Fully Present Post 50

I enjoy everything about being retired. What I enjoy most is the time and freedom to pursue my passion projects without the time and energy limitations from a job. Now, my only limitations stem from pandemic restrictions, a husband recovering from lung cancer, and family obligations. Other than these, I have been free to discover what I care about and how I want to spend the bulk of my time and energy moving forward.

I intentionally gave myself a full year of retirement to allow my passions to organically rise to the surface. I tried new things like calligraphy and graphic design and social media. And what I discovered is that I’m the same person I was at age 12. I crave order. I crave safety. I crave justice. And I crave beauty. My passion for creating spaces that are safe, orderly, just, and beautiful extends beyond my home and garden; it extends to society. So, as I watched our country descend into a place that I no longer recognize nor admire, I created the Better Human Project consisting of nine principles which I laid out in 11 separate blog posts over this past year (weekly posts beginning October 17, 2021, through December 26, 2021).

I had initially agreed that the Better Human Project would fall under the Inclusion Media Group, a non-profit that my daughter created. However, after deep consideration, my daughter and I decided that its rightful home is under my Fully Present Post 50 sole proprietorship because my purpose isn’t really to push the media to be more inclusive; it is to encourage everyday people to become better humans. I have to thank my brilliant daughter and her other degree in marketing for giving me clarity and then helping me forge a pathway towards inviting others to commit to being better humans and then helping to spread the movement.

Starting August 1st, I will be launching a website and a monthly newsletter for the Fully Present Better Human Project. I will not only feature the nine principles and practical guidelines for fulfilling them, but I will be offering Better Human promotional products to allow like-minded supporters to help spread the notion of what it means to become better humans. There will be mugs, notecards, prints, posters, water bottles, mouse pads, reusable bags and t-shirts for purchase to help spread the message and to financially sustain the efforts. In brief, here are the nine Better Human principles:

Better Humans practice brotherly love, protect the environment, demand social justice, challenge bigotry, are lifelong learners, are inclusive, help the needy, speak the truth, and vote for better humans.

I firmly believe that together we can create a safer, more just, and livable society for ourselves and our families and so I’m dedicating my retirement to helping to make that happen.

I keep saying that elections have consequences. And perhaps now people who have treated their right to vote as an inconvenience will finally wake up to the reality that it truly does matter who is representing them at the local, state, and federal level. While voting for the president is important, voting for mayors, governors, local and state lawmakers, and federal lawmakers is just as important.

Since Friday, I’ve looked at a lot of Facebook postings and Tic Tok videos of people either praising or lamenting the Supreme Court decisions on public funds supporting religious school education, expanding gun rights, and now banning abortion rights at the federal level. Personally, I find these decisions deeply disturbing and not in the best interest of everyday Americans. However, these judges are in place because this country elected Donald Trump and because people in enough states elected Republican senators who ensured the Trump nominees were confirmed. Set aside the fact that two of them misrepresented their views to Senators on protecting longstanding precedence that would have kept Roe v. Wade in place.

On the subject of this detrimental abortion decision, I must add that women, mostly poor women of color, will suffer from this bad decision. Some will die from self-imposed abortions or inadequate pre-natal healthcare and many others will have to endure the derailment of their life ambitions. To add insult to injury, this country has no safety net to adequately support mothers and children and no good system in place to hold men financially and socially accountable for the unplanned children they sire. Ironically, forcing poor women of color to carry unplanned pregnancies to delivery will result in an even faster demographic change that white supremacist fear so much. Maybe then we will be able to fully free ourselves of their desired tyranny.

I told a gleeful religious zealot on Facebook not to be so short-sighted. I pointed out that his own daughters could die if they had an unintended pregnancy that they were too afraid to disclose to him and then tried to end that pregnancy on their own. I pointed out to him that his daughters could die from a tubal pregnancy that doctors refuse to end because of this abortion ban. I also shared my alternative view that personhood begins with the “breath of life” and that the womb is just a place where a body is formed. I asserted that if abortion is murder like he claims, then God must be the biggest murderer because so many pregnancies end in miscarriage. These federal Republicans vow to do away with abortion in all 50 states and to eliminate abortion pills that allow women to end early unwanted pregnancies, so his daughter would be left in desperation, taking us back to the pre-Roe days of coat hangers, falling down steps, and back-alley butchers.

The decisions of the Supreme Court do not represent the will of the people, but they represent the will of a minority of people who voted for Republicans and won because other Americans failed to show up to vote. So, I have a message for the religious male zealot on Facebook who gleefully but mistakenly rejoiced that abortion was banned across the nation by the Supreme Court (it wasn’t), or the young black female on Tic Tok who said voting is a scam because Biden didn’t stop the ruling and because we have majorities in the House and Senate, but this still happened. My message is two-fold. First, learn how our government works. Second, vote in every election for intelligent people who represent your interests and who will pass laws that protect your fundamental rights and who will help ensure public safety.

I’ve made it my mission this year to use my voice to encourage people to vote in the November 2022 mid-term election to secure stronger majorities in the House and especially in the Senate. Historically, the party in the White House loses seats both in the House and Senate. But with the Trump Republican Party on the march, we cannot afford to allow them to govern. They are harboring too much bigotry, too much lawlessness, and too little care for marginalized people and the environment. Their agenda for America would be a disaster for women, LGBTQ people, communities of color, children, and the environment. And they have no answer for high gas prices nor inflation. They lie about Biden being the cause of high gas prices and inflation, depending on the ignorance of people like that religious zealot and that Tic Tok girl to either vote for them or stay away from the polls.

