be like for those who may never know what it is to work for a living and who will be forced to remain in a constant state of childhood discovery trying to avoid boredom or seeking fulfillment.