Author: tonihall805@outlook.com

I grew up in a world that did it’s best to convince me that whiteness was the standard for beauty, competence, and respectability. Unfortunately, some really believe and continue to push this nonsense. When I was growing up, this fabrication of white superiority was literally reinforced in every school, media outlet, and church. It was inescapable. That false narrative had us seeking the white man’s approval to simply live our lives. Some of the most overt proclamations of white supremacy came from unsuspecting family members. I recall being present during a family discussion when my grandfather literally substantiated a claim by telling everyone that the source of the information was a white man. That single claim ended all interrogation of the argument being made.

It took me years to claim my value as a fully capable human being who is on equal footing in all respects with all other human beings no matter the color of their skin. My confidence grew as I repeatedly outperformed the majority of my peers (including white ones) academically, in sports, and in social settings. It was my parents’ decision to move into a predominately white neighborhood that helped me reject notions of inferiority. That constant contact with white people in my neighborhood, my school, and later my church exposed me to the invisible hand of the government support of their schools, their values, their businesses, and their livelihoods. I came to see that the police worked on their behalf to protect and serve, not to actually police them. I saw their petty crimes being treated as “petty”. None of those potheads next door or in my high school were ever arrested for selling or using pot or any other drug. That white neighborhood had more and better everything than my old black neighborhood because the local governments, banks, and corporations invested in them. It wasn’t because they as individuals were any smarter or morally superior, but because those government representatives, bank executives, and corporate leaders were also white. They had set up an entire system to benefit white people.

I eventually came to recognize that the disparity in schools and neighborhoods was attributed to a systematic and intentional scarcity of resources that encouraged hopelessness, competition, resentment, jealousy, theft, and violence. Throw a few pieces of bread into a pond of starving ducks and watch the ruthless competition unfold. That was what the black and brown neighborhoods were like. Only when my two brothers were robbed of their leather coats on the street did my mother decide it was time to move far away from the minority neighborhoods of my early youth.

It is not lost on me that our history is riddled with stories of how individual blacks or black communities that dare to thrive are destroyed by jealous white supremacists. Their crimes went unpunished by a white criminal justice system they created to fine us or imprison us, not to protect and serve us. I witnessed this firsthand on far too many occasions and I’ve lived my entire life with the understanding that the police are not my friend. As a University Administrator, it was impossible to get a white student arrested for selling drugs on campus. But let a black student play their music too loud and they are right there. We’ve all seen the pictures of five-year-old black children led away in handcuffs. I’ve never been a person to sit silently in the face of injustice, so I began to address the uncomfortable issues.

I spent my entire career in higher education, working along with others to expose systems of oppression and encouraging others to work toward dismantling the notion of white superiority and white privilege. I’ve made many people uncomfortable, even furious, and have borne the brunt of their wrath for it. I have the bumps, scars, and bruises to prove how difficult that fight was. But now, finally, people are starting to see that excellence comes in all colors and that white supremacy was a horrible myth. However, I used to caution that those who benefit from the system of white supremacy and privilege were going to fight to maintain it. And they are. That’s what their misguided “Replacement Theory” is about.

It came as no surprise to me that an 18-year-old white man went to a black neighborhood and killed ten innocent black people in service to notions of an unsubstantiated, but purely self-preserving white supremacy. It’s also not surprising that the police took him alive. After all whiteness still has some privileges. But at least he was arrested and is facing first degree murder charges as well as hate crime charges. Now that is progress. I just wish our Justice Department had the guts to go after the instigators of this nonsense like they went after Dr. King and other civil rights leaders.

The days of inclusion and equity are coming if we join together and fight for that day, because one thing is certain: the notion of white supremacy is a despicable lie, but those who benefit from perpetuating it are willing to fight to keep it in place.

I’m back in Philadelphia completing yet another round of grandparenting while the au pair is back in Columbia for a two-week vacation. After my first week, my younger daughter flew in to finally meet her new nephew in person. During one of our conversations, we both noted a marked difference in how people are relating to each other when it comes to giving and receiving information and feedback. There is a hyper-sensitivity that has creeped into people that makes them explode when confronted with unpleasant information or feedback.

We’ve all witnessed the yelling, the ridicule, and even the violence from people in public places when asked to wear a mask. The unhinged emotional responses to necessary information and honest feedback only serves to silence those around us. And when we become silent when others need important information or honest feedback to make wise decisions, our society ultimately loses. Our public health is in jeopardy. Our environment is in jeopardy.

The deterioration started with our elevation of the ego-manic Donald J. Trump to the position of president. Because of his hyper-sensitivity, his staff now admits to withholding important information from him and to refusing to challenge his wild ideas, to refute his conspiracies, and to contradict his blatant lies for fear of public ridicule. Donald Trump is the poster child for the emperor who has no clothes. Unfortunately, we are quickly becoming a society of naked emperors.

I’ve seen the change in my own adult children’s responses to each other. They’ve become reluctant to share honest feedback with each other for fear of emotional outbursts, arguments, and hurt feelings. I experienced it firsthand when my son literally jumped down my throat when I asked for details surrounding my grandson throwing up overnight. After explaining that I was about to take care of the child and needed to know, I forcefully admonished him not to become a naked emperor. He asked about that reference, and I recounted the tale of “The Emperor Has No Clothes” by Hans Christian Andersen. Without hesitation, he apologized.