The young woman on Tic Tok didn’t understand that passing legislation in the Senate requires 60 votes, not just 51. The religious zealot didn’t understand the concept of states’ rights. So, consequently, neither understood the importance of their votes in mid-term elections. In fact, the young woman was advocating against voting because she was so disappointed. I countered her argument in the comments as was my civic duty.

I understand that a lot of people are angry today and will be again taking to the streets. And they should. But my hope is that these same people and many others will take to the polls this November to vote. Positive changes will happen when we have lawmakers in place at all levels of government who are committed to gun safety, pro-choice, civil rights, the environment, and public health. The numbers are on our side so we can have the lawmakers we desire if we show up to vote.

Until recent years, I had never officially joined an organized fan group. I was a fan of the Jackson 5, Stevie Wonder, Elton John and later Michael Jackson. I liked many other artists, but these were the ones I really followed. My financial loyalty to them extended to buying albums and attending concerts. I marveled at my friends and cousins who had posters in their rooms of their favorite artists. I never did that. I was content to enjoy their music live or on the radio, on albums and then cassettes, or on television. I followed the trajectory of their lives through television or magazine interviews. I genuinely cared about the art and the artist. But my investment in what it means to be a fan changed when I was introduced to BTS and became an official card-carrying ARMY just prior to the pandemic.

A colleague discovered that I liked Astro, a K-pop group that I stumbled across on YouTube one day and she suggested that if I liked that group, I would really like BTS. I didn’t think much of it until Astro did a cover of this really catchy tune and I wanted to know the original artist. Well, the original artist turned out to be BTS. Of course, I watched their MV of the song and was a bit disturbed and yet intrigued. From there, I watched additional videos and became amazed by their artistry. Then one day I spent an entire Saturday watching all their music videos in order on YouTube. It took hours. I became curious about who these members were individually and so I watched every introduction to the members video that I could find on YouTube. I found myself intrigued by their backgrounds, their personal story, their relationship to one another, their work ethic, their challenges and personal growth, their message, their personal quirks, their perseverance, and their talent. Their rise to the top was bumpy and unexpected, but well deserved.

Aside from Michael Jackson, I had yet to find another performer putting in the kind of effort to present full performances. Like Michael, these guys provided high quality music, incredible choreography, beautiful staging, handsome visuals, and both a storyline and a powerful social message. To top it off, they invited the fans into their work process and into their personal lives to see the fun, the embarrassing, and the struggles through their own reality shows, documentaries, and personal interactions with fans on V-live. Because of the video coverage that extends from before their June 13, 2014 debut to the present, I could watch them grow, struggle, triumph, struggle again, mature, and then triumph with Grammy nominations and then fail to secure a Grammy Award two years in a row after “Dynamite” and then “Butter“, songs they didn’t write, but sang in English during the pandemic.

For the first time in my life, I purchased more than just albums (and I have them all); I purchased fan items. I have t-shirts and sweatshirts, necklaces, BT21 plushies and figurines. However, I am most proud of my BTS pin collection that chronicles their journey.

In addition, I’m active in four BTS ARMY Facebook groups to share my enjoyment of their content and what they mean to me. I’m a member of the ARMY International Mom’s Group, the BTS ARMY Over 40 group, the BTS! Dope Old People! group and the official BTS FB group. Until this week, the groups have been mostly lighthearted, informative, supportive, and fun (except during in-person concert time when securing tickets to shows is difficult and some are unable to secure them). And then this week happened.

Let me start by saying that anyone who works non-stop for 10 years straight without time to rest and reflect will burn out. And that is what happened for all the world to witness this past week. What was supposed to be a lighthearted nine-year anniversary “Festa” dinner between ARMY and BTS turned out to be a heartfelt announcement that the guys would be taking a break from creating group music to re-discover what their group message will be moving forward and to use the time to put forth individual projects beyond mixed tapes and occasional covers, movie soundtracks, collaborations, etc. While I found this positive, many ARMYs literally lost their minds.

I spent the entire week with my counselor’s hat on trying to help mostly the younger ARMY to see this break as a positive and necessary move. So many people, young and old, discovered BTS during a time of personal crisis. Their message helped those with mental health issues, relationship issues, and health issues to get back on their feet. Many others discovered them during the Pandemic and found comfort in their music and message. For many ARMY members, BTS is their inspiration as well as their happy and safe refuge from the harsh and unpleasant aspects of their lives. Many gained new friendships and found outlets for volunteerism to improve the world. So understandably, many of these fans were terrified that the boys were about to disband, leaving them out in the cold.

This wasn’t at all what the boys were saying, but so many were triggered. Helping ARMY to reframe the abandonment they imagined they heard or actually heard from nefarious sources became my project for the week. Along with others, I did my best to help ARMY understand the humanity of these seven young men and their need as artists to express themselves as individuals and to reflect on and refocus their message as a group. Some found it hard to understand that singing in English for the sake of Grammy recognition, contributed to an identity crisis for the group. However, if one listens to the lyrics in their new title track, “Yet to Come” it is unmistakable that they are returning to their first love, music, and will no longer be seeking industry recognition.

In addition to walking people away from an emotional cliff, I spent time on the Weverse BTS comment line to express my support for their new direction. I even participated in the Purple String Event yesterday, a creative way to share support for their 2nd chapter. It was clear from the dinner that the guys were fearful of disappointing ARMY. It didn’t help that they were drinking pretty heavily because that only unleashed the full expression of their emotions of exhaustion, fear, guilt and identity crisis. Most of them cried and kept asking for understanding and support during the Festa dinner.

