Fully Present Post 50

Some of my favorite Bible passages that guide my everyday life are found in the book of Proverbs. I began discovering and unconsciously memorizing verses in Proverbs as a young teenager. They have become the underlying principles behind much of my decision making and lifestyle choices. In the next few posts, I’ll share some of my favorite Proverbs and how they have impacted my life and relationships.

The first is a well-known and often quoted passage. Proverbs 3:5-6 reads, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.” For an analytical personality like mine, this became an essential reminder for me that I don’t know everything, that information can be incomplete or distorted, and that things are not always what they seem. It is a comfort to trust that I can rely on the God who knows, sees, and understands the daily road I tread and to trust that He will get me through life successfully as I trust His direction. And I do.

I make a habit of listening to my heart even more so than listening to my head. Some people call that voice intuition. Some say it means to follow your gut. Others call it the voice of the Holy Spirit or that still small voice. Whatever it is, it is the voice that I trust and follow even when reason or the evidence I see and hear seem to indicate that I should go a different way. I’ve learned through failure and many experiences that the voice of my heart is always right.

To people who know me, it may sometimes seem like I’m clairvoyant, highly intuitive, or foresighted when in fact I have simply learned to tune into the voice in my heart. I say things like, “I just know” or “I just feel” or “I see this happening”. I have dreams. I see snippets. I hear an inaudible voice. I receive inspiration and “good ideas”. These have been the norm for me for many years and I accept them as normal. I’ll make decisions on whether to take on a new venture or not based on what I’ve come to call “grace” for the venture. It simply means that I feel in my heart that God is providing the open doors, the skills, the courage and the energy to see the project through. I’ve relied on this “grace” so much that I have only ever applied to one specific job or one specific University throughout my entire education and job career and have always been accepted without a moment’s worry. It’s not that I’m so great, but that I had a confidence born from hearing this voice to apply to a particular place.

A good example of a time when I had to fight my head in favor of the voice was when I decided to finally pursue the doctoral degree that I’ve known that I wanted since high school. I didn’t know when or in what subject, but I knew that degree was in my future. As my children neared adulthood and I had earned my master’s in counseling and guidance and was enjoying my career in higher education, I started feeling that the time was approaching. So, I applied to the PhD program in Educational Psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara and was accepted. However, I felt this strange uneasiness in my heart when the acceptance letter arrived. All indications were that it was the perfect program and that the timing was perfect. But I couldn’t shake the uneasiness. That letter sat on my desk for three full weeks before I finally obeyed the voice in my heart and notified the University that I would pass on the offer. I knew that the “grace” to start that program was absent.

I waited another two years. One day in passing, I heard about an EdD program at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) and I immediately felt a strong urge in my heart to apply. I even had to learn the difference between a PhD and an EdD. I was so glad that I waited because in the two years since foregoing the PhD program, I discovered that I enjoyed being a hands-on practitioner who enjoyed transforming research into practice. I enjoyed policymaking and practical engagement as opposed to teaching and research. That was the difference between the two degrees. And an EdD, which I didn’t even know existed, was a much better fit.

Again, I was accepted and this time I strongly felt that the grace to pursue the program was there. I was one of a few in my program who sailed through the program in three years, completing and defending my dissertation without having to make any adjustments to it, which I’m told is unheard of. It was a lot of hard work and really long hours. It was grace that got me through hour (or more) long drives to UCLA several times a week and an unbelievable amount of reading and research, projects and assignments, and finally my dissertation. I would sleep for about three hours and then start studying at 2am every morning before going to my full-time job. I told my friends that I wouldn’t see them for a few years and then completed the degree with enjoyment and ease. At one point, one of my dissertation advisors asked me to slow down because she couldn’t keep up with my passion and pace. That was grace.

My understanding is decent and perhaps better than a lot of other folks, however it is no match for trusting God to direct my path. This Proverb I adopted to guide my life in my early teens was the best decision I ever made because He has never steered me wrong.

In classrooms across America, three kinds of children monopolize the attention of teachers. The most dreaded are those extremely obnoxious, outrageous, and disruptive children. The most revered are the academically eager, highly responsive, and responsible children. And the most liked are the charismatic, talented, and attractive children. All the others go largely unnoticed as they make their way through school. Even to this day, I remember the kids who fit into one of these categories. And as adults, not much has changed.

One of my earliest lessons on how to succeed in society came from the saying that the squeaky wheel gets oiled. To me that meant that I had to get myself noticed to have my needs met. From my earliest days, what I desired most was a peaceful, safe, and equitable environment. Some of that was personality but perhaps that desire also stemmed from being raised in an unstable home with a violent alcoholic father and a hard-working mother who struggled to hold things together.

School was a safe haven where I could relax and enjoy the company of my best friends, Laura and Myrna. In my early school years, I was solidly in the category of the unnoticed and being an introvert, I was comfortable with that because I had what I needed. However, my satisfaction vanished when my two best friends were promoted up to the next grade level when the state eliminated the A and B grade classifications. I remained in the second semester of the third grade while they both moved up to the fourth grade.

At the time, I was emotionally devasted because I thought I was being left behind due to my invisibility. I believed I was overlooked because I didn’t stand out enough academically. That was when I decided to become a squeaky wheel by reinventing myself into the model student academically and socially. Thankfully, I learned well after my academic and social stardom that, like my brothers, my friends’ promotion up was because of their spring birthdates. I was born in the summer and was therefore solidly at the desired grade level for the new system.