Over the years, I’ve learned when to pick a fight and this one is worth having. Because I care deeply about my family’s wellbeing, and because I know it is impossible to make consistently wise decisions without reliable information and honest feedback, I’ve decided to bravely push forward with speaking up when I need to. I may take some uncomfortable arrows, but I’ll remind them of the emperor and let them decide whether to be naked or clothed. So much of the information we need comes from others, but if we cut people off because of our hyper-sensitivity, we limit both the volume and the quality of the information and feedback we receive. And that’s not healthy for us as individuals nor for our society.

Apparently, the Trump era Supreme Court nominees lied to the Senate and the American public when they said Roe v Wade was settled law. Trump promised his small percentage of religious right supporters that he would nominate pro-life justices who would overturn Roe v Wade and that promise looks like it might be fulfilled, despite the 80% of Americans in favor of keeping most provisions for abortion. While I am well past the time when I could be forced to bear a child, this decision still affects me because it will negatively affect people’s trust in one another and perhaps have an ill effect on people I care about. While I’ve never had an abortion, I did miscarry a child that never formed properly in my womb. It’s unbelievable that there are states looking to pass laws that would investigate miscarriages, truly making this a witch hunt. If abortion is murder, then I suppose that makes God Himself the biggest culprit. In an earlier post, I talked about my views on abortion and so I decided to repost some of those views with edits that incorporate our current state of affairs.

Just before I got married, I went to see my doctor to obtain a diaphragm to prevent pregnancy. We had plans to enjoy a few years together while establishing ourselves financially before starting a family. I used my new diaphragm and felt confident that it was doing its job, so much so that it took five trips to the doctor for “indigestion” and “nausea” and my insistence that “No, I couldn’t possibly be pregnant”, for a doctor to finally say, “Let’s do a pregnancy test anyway.” And to my great surprise, I was pregnant! Although, not in our immediate plans, we were happy about the news and welcomed our first baby girl in March 1979. But not everyone who gets pregnant unexpectedly is in the emotional, financial, and supportive network situation I enjoyed back then. Abortion had only recently become a legal option, but it wasn’t an option I needed to consider at the time. Years later, I became thankful that for those women who experienced the desperation of an unwanted pregnancy, a safe abortion was a viable option. I no longer believe abortion is murder and I have yet to meet a woman who would opt for a late-stage abortion without good reason.

Admittedly, my attitudes about abortion have evolved. Back in the early 1980s, I blindly followed the teachings from my conservative white evangelical pastors who became pro-life activists, strangely claiming like others today, that they were acting on behalf of the Almighty to stop “genocide”. The Republicans courted these single-issue voters who eventually cast aside all compassion for others in favor of casting judgment. It took the ugliness of intolerance, several sex scandals, and public moral failings among these men to disabuse me of the notion that they were true followers of Christ. I changed from being a follower of a pastor to a follower of Christ’ actual teachings. Among those changes in my belief system was my view on abortion.

I think it is a good thing that women today have multiple options to avoid pregnancy altogether, and so I hope many more take advantage of these options. However, I know personally, that contraception isn’t 100% effective. That said, I am shocked by the outrageous state laws being passed to prevent women from seeking to terminate an unwanted or unviable pregnancy, sometimes even before she realizes she is pregnant. It’s even more outrageous that a state would criminalize those trying to help her and that any state would offer bystanders a bounty to turn people in. The race to enact the strictest anti-abortion laws in Republican run states is absent both medical advice, fiscal considerations, and basic human compassion.

In particular, I’m furious by how intrusive the religious right and the Republicans are into the private affairs of women whom they don’t know nor care about. They think it is their place to insist that a woman proceed with an unwanted pregnancy, no matter the circumstances, as if that is somehow a simple and noble thing to do. These so call “freedom loving patriots” are happy to force their beliefs on others without compassion nor critical thinking nor any thought to the health, freedom, and lives of the girls and women affected. How dare they!

It is widely known in the medical field that giving birth is actually more life-threatening that surgical or medical abortion. And this is especially true in Texas. Close observers will note that nationally maternal deaths among Black women in particular is nearly 4 times higher than that of white women, and 10-17 times higher in the southern states like Texas. (The United States Maternal Mortality Rate Will Continue To Increase Without Access To Data | Health Affairs) One could easily argue that this isn’t a fight for the lives of the unborn, but an additional assault on the lives of black women who account for about a third of abortions in the country. Does anyone really believe that these white conservative lawmakers want to see a lot more black babies being born? I don’t.

