Fully Present Post 50

It’s human to pursue a comfortable and fulfilling life. It’s also human to want to pass on a good lifestyle to our children and grandchildren. I think humans are very basic in their needs as Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs posits. Once our basic needs for food and shelter and safety are met, we seek connection to others and personal fulfilment. I’m thankful that my basic needs are comfortably met by the grace of God, my own hard work, and the lucky time and place in which I was born. Of course, it helped to have a warm, smart and supportive mother who convinced me that I could succeed and who sacrificed much to ensure that I had opportunities. She went to bat for me on several occasions to ensure I could go through certain doors.

I wasn’t born a slave like my close ancestors and legal segregation was just ending as I grew up. Even though I was a top student, it took Affirmative Action to open the previously closed doors to prestigious universities and professional employment. It took an end to housing discrimination to allow me to purchase a home in a safe and high economic growth area with excellent schools. These are all required to build a comfortable and prosperous life in this country. I enjoyed connections and personal fulfillment. Building generational emotional and financial wealth is a top priority for me, so I invest heavily in the futures of my children and grandchildren.

The troubling thing is that too many people wish to return to the days when opportunities were reserved for white men only and when talent, ambition, and a great work ethic mean less than the whiteness of someone’s skin color. If we were to deport all the smart, hardworking, talented and creative non-white immigrants and dry up the opportunities for ambitious women and people of color, this country will collapse under its own incompetence, ignorance, and lack of talent.

It was our diversity and immigration that built this country. These have been our strengths. The white pilgrims wouldn’t have survived without the help of the native people already living here when they arrived. Innovation, intelligence, problem-solving skills, a great work ethic, and competence exist within all skin colors and so does ambition and the pursuit of a comfortable and a fulfilling life. Our superpower as a nation has come from attracting the most determined among humanity to live and work within our borders. Just getting here is an act of courage, tenacity, and faith. I wouldn’t be so quick to turn people like that away.

The only people who are angry about immigrants are the under-educated, under-motivated, and the lazy. They are the people unable to compete, so they want to eliminate the competition. Politicians have convinced them that all their problems will be solved if they get rid of the immigrants who came here seeking a better life and who willingly employ their hard work, innovation, and skills that make this country stronger. Many even serve in the military. Whether they are here legally after navigating a ridiculously laborious and expensive (and broken) immigration system or they are here illegally by crossing the border or overstaying their visa, on the whole they contribute more to the country than they are taking from it. They pay taxes. They commit far fewer crimes than the general population. They start and support businesses. And they don’t collect from the public safety pools they pay into like Social Security or Medicare. My solution is not an open border, but a smart and reliable, fully funded immigration system that has more immigration judges than ICE agents.

It is in our collective best interest to educate immigrant children and to provide basic healthcare. The very people who complain about immigrants have forgotten that legal immigration is a relatively new process and has always been riddled with racism, fraud, and inefficiencies. Elon Musk broke the terms of his visa and Melania Trump wasn’t even eligible for the visa she obtained. Our immigration system has never made sense, but it has served the wealthy and the white businessmen who covet cheap exploitable labor. They have kept it that way by buying lawmakers.

When they arrive, new immigrants come with a plan. They will work their fingers to the bone in menial jobs with the understanding that their children will be U.S. citizens who will get an education and become professionals. I have yet to meet an older immigrant family with a son or daughter who isn’t college-educated and working as a professional. This has been my experience for years. All of my doctors are either first or second-generation immigrants. My dentist is a naturalized citizen. Many of the researchers and professors I worked with at the University were first and second-generation immigrants. The tech bros that so many admire are almost all first and second-generation immigrants. Trump finally acknowledged that most native-born Americans lack the math, engineering, scientific and technical skills needed to carry modern industry forward.