But I didn’t know that. The impact of staying where I was while my best friends were promoted up a half grade, pushed me toward academic and social excellence. I became the squeaky wheel that got oiled from fourth grade all the way through college. My teachers noticed me, encouraged me, and they opened multiple doors of opportunity to me. I was blessed with the mental capacity to become the squeaky wheel by positive means. I’m thankful that eventually learning the truth set me free of a chronic fear of being left behind and allowed me to regain a focus on building a peaceful, safe, and equitable environment for myself and others.

When I think of some of the politicians we have elected to office in recent years, I wonder why they get so much attention. Obama captured our attention through a combination of his intelligence, charm, decency, and good looks. But then the nation couldn’t quite gather enough support for a female candidate with intelligence but lacking in charm. By a fluke of the electoral college, this country elected Donald Trump, a disrupter who used charm or charisma (like Hitler) to disguise his corruption and cruelty.

For whatever reason, we as humans give our limited attention to the squeaky wheel. I just hope that we are wise enough in the coming election to check to see what is causing each candidate’s wheel to squeak before we cast our next votes.

I like my doctor because he once told me that his goal was for me to enjoy a healthy retirement. However, it turns out that we have very different methods for accomplishing that goal. His method is medication plus intermittent fasting and mine is the food plus intermittent fasting. It turns out that the kinds of food I consume, the amount I consume, and when I consume it is the key in addition to exercise and good sleep. I wonder if my centering on food and rejection of new medications challenges his thinking.

I recall an observation I made many years ago when I became aware that there were people starving in other parts of the world. I was bothered by the images of emaciated bodies and thought it strange that our country had such an abundance of food that we turned perfectly nutritious food into junk food loaded with fats, salt, and sugar. On the one hand, I was compelled to donate to hunger relief organizations who provided the stables to make bread and porridge, but on the other, I was compelled to consume greater amounts of the junk food being pushed by savvy corporations. As a seventeen-year-old, I once had French fries and a milkshake for lunch. At one point, I had to use a napkin and scrape the congealed grease from the roof of my mouth. It was gross, but it didn’t stop me from consuming either. I realize now that whether it is the abundance of junk food in wealthy countries or the scarcity of basic food in poor countries, we humans are slowly dying because of food.

My over-consumption of food and my addiction to processed and junk food eventually took its toll. It took me a long time to realize than my consistency with exercise, my basic alcohol abstinence, and my avoidance of cigarette smoke were not enough to compensate for my overeating and poor food choices.

My doctor’s answer to my high blood pressure is medication. His answer to my high LDL cholesterol is medication. His answer to my low HLD is medication. His answer to my progressive weight gain was intermittent fasting since I already exercise an hour in the mornings. I do aerobics, stretching, and weight training. But despite all this, I continued to put on the pounds and my metabolic numbers grew worse, not better. Six months ago, I was pre-diabetic and very close to being labeled a type two diabetic. Despite this, my doctor never addressed my food choices.

The issue of healthy eating is very complicated in the United States. Over the years, I’ve tried making many dietary lifestyle changes. The first was a switch to a low-fat diet. The first items to be substituted out for healthier options were whole milk, shortening, cheeses, and lard. I switched to low-fat everything and used smoked turkey instead of pork fat in southern cooking. Then there was the low carb diet where white breads, white pastas, white rice and white sugar were the culprits and brown whole grains became the substitute for everything. I curtailed candy and desserts. I eliminated bacon and lunchmeats that contained nitrates. Eggs were bad and then they were good. Coffee was good, then bad, then good again. Everything in moderation became the thing. Then eating five small meals a day was the answer. Then gut health and getting enough probiotics and calcium became the thing, so plain yogurt became a staple. Then we tried the Paleo diet that glorified animal proteins and made beans, diary (including my yogurt), nightshade vegetables and wheat products the culprits. Then we returned to moderation with hormone free meats and only organic fruits and vegetables. Nothing worked. We only became fatter and sicker.

It wasn’t until my husband was fighting a recurrence of lung cancer, that I started to really look at food for its healing properties. I wanted to support his healing process with the foods he was consuming. I did some research, met with the nutritionists a couple of times and did some more research. I eventually landed on a plant-based diet for us.

At my quarterly doctor’s appointment in May, we had only been on the plant-based diet for about a week. My doctor was concerned about my higher blood pressure and protecting my kidneys. In addition, I was heavier, and my blood sugar numbers were at the edge of type two diabetes. He prescribed yet another blood pressure medication which proved to be intolerable to my system and I had to stop. On the phone, when I told him I had to stop that new medication, I explained to him that I had switched to a plant-based diet and was determined to try that before doing anything more. He gave three months to improve my numbers. At the beginning of July, I added an additional four hours to my intermittent fasting. So, I eat a plant-bases organic diet eight hours a day and fast for 16 hours. And I got results. At my doctor’s appointment last week, I had accomplished the loss of seven pounds while also pushing my blood sugar back into the normal range.