I made my argument about why I don’t view abortion as murder in past posts. To recap, I view life as beginning with breath and the ability of a fetus to take a breath. I believe the womb is a place of formation of the temporary human body that a soul may one day occupy. A fetus doesn’t become a living soul until the breath of life. In Bible scripture we read that it wasn’t until God breathed life into the body of Adam, which He had formed out of dust of the earth, that Adam became a living soul. It is likely true that the midwifes in the early days of our nation, most of whom were black women and who regularly performed abortions before white doctors literally drove them out of the profession, believed the same thing. The idea that life begins at conception is pretty new and began in the pulpit, not the science lab. And the idea that a heartbeat is the start of life is also poor reasoning. The heart is simply a pump that can be transplanted from one person to another. In the womb, it starts pumping the mother’s blood. If these pro-lifers truly believed that begins at conception or with a heartbeat, then they should be having funerals for every miscarriage a woman has. Do they even realize that between 10-20 percent of known pregnancies end in naturally occurring miscarriage? And after age 40, nearly 50% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Many more women miscarry before they even know they are pregnant, and some estimate the number of miscarriages to be nearly a third of all pregnancies.

While I am outraged by the likelihood of the Supreme Court overturning Roe and the plethora of new laws being passed in Republican states, I realize that we should do a better job educating our daughters, granddaughters, nieces, cousins, and girlfriends about their alternatives so that surgical abortion isn’t even necessary in most cases. Although, in this day and age, I won’t bother to make a case for abstinence. So, first, there is contraception. Yes, it sometimes fails, but for the most part, it is quite effective. Second, there is the Plan B pill for those unexpected sexual encounters. Plan B prevents pregnancy from happening in the event of unprotected sex. Third, there are safe drugs to induce abortion if taken in the first eight weeks of pregnancy. Unfortunately, there are some states looking to ban these drugs altogether and to prevent women from obtaining them through the mail from out of state sources. In addition to educating ourselves, we need to elect lawmakers who have our best interest in mind.

It is necessary in the face of these draconian laws to preserve surgical abortion for those sad cases when the mother’s life is in danger or those rare cases of indecision due to changing circumstances or utter surprise. According to the CDC, abortion rates have been declining for years and that 92.2% of surgical abortions occur prior to 13 weeks’ gestation. That’s a good thing, but we can continue to do better if we educate and encourage the other women in our lives, particularly those in their 20’s who make up almost 58% of surgical abortions about the other options. It looks like denial, procrastination, immaturity, lack of access, and perhaps ignorance are the primary culprits that we should be addressing proactively so that we can collectively avoid an influx of unwelcome babies that we’ll all have to support. With total bans becoming likely in 26 states, women seeking abortion will have to travel out of state to obtain the care they need. This may be difficult if not impossible for poor women. The result will be a rise in infant mortality, maternal mortality, poverty and the crime that accompanies it.

And finally, to the religious pro-lifers who insist that abortion is murder and must be stopped at all costs, I would ask them to consider the actual science and then look at the lives of the young women involved, the fathers, and the innocent babies they are forcing to be born into circumstances that are far from ideal. These same legislators who want to ban all abortions also refuse adequate support for food, healthcare, childcare, and education, essentially condemning these women and their children to poverty. So, if care for life is really all that important, then please begin by 1) supporting sex education and contraception, 2) improving maternal care for black women, 3) ensuring adequate support resources, and 4) for all our sakes, get vaccinated and wear a mask in public and mandate the wearing of mask in schools.

For the rest of us, it is imperative to exercise our civic responsibility by voting for lawmakers who will protect a woman’s right to choose when and if she will bring children into this world. Let’s start by defying history and increasing Democratic representation in local and national elections this year.

Several times a week, I listen to C-Span Washington Journal to listen to the opinions of average Americans on topics of real concern that are rooted in political policy making. More times than not, I am disappointed by the comments and the people making them. So many are painfully misinformed, uneducated, and illogical. However, they are very passionate, and I don’t necessarily blame them. I blame us. We, the American public, have allowed our flow of information to be contaminated by a few wealthy individuals, corporations, and foreign actors, even though we are aware that no one can make wise decisions when the underlying facts are flawed, hidden, or misrepresented. It is scary to listen to people who are angry, frustrated, and terrified because news organizations, bots, and our own elected officials have convinced them that their lives and livelihoods are in constant danger.

I would be disingenuous if I claimed that the level of truth manipulation was the same for Republicans and Democrats because I don’t believe that to be the case at all. The evidence is showing that people who watch Fox News, are on social media, and listen to conservative talk shows are being fed a steady diet of contrived and unsubstantiated accusations against Democrats, teachers, labor unions, the LGBTQ community, immigrants, people of color, and liberal activists. All the while, relevant information, science research, and contextual history is being withheld from them on a regular basis. I agree with President Biden’s remark at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner last night about the job of the press being to inform and not inflame. He insisted that truth mattered for a healthy Republic. And Trevor Noah in his more serious remarks stated how a free press has a huge responsibility to provide the truth. But we all know that too many in the press are too busy trying to enrage and entertain for viewer ratings that translate into advertising dollars. They know that anger and outrage garners more clicks and views even when it is fabricated.

It’s no wonder conservatives are continually terrified that their children are brainwashed by critical race theory, gender and sexuality realities, and science itself. They are encouraged to believe that Democrats gladly open the Southern border to people who steal our jobs, traffic drugs, commit violent crimes, and spread disease and most importantly vote illegally for Democrats in elections. They absorb repeated suggestions that the pandemic was orchestrated by Democrats to control people and steal their liberties. They believe that high gas prices were designed by Democrats to force them switch to renewable energy. They are repeatedly told that Biden is senile and that his son is a criminal. They believe Democratic policies caused inflation, ignoring a pandemic that shut down production and supply lines. And of course, they believe that Democrats are socialists, abortionists, and pedophiles hellbent on destroying America and eliminating police departments. The list goes on.