Only the insecure who are unable or unwilling to complete support immigration policies that kidnap people without due process and lock them up before deporting them. The brain-drain at our universities has begun and the days when wealthy people with actual criminal and corrupt ways can buy their way into the country and a path to citizenship for $1 million dollars is here. The best and the brightest are finding their way to other countries where education, research, hard work, and innovation are valued. As we cut education and research funding while also cutting immigration, the U.S. will soon find itself with a shortage of doctors, engineers, scientists, and other professionals who provide the services we all depend on. These are the children of immigrant farm workers, brick layers, taxi drivers, and manicurists.

While ignorant Americans applaud cruel immigration raids, degrade education and expertise, gorge on Fox News, and abuse drugs, they are failing to realize that AI poses a real threat to their emotional and financial well-being if it is not regulated. As prices soar, jobs disappear, services become scarce, and the social safety net is removed, they will wake up to discover that their resentment was misplaced. The jobs immigrants took didn’t go to them, but to AI robots. The schools, housing, and healthcare they thought immigrants stole from them are unaffordable. They’ll find that their voices of dissent have been silenced and no legitimate journalist will tell their story. They will discover a true lack of freedom to pursue the life, liberty and happiness upon which our country was founded and they will remain at the bottom of Maslow’s Hierarchy scrounging for food, shelter and safety.

Unregulated AI will certainly worsen the plight of many Americans, but the under-educated xenophobes who struggle to meet their most basic needs on Maslow’s Hierarchy today will have an even harder time tomorrow. I wonder how long it will take them to finally realize that immigrants were never their problem in the first place.

I have one of those friendly faces that encourages people to open up and spill the beans about their lives. And what I’ve learned lately from my daily encounters is that people are anxious, angry, and aware that things are going south very quickly. This past Wednesday, in the nail salon, I had some brief conversations that exemplify some of the issues people are worried about. That was followed by a lengthy conversation in Costco on Thursday and a complaint session lead by my game partner that lasted the entire hour and a half of Bocce on Friday.

On Wednesday, the first thing I noticed, but didn’t address as soon as I sat down at my usual nail station were the ring cameras set up all around the salon. I had long been concerned about their “cash only” operation and the potential for robbery, but I can only guess that fear of desperate people because of the economic downturn or the potential for an ICE raid of a shop employing Vietnamese immigrants must have motivated this drastic change. I didn’t ask for an explanation. Just a few months before, I’d unsettled the peaceful nail spa when I expressed my annoyance that they had Fox News on their large screen television. I, along with several other customers, convinced them not to trust Fox News and they haven’t had it on since.

On this day, the owners of the salon had on a compilation of 80’s music accompanied by video clips of beautiful scenic roads. Having traveled to places like Hawaii, Alaska, Switzerland, and Canada, I knew firsthand that such idyllic scenes existed. I commented how much I appreciated the beautiful scenes and that I wished there was a label identifying the locations of each of them. The owner doing my nails casually replied that they might be AI generated. The customer beside me expressed her confusion and disappointment that we could no longer tell the difference. I agreed and shared that I recently heard an AI engineer say that soon we will only be able to trust the things we see in real time with our own eyes. We all expressed great disappointment in that kind of future.

As previously mentioned, the owners of the salon are Vietnamese immigrants. For a few minutes, the husband turned the channel to watch a Vietnamese immigration attorney. I couldn’t understand what was being said and turned my attention elsewhere. But within minutes, the husband turned to me and said that he just learned that Trump was no longer going to allow people like him to have more than one passport. Apparently, they have dual citizenship. He asked if that meant he would have to obtain a visa to travel back to his home country. They travel to Vietnam frequently and he was concerned. Our conversation turned to the newly announced immigration bans, the removal of protective status, the ICE raids, and Steven Miller’s push to revoke green cards and even citizenship. There was a collective sigh throughout the salon. The angst was real.