However, my blood pressure is still elevated and my HDL still too low. My triglycerides that had been normal, were now high as fat stores enter my blood stream on their way out. I asked my doctor for another three months to address these issues with the diet and lifestyle changes that I had initiated. I added breathing exercises, a daily walk outside in nature as opposed to the treadmill and bike, and a sharp reduction in my salt intake as well as morning green tea while I am still fasting. Sleep has always been a big problem for me, but I’ve noticed a near miraculous improvement in it. I’m now sleeping an average of six and a half to seven hours a night. I can only attribute this change to my new dietary change where I stop eating by 6pm. I’ve tried everything else that was recommended to no avail.

The temptation to eat foods that harm rather than improve health is everywhere. I now view food for what it is: fuel and body repair or poison. But for me, the greatest motivation is my visit to the doctor’s office every three months. I ‘m excited to see how eating well and less often can restore health to my body. I’m hopeful these changes that improve my health will also provide a case study for my doctor to pass along to his other patients.

I’ve had an interesting week on Facebook since I launched my Fully Present Better Human page. Since it is a public page, it is seen by anyone and everyone and apparently there are some older white men who came across my posting and felt compelled to attack the notion of encouraging people to be fully present better humans. They surfaced when I posted that Better Humans tell the truth. My comment accompanying the poster read, “The truth is the foundation for good decision making. Better humans value the truth and refuse to spread conspiracies, misinformation, speculation and lies. How do you find the truth these days?”

I was called a Marxist, a Socialist and a sellout. I was told I was pushing a mob narrative. I was rightly accused of being a Trump hater. And of course, one of them assumed I was in favor of murdering babies. They acted in tandem, agreeing with each other in their synchronized attack on my page. At one point, I wondered if these men actually knew each other and were a gang of bullies trolling Facebook for people to bully. They were clearly hostile. One blamed people like me for the culture wars and division in the country. One of them said he had done research on who I was, having read some of my writings, for which I thanked him. At the end, two of them summed up their remarks by telling me to be keep quiet about my ideas. Of course, I refused.

But one of the conversations ended on a positive note. The man had been a police officer who initially called me brainwashed and pointed to my support for inclusion and social justice as the root of the division in the nation. He’s the one who claimed to have read some of my writing. I explained that if advocating for inclusion rather than discrimination or justice as opposed to injustice was divisive then I hoped for more “divisive” people like me. It was when we disclosed our personal backgrounds, me as an educated black female and he as a police officer with PTSD that we finally came to an understanding. He stopped calling me names. We came to a common understanding that we both spent our lives in service to others both in our professional and private lives. Saturday morning, I noticed that he deleted most of his posts from the page and that what remains are my rebuttals.

It is interesting and a bit unsettling that grown white men feel so threatened by simple ideas to be better human beings in service to our planet and our society would invite such an attack. But it did. And I was more than ready to defend my position. I do admit that I spent a few minutes revisiting the basics of Marxism, Socialism, and Capitalism in the process. So, here’s where I landed.

I’m not a Marxist. A Marxist centers class warfare between capitalist business owners and workers to the eventual overthrow of capitalism in favor of communism or state-controlled production of goods and services and the elimination of private ownership and profits. I am a capitalist in favor of regulation that prevents the extreme exploitation of workers, politics, and the environment for the purpose of expanding profits. I don’t think the market economy can fully protect individuals and the environment from unscrupulous greedy business owners in the short-term, so regulation is necessary. And I do believe that we have allowed too much capitalist money to unduly influence our politics and policy making as well as our news media. I think our news media should be funded independently with public funds and not owned by wealthy businessmen like Rupert Murdock. However, when it comes to healthcare, criminal justice, infrastructure, and education I prefer to keep the profit incentive of capitalism out of the picture. So, in these sectors, I am more of a socialist. Socialism calls for the production and distribution of these services to be regulated by the community as a whole.

In the end, I’m grateful for the attacks this week. They lead to greater personal clarity on my positions, and I was able to articulate them in my rebuttals. These public arguments provide the opportunity for others to hear different sides to an issue. I avoid name-calling and insults, opting instead to respectfully state my position and my rationale. I’m a kind person by nature and I’m able to genuinely wish them well, although they seem to become even angrier by it. In the future, I will likely continue to engage with people who attack me on Facebook. That is their right. But it is also my right and I feel it is my responsibility to onlookers to defend my ideas and my right to voice my opinion. As a person striving to become a better human for a better world, I will never shrink away from advocating for what I believe is right and good.

This past week it became evident that we needed to purchase a new oven range. In the past, we had maintained a paid subscription to Consumer Reports, and we would rely on their descriptions, ratings, and rankings on products before making a purchase. However, after purchasing three major appliances that had received top ratings but proved to be less than stellar, we cancelled our subscription. Consumer Reports lost their credibility. So, last year we purchased a microwave without Consumer Reports. We did the leg work of considering each model’s brand reputation, reading the specs, consulting salespeople and customer reviews, and closely examining all the features of each model in person. Unlike the Consumer Reports recommended washer and dryer and dishwasher we purchased; we are 100% happy with the microwave we chose without its help. And so, we again followed the microwave method this week and on Friday purchased a lovely oven range that has incredible features that we are confident will meet our needs. But here’s the thing, in a busy and complicated world, it’s helpful to have credible information sources to rely on for good decision making. But like Consumer Reports, many previously reliable sources have loss credibility. The difference is that many have lost their credibility because they are under attack, not because they have failed to deliver.