In the interest of viewership and monetary gain, the conservative press introduces more and more false accusations every day to fuel a culture war based on outright lies, exaggerations, omissions, and the misrepresentations of facts. Social media companies benefit financially from a culture war, so they highlight the outrage rather than the truth. Beyond monetary gains for the conservative press and social media, the Republican Party supports the lies and misinformation in order to win elections without ever putting forth a policy agenda to actually tackle problems in healthcare, inflation, income inequalities, immigration, future pandemics, climate change, and gun violence. Foreign actors have their own agenda to destabilize the country from within through division and they are finding success. China and Russia are aware that a nation divided against itself cannot stand and so they are using our free press and freedom of speech against us.

The irony is that Republicans like to lay claim to Christianity and Bible teachings as their foundation. But in my humble Christian opinion, they have replaced some fundamental truths in service to their greed for money and power. One of the Ten Commandments makes it a sin to levy false accusations against another person. My Bible tells me that God hates liars. Lying is a sin and I guess they forgot that Jesus said that it is the truth that will set us free and that the devil is a liar and the father of lies. And as I recall, all liars have hell waiting for them. They’ve forgotten Jesus’ lesson about welcoming strangers and outcasts and not judging others. They’ve forgotten that we are called to help the poor, the sick, and the prisoner. This Republican Party that so many “Christians” support and vote into office do not stand for any of these values and certainly do not follow any of these principles. These white Republican Christians today have turned into some of the most hateful people around. They claim to protect children, yet they allowed Trump to separate infants from their parents at the border as a punitive measure. They think preventing abortion puts them on God’s side when nearly 1/3 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Does that make God an abortionist, eliminating even more babies in the womb than all the doctors on the planet combined? Or are these simply human bodies under construction that will one day contain an eternal human soul with the first breath of life? And we all know they are okay with allowing babies to wallow in poverty once they are born.

With all that said, the time has come for us to demand the truth from our news media and from lawmakers. We need to demand that social media companies remove the divisive foreign actors on their platforms. It is our civil and moral responsibility to hold news outlets, lawmakers, companies, and our friends and family accountable for creating and spreading lies, misinformation, false accusations and exaggerated nonsense. It’s important because we rely on accurate information to make good decisions about our lives and our livelihoods. Our future, our children’s futures, and that of our country and the planet itself are at stake.

I’m about to board yet another flight to Philadelphia to take care of my grandson while the au pair is back in Columbia for a two-week vacation. This time there may not be a mask mandate in place to protect passengers like me who need to be extra careful. Because of the rising numbers of Covid cases, both Los Angeles and Philadelphia have reinstated indoor masking. So, the airports will require masks, but not the airplane if the “Trump-appointed and unqualified” federal judge’s ruling against CDC mandates isn’t overturned.

Like others, I was quick to write to President Biden when the ridiculous ruling came out, urging him to appeal such an irresponsible decision that completely ignores science and public health. How is it that nearly a million U.S. deaths from a surprise virus apparently isn’t enough to support future government disease control mandates in the interest of saving lives? I’m glad the DOJ is appealing the ruling. It sad to admit, but Americans have shown that they can’t be trusted to protect themselves nor others without mandates. The notion of “freedom” has become distorted in the minds of too many.

We’ve seen firsthand that too many Americans are either too selfish or too ignorant to follow the science and adjust their behaviors in the interest of brotherly love and care. Allow me to restate most of what I wrote in a previous post:

Perhaps we need to return to kindergarten where we had our first introduction to society. Kindergarten is where we learned to share and to take turns. We learned that we were not an island unto ourselves and that the needs of the group have to be considered. We learned to wait for our turn. Kindergarten gave us our first taste of the concept of fairness and orderliness. Of course, the way we learned the consequences of inappropriate social behaviors in kindergarten depends on the reader’s age. Anti-social behavior was met by either a slap on the hand or a time out. Sometimes parents were informed. The point is that the disruptive class clown and the bully were not rewarded for their antics. However, social media has upset these necessary social lessons.

Today, our society gives free reign to clowns and bullies who are hellbent on acting on their character deficits to our collective detriment. The insecure, the selfish, the inconsiderate, the ignorant, the power hungry, the greedy, and the hateful people have always been among us. It’s just that we have allowed their voices to be amplified through social media and then their outrageous antics attract news media coverage. I recall how Donald Trump’s ridiculous lies, racist and sexist comments and insults hurled at his political opponents became big news. Then candidate Trump was calling into the Today Show almost daily and they took his calls on air. The bully was no longer given a time out nor a slap on the risk, but a multifaceted platform on television, Facebook, and especially Twitter. All manner of lies, misinformation, and nastiness were elevated.