Many, like me were upset that they had hidden their exhaustion and that they were fearful that ARMY would not understand them. That hurt my heart. I felt like we were collectively living the lyrics to their song, “Fake Love” with them pretending to be strong when they were weak and putting on a mask to please us while losing their true identity.

Admittedly, it is hard to hear that the two English songs I really enjoyed, “Butter” and “Permission to Dance” sent them into an identity crisis and left them unsure of their next direction as BTS. Because of the immediate misunderstandings and a poor translation, the company and individuals in the group had to quickly clarify that BTS was not disbanding after people seeking click bate said the group was breaking up to pursue solo careers. Even my husband came to me and asked if I had heard that BTS was disbanding. I explained the situation to him in great detail and returned to my Facebook groups.

In conclusion, I love this new anthology three CD album, “Proof”. Not only is the packaging incredible beyond belief, but the three new songs tell the truth of their past work pace, a reflection of their past work and optimism for their new direction, and their love for ARMY. Anyone wanting to get to know BTS can listen to CD #1 and hear all their title tracks from their 19 albums. CD #2 has their individual choice of a solo song, and CD #3 showcases selected demo and studio works. I am convinced that there is going to be more content coming when we have seven men going in seven different directions and also coming together to produce music as BTS. BTS love ARMY and the song dedicated to us on this new CD, “For Youth” is just beautiful. I am convinced that the best is truly “Yet to Come“.

In my early twenties, I was a black conservative. I had become disillusioned by the generational poverty, the petty crimes, the drugs, the teen pregnancies, the jealous rages, the child abuse, the senseless competition, the devaluing of education, and the constant gang violence in the communities of my childhood. Even in church, the scandals were too numerous, the pastoral greed ridiculous, the gossip obnoxious, and the hypocrisy disgusting. Despite my father’s alcoholism and physical abuse, my mother managed to love us kids and to instill in us the core values of non-violence, caring for others, getting an education, and working hard to get ahead. However, those values were contradicted almost everywhere I looked, and so I found myself relieved when she finally escaped my father and the big city for a predominately white suburban neighborhood.

For a while, we continued to make the long drive into the city to attend our black church, but eventually my mother found a white church that was close by. My brothers passed on that, but my mother and I attended together. It was my first intimate glimpse into how white “born again” Christians worshipped and lived. They accepted us without prejudice nor reservation as sisters in Christ.

I was happy to see how they embodied the same values my mother was instilling in us. And honestly, I was liking the short 90-minute Sunday Services and the single “unpressured” offering per service. I missed black gospel music but made do with Sunday night radio, my tapes, and albums. On occasion, I would visit Audrey Crouch’s church in Pacoima on a Sunday night. I traded my Sunday best and fancy hats for blue jeans because I heard that Jesus was concerned about my insides and not my outward appearance. It was the height of the Jesus Movement, so a lot of young people were flooding the church with enthusiasm and a desire to really live by Christ’ teachings. I fit right in. We flooded the Wednesday night Bible studies at The Church on the Way in Van Nuys, California and then dined together afterwards at Bob’s Big Boy. The music changed from traditional hymns to conversions of popular songs into worship songs until we came up with our own genre of worship music using guitars and later entire bans.

For the first time in my life, the values my mother taught us were being reinforced outside our home. The competition for scarce resources was gone and with it the backstabbing, the theft, and the constant pull of people trying to drag me down. In high school, I was encouraged to excel in school, speak proper English, work hard, and be kind to others. I was praised and not ridiculed by my peers for doing well and being kind. I was no longer living in constant fear, and I had escaped the constant threats of crime, the police, and church gossip. Then I graduated from high school and went to USC which was a return to the city and a constant reminder of the mentality, the crime, and the violence I had escaped.

When I married, I returned to the suburbs and to the white church that had been my refuge and strength during my teenage years. It was then that things slowly began to shift in the church. I had been a Democrat since I was able to vote at 18. But all of a sudden, members of the church began talking about how the Republican Party lined up with our family values. The Republicans were the Party that freed the slaves, valued hard work, supported self-determination, and personal responsibility. They were for ridding the streets of all the criminal activity that I had witnessed as a child in the big city.

So, for a brief time I became a Republican. Then Rodney King happened. Then the OJ trial happened. I found myself seeing things differently from my white church friends who sided with the police and saw OJ as obviously guilty. A series of personal events along with graduate school challenged my thinking about the role the government had in perpetuating many of the problems I experienced in my neighborhood as a child. I had experienced school segregation and the lack of resources in our schools compared to the white schools. I experienced housing discrimination firsthand when we tried to rent apartments in a white neighborhood. I knew what it was like to have a store clerk threaten to call the police because she believed I had no right to own a credit card. I had experienced being called the “N” by a hateful person. I had experienced a maternity nurse telling me that my contractions probably didn’t hurt before seeing on the monitor that showed they were at the top of the chart. I had experienced the discrimination of teachers who tried to track my children away from rigorous reading groups and courses based solely on their skin color and not their test scores or academic record. Life was teaching me the truth about opportunities and self-determination.

I soon understood that my white church friends did not see bigotry because they were not bigots. They did not see racism because they were not racists. They did not see discrimination because they would not discriminate. They were classic projectionists. They made excuses for or denied what I was experiencing in my daily life outside the boundaries of the church walls. However, my black skin did not allow me the luxury of looking away and pretending that the systematic racism I was experiencing wasn’t being held in place by the Republican Party.