Certain sectors have lacked credibility for a long time. Few people trust a used car salesman. Perhaps even fewer trust the advertisements of large corporations. And fewer than that trust politicians. Most of us realize that the greedy self-interest of these parties creates their credibility problems. We recognize their bait and switch tactics, their obvious lack integrity, and their long record of failing to deliver. It’s our common knowledge of these shortcomings that has provided us some protection. Their lack of credibility is attached to their consistently poor performance record. However, many Americans today are questioning the credibility of important information sources based on the narrative of a few bad actors rather than actual merit.

In just a few short years, Donald Trump, Rupert Murdock, and their Republican allies managed to destroy the credibility of sources in our lives that we have historically relied on for vital information. Using the cult of personality, the public’s lack of critical thinking skills, and exploiting institutional weaknesses, they infiltrated the television and radio airways and used the internet and social media to strategically sow doubt and confusion about the information coming from previously credible institutions that provided us with news, history, science, and health information.

Without hesitation, they took every opportunity to characterize scientists and health professionals as liars when they rightly needed to revise previous statements with evolving or new information on a topic. They used minor mistakes in journalism to characterize mainstream news media outlets as purveyors of “fake news”, ignoring the many corrections and updates. They manufactured false accusations against their enemies without evidence, calling democrats pedophiles, socialists, or communists and President Biden senile. They exaggerated basic lessons in human sexuality, American history, and science to characterize schools and teachers as evil masterminds who are corrupting children’s minds. They mischaracterized a prayerful knee during the national anthem in protest of police brutality to be un-American.

These days, many Americans have ceased to trust the news, the science, the teachers, the researchers, and even worse, our public health officials. The proliferation of lies and omissions, conspiracies, deflections and misinformation directed toward a largely uneducated and gullible general public in this country has not only wreaked havoc on civil discourse but has cost people their lives due to COVID-19 and has stressed our medical system.

When I listen to the Washington Journal public forum on C-Span early each morning, I am both amazed and disheartened by the people who call in to repeat conspiracy theories, disproven lies, and their own feelings of hatred and distrust of the government, science, the news, and public health officials. When asked where they get their information, they often cite the internet, their own research (whatever that means), or they won’t admit to the obvious source, Fox News political pundits. The moderators are careful not to scold the viewers who call in spouting nonsense; they leave that task to other viewers. I admit that it is often frustrating, but it demonstrates a couple of things important observations about what we must do as individuals who desire to preserve our sources of credible information.

There are seven things we must do: 1) We must protect our schools and teachers by showing up to school board meetings and PTS meetings so that we can support the efforts to teach basic American civics, history, science, and critical thinking in K-12. 2) We must financially support investigative journalism with paid newspaper subscriptions and only watch actual news reporting on television, not the hours of commentary about the news. 3) We need to label our own protestations as either opinion, speculation or fact while asking our friends to do the same. 4) We need to remind our children and each other that new information rightfully leads to a modification in recommendations and actions and does not mean we were lied to. 5) We need to gently remind our religious brothers and sisters that when they insist that their religious beliefs become law, they are inviting a theocracy no different from the Taliban. 6) We need to expose the nature of cults and cult leaders. 7) We need to remind ourselves and encourage others to allow our reason to temper our emotions.

As a community of friends and family, we have a duty to help each other return credibility to sectors of our society who have had their credibility stripped away by nefarious actors hell-bent on causing confusion and distress so that they can rule with impunity and unfettered power. Credibility is earned and sustained, not by perfection, but by integrity and the delivery of reliable information over time. It should never be given nor removed on the basis of mere accusations by a charismatic personality whether that personality occupies the White House, is on television, or is heard on the radio.

I hate watching the news these days because it leaves me angry, frustrated, sad, fearful, and feeling overwhelmed by incidents of evil perpetrated by evil doers. Too often, it feels like our world has been completely overtaken by evil. But then I go to the grocery store and experience the everyday common courtesies of human beings just trying to live happy and peaceful lives. I enjoy spontaneous conversations with “masked” individuals in grocery store aisles or at the checkout line and the unexpected insertion of humorous life situations that often present themselves while I’m out and about. These little gems remind me that most people are decent, peace-loving, fair, and kind-hearted. I realize that most people value truth and reliable information. But I also realize that most people make up a silent majority who need to do much more to make our demands for goodness heard.

There’s this song from a children’s album titled, “Music Machine” that I often played for my kids when they were growing up. The lyrics were taken directly from Bible verse Romans 12:21 that reads, “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” To this day, the melody and the words continuously ring in my head and have become an anthem for my life. Evil exists, but I have enough faith to believe that it can be overcome by good. So, what exactly is evil in my thinking and how do I define good?

I’ve come to define evil as the intentional and unprovoked perpetration of harm upon others. Evil doers are people driven by unfettered internal bloodthirst, sadism, masochism, greed, and self-interest. Evil doers inflict pain and suffering upon others with or without remorse. They have little to no self-control over their emotional need to see others suffer or to amass wealth, exert power, obtain fame or gain prestige at all costs. They are the devil incarnate who come only to kill, steal, and to destroy. Their tools are confusion, deceit, fearmongering, coercion, and violence. I believe the truly evil are rare individuals among us, but they are so outrageous in their behavior and so loud in their proclamations that they capture the headlines of our news media every day. In our collective desire to be entertained, we give them the biggest platform to efficiently spread their poison on television, at rallies, and through social media. Unfortunately, enough of us ushered these evil doers to prominent places of power in our government. And with their prominence they have sowed and then watered the seeds of evil in vulnerable hearts that had held evil in check for most of their lives. Evil begats evil and evil doers have entered the realm of our politics in recent years, threatening to tear our country apart.