We collectively failed to secure the guard rails around our social contract with one another and now the anti-social among us are running rampant, clothing themselves in a false narrative of personal “freedom”. Governor Ron DeSantis, Senator Rand Paul, Congresswoman Margorie Taylor Greene, and Governor Greg Abbott all fit that bill and are causing great harm to social and public health efforts. The Republican Party itself has been co-opted by this minority of anti-social/anti-democratic people who are loud, belligerent, violent, and largely uneducated. The My Pillow Guy, Mike Lindell, is a perfect example of how an individual can spread lies that threaten to co-opt our democracy. However, the most ridiculous example I’ve seen to date are the parents fighting and threatening school board members over school masking requirements. I’m hopeful that these parents against masking in schools during a pandemic are simply ignorant and not homicidal. Whichever it is, no parent has the right to endanger the lives of others under the guise of their parental rights. Apparently, this commonsense notion that brought us laws against drinking and driving and smoking in public places is lost on these short-sighted individualists.

Bible readers know that when Cain killed his brother Abel, God asked him where his brother was. Cain cynically replied, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” We know from God’s response to Cain and from the Gospel of Jesus Christ, that the clear and unequivocal answer is, “YES!” The answer is yes because we must live in community together and we affect each other. We share the earth, the air, the water, and every other resource necessary to live.

So, it is time for those of us who recall our lessons from kindergarten to restore the guard rails to curtail the behavior of the ignorant, the selfish, the power hungry, the greedy, the inconsiderate, the bullies, and especially the homicidal by A) refusing to vote for them B) calling them out publicly on social media C) refusing to support media platforms that amplify their voices and D) boycotting their products.

Am I endorsing what some have coined a “cancel culture”. I guess I am. And honestly, I’m inclined to believe that the trend toward labeling demands for reasonable social guard rails as “cancel culture” is a ploy by the clowns and bullies to silence their detractors so they can run rampant. Those who are actively banning books and silencing teachers with regard to sexuality and history are engaging in their own form of “cancel culture”.

It’s time to reclaim a civil and social society where we recognize that to some extent, we are in very practical terms, our brother’s keeper. I just hope that happens before I board my plane next week.

We are living in a moment in time when knowing whom to believe and what to believe is challenging. The following example may sound trivial, but someone posted a picture on Facebook of a shirtless (and ripped) BTS member, Jungkook. There were hundreds of comments and even more likes praising his sexy good looks. However, I immediately became suspicious of the validity of the picture. First, because it seemed out of character for this rather shy member to take such a picture and second because the prominent tattoos on his hand and arm were missing. As I continued to read the comments, others joined me in questioning the validity of the photo. This is the world we now live in.

There have always been liars, cheaters, swindlers and used-car salesmen among us. They are typically motivated by the prospect of money, power, or fame. For some, it’s the simple thrill of fooling people. Magicians are good for that kind of innocent entertainment. And perhaps the person who posted the photoshopped picture of a shirtless Jungkook on Facebook was a digital magician. However, I wouldn’t want to be the subject of their magic.

The problem is that we depend on information to make rational decisions about our health, our livelihoods, our planet, and our political leaders. Our well-being depends on access to accurate information. And these days, dependable information is becoming increasingly difficult to come by. There are too many people willing to muddy the information pool with falsehoods, speculation, half-truths, omissions, and fantasy. Some are doing it for attention, some to sell products, some for political power, and others truly want to destroy or control society as we know it. Like Putin in Russia, Xi in China, and Kim in North Korea, these dangerous actors fully understand that control over information leads to psychological control of the people and ultimately keeps them in power. Those who question the information or present opposing information are quickly removed.

When it comes to our health, I learned that our healthcare industry depends heavily on the support of food industry giants. This is why slogans like, “Milk, it does a body good” go unchecked and uninterrogated. More people are lactose intolerant than not in the world, and so I wonder why we are determined to drink another mammal’s milk when we have our own? We can get calcium from green leafy vegetables. At the same time, Doctors and hospitals receive too much support from the pharmaceutical industry. When I spoke to my doctor about my plant-based diet to lose weight and lower my blood pressure, he immediately tried to prescribe me yet another medication, this one to help me lose the weight. I rejected it. There are good documentaries on the subject of healthcare, and that information helped me switch to a plant-based diet. I started with a pretty convincing one on Netflix called, “What the Health”.

I also watched a documentary on Netflix called, “The Great Hack”. It was about how Cambridge Analytica used our personal data from Facebook to feed users emotionally charged information designed to push them to vote a certain way or to not vote at all. In particular, they were involved in the Trump 2016 election, the Brexit vote, political movement events, and numerous election campaigns in support of tyrants across the world. To my utter surprise, at the center of Cambridge Analytica was Steve Bannon. The documentary revealed that his underlying motive is to destroy the current social order so that he can remake it according to his vision for society. Talk about an evil mastermind! He sounded like a villain straight out of a Bond or Batman movie. But this is real life stuff.

The point is that information is the greatest tool we use to make life decisions. And that tool is being corrupted by dangerous actors who seek power, fame, and money at our expense. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to find truthful and reliable sources of information. I switched to publicly funded PBS for news. There are plenty of good characters out there trying their best to provide fact-based information, but they are often villainized or drowned out by the loud voices of the greedy and powerful.