To prove I wasn’t crazy, I took a deeper dive into American history, government policies, and government resource allocations. I discovered the systems of oppression, discrimination, and white privilege that fed into the police brutality, longer prison sentences, and lack of investment in black communities. The bottom line was that this was no meritocracy. The idea of self-determination was in too many circumstances a mirage. I eventually left that politically minded, now Republican, white church and returned to being a Democrat.

From the outside, I watched the “born again” movement of my teens and early twenties become Trump supporters who completely abandoned the teachings of Christ for the hope of a tyrannical government that will force others to live by their rules and their values. It is easy to be a black conservative among them if you are an ambitious person who is also willing to ignore or work around historical oppression, white privilege, and ongoing blatant discrimination. It is probably comforting to hear people say that they never see you as a black person because your own internalized notion of what it means to be black is negative. It is even easier to be a black Republican if you buy into the evangelical judgement against abortion and gay rights and if you believe that immigration harms poor black people.

These are not the “born again” Christians I once knew. They no longer welcome the stranger but vilify immigrants. They see the poor as deserving of their poverty because they are lazy, drug addicted, immoral, and promiscuous. I’ve watched them become mean-spirited people who arm themselves with weapons, join militias, and refuse to wear masks or take vaccines during a pandemic. And of course, these are the same people who want to ban books that point out the true history of oppression, discrimination, white privilege and systemic racism in this country. They call themselves pro-life but everything they stand for is the opposite.

When I see black conservatives and black Trump supporters, I understand their frustration with the apparent failure of our black clergy, black parents, and public schools to overcome monumental hurdles and to broadly instill the values of respect for human life, brotherhood, education, and hard work in our youth. I understand the frustration with drug addiction, crime, and sexual promiscuity among people who are in survival mode. They believe our black communities are failing us apart from the systems in place to ensure failure. I understand the desire for a safe haven where you are affirmed for your ambition and hard work.

But I also understand that Republicans are not truly offering that haven; they are offering a mirage.

On a personal level, I’m confident that I will thrive no matter which political party is in office because I’m old enough, wealthy enough, educated enough, heterosexual, cyst-gender, Christian, and I reside in a liberal part of California with easy access to voting and minimal physical threat from white supremacists. But I know this sense of safety isn’t true for many Americans and that motivates me to fight against an “American Taliban” that now holds the Republican Party hostage to their religious and white supremacist’s views of what America should be. To be clear, these fanatics are using the 2nd Amendment to arm themselves with high powered weapons of war in case they must overthrow the government itself should Republicans betray them. These dangerous people view the killing of innocents as collateral damage.

I am not personally threatened by Taliban inspired Republican attacks on women’s reproductive rights, LGBTQ rights, banned books, voting rights restrictions, or even climate change denial (since I’ll be gone before the world experiences the worst effects of it). Yet, I find myself ready and willing to fight on behalf of those who are threatened, especially my children and grandchildren. Years ago, I recognized and came to accept four of my strongest attributes. First, I’m an introvert. Second, I love learning and being knowledgeable. Third, I’m highly empathetic. And finally, I’m driven to pursue justice.

Within my personality and ability, I fight. I’m too much of an introvert to protest in the streets and I tried joining political action groups, but I’ve found them too exhausting. The exhaustion from being around groups of people has gotten worse over the years and I find myself dreading most gatherings. I think I’m one of the few who found the social distancing aspects of the pandemic kind of refreshing. I really enjoyed working from home and retired in part because I dreaded having to return to the office full time.

So, my activism as a bonified introvert consists primarily of solo actions like letter writing and emails to lawmakers and government officials and postings on social media to spread awareness on issues and to encourage voting. In addition, I donate to political campaigns and political activism groups. And I do what I can to protect the environment. I drive a hybrid, we have solar panels, conserve water, compost and recycle. What I don’t do is purchase a gun, although I’m seriously wondering if target practice is in my immediate future should civil war break out.

The point is, I care deeply about the future of my children and grandchildren, the country, and the planet. Even if I am not personally affected by the discriminatory and harmful policies of the Republican Party who are beholden to white supremacists and misguided evangelicals, I am determined to use my time, my energy, my ability, my lifestyle, and my vote to do battle on behalf of others who are threatened by those who seek to harm others for their own tyrannical impulses, monetary profit, and political power. I’m just hopeful that it doesn’t come to having to put my body on the line as well.

Back in August 2019, I blogged about the desperate need for gun control. Since then, absolutely nothing has changed legislatively at the federal level while more Americans lie dead leaving behind grieving and traumatized parents, children, brothers, sisters, aunts, cousins, grandparents and friends. We find ourselves in the midst of another massacre of young elementary school children in Uvalde, Texas. It sickens me to hear that number one cause of death among children ages 0-14 in the U.S. is now gunshot wounds, surpassing car accidents. And the greatest percentage of these deaths is among black children. For my post today, I revisited my 2019 post and decided to make updates and add additional thoughts. Here is that revised post:

I’m not a cynical person, but I find myself inwardly expressing a sense of cynicism as, yet another call goes out for thoughts and prayers and vigils for victims of three more-gun massacres by angry young men fueled by a hatred of themselves and humanity and enabled by Republican lawmakers who refuse to pass reasonable gun regulations. These Republicans like Senator Ted Cruz argue that guns aren’t the problem; the decline in morality and mental health is the problem. But if you know that to be the case, then why continue to provide easy access to deadly weapons to the “monsters” you know exist? There is a reason these same senators want to keep nuclear weapons out of the hands of certain leaders; they know they can’t be trusted with them. They argue that the way to stop a bad person with a gun is to have a good person with a gun. Well, we saw these last two weeks how good people with guns didn’t prevent nor protect against bad people with guns. The armed security guard in Buffalo was killed and the police in Texas were too afraid to go in. The armed security guard at Parkland was also too afraid to confront the shooter. We must collectively do more than console ourselves.