I would classify Donald Trump, Steve Bannon, Tucker Carson, Matt Gatz, Margarie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, Rupert Murdock and numerous others as evil doers whose unregulated thirst for wealth, power, prestige, and fame has driven them to water the seeds of racism, sexism, homophobia, and xenophobia throughout the Republican Party under the guise of preserving a white morality that never embraced equality, liberty and justice for all. Jesus told us that we would recognize a tree by the fruit it bears. It is not difficult to recognize the fruit of these individuals. And sadly, their reach has extended to the white evangelical Christian church. Through persistent lies, conspiracies, and deception they have convinced many white evangelicals to push for a theocratic government that harms many and ignores the suffering of human beings while believing that they are acting on God’s behalf. History has shown us that this never ends well. They are following Trump rather than Jesus with their disdain for immigrants, the poor, and the powerless. When did Jesus ever embrace weapons (guns) instead of love?

I watched the Congressional hearing on abortion this past week, and it was disheartening to hear lawmakers talk past each other and repeat the same arguments over and over. The Republicans repeatedly mischaracterized Democrats as being pro-abortion people who want to kill babies just before they are born because of the gender or disability of the baby. If that were true, then that is evil. However, the reality is that Democrats are trying to protect the health of women and the bill seeks to acknowledge the rare medical need for a late term abortion. In another hearing a few weeks ago, they entertained testimony from a practicing OBGYN who testified that something has gone terribly wrong if there is an abortion in the third trimester of pregnancy and that doctors do not provide late term abortions on demand, nor do they kill babies just before they are born. The doctor had to continually correct the Republican talking points meant to mislead the public. It is evil to knowingly and intentionally harm women for political gain, but that is what the Republicans are doing. It is good to protect women and viable life.

And that’s what good is. Good is promoting the well-being of others. Do-gooders act in ways that promote the health, welfare and happiness of others. Again, we can tell a tree by the fruit it bears. The problem is that too many people do not bear any fruit at all. They act on the basis of convenience as they go about their daily lives. They aren’t evil doers, nor are they do-gooders. They simply mind their own business as though they were an island unto themselves. If they witness someone in need, they simply walk by, ignoring the silent plea or sometimes even the loud plea for assistance. They wear invisible headsets and blinders so they will not be bothered. They are apathetic, distracted by their own needs, or simply disinterested in the plight of others.

These are the people whom I hope to reach because they can help reverse the tide of evil we are facing. This is their fight as well. The people on the fence can be activated into action to overcome evil with good if they are recruited by do-gooders.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve launched the Fully Present Better Human Project for the sole purpose of further empowering and enabling do-gooders to inspire fence-sitters to become fully present better humans who take small actions in their everyday lives to help overcome the evil that is now all around us. Small collective actions of good can improve our lives. Together, as fully present better humans we can overcome evil and create the kind of society that we want to live in.

My website is now available and the products to help promote the project are available for purchase to support the efforts. Visit the website at www.fullypresentbetterhuman.com and leave your email for access to the monthly newsletter. I also started a Facebook and Instagram under Fully Present Better Human. Taking a moment to like the page will help me reach more people, especially those fence-sitters. We don’t need to be perfect humans, just better humans who are fully present. Together, we can overcome evil with good.

The pandemic changed a lot of things for a lot of people. I know I retired a few years sooner than I had planned for several reasons. I retired earlier than expected in part due to the requirement to return to the office sooner than I felt safe, in part because of unfavorable changes in the work environment itself, in part because I could afford to comfortably retire, and in part due to the demands of my husband’s cancer treatment. While it may seem like there are many older people like me who greatly contributed to the “Great Resignation” statistics, the actual data shows otherwise. According to a great article I read titled, “18 Great Resignation Statistics” by Jack Flynn from Zippia, young people seeking better pay and more favorable working conditions make up the greatest percentage of people quitting one job to find another. What is evident though is that the shortage of workers and the abundance of new workers makes everyday life a little bit more difficult for everyone.

Over the past several months, I’ve found many of the local businesses I relied on for goods or services have gone out of business. Others are experiencing a remarkable decline in customer service because of either a shortage of employees or employee inexperience. For example, it’s become normal to wait four to six months for a non-emergency doctor’s appointment. Then in dealing with a hospitality company, I fought over a $1200 simple mistake made by an inexperienced employee that took me several months to rectify by a combination of emails, letters, and multiple phone calls. I had to find a store manager to convince a checker that in California food items in their small food market are not taxed. I’ve noticed that it takes longer to receive some items that I ordered, sometimes by a wait-time of months. On Friday, I called my bank’s customer service phoneline and was greeted by a recording that informed me that my estimated hold time was 60 minutes. I’ve waited on hold for as much as 90 minutes to talk to a representative. Most times when I ask a store employee for assistance, I hear the words, “I’m new here, so….” But it’s only getting worse.