I’m always shocked these days by how quickly most conversations turn into a litany of complaints about the Epstein files, illegal bombings of fishing boats by the Navy, brutal ICE raids, blatant corruption, the outrageous pardon of yet another criminal, some revengeful firing or prosecution of anyone who tried to hold him accountable, funding cuts to education, research and public programs, higher prices, the revoking of the professional status of professionals, the rolling back of environmental protections, the ballroom, and the lining of his pockets. The corruption, cruelty, and incompetence are unlike anything we have ever seen, and people are beside themselves with anxiety and anger mixed with a feeling of hopelessness. My husband’s anger and anxiety are no longer tempered, but on fully display as each new outrage crosses his news feed.

I feel those things, too. I just try to remind myself that it is my duty to resist. I resist by not ignoring the wrongdoing and acknowledging it. I resist by supporting candidates at all levels who will oppose his policies, hold him accountable, and do what is best for the country. I resist by participating in protests, boycotts, and writing campaigns while also supporting the organizers (like Indivisible) with donations. I resist by subscribing to reliable online journalism like NPR, More Perfect Union, and The New York Times. I resist by donating to organizations that defend our Constitution in court like the ACLU, Democracy Forward, and the NAACP Legal Defense Fund. I resist by using my small social media presence to post my disapproval of current events. And most importantly, I resist by being a good human in my community and by encouraging others to do the same. I realized on Friday that I resist by talking about it, listening to others vent about, and encouraging participation in resistance efforts. I will no longer shy away from public conversations. Gone are the days of polite conversation when our country is on fire.

With an approval rating of 36%, it is evident that we still need to convince Americans who are either unaware, apathetic, or complicit that this current state of affairs is not only indecent, intolerable, and destructive, but it is unstainable for a nation to thrive with lawlessness, cruelty, a lack of investment in its people, and total incompetence. I’m convinced that the power of the people is greater than the people in power when we rise up together.

I hosted Thanksgiving, and we had a wonderful time. Great food, great conversation, and lots of love to go around. I am now in the midst of decorating our home for Christmas while enjoying leftovers. No Black Friday this year because of the boycott.

This week, please catch up on one of my many past posts and I’ll be back next week with a new reflection.

Like most Americans, I’m past being shocked by the unhinged rhetoric coming out of Donald Trump’s mouth. He lies, he fabricates, he bullies, he blames Biden, he brags, he hurls insults, he extorts, and he encourages violence. There was never a more despicable American president in our history. The sad part is that there are enough mentally deranged hateful and insecure folks with guns who are willing to follow through on his veiled calls for violence against his political enemies.

Recently, Trump began calling Marjorie Taylor Greene a “traitor” and suddenly she became a target for elimination by his most rabid followers. This past Friday, she resigned her position in Congress under the weight of these death threats. What’s even worse is that he called for the actual death of six sitting lawmakers who are military and intelligence veterans because they made a video reminding servicemembers that they don’t have to follow “illegal” orders and that their oath is to the Constitution. He labeled their video “seditious behavior, punishable by death”. And even worse, Speaker Mike Johnson defended him, conveniently leaving off the “illegal” order part when talking to the press. His press secretary said any order by the president isn’t unlawful. But we know that isn’t true as he continues to bomb fishing boats in international waters assuming drug smuggling intentions (a criminal offense at best and without due process) and he lacks authorization for military action from Congress. These six democrat leaders were right to speak up to defend the rule of law and the Constitution. And sadly, I’m not surprised by the swiftness of the death threats against them coming from this president. He needs a compliant military to do his bidding.

Like many, I watch in dismay as Speaker Mike Johnson and national leaders in every sector of society buckle under the enormous pressure to either support the president’s fascist agenda or remain silent. Speaking up puts a target on their back personally or on the back of the University, law firm, agency, company or corporation they run. This president has sieged control through intimidation and so long as these leaders continue to yield to his demands or remain silent, our country will fall farther and farther into economic, educational, and moral decline. Our international reputation has been severely tarnished and the environmental and social safety nets we rely on are in danger of being eliminated.