I acknowledge that there is value in a community coming together to mourn the senseless loss of life and to encourage and find strength in the resolve of one another to move on. I know this from 2018 when my community was the victim. But my thoughts have once again moved to the need for change. And my prayers have again taken on the nature of “Lord, have mercy on us and help us change our ways.” I don’t want more vigils; I want protests. I don’t want hollow thoughts and prayers; I want legislative changes. In particular, I’m calling out Senator Ted Cruz and “Massacre Mitch” also known as “Moscow Mitch” who is the U.S. senate minority leader to push their party members to pass the gun control legislation already passed by the House.

Since these shootings, this past week, I’ve emailed every Republican senator with an active email address, calling on him or her to pass sensible gun regulations. I’m skeptical of Mitch’s recent public announcement to work with Democrats because back in 2019 he also promised to at least consider passing some form of gun legislation aimed at background checks. Nothing passed back then and now under 2022 pressure from Americans after the three most recent shootings, he is essentially making the same promise. Same political playbook and so I’m doubtful of actual action by Republicans. They are owned by the NRA and the Trump white supremacist base whom I fear are arming themselves for a civil war. Watch Senator Cruiz being interviewed.

The Second Amendment is confusing and has been interpreted in different ways throughout our history. It reads, “A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” Times today are different than they were in 1791 when this Amendment was ratified. The question is whether or not normal citizens who are not part of a militia should be allowed to possess military style weapons without any sort of “regulation”? The thing is, we the people have the right to demand that our lawmakers pass laws that protect the general welfare and public health, especially when it is evident that the status quo isn’t working on our behalf.

I would like to return to the ban on assault weapons. Since it was lifted, mass shootings significantly increased. I would also like there to be full background checks, gun safety licensing, and insurance attached to gun ownership. There must be a ban on the number of bullets a person can purchase and each one should be registered to the individual buyer. These are common sense restrictions that any reasonable person who cares about public safety should agree to. We require safety licensing and insurance to drive a car because we understand it is important to keep people safe. Shouldn’t the same be true of owning a lethal weapon like a gun? And perhaps raising the legal age to 21 for such a consequential responsibility is appropriate too.

As for those who already own assault weapons, I think the government should follow the example of Australia and New Zealand who bought them back. We can either give them to the military or destroy them. What we can’t allow is for these guns to remain in the hands of local gangs, gangsters, white nationalist groups, and angry men. True hunters don’t need these guns to hunt. For those gun enthusiasts who enjoy the experience of shooting assault weapons for fun, make them available at shooting ranges where they must remain under strict protection.

The time is past due for Americans to abandon our perverted love affair with guns. We are turning ourselves into prisoners who are afraid to go to the movies, places of worship, concerts, schools, parks, malls, festivals, and even work. The very fabric of our society is being destroyed. The root of the problem with creating “monsters” might be poor parenting, drugs, hatred, resentment, loneliness, anger and some say, mental illness, but giving them easy access to guns turns them ruthless murderers. The time has come to be truly pro-life and to only elect lawmakers who support sensible gun regulation. These politicians should be earning an “F” rating from the NRA and gun lobby. In the meantime, we must maintain the pressure on Republicans to pass new gun legislation even if it is only for background checks as a start.

I grew up in a world that did it’s best to convince me that whiteness was the standard for beauty, competence, and respectability. Unfortunately, some really believe and continue to push this nonsense. When I was growing up, this fabrication of white superiority was literally reinforced in every school, media outlet, and church. It was inescapable. That false narrative had us seeking the white man’s approval to simply live our lives. Some of the most overt proclamations of white supremacy came from unsuspecting family members. I recall being present during a family discussion when my grandfather literally substantiated a claim by telling everyone that the source of the information was a white man. That single claim ended all interrogation of the argument being made.

It took me years to claim my value as a fully capable human being who is on equal footing in all respects with all other human beings no matter the color of their skin. My confidence grew as I repeatedly outperformed the majority of my peers (including white ones) academically, in sports, and in social settings. It was my parents’ decision to move into a predominately white neighborhood that helped me reject notions of inferiority. That constant contact with white people in my neighborhood, my school, and later my church exposed me to the invisible hand of the government support of their schools, their values, their businesses, and their livelihoods. I came to see that the police worked on their behalf to protect and serve, not to actually police them. I saw their petty crimes being treated as “petty”. None of those potheads next door or in my high school were ever arrested for selling or using pot or any other drug. That white neighborhood had more and better everything than my old black neighborhood because the local governments, banks, and corporations invested in them. It wasn’t because they as individuals were any smarter or morally superior, but because those government representatives, bank executives, and corporate leaders were also white. They had set up an entire system to benefit white people.