Anyone traveling by airplane knows that its pure luck these days to have a flight that isn’t either delayed or cancelled because of pilot or crew shortages since the airlines provided incentives for workers to retire or leave during the pandemic. The stress of the pandemic has also led to a shortage of healthcare providers as many of them exited the field with emotional scars. My son places healthcare technicians and says they have more job openings than trained technicians to fill them. Even though the pay and signing bonuses rise, the stress of dealing with an ungrateful and irresponsible public is just not worth it.

Dealing with an increasingly angry, irrational, inconsiderate and demanding public in addition to unreasonable laws banning history and books, banning abortions, and loosening gun carry restrictions is likely to push even more workers out of public service professions like teaching, healthcare, social work, law enforcement, and poll workers. There will be women in red states who will have a more difficult time finding an OBGYN. There will be overworked social workers dealing with an even greater demand for foster care and family services among poor women forced into giving birth. There will be confused law enforcement officers who can’t tell the difference between a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun. Some will be too cowardly to act in the face of an AR15 like we saw at the Uvalde school in Texas. There will be public schools without enough qualified teachers to teach children actual history or science because they can no longer deal with irrational laws and parents ready to criminalize them in addition to the daily threat of gun violence. There will be a lack of experienced election officials at the voting polls because of crazy people with guns “monitoring elections”. And there will be overwhelmed mental health professionals dealing with heartbreak and hopelessness among LGBTQ youth and adults who are ostracized.

Every day, my email inbox is filled with companies looking to hire. I see help wanted signs in the windows or entries of nearly every place of business I enter. With unemployment at a 50-year low and inflation at a 40-year high and wages rising by about 5% over last year, I fear that even though our pain with higher prices will eventually settle down, our pain with worker shortages and inexperienced workers is just beginning. I predict more deaths caused by inexperience in the air, domestic violence and child abuse, suicide, guns on the streets, and errors in hospitals.

I once read an article that explained how it takes two full years for a new employee to become fully competent and comfortable in a new job. However, when the people who would otherwise serve as mentors or trainers are absent, the training time increases, and more mistakes will be made. It’s scary to think about the effects of pilot error, hospital errors, social worker errors, and police officer errors due to inexperience.

Where there is challenge, there is also opportunity. The opportunity now exists for employers to work harder to retain their existing and new workers by better valuing them, paying them living wages with benefits, and providing them with good working conditions and flexibility to care for family. We know that it costs much more to recruit and train than to retain good workers. There is also the opportunity for workers to demand more of their current employer or to find an industry that is personally rewarding while also meeting their financial and family needs. For many people, it may be time to move to a state where they can practice their profession without fear of arrest or being overburdened. Until public policy and elected lawmakers in red states recognize the detrimental effects of loose gun laws, abortion bans, LGBTQ bans, and bans on teaching history and science, it’s probably wise to steer clear of certain professions in red states. You couldn’t pay me enough to work in these states.

The time to retrain, rethink, and revise our relationship to work is here. Those help wanted signs put workers in the driver’s seat and I hope workers are wise enough and persistent enough to demand better conditions and demand more pay. As a society, I hope we realize sooner rather than later that we must treat public servants with the respect they deserve and also pass laws that help them do their jobs well. If we continue to fail at this, we won’t have the teachers, the doctors and nurses, the social workers, the poll workers, nor the police officers we need to protect and serve any of us.

I enjoy everything about being retired. What I enjoy most is the time and freedom to pursue my passion projects without the time and energy limitations from a job. Now, my only limitations stem from pandemic restrictions, a husband recovering from lung cancer, and family obligations. Other than these, I have been free to discover what I care about and how I want to spend the bulk of my time and energy moving forward.

I intentionally gave myself a full year of retirement to allow my passions to organically rise to the surface. I tried new things like calligraphy and graphic design and social media. And what I discovered is that I’m the same person I was at age 12. I crave order. I crave safety. I crave justice. And I crave beauty. My passion for creating spaces that are safe, orderly, just, and beautiful extends beyond my home and garden; it extends to society. So, as I watched our country descend into a place that I no longer recognize nor admire, I created the Better Human Project consisting of nine principles which I laid out in 11 separate blog posts over this past year (weekly posts beginning October 17, 2021, through December 26, 2021).

I had initially agreed that the Better Human Project would fall under the Inclusion Media Group, a non-profit that my daughter created. However, after deep consideration, my daughter and I decided that its rightful home is under my Fully Present Post 50 sole proprietorship because my purpose isn’t really to push the media to be more inclusive; it is to encourage everyday people to become better humans. I have to thank my brilliant daughter and her other degree in marketing for giving me clarity and then helping me forge a pathway towards inviting others to commit to being better humans and then helping to spread the movement.

Starting August 1st, I will be launching a website and a monthly newsletter for the Fully Present Better Human Project. I will not only feature the nine principles and practical guidelines for fulfilling them, but I will be offering Better Human promotional products to allow like-minded supporters to help spread the notion of what it means to become better humans. There will be mugs, notecards, prints, posters, water bottles, mouse pads, reusable bags and t-shirts for purchase to help spread the message and to financially sustain the efforts. In brief, here are the nine Better Human principles:

Better Humans practice brotherly love, protect the environment, demand social justice, challenge bigotry, are lifelong learners, are inclusive, help the needy, speak the truth, and vote for better humans.