The answer is that academics, journalist, and activists really need to step up their media game to break through the haze of misinformation with the valid and reliable information we need. I see opportunities for new industries to emerge in fact-checking and authentication services. It’s time for academics, journalists, and activists to engage with publicists and social media experts to effectively disseminate truthful information. Gone are the days when an academic journal or conference will suffice. Those with real information need to find the platforms that will break through. Until then, perhaps the answer for the rest of us is to seek out the quiet, less funded but well-documented information. It may be a bit more difficult to find, but good decision making depends on it.

Healthy eating has become both a journey and a challenge for us since scientists became aware of the actual connection between food and health. I was privileged to spend my childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood with access to a variety of food in abundance. Some of it was healthy because I happened to love vegetables, but most of it wasn’t.

I never considered my health when as a seventeen-year-old, I rolled into Jack in the Box and routinely ordered French fries and a milkshake for lunch on my way to tutoring elementary school children. Since childhood, my favorite food was fried chicken. In fact, I convinced my grandmother to make it for me every day for a week that summer I spent absent my parents and siblings in Detroit as a homesick seven-year-old. For me, trips to the corner store for chips, candy, and soda pop was a daily occurrence. And I absolutely loved visiting my Aunt Ethel who could be counted on to serve us double sweet Kool Aide and Cokes on top of coffee loaded with several teaspoons of sugar and enough cream to change the color to a really light brown.

Eating was a pleasure. And enjoying skillfully made meals that included large doses of love, sugar, animal protein, animal fats, and animal products like cheese put a smile on my face. I grew up loving chitlins, pig’s feet, ox tails, fried chicken, steak, fried fish, bacon, sausage and vegetables cooked in animal fats. I loved macaroni and cheese and fried potatoes. When McDonald’s opened, I became a fan of hamburgers, especially the Big Mac and their French fries. Add cheese to just about anything and I was a happy camper. College introduced me to deep crust pizza, and it was then that I first encountered casseroles in the cafeteria. Desserts have always taken second place to potato chips for me. However, I was especially fond of cobblers, cakes, puddings, and pies. Although not my favorites, I didn’t say no to ice cream and cookies. On the flip side, I never cared much for eggs, pancakes, nor oatmeal. And I was allergic to coconut and boysenberries. This was how I grew up eating.

It should come as no surprise that all this bad eating eventually caught up to me in my thirties when I started to put on weight. I cut back on eating and exercised more and lost the weight. But then education and career changes required a lot more sitting, and the pounds gradually piled on, especially because I hadn’t changed my eating habits. By my mid-fifties I had high cholesterol, high blood pressure, chronic kidney disease and was pre-diabetic. My husband had his first bout of cancer in his colon. And that’s when we embarked our journey towards a sustainable healthy diet.

Doctors aren’t dieticians and finding a personal dietician isn’t easy. So, I started trying new things. There was Nutrisystem. Then there was eat less of everything, especially red meat. Then there was eliminating sugar and potato chips. Then there was eliminating everything white. Then there was the switch to low fats. Then there was the switch to low carbs. Then there was organic and moderation. Then there was Paleo that eliminated beans and night-shade vegetables. Then there was the cancer diet for my husband when he got lung cancer. Then there was intermittent fasting. And now we find ourselves on a plant-based diet. Some call it a vegan diet, but it’s doubtful that we will be fully vegan. I have nothing against honey and I’m finding that the inflexibility of veganism isn’t socially friendly.

Through it all, I’ve realized the very real connection between eating and good health. The majority of experts agree that vegetables, fruits, whole grains, seeds and nuts and beans are important for a healthy body. They all agree that our bodies need protein and calcium and other nutrients to function well. They simply disagree on the best sources. A month ago, after watching several nutritionists, doctors, and environmentalists, I decided a few things about how we were going to eat moving forward.

First, we realized that changing our diet once again won’t be too drastic as we have already made several changes over the past few years. We had already switched to almond milk and maple syrup. We already incorporated large quantities of organic fruits (especially berries) and green leafy vegetables (including broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage and Brussel sprouts) into our diet, eliminated processed foods, switched to whole grains, switched to avocado and olive oils, and we consume a wide variety of beans and raw nuts daily. Second, a plant-based diet is good for the body and the planet. Third, I made an investment of time, mental effort, and money to try out transitional vegan foods such as plant-based meats, cheeses, and eggs. I stocked up on the vegan essentials like a variety of seeds, quinoa, nutritional yeast, Kombucha (for probiotics), and Tufo. And finally, I watched a lot of YouTube vegan cooking shows, and this week purchased my first vegan cookbook.

In the month since we switched to the plant-based diet, I have lost six pounds and I feel really good. I’ve eaten animal protein three times in small quantities, not because I craved it, but once because I wanted to experience the “best” Philly cheese steak while in Philadelphia and the other two times were to appease my husband who is determined not to dispose of the animal protein we currently have in our freezer. So, during the last two weeks, I consumed a small piece of fish and one chicken thigh. We’ve agreed to eat an animal protein from our freezer once a week until everything is gone and I’m okay with that.

I’ve made an appointment to see my doctor this coming week where I will discuss my new plant-based diet that accompanies the intermittent fasting he suggested. I’ll ask about getting new labs done, too, so we can monitor my progress and ensure I am getting all the nutrients my body requires, especially vitamin B-12.