I eventually came to recognize that the disparity in schools and neighborhoods was attributed to a systematic and intentional scarcity of resources that encouraged hopelessness, competition, resentment, jealousy, theft, and violence. Throw a few pieces of bread into a pond of starving ducks and watch the ruthless competition unfold. That was what the black and brown neighborhoods were like. Only when my two brothers were robbed of their leather coats on the street did my mother decide it was time to move far away from the minority neighborhoods of my early youth.

It is not lost on me that our history is riddled with stories of how individual blacks or black communities that dare to thrive are destroyed by jealous white supremacists. Their crimes went unpunished by a white criminal justice system they created to fine us or imprison us, not to protect and serve us. I witnessed this firsthand on far too many occasions and I’ve lived my entire life with the understanding that the police are not my friend. As a University Administrator, it was impossible to get a white student arrested for selling drugs on campus. But let a black student play their music too loud and they are right there. We’ve all seen the pictures of five-year-old black children led away in handcuffs. I’ve never been a person to sit silently in the face of injustice, so I began to address the uncomfortable issues.

I spent my entire career in higher education, working along with others to expose systems of oppression and encouraging others to work toward dismantling the notion of white superiority and white privilege. I’ve made many people uncomfortable, even furious, and have borne the brunt of their wrath for it. I have the bumps, scars, and bruises to prove how difficult that fight was. But now, finally, people are starting to see that excellence comes in all colors and that white supremacy was a horrible myth. However, I used to caution that those who benefit from the system of white supremacy and privilege were going to fight to maintain it. And they are. That’s what their misguided “Replacement Theory” is about.

It came as no surprise to me that an 18-year-old white man went to a black neighborhood and killed ten innocent black people in service to notions of an unsubstantiated, but purely self-preserving white supremacy. It’s also not surprising that the police took him alive. After all whiteness still has some privileges. But at least he was arrested and is facing first degree murder charges as well as hate crime charges. Now that is progress. I just wish our Justice Department had the guts to go after the instigators of this nonsense like they went after Dr. King and other civil rights leaders.

The days of inclusion and equity are coming if we join together and fight for that day, because one thing is certain: the notion of white supremacy is a despicable lie, but those who benefit from perpetuating it are willing to fight to keep it in place.

I’m back in Philadelphia completing yet another round of grandparenting while the au pair is back in Columbia for a two-week vacation. After my first week, my younger daughter flew in to finally meet her new nephew in person. During one of our conversations, we both noted a marked difference in how people are relating to each other when it comes to giving and receiving information and feedback. There is a hyper-sensitivity that has creeped into people that makes them explode when confronted with unpleasant information or feedback.

We’ve all witnessed the yelling, the ridicule, and even the violence from people in public places when asked to wear a mask. The unhinged emotional responses to necessary information and honest feedback only serves to silence those around us. And when we become silent when others need important information or honest feedback to make wise decisions, our society ultimately loses. Our public health is in jeopardy. Our environment is in jeopardy.

The deterioration started with our elevation of the ego-manic Donald J. Trump to the position of president. Because of his hyper-sensitivity, his staff now admits to withholding important information from him and to refusing to challenge his wild ideas, to refute his conspiracies, and to contradict his blatant lies for fear of public ridicule. Donald Trump is the poster child for the emperor who has no clothes. Unfortunately, we are quickly becoming a society of naked emperors.

I’ve seen the change in my own adult children’s responses to each other. They’ve become reluctant to share honest feedback with each other for fear of emotional outbursts, arguments, and hurt feelings. I experienced it firsthand when my son literally jumped down my throat when I asked for details surrounding my grandson throwing up overnight. After explaining that I was about to take care of the child and needed to know, I forcefully admonished him not to become a naked emperor. He asked about that reference, and I recounted the tale of “The Emperor Has No Clothes” by Hans Christian Andersen. Without hesitation, he apologized.

Over the years, I’ve learned when to pick a fight and this one is worth having. Because I care deeply about my family’s wellbeing, and because I know it is impossible to make consistently wise decisions without reliable information and honest feedback, I’ve decided to bravely push forward with speaking up when I need to. I may take some uncomfortable arrows, but I’ll remind them of the emperor and let them decide whether to be naked or clothed. So much of the information we need comes from others, but if we cut people off because of our hyper-sensitivity, we limit both the volume and the quality of the information and feedback we receive. And that’s not healthy for us as individuals nor for our society.

Apparently, the Trump era Supreme Court nominees lied to the Senate and the American public when they said Roe v Wade was settled law. Trump promised his small percentage of religious right supporters that he would nominate pro-life justices who would overturn Roe v Wade and that promise looks like it might be fulfilled, despite the 80% of Americans in favor of keeping most provisions for abortion. While I am well past the time when I could be forced to bear a child, this decision still affects me because it will negatively affect people’s trust in one another and perhaps have an ill effect on people I care about. While I’ve never had an abortion, I did miscarry a child that never formed properly in my womb. It’s unbelievable that there are states looking to pass laws that would investigate miscarriages, truly making this a witch hunt. If abortion is murder, then I suppose that makes God Himself the biggest culprit. In an earlier post, I talked about my views on abortion and so I decided to repost some of those views with edits that incorporate our current state of affairs.