I firmly believe that together we can create a safer, more just, and livable society for ourselves and our families and so I’m dedicating my retirement to helping to make that happen.

I keep saying that elections have consequences. And perhaps now people who have treated their right to vote as an inconvenience will finally wake up to the reality that it truly does matter who is representing them at the local, state, and federal level. While voting for the president is important, voting for mayors, governors, local and state lawmakers, and federal lawmakers is just as important.

Since Friday, I’ve looked at a lot of Facebook postings and Tic Tok videos of people either praising or lamenting the Supreme Court decisions on public funds supporting religious school education, expanding gun rights, and now banning abortion rights at the federal level. Personally, I find these decisions deeply disturbing and not in the best interest of everyday Americans. However, these judges are in place because this country elected Donald Trump and because people in enough states elected Republican senators who ensured the Trump nominees were confirmed. Set aside the fact that two of them misrepresented their views to Senators on protecting longstanding precedence that would have kept Roe v. Wade in place.

On the subject of this detrimental abortion decision, I must add that women, mostly poor women of color, will suffer from this bad decision. Some will die from self-imposed abortions or inadequate pre-natal healthcare and many others will have to endure the derailment of their life ambitions. To add insult to injury, this country has no safety net to adequately support mothers and children and no good system in place to hold men financially and socially accountable for the unplanned children they sire. Ironically, forcing poor women of color to carry unplanned pregnancies to delivery will result in an even faster demographic change that white supremacist fear so much. Maybe then we will be able to fully free ourselves of their desired tyranny.

I told a gleeful religious zealot on Facebook not to be so short-sighted. I pointed out that his own daughters could die if they had an unintended pregnancy that they were too afraid to disclose to him and then tried to end that pregnancy on their own. I pointed out to him that his daughters could die from a tubal pregnancy that doctors refuse to end because of this abortion ban. I also shared my alternative view that personhood begins with the “breath of life” and that the womb is just a place where a body is formed. I asserted that if abortion is murder like he claims, then God must be the biggest murderer because so many pregnancies end in miscarriage. These federal Republicans vow to do away with abortion in all 50 states and to eliminate abortion pills that allow women to end early unwanted pregnancies, so his daughter would be left in desperation, taking us back to the pre-Roe days of coat hangers, falling down steps, and back-alley butchers.

The decisions of the Supreme Court do not represent the will of the people, but they represent the will of a minority of people who voted for Republicans and won because other Americans failed to show up to vote. So, I have a message for the religious male zealot on Facebook who gleefully but mistakenly rejoiced that abortion was banned across the nation by the Supreme Court (it wasn’t), or the young black female on Tic Tok who said voting is a scam because Biden didn’t stop the ruling and because we have majorities in the House and Senate, but this still happened. My message is two-fold. First, learn how our government works. Second, vote in every election for intelligent people who represent your interests and who will pass laws that protect your fundamental rights and who will help ensure public safety.

I’ve made it my mission this year to use my voice to encourage people to vote in the November 2022 mid-term election to secure stronger majorities in the House and especially in the Senate. Historically, the party in the White House loses seats both in the House and Senate. But with the Trump Republican Party on the march, we cannot afford to allow them to govern. They are harboring too much bigotry, too much lawlessness, and too little care for marginalized people and the environment. Their agenda for America would be a disaster for women, LGBTQ people, communities of color, children, and the environment. And they have no answer for high gas prices nor inflation. They lie about Biden being the cause of high gas prices and inflation, depending on the ignorance of people like that religious zealot and that Tic Tok girl to either vote for them or stay away from the polls.

The young woman on Tic Tok didn’t understand that passing legislation in the Senate requires 60 votes, not just 51. The religious zealot didn’t understand the concept of states’ rights. So, consequently, neither understood the importance of their votes in mid-term elections. In fact, the young woman was advocating against voting because she was so disappointed. I countered her argument in the comments as was my civic duty.

I understand that a lot of people are angry today and will be again taking to the streets. And they should. But my hope is that these same people and many others will take to the polls this November to vote. Positive changes will happen when we have lawmakers in place at all levels of government who are committed to gun safety, pro-choice, civil rights, the environment, and public health. The numbers are on our side so we can have the lawmakers we desire if we show up to vote.

Until recent years, I had never officially joined an organized fan group. I was a fan of the Jackson 5, Stevie Wonder, Elton John and later Michael Jackson. I liked many other artists, but these were the ones I really followed. My financial loyalty to them extended to buying albums and attending concerts. I marveled at my friends and cousins who had posters in their rooms of their favorite artists. I never did that. I was content to enjoy their music live or on the radio, on albums and then cassettes, or on television. I followed the trajectory of their lives through television or magazine interviews. I genuinely cared about the art and the artist. But my investment in what it means to be a fan changed when I was introduced to BTS and became an official card-carrying ARMY just prior to the pandemic.