We know and most leaders know that the Trump Administration is not only corrupt, but incompetent. They are making decisions every day that defy the Constitution, break laws, destroys education, lines their own pockets, hinders economic progress, feeds Trump’s ego, perpetuates violence, and disseminates misinformation. Trump isn’t solving problems; he is making existing problems worse while also creating new ones. Everyone with a brain sees and knows our national decline is happening in real time. Polls show that his support is under water on every issue from the economy to immigration.

But he doesn’t care. Trump has surrounded himself with men and women too immoral or too frightened of him to do what is right. It’s clear that he is the emperor who has no clothes. The people around him are too afraid to speak truth to power. Or worse, they don’t have the truth to tell because they are inexperienced, uneducated, or incompetent. Trump probably doesn’t know the bad news because he shoots the messengers with expert knowledge. Remember how he fired the person in charge of labor statistics because he didn’t like the numbers? There is a long list of competent people whom he fired for doing their jobs with integrity. So, those few who remain have good reason to be afraid and to only tell him what he wants to hear.

With the lack of expertise surrounding him, the bad policy decisions keep on coming. At this point, only courageous district and federal judges are standing in the gap, blocking many of his destructive decisions. However, that can’t last long. It is time that patriotic citizens step up to stop the decline and save what is left of our country. And after we do, we will need to rebuild a stronger and more resilient country to prevent a future Trump-like character from ever taking power again.

Right now, we must push political leaders and industry leaders to stand up and fight for what is good for the country. Boycotts work. Social media outrage works. Yesterday’s protest in Washington D.C., calling to impeach, convict and remove this president was another example of the kind of collective action that is needed. We have strong resistance coming from governors and a few congressional leaders from blue states or districts. But it’s clear that most leaders remain too intimidated to speak for now.

However, I predict that as Americans grow increasingly weary of the high prices, corruption, and absolute nonsense assaulting us on a daily basis, the political winds will shift, and leaders will feel more empowered to draw on the outrage, courage, and support from the people they lead. Only when we push and give them cover will our current leaders stand up to him. It’s obvious that this entire predicament has exposed the fact that we have elevated too many people to positions of power who lack good judgement, integrity, moral convictions, and the courage to do what is right. We’ll have to do better moving forward.

Ultimately, it is up to “we the people” to save our nation from the degenerate con man we elected to office under the false pretense that he can solve problems or the lingering racism and misogyny of too many Americans. Accountability can’t come soon enough and our sustained resistance on every front will make that happen.

Humans are hard-wired to learn. While learning styles may differ, the desire and ability to learn is not attached to a particular race or gender. From birth, we begin learning about others, our environment, cultural norms, and ourselves. Our survival depends on our gaining a sufficient level of education. We make decisions based on our understanding of what we have learned. In most of the world, a good education is connected to personal success and human progress. Education makes us harder to manipulate, less gullible, less vulnerable, and better able to solve problems, innovate, and to accomplish difficult tasks. Education gives us the foundation to ask new questions and to challenge assumptions. These are at the heart of human progress. Humans have the ability to learn throughout our entire lifespan, and I think that’s an incredible gift. I know the old belief isn’t true that “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” because the research shows that you most certainly can!

But we’ve all known folks who claim that they don’t value education, particularly formal education, because they never pursued it. I’ve found that some who lack formal education feel threatened by people with earned degrees to the point of hostility towards the educated. This is increasingly true of young men who are opting out of college while young women are earning college degrees in greater numbers. Not surprisingly, the level of hostility towards educated women in this country is growing. These educated women desire educated men to marry, but in the absence of college educated men, they will settle for a cat. College is important because it represents a willingness to learn.

It is true that a degree doesn’t necessarily mean one person is inherently smarter than another, but it does mean that the person who pursued education likely has obtained greater knowledge in science, history, math and problem-solving skills. Whether because of a lack of opportunity, laziness, or intellectual challenge, less than 40% of Americans over age 25 have obtained a bachelor’s degree (U.S Census; 2023). That means the majority of Americans lack the basic knowledge and critical thinking skills gained through higher education and that should worry us, particularly since we have a president who claims to love the uneducated and it is the uneducated who are overwhelmingly supporting him. It is their lack of education that makes them vulnerable to his lies and accepting of his bullying, his ridiculous protestations, and his corruption. They easily fall prey to the cult of personality above substance.