Just before I got married, I went to see my doctor to obtain a diaphragm to prevent pregnancy. We had plans to enjoy a few years together while establishing ourselves financially before starting a family. I used my new diaphragm and felt confident that it was doing its job, so much so that it took five trips to the doctor for “indigestion” and “nausea” and my insistence that “No, I couldn’t possibly be pregnant”, for a doctor to finally say, “Let’s do a pregnancy test anyway.” And to my great surprise, I was pregnant! Although, not in our immediate plans, we were happy about the news and welcomed our first baby girl in March 1979. But not everyone who gets pregnant unexpectedly is in the emotional, financial, and supportive network situation I enjoyed back then. Abortion had only recently become a legal option, but it wasn’t an option I needed to consider at the time. Years later, I became thankful that for those women who experienced the desperation of an unwanted pregnancy, a safe abortion was a viable option. I no longer believe abortion is murder and I have yet to meet a woman who would opt for a late-stage abortion without good reason.

Admittedly, my attitudes about abortion have evolved. Back in the early 1980s, I blindly followed the teachings from my conservative white evangelical pastors who became pro-life activists, strangely claiming like others today, that they were acting on behalf of the Almighty to stop “genocide”. The Republicans courted these single-issue voters who eventually cast aside all compassion for others in favor of casting judgment. It took the ugliness of intolerance, several sex scandals, and public moral failings among these men to disabuse me of the notion that they were true followers of Christ. I changed from being a follower of a pastor to a follower of Christ’ actual teachings. Among those changes in my belief system was my view on abortion.

I think it is a good thing that women today have multiple options to avoid pregnancy altogether, and so I hope many more take advantage of these options. However, I know personally, that contraception isn’t 100% effective. That said, I am shocked by the outrageous state laws being passed to prevent women from seeking to terminate an unwanted or unviable pregnancy, sometimes even before she realizes she is pregnant. It’s even more outrageous that a state would criminalize those trying to help her and that any state would offer bystanders a bounty to turn people in. The race to enact the strictest anti-abortion laws in Republican run states is absent both medical advice, fiscal considerations, and basic human compassion.

In particular, I’m furious by how intrusive the religious right and the Republicans are into the private affairs of women whom they don’t know nor care about. They think it is their place to insist that a woman proceed with an unwanted pregnancy, no matter the circumstances, as if that is somehow a simple and noble thing to do. These so call “freedom loving patriots” are happy to force their beliefs on others without compassion nor critical thinking nor any thought to the health, freedom, and lives of the girls and women affected. How dare they!

It is widely known in the medical field that giving birth is actually more life-threatening that surgical or medical abortion. And this is especially true in Texas. Close observers will note that nationally maternal deaths among Black women in particular is nearly 4 times higher than that of white women, and 10-17 times higher in the southern states like Texas. (The United States Maternal Mortality Rate Will Continue To Increase Without Access To Data | Health Affairs) One could easily argue that this isn’t a fight for the lives of the unborn, but an additional assault on the lives of black women who account for about a third of abortions in the country. Does anyone really believe that these white conservative lawmakers want to see a lot more black babies being born? I don’t.

I made my argument about why I don’t view abortion as murder in past posts. To recap, I view life as beginning with breath and the ability of a fetus to take a breath. I believe the womb is a place of formation of the temporary human body that a soul may one day occupy. A fetus doesn’t become a living soul until the breath of life. In Bible scripture we read that it wasn’t until God breathed life into the body of Adam, which He had formed out of dust of the earth, that Adam became a living soul. It is likely true that the midwifes in the early days of our nation, most of whom were black women and who regularly performed abortions before white doctors literally drove them out of the profession, believed the same thing. The idea that life begins at conception is pretty new and began in the pulpit, not the science lab. And the idea that a heartbeat is the start of life is also poor reasoning. The heart is simply a pump that can be transplanted from one person to another. In the womb, it starts pumping the mother’s blood. If these pro-lifers truly believed that begins at conception or with a heartbeat, then they should be having funerals for every miscarriage a woman has. Do they even realize that between 10-20 percent of known pregnancies end in naturally occurring miscarriage? And after age 40, nearly 50% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. Many more women miscarry before they even know they are pregnant, and some estimate the number of miscarriages to be nearly a third of all pregnancies.

While I am outraged by the likelihood of the Supreme Court overturning Roe and the plethora of new laws being passed in Republican states, I realize that we should do a better job educating our daughters, granddaughters, nieces, cousins, and girlfriends about their alternatives so that surgical abortion isn’t even necessary in most cases. Although, in this day and age, I won’t bother to make a case for abstinence. So, first, there is contraception. Yes, it sometimes fails, but for the most part, it is quite effective. Second, there is the Plan B pill for those unexpected sexual encounters. Plan B prevents pregnancy from happening in the event of unprotected sex. Third, there are safe drugs to induce abortion if taken in the first eight weeks of pregnancy. Unfortunately, there are some states looking to ban these drugs altogether and to prevent women from obtaining them through the mail from out of state sources. In addition to educating ourselves, we need to elect lawmakers who have our best interest in mind.

It is necessary in the face of these draconian laws to preserve surgical abortion for those sad cases when the mother’s life is in danger or those rare cases of indecision due to changing circumstances or utter surprise. According to the CDC, abortion rates have been declining for years and that 92.2% of surgical abortions occur prior to 13 weeks’ gestation. That’s a good thing, but we can continue to do better if we educate and encourage the other women in our lives, particularly those in their 20’s who make up almost 58% of surgical abortions about the other options. It looks like denial, procrastination, immaturity, lack of access, and perhaps ignorance are the primary culprits that we should be addressing proactively so that we can collectively avoid an influx of unwelcome babies that we’ll all have to support. With total bans becoming likely in 26 states, women seeking abortion will have to travel out of state to obtain the care they need. This may be difficult if not impossible for poor women. The result will be a rise in infant mortality, maternal mortality, poverty and the crime that accompanies it.