Many people with health issues similar to mine have attested to the health benefits associated with a plant-based diet. They testify to reducing their cholesterol levels, lowering their blood pressure, and reversing type II diabetes. All I know is that what we were doing wasn’t working and so our journey towards healthy eating continues and I have high hopes that a plant-based diet is the solution.

While science has finally concluded that from a biological standpoint, black skin means nothing with regards to full membership in the human race, the social value attached to black skin remains problematic for black people. While we may finally understand intellectually that blackness does not determine inherent intelligence, creativity, talent, nor morality, the world continues to behave as though skin color is attached to all these things. As a result, black people like me, experience a confusing mixture of esteem for our contributions and disrespect for our person on a daily basis from a society that is itself confused, guilt-ridden, stubborn, and afraid of us. The same people who eagerly enjoy, consume and imitate our rhythms, artistry, and creativity ignore, debase, and ridicule us as inferior beings. We are a traumatized people. I am traumatized. We suffer from PTSD. I suffer from PTSD. And we die younger. The highly prevalent health issues like high blood pressure, diabetes, chronic kidney disease and cancer are connected to our trauma.

To survive in black skin continues to mean that daily stress levels will be higher, resilience must be higher, creativity to overcome hurdles must be higher, and a combination of street smarts and book smarts must be higher. The confirmation hearing of Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson showed how we have to do more, take more, and be more to be allowed to occupy the same space as our white counterparts. And once we arrive, people continuously question our presence. Her story is the story of many black people (including me) since Affirmative Action opened doors that were previously closed to us despite our qualifications. White conservatives refuse to acknowledge that for most of U.S. history they closed the doors of opportunity to us. And now they choose to ignore how we had to struggle against all odds to gain the required qualifications to apply for college admission or a job position that was once closed to us. Affirmative Action wasn’t some “give-away” program for inferior black folks, but that’s what the conservatives want people to believe. They want to hide the historical legacy of black discrimination and claim a level playing field that never existed. The denial of past in present discrimination is an attitude that just further traumatizes black people.

What we saw in the horrifying Will Smith incident was the result of generational trauma. I believe that Chris Rock’s response was also born from that same place of trauma. Generations of black women have lived their lives undefended, disrespected, abused, and invisible. We go missing, die in childbirth, watch our sons murdered by police, and suffer abuse and no one comes to our rescue. At the same time, generations of black men have born the frustration of being unable to defend their black wives, mothers, and sisters against a society that denies both their worth and vulnerability as females. When Chris Rock made his insensitive joke, I think we witnessed the explosion of a black man finally feeling empowered enough to defend his wife. And I think Chris Rock knew it, too, and refused to allow the Los Angeles Police Department to arrest Will Smith. Although we understand and think that finally a black man is defending a black woman, nothing about that incident was acceptable except that Chris Rock didn’t escalate the incident by fighting back. I must admit that I wonder whether Will Smith would have had the same confidence to slap a white comedian.

And finally, the world got to witness first-hand how caring the powerful are when white hardship from war is on display. In this world, white people’s tears are more highly valued and deserving of media attention and actual care than the hardships of people of color in similarly dire situations. The coverage of the Russian invasion of Ukraine is on CNN all day and night with every aspect of the Ukrainian sufferings being broadcasted as though no others in the world are also suffering the atrocities of war at this very moment. The opening of borders and homes, the outpouring of humanitarian aid, the financial donations, and even the willingness of people to travel there to help Ukraine fight is like nothing we have seen in the many other countries laid bare by war. War correspondents have said as much without realizing it that these are “Europeans” and that makes the suffering untenable.

As a country and as a world, we know in our heads that humans are the same whatever their skin color. The problem is that our hearts have yet to get the message and until we do, black skin will continue to be a problem for black people.

I had an incredible first week with my son and his family helping them settle into their new home. This second week of my stay has been a bit different. In fact, it has been a kind of torture from a purely physical standpoint. A few issues converged to challenge my ability to accomplish everything I desired in my usual fashion. Some of the problems can be attributed to my own negligence, others to those blasted steps.

Why is it that when I leave home, I think I can simply abandon some routines that literally promote my well-being? While at home, I begin my day with a 4-minute morning warmup stretching routine. I follow a wonderful app on my phone called “Stretching Exercises”. It’s a great app and I use it for multiple routines. Stretching improves flexibility and helps prevent injuries. I know this. And yet, I embarked upon my first week in a home where I had to climb up and down a total of four staircases multiple times a day. I had to go up a flight or down a flight just to use the bathroom. I did this without warmup nor warning for my knees and now I am paying the price. My weak left knee became overly stressed and inflamed, rendering it painful and almost entirely useless.

My son tapped into his compassion and purchased a knee brace and Tylenol for me. Someone told me that he considered a cane, too, but didn’t go there. I added more anti-inflammatory foods like blueberries, strawberries, almonds, broccoli and turmeric to my daily menu since I can’t take Ibuprofen because of my chronic kidney disease. And instead of unpacking, organizing and decorating at my usual pace, I sat on the sofa with an elevated knee and an ice pack several times a day, giving advice. I spent a lot of time ordering needed items from Amazon than putting them away. The most disappointing thing was that I could no longer sit on the playmat with my grandson because I literally could not get up. Thankfully, he’s good sitting on my lap, staring into my glasses or playing with my sparkling Brighten beans that I wear especially for him.