History has shown us that people who are greedy for money and power, usually men, have used violence to withhold education as a means to exploit and control others. We saw it when slaves were not permitted to learn to read nor write. We saw it with the Taliban forbidding girls to attend school, and sadly we are beginning to see it here again. Republicans are relying on the anti-education policies under the leadership of Donald Trump as a means to maintain power and expand their wealth. We know that Trump was a poor student by all accounts and is clearly an anti-intellectual leader. Republicans are using his lack of education and intellectual laziness to exploit his sociopathic instincts. They know he makes decisions based on what will bring him money, loyalty oaths, and praise rather than the data presented by experts. In fact, experts have been replaced by quacks and other incompetents who lack professional credibility and experience.

Educated people are aware that leaders who ban books, discard or rewrite historical narratives, trade religious myths for science, devalue expert knowledge, ignore or fabricate data, defund University research, ban foreign students, defund educational aid and seek control over curriculum and hiring decisions have an agenda to destroy actual education. We can see that the desire of Republicans to siege permanent control by plunging more Americans into national ignorance is a fool’s errand and won’t end well for the nation. We are watching the brain drain in real time as other nations welcome our best researchers and graduate students as well as the brilliant foreign students we are rejecting. This country will find itself in intellectual decline within a few years.

Someone needs to tell Republican leaders that ignorant people make bad personal choices. Ignorant people know too little to contribute much by way of the innovation and problem solving needed to fuel an economy. Ignorant people turn to violence rather than reason to solve conflicts. Ignorant people can’t oppose destructive public policies. Ignorant people rely heavily on emotions, conspiracies, gut feelings, and myths rather than numbers, science, data, and history to make important decisions. And ignorant people feel so threatened by those with education, that they attack them, contributing further to the brain drain gripping the nation. Think about what that means for the rest of the world when you have an increasingly ignorant American population with a huge army and nuclear weapons at their disposal. Suddenly, we become a clear and present danger to the rest of the civilized world.

Before we allow ourselves to jump off the educational cliff to satisfy the egos of mediocre wealthy white men, we need to say “no”. Our votes in the midterm election as well as in our local school board elections, city council elections, our state elections are our collective way of returning to a nation that values and rewards education. In fact, we need to do a lot more than we did before Trump, not less, to ensure that our children, our grandchildren, and our nieces and nephews get a world class education. We need more men in k-12 classrooms to understand, mentor and encourage boys in their educational journey. I’m not saying that everyone needs a college education to be successful, but every citizen needs a strong basic education that includes science, math, reading and history. Women are attracted to intellectually competent partners with the potential to earn a good living. So, beyond high school, everyone needs either a trade or a college degree that won’t be made obsolete by AI.

As citizens, our commitment to education must be stronger than ever. And it must be unwavering. The time has come to rid ourselves and our country of these anti-education leaders before it is too late.

When I was growing up, my mother hated to hear us kids say that we were bored. Those summer days without school were the worst. She’d respond by saying that only boring people get bored. However, that gentle scolding didn’t prevent that awful feeling that comes from not having something interesting or fun to do. I’m lucky that my mother supported all the activities I came up with to escape boredom.

The list of classes, sports, and other activities I tried out as a kid is extremely long. I tried and quit piano lessons, ballet, Hula, Judo, flute, modeling, and tennis. To varying degrees, I stuck with music, basketball, volleyball, cooking, sewing, knitting, acting, house dancing, crafting, and creative writing. At 12, I discovered a love for art museums and would walk about four miles to the Los Angeles Museum of Art where I would spend an entire day. While building a home for my Barbie dolls, I discovered a love for decorating, and so my mother allowed me to redecorate my room, then the family bathrooms, followed by other parts of the house.