A colleague discovered that I liked Astro, a K-pop group that I stumbled across on YouTube one day and she suggested that if I liked that group, I would really like BTS. I didn’t think much of it until Astro did a cover of this really catchy tune and I wanted to know the original artist. Well, the original artist turned out to be BTS. Of course, I watched their MV of the song and was a bit disturbed and yet intrigued. From there, I watched additional videos and became amazed by their artistry. Then one day I spent an entire Saturday watching all their music videos in order on YouTube. It took hours. I became curious about who these members were individually and so I watched every introduction to the members video that I could find on YouTube. I found myself intrigued by their backgrounds, their personal story, their relationship to one another, their work ethic, their challenges and personal growth, their message, their personal quirks, their perseverance, and their talent. Their rise to the top was bumpy and unexpected, but well deserved.

Aside from Michael Jackson, I had yet to find another performer putting in the kind of effort to present full performances. Like Michael, these guys provided high quality music, incredible choreography, beautiful staging, handsome visuals, and both a storyline and a powerful social message. To top it off, they invited the fans into their work process and into their personal lives to see the fun, the embarrassing, and the struggles through their own reality shows, documentaries, and personal interactions with fans on V-live. Because of the video coverage that extends from before their June 13, 2014 debut to the present, I could watch them grow, struggle, triumph, struggle again, mature, and then triumph with Grammy nominations and then fail to secure a Grammy Award two years in a row after “Dynamite” and then “Butter“, songs they didn’t write, but sang in English during the pandemic.

For the first time in my life, I purchased more than just albums (and I have them all); I purchased fan items. I have t-shirts and sweatshirts, necklaces, BT21 plushies and figurines. However, I am most proud of my BTS pin collection that chronicles their journey.

In addition, I’m active in four BTS ARMY Facebook groups to share my enjoyment of their content and what they mean to me. I’m a member of the ARMY International Mom’s Group, the BTS ARMY Over 40 group, the BTS! Dope Old People! group and the official BTS FB group. Until this week, the groups have been mostly lighthearted, informative, supportive, and fun (except during in-person concert time when securing tickets to shows is difficult and some are unable to secure them). And then this week happened.

Let me start by saying that anyone who works non-stop for 10 years straight without time to rest and reflect will burn out. And that is what happened for all the world to witness this past week. What was supposed to be a lighthearted nine-year anniversary “Festa” dinner between ARMY and BTS turned out to be a heartfelt announcement that the guys would be taking a break from creating group music to re-discover what their group message will be moving forward and to use the time to put forth individual projects beyond mixed tapes and occasional covers, movie soundtracks, collaborations, etc. While I found this positive, many ARMYs literally lost their minds.

I spent the entire week with my counselor’s hat on trying to help mostly the younger ARMY to see this break as a positive and necessary move. So many people, young and old, discovered BTS during a time of personal crisis. Their message helped those with mental health issues, relationship issues, and health issues to get back on their feet. Many others discovered them during the Pandemic and found comfort in their music and message. For many ARMY members, BTS is their inspiration as well as their happy and safe refuge from the harsh and unpleasant aspects of their lives. Many gained new friendships and found outlets for volunteerism to improve the world. So understandably, many of these fans were terrified that the boys were about to disband, leaving them out in the cold.

This wasn’t at all what the boys were saying, but so many were triggered. Helping ARMY to reframe the abandonment they imagined they heard or actually heard from nefarious sources became my project for the week. Along with others, I did my best to help ARMY understand the humanity of these seven young men and their need as artists to express themselves as individuals and to reflect on and refocus their message as a group. Some found it hard to understand that singing in English for the sake of Grammy recognition, contributed to an identity crisis for the group. However, if one listens to the lyrics in their new title track, “Yet to Come” it is unmistakable that they are returning to their first love, music, and will no longer be seeking industry recognition.

In addition to walking people away from an emotional cliff, I spent time on the Weverse BTS comment line to express my support for their new direction. I even participated in the Purple String Event yesterday, a creative way to share support for their 2nd chapter. It was clear from the dinner that the guys were fearful of disappointing ARMY. It didn’t help that they were drinking pretty heavily because that only unleashed the full expression of their emotions of exhaustion, fear, guilt and identity crisis. Most of them cried and kept asking for understanding and support during the Festa dinner.

Many, like me were upset that they had hidden their exhaustion and that they were fearful that ARMY would not understand them. That hurt my heart. I felt like we were collectively living the lyrics to their song, “Fake Love” with them pretending to be strong when they were weak and putting on a mask to please us while losing their true identity.

Admittedly, it is hard to hear that the two English songs I really enjoyed, “Butter” and “Permission to Dance” sent them into an identity crisis and left them unsure of their next direction as BTS. Because of the immediate misunderstandings and a poor translation, the company and individuals in the group had to quickly clarify that BTS was not disbanding after people seeking click bate said the group was breaking up to pursue solo careers. Even my husband came to me and asked if I had heard that BTS was disbanding. I explained the situation to him in great detail and returned to my Facebook groups.

In conclusion, I love this new anthology three CD album, “Proof”. Not only is the packaging incredible beyond belief, but the three new songs tell the truth of their past work pace, a reflection of their past work and optimism for their new direction, and their love for ARMY. Anyone wanting to get to know BTS can listen to CD #1 and hear all their title tracks from their 19 albums. CD #2 has their individual choice of a solo song, and CD #3 showcases selected demo and studio works. I am convinced that there is going to be more content coming when we have seven men going in seven different directions and also coming together to produce music as BTS. BTS love ARMY and the song dedicated to us on this new CD, “For Youth” is just beautiful. I am convinced that the best is truly “Yet to Come“.