And finally, to the religious pro-lifers who insist that abortion is murder and must be stopped at all costs, I would ask them to consider the actual science and then look at the lives of the young women involved, the fathers, and the innocent babies they are forcing to be born into circumstances that are far from ideal. These same legislators who want to ban all abortions also refuse adequate support for food, healthcare, childcare, and education, essentially condemning these women and their children to poverty. So, if care for life is really all that important, then please begin by 1) supporting sex education and contraception, 2) improving maternal care for black women, 3) ensuring adequate support resources, and 4) for all our sakes, get vaccinated and wear a mask in public and mandate the wearing of mask in schools.

For the rest of us, it is imperative to exercise our civic responsibility by voting for lawmakers who will protect a woman’s right to choose when and if she will bring children into this world. Let’s start by defying history and increasing Democratic representation in local and national elections this year.

Several times a week, I listen to C-Span Washington Journal to listen to the opinions of average Americans on topics of real concern that are rooted in political policy making. More times than not, I am disappointed by the comments and the people making them. So many are painfully misinformed, uneducated, and illogical. However, they are very passionate, and I don’t necessarily blame them. I blame us. We, the American public, have allowed our flow of information to be contaminated by a few wealthy individuals, corporations, and foreign actors, even though we are aware that no one can make wise decisions when the underlying facts are flawed, hidden, or misrepresented. It is scary to listen to people who are angry, frustrated, and terrified because news organizations, bots, and our own elected officials have convinced them that their lives and livelihoods are in constant danger.

I would be disingenuous if I claimed that the level of truth manipulation was the same for Republicans and Democrats because I don’t believe that to be the case at all. The evidence is showing that people who watch Fox News, are on social media, and listen to conservative talk shows are being fed a steady diet of contrived and unsubstantiated accusations against Democrats, teachers, labor unions, the LGBTQ community, immigrants, people of color, and liberal activists. All the while, relevant information, science research, and contextual history is being withheld from them on a regular basis. I agree with President Biden’s remark at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner last night about the job of the press being to inform and not inflame. He insisted that truth mattered for a healthy Republic. And Trevor Noah in his more serious remarks stated how a free press has a huge responsibility to provide the truth. But we all know that too many in the press are too busy trying to enrage and entertain for viewer ratings that translate into advertising dollars. They know that anger and outrage garners more clicks and views even when it is fabricated.

It’s no wonder conservatives are continually terrified that their children are brainwashed by critical race theory, gender and sexuality realities, and science itself. They are encouraged to believe that Democrats gladly open the Southern border to people who steal our jobs, traffic drugs, commit violent crimes, and spread disease and most importantly vote illegally for Democrats in elections. They absorb repeated suggestions that the pandemic was orchestrated by Democrats to control people and steal their liberties. They believe that high gas prices were designed by Democrats to force them switch to renewable energy. They are repeatedly told that Biden is senile and that his son is a criminal. They believe Democratic policies caused inflation, ignoring a pandemic that shut down production and supply lines. And of course, they believe that Democrats are socialists, abortionists, and pedophiles hellbent on destroying America and eliminating police departments. The list goes on.

In the interest of viewership and monetary gain, the conservative press introduces more and more false accusations every day to fuel a culture war based on outright lies, exaggerations, omissions, and the misrepresentations of facts. Social media companies benefit financially from a culture war, so they highlight the outrage rather than the truth. Beyond monetary gains for the conservative press and social media, the Republican Party supports the lies and misinformation in order to win elections without ever putting forth a policy agenda to actually tackle problems in healthcare, inflation, income inequalities, immigration, future pandemics, climate change, and gun violence. Foreign actors have their own agenda to destabilize the country from within through division and they are finding success. China and Russia are aware that a nation divided against itself cannot stand and so they are using our free press and freedom of speech against us.

The irony is that Republicans like to lay claim to Christianity and Bible teachings as their foundation. But in my humble Christian opinion, they have replaced some fundamental truths in service to their greed for money and power. One of the Ten Commandments makes it a sin to levy false accusations against another person. My Bible tells me that God hates liars. Lying is a sin and I guess they forgot that Jesus said that it is the truth that will set us free and that the devil is a liar and the father of lies. And as I recall, all liars have hell waiting for them. They’ve forgotten Jesus’ lesson about welcoming strangers and outcasts and not judging others. They’ve forgotten that we are called to help the poor, the sick, and the prisoner. This Republican Party that so many “Christians” support and vote into office do not stand for any of these values and certainly do not follow any of these principles. These white Republican Christians today have turned into some of the most hateful people around. They claim to protect children, yet they allowed Trump to separate infants from their parents at the border as a punitive measure. They think preventing abortion puts them on God’s side when nearly 1/3 pregnancies end in miscarriage. Does that make God an abortionist, eliminating even more babies in the womb than all the doctors on the planet combined? Or are these simply human bodies under construction that will one day contain an eternal human soul with the first breath of life? And we all know they are okay with allowing babies to wallow in poverty once they are born.

With all that said, the time has come for us to demand the truth from our news media and from lawmakers. We need to demand that social media companies remove the divisive foreign actors on their platforms. It is our civil and moral responsibility to hold news outlets, lawmakers, companies, and our friends and family accountable for creating and spreading lies, misinformation, false accusations and exaggerated nonsense. It’s important because we rely on accurate information to make good decisions about our lives and our livelihoods. Our future, our children’s futures, and that of our country and the planet itself are at stake.