I was encouraged to pursue the things I enjoyed and allowed to quit the things I didn’t. Sometimes I genuinely enjoyed an activity, but not the people or the vibe associated with it, so I’d quit. Other times my passion for an activity wasn’t strong enough to take it as seriously as others wanted, so I’d quit. And then there were times when I had passion but zero talent, so I’d quit. Ballet and piano fit that category. I was on a constant quest to find the perfect balance between my talents, passions, and cultural vibes surrounding an activity. I realize now that I had to like, trust, and respect the people involved and be comfortable in the environment to stay involved. I had a long list of accomplishments from early pursuits that I quickly abandoned.

For example, I choreographed a dance routine for my 6th grade graduation but didn’t pursue dancing nor choreography. I participated in a competitive acting troupe and starred in the one-person play, “Sorry, Wrong Number” but abandoned acting. I graduated as the “Outstanding Police Explorer Recruit” having ranked highest in both the written and physical fitness tests but left the law enforcement explorer scouting program after a year. I was on an elite traveling volleyball team but quit to play both volleyball and basketball in high school. I quit my winning high school volleyball team to play on a newly formed badminton team instead. In each case, talent and passion were present, but I didn’t care for the people or the vibe surrounding the activity.

I discovered a passion for travel when I took my first study abroad trip to Western Europe to study art, architecture, and culture. I spent 15 consecutive years traveling abroad after my last kid left for college. In college I got involved in sorority life and then got married and started having children. So, I put sorority life aside for several years. Right after college, I took a two-year interior design course and finished in just 9 months. I still love decorating homes and offices for fun, not for money. I never stopped loving art, music, dancing, sports, sewing, and cooking. Writing was a constant for me. I journaled every day, wrote plays, sermons, poems and speeches for school, church, civic groups, and work. I wrote three unpublished novels that I put on the hold because I couldn’t travel to promote them with three small children. All that practice writing made writing my dissertation for my doctorate pretty easy. I later assisted other doctoral students with the writing part of their dissertations. Blogging eventually became a fulfilling way to sort out my thoughts and emotions while hopefully helping others.

To this day, I still hate feeling bored. To avoid that feeling, I can’t be without a project or an agenda to fill my day. In retirement, it’s become a bit more challenging because I don’t have a job to go to everyday. I loved working. In particular, I loved my job. It fulfilled my need to help people, problem solve, complete challenging projects, organize and plan, and utilize my creative skills. I miss the simplicity of having a set destination every morning.

I’m concerned that my grandchildren won’t experience this. In the near future, technologist predict that young men and women won’t have to work as if work is a burden and not a potential source of fulfillment. I worry that AI will soon replace the jobs where young people can find purpose and escape from boredom like I did. They say that only a handful of jobs will remain after AI becomes fully enabled. That should worry everyone. Boredom is something most people want to avoid. The problem is that some people find destructive, not constructive activities to fill their time. There’s that saying that idle hands are the devil’s workshop.

The reality is that I’m one of those people who enjoys being active. I’m addicted to the feeling of accomplishment. Even in retirement, I measure my day by how much I’ve accomplished. It doesn’t take much. In fact, sitting quietly in my backyard, watching the birds take turns on the bird feeders counts as a valuable activity for me. Spending time with my husband, kids, or grandchildren is the most rewarding use of my time. I’m grateful that for most of my life, I’ve managed to avoid that feeling of boredom. And I’m still determined to avoid it. In early adulthood, I had my work in education and in business, raising my children, creating and maintaining a beautiful home, making delicious food, throwing dinner parties, volunteering in the community, crafting, reading, gardening, and writing. I was happy to fill in any remaining time with entertainment like travel, good television shows, movies, musical theater and concerts.