On top of my knee problems, I was shocked and worried when my ankles and feet swelled up. At first, I assumed the issue was related to overuse of my limbs. But I was also having weird heart issues at bedtime when I took my newly prescribed blood pressure medicine. It was my mistake not to ask the doctor about the possible side effects since he neglected to mention them on his own. I stopped taking it for fear that I might not wake up in the morning and I looked up the side effects of the medication. My physician daughter-in-law confirmed my suspicions. Sure enough, the most common side effect was swollen ankles and feet and heartbeat issues. Since my blood pressure is borderline and my kidney disease hasn’t gotten any worse in five years of monitoring it, I’m hopeful that my switch to a plant-based diet will solve the issues and eliminate the need for medication.

Although my timing wasn’t optimum, becoming a vegan was a good idea. I think perhaps I should have waited until I returned home to fully immerse myself in this new lifestyle. Being here, I find myself cooking vegan meals for myself and meat-centric meals for my son’s family. In other words, I’m doing double duty in the kitchen every day. Besides going to the bathroom and a store or two, cooking is my only sustained movement every day.

One thing I did prepare for was the fact that they have hardwood floors throughout the entire house. Knowing the fragility of my feet on hard surfaces, I purchased a pair of OOFOS Sport Slides for myself and my son and his wife in advance of my trip and their moving in. The slides are cushiony and protective against the hard surfaces. I purchased them on Amazon for a worthwhile $60 a pair. They are so incredible that I’ve decided that close family members are receiving these slippers from me for their birthdays this year.

As I prepare to head home tomorrow, I’m both proud and regretful. Next time, I won’t neglect my morning stretch and hopefully I’ll weigh a lot less, eliminating some of the stress on my knees as I tackle the stairs in their beautiful new home.

I don’t really know if I invented the term, “grand-mothering”, but that’s what I’m calling my stay in Philadelphia for the next two weeks to help my son’s family settle into their new home while also celebrating my grandson’s first birthday.

These two professional working parents have a live-in au-pair from Columbia who is here on a J-1 visa. She takes incredible care of my grandson from 7am – 3pm and then she seems to disappear into thin air until dinner. She does absolutely no housework as per her contract and is here for primarily for cultural exchange. I first met her when she arrived last July 2021 when my son asked me to come to help her transition to the U.S. and to teach her how to care for my grandson. I spent my career primarily working with international students, so it really was a natural fit and I enjoyed it. We got along really well and I was happy to hear that she was eager for my return.

My son and his wife invited me to come this time because they needed help again. My son is busy transitioning to new work duties after a substantial promotion and my pediatrician daughter-in-law is already overwhelmed with long work hours at the hospital and motherhood. A move to a brand-new home was too much. My assignments are to organize and decorate the new house, cook and clean, and enjoy baby James.

I walked into their newly built five-level row house and was simultaneously stunned by the beauty and chaos before me. There is so much to do! And I only have two weeks. I spent the first evening just setting expectations, discovering their preferences, budget, and determining how decisions would be made. One thing was evident, they were stressed out by all the chaos and lack of organization.

As a cook, my first priority was to organize the kitchen and then stock the refrigerator and pantry after determining what they wanted to eat. I should note that before arriving, I switched to a vegan diet (more about that another time). They are in no way vegans, however, and we’re uninterested in becoming vegans. So, our trip to the grocery store took longer than they would have liked since we were shopping for two separate meal plans. In fact, it was their first trip to a grocery store in a few years. They usually order their groceries and have them delivered. It was my grandson’s first ever trip to a grocery store and he seemed fascinated by it. I wasn’t certain how many vegan products I would find in the Philadelphia Acme supermarket, but they were not lacking at all. I did end up ordering a few products from Amazon afterward, though.

This first week has been fun and challenging. I’ve been working from sunrise to sunset to get this place in order. Friday, I spent almost the entire day hanging pictures and mirrors on two levels. I was relieved when my choices met with their enthusiastic approval. I ordered printouts of family photos in various sizes from Costco and my son wanted that to be a surprise for his wife. We worked out a system whereby I provide them with the choices of a variety of home furnishing items. They select the items they like most and we order them. It feels like deliveries are being made two to three times every day. I’d like to spend a lot more time in actual stores for some of the items they need, but it’s been like pulling teeth to get there.

My grandson is handsome, intelligent, and adventurous. He never stops smiling and staring at me whenever we are in close proximity. He allows me to play with him, carry him around and rock him to sleep. For St. Patrick’s Day, his Irish mother insisted that he wear the clover leaf pajamas she had especially ordered for that evening. Of course, my son forgot. After a facetime call with her at bedtime, my son had to change him into those pajamas. For his birthday, we all went to the “Please Touch Me Museum” and enjoyed a specially ordered birthday cake.

I’m hopeful that some of the bigger items will arrive before I leave in another week. But if not, I’ll see them installed at the end of April when I return for another two weeks of “grand-mothering” when the au-pair returns home to Columbia for a visit. Grand-mothering is a wonderful retirement occupation.