Decent parents spend time teaching their children how to obey basic social norms that make living together in a family and by extension, a community, bearable for everyone. In a civil society, parents are expected to instill behaviors like truthfulness, fair play, and consideration in their youngsters. It doesn’t happen on its own and when neglected, eyebrows are raised and tongues wag about the ill-mannered kid that no one wants to be around. We are sure that such children will likely end up is prison.
If we are honest with ourselves, we know that the beautiful innocent bundle of joy we bring home from the hospital is naturally selfish, self-centered, and self-preserving. The newborn’s survival instincts lead her to do whatever it takes to get what she wants and to avoid pain and suffering. It doesn’t take long for her to realize that crying isn’t the only manipulation tool she has in her toolbox. To avoid unpleasant consequences, a toddler automatically lies about the missing cookie that he secretly swiped and quickly ate when a parent wasn’t looking. That same toddler may violently hit a playmate over the head to take a toy he wants to play with. It is up to parents to correct such impulses. Every parent knows that convincing a child to share takes real effort. The words, “please” and “thank you” and “excuse me” and “I’m sorry”, must be taught. We are fortunate that most young children naturally covet affirmation, making these lessons possible.
Instilling values like honesty, integrity, gratefulness and generosity takes a concerted effort from the entire community that surrounds each child. Teachers, neighbors and extended family members reinforce these values in everyday interactions. Our approval and disapproval of their behaviors help to shape them. Religious teachings, no matter the faith tradition, all teach these basic values. In general, we are socialized through our interactions and role models to value and rely on the truthfulness, generosity, kindness, and consideration of others. It’s because our individual and common welfare depend on it. We are not islands unto ourselves; we need each other to survive and thrive in a world filled with natural and manmade disasters.
For most of my life, our society severely punished those who stepped outside the boundaries of these social norms. Politicians who were caught lying to the public were publicly humiliated and left the public stage in shame. Businessmen who defrauded others were prosecuted and imprisoned. Doctors who caused harm, lost their license to practice medicine. Rapist and thieves were prosecuted and imprisoned. Public sentiment did not tolerate public cruelty and insults. We expressed how appalled and disgusted we were by anyone who behaved in such a manner, curbing such behavior.
Most of us continue to cling to these basic social values that have served us so well. That’s why most social commentators thought Trump would be summarily disqualified when he bragged about sexually assaulting women on an open mic or when he lied about many things or when he insulted his opponents or when he was exposed as a business cheat, an adulterer, and a draft dodger. But he wasn’t. Enough people set our common values aside to support Trump. They liked his charisma and how he bucked social norms, thinking he was strong enough to free them from these shackles as well. Hillary was right when she called his supporters, “deplorables” and ironically, she was punished for saying it because the majority of us still expected polite behavior from public figures, especially those who wanted to lead us. Michele Obama’s words continue to ring in my ears: “We they go low, we go high.”
However, we should all be worried that those in government leadership today are no longer setting a good example for our children. Children need to see that the behaviors and values parents instill in them are rewarded outside the walls of their home. Trump and his MAGA supporters are showing them the opposite. He is demonstrating that truthfulness doesn’t matter, and that leaving everyone confused and guessing suits his agenda better. He is demonstrating that insults and bullying are a good way silence detractors or to bend people to his will. He is demonstrating that cruelty and brutality is a strategy to cause fear that controls others. He is the school yard bully who laughs as he steals a weaker child’s lunch money with impunity.
Trump has tried to break the social contract we have with each other. His constant lying, bullying, and cheating has led the world to financial instability, a fear of being invaded, and now a war. His promotion of others who share his lack of consideration and generosity has led to the deaths of thousands of people who relied on USAID for food and medicine. His promotion of liars and conspiracy theorists and inexperienced cabinet members have led to confusion about vaccines and a resurgence of measles and a dangerous roll back of environmental protections. America and the world are suffering under his anti-social leadership and lack of the moral values we depend on. We all know that a bully must be brought down and I’m certain he will. Chaos and terrorism, if not outright revolution are knocking at our door.
I’m grateful that the majority of Americans are not fooled by him and that they are not abandoning the basic values that serve us. We have to look harder to find the truth, but we still demand it. We are still considerate of each other. We remain generous with our time and money when it comes to the needy. We continue to value fair play even when those in power do not. And we are fighting every day in the streets, in social media posts, in artwork, in public statements, and in the courts to preserve the values that have made our society bearable.
When the Epstein files revealed that some rich and powerful men had been breaking social norms with regard to sex with children, we collectively decided to punish them. Trump tried unsuccessfully to distant himself from those files, but he is in them a lot and his sins have found him out. Whether Epstein died by suicide or was murdered, the truth of what happened is finding its way around the world and no manufactured war in Iran will save Trump from the consequences of breaking this social contract. Young children are off limits!
My hope is that those who have violated our collective need for truth, fairness, consideration, and integrity will be duly punished this time around if we win the midterm elections and gain a majority in the House and Senate. This will be the preferrable way to take him down and hold him accountable. The alternative will not be so nice.
We should know that Trump will attempt to cheat, lie, steal and even use troops to stop this from happening. He will do everything he can to prevent the majority of us from voting, especially women and minorities. Let’s not let him. Our social contract demands that fraud, lying, cheating, and cruelty be punished. And Trump can no longer be an exception.