It’s funny how my retirement resembles my childhood. I’m back to trying different things to see what I like. I took a calligraphy class and pretty much gave it up after learning two different writing styles. Just no real passion for it. I tried learning Korean for a time, but it proved far too challenging for me. I started a Better Human campaign to counter the ugliness of MAGA but found it was too emotionally taxing to deal with MAGA nonsense. I resurrected and expanded my vegetable gardening and now grow much of our produce. I joined a knit/crochet group at the Active Adult Center and learned to crochet. I’m loving it and continue to expand my skills and list of projects. I jokingly run a test kitchen where I create new recipes or try out recipes from my massive cookbook collection. I purchased a Cricket design machine and occasionally enjoy to creating various projects. I’ve taken up Bocce Ball on Friday mornings with seniors from the Active Adult Center and I’m going on luncheon dates with old and new friends on rotation. And I really enjoy taking myself to lunch with a good book.

This past week, I joined hands with my daughter and AI to create four children’s books to help young boys build emotional intelligence. Of course, my grandsons serve as the motivation for this project. And finally, since several ladies at the Active Adult Center are more comfortable speaking in Spanish than in English, I have begun challenging myself to resurrect my Spanish skills. I studied abroad in Costa Rica at a Spanish language school back in 2011 after I spent a couple of years using cassette tapes, Rosetta Stone and Duolingo to learn Spanish. I love learning the structure of languages and becoming more fluent in Spanish is definitely a goal worth chasing.

On the entertainment front, I’m still into K-pop music. The combination of music, dancing, and production is amazing to me. I’m especially looking forward to BTS’s return this spring since they completed their solo projects and fulfilled their military service. I still enjoy a trip to the movie theater and the occasional non-violent Netflix or Hulu series. I’ve found that I’m especially fond of sports documentaries that highlight the lives of athletes as they compete at the highest levels.

Boredom is an emotion that I avoid at all costs, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I’ve learned how to keep myself occupied and fulfilled, even in retirement. I just wonder what life will be like for those who may never know what it is to work for a living and who will be forced to remain in a constant state of childhood discovery trying to avoid boredom or seeking fulfillment.

Be careful not to become a greedy person. Whether it is greed for money, power, or praise, I think greed challenges our ability to share. Greed hijacks our sense of fairness, demanding a zero-sum game where winners take all and losers are impoverished. Normal people respond to a vast imbalance by giving because they are overcome by basic human emotions like compassion, guilt, or shame. But not the person who is consumed by greed. They are not normal. Their continuous pursuit for more is a perverted need that can never be satisfied, fails to deliver real joy, and invites the scorn of others. Greed leads to corruption, manipulation, lies, bullying, and lawlessness. The greedy person will say or do anything to satiate their craving for more. And then they become paranoid that others will take from them. Only a truly sick person needs to horde billions of dollars, seeks dictatorial powers, and requires a constant stream of praise and recognition. Sadly, I’ve just described the current president of our country.

Donald Trump finally acknowledged that he is not going to heaven. Any true Christian knows this. For starters, he encourages and enjoys cruelty, he finds it impossible to give to others, he can’t tell the truth, and revenge (not forgiveness) feeds his soul. He’s like the rich man who went away sad because he couldn’t bring himself to give his riches to the poor as Jesus asks of His followers. Jesus told his followers that it is far more blessed to give than to receive. And the Bible warns us that the love of money is the root of all evil. Trump is a walking and talking example of evil.

In a country led by Trump, we can decide to be a blessing to others instead of being greedy. The opposite of greed is generosity. Everyone wins when we are generous with our money, our time, our praise, and our power. I learn so much from the senior citizens at the Active Adult Center. Everyone I’ve met there is a giver. The ladies I knit and crochet with are among the most generous people I have ever met. I’m inspired by how they bless each other with small kindnesses in the form of advice, health check-ins, drives to the doctor, food, affirmations, and even crocheted pumpkins.

Last week, one of the ladies in our group gifted each of us a cute pumpkin she crocheted. The adorable pumpkin and the time and thoughtfulness behind it warmed my heart and made me smile. That joy I felt upon receiving the handmade pumpkin inspired me to crochet pumpkins to gift my kids, next door neighbor, and local service providers. I took the idea even further and baked small loaves of pumpkin bread and banana nut bread to expand my gift. As I gave them out, I was blessed to see the joy on the faces of my neighbors, my dentist’s receptionist, my two manicurists, and the staff members of the Active Adult Center.

These are some of the pumpkins I crocheted.

Beyond making gifts, the daily act of being a blessing to others takes the form of unsolicited sincere affirmations, a friendly greeting to others, small acts of kindness, a well-manicured front yard, good grooming, listening, pretty Christmas decorations, and of course giving to those in need.

As our government wastes our tax dollars to further enrich the wealthy, brutally kidnap brown and black immigrants, run concentration camps, blow up fishing boats in international waters without due process, bail out Argentina, fund presidential golf trips, and build a $300 million dollar ballroom at the White House, being a blessing means taking the time to express our disapproval and to demand better of our lawmakers.

But we may also need to dig deeper into our pockets as yesterday millions of Americans lost their SNAP benefits because Republicans refused to tap into the reserves during this shutdown. This shutdown is about preventing millions of people from losing their healthcare to skyrocketing premiums because the subsidies are set to expire. Thousands can’t afford housing. And even more are facing a crisis when it comes to paying for rising food, insurance and utility bills.

Charity begins at home. So, I urge my followers to check in on family members, neighbors and friends to ensure they are okay and help where you can. Then give as generously as possible to food banks and other organizations that stand ready to help those in need. Our small donations add up and inspire others to give as well.

In reality though, it may take reports of long food lines, medical bankruptcies, and stories of people dying to spark the compassion, guilt or shame in the ultra-wealthy who aren’t completely consumed by greed. However, we cannot wait for them to do their part. Our human decency, our joy, our peace of mind, and our need for community demand that we act to help each other. As we give, my sincere hope is that the wealthy who get the biggest tax breaks will be moved to do their part.

I know that there are many wealthy people who are not greedy like Trump. But too many of them are in fact a little greedy because the wealthy among us have the ability to end poverty if they were willing to give more or if our leaders were willing to levy fair taxes on them. We’ve learned over time that “trickle-down economics” doesn’t work because the funds rarely trickle down; they get horded instead, making the rich, richer.

Our job is to pressure our lawmakers to act on behalf of the American people, not just the wealthy. Journalists have the responsibility to expose the suffering that triggers compassion, guilt, and shame among those with more than their fair share. No matter what, I’m determined to practice the art of being human by experiencing the connection, joy, and fulfillment of giving to others. I’m determined to be a blessing because generosity is more beneficial than greed. Generosity strengthens the community and feeds the souls of both the giver and the receiver. The greedy person will never experience this joy nor find satisfaction. They drain society and contribute to pain and suffering.

Jesus was right that it is far more blessed to give than it is to receive. All that is required is that we listen to our heart and the giving will come easily.

If we are observant and honest with ourselves, we can acknowledge the uncomfortable truth that boys and girls are different, especially when it comes to communication. My son talked far less than my daughters when I was raising them. In fact, he started speaking later than both of his sisters and when he turned 15 years old, he basically stopped speaking altogether as if forming words was painful. His vocabulary for a couple of his teen years consisted of a series or grunts with an occasional articulate request, a yes or no response, and some short retorts when someone pissed him off. He wasn’t socially awkward but his ability to comfortably express his thoughts and emotions was never equal to the females around him. Thankfully, he was never allowed to use his fist rather than his voice to make his point, as is the manner of too many men. His preference became avoidance. That is what my husband does and what I recently observed in a disagreement with my son-in-law. They simply refuse to engage in emotionally meaningful discussions that challenge them to express themselves in words. I find that most women are far better with words than most men. Of course, there are always exceptions.

Until the socially awkward tech bros rose to extreme wealth and prominence, our society rewarded men with exceptional speaking skills. Articulate men were held in high regard by both men and women and were rewarded with prominent leadership positions. For most of our history, white men who are good with words dominated influential professions in universities, politics, law, journalism, churches, and business. Of course, white male dominance in these fields was only recently challenged and women came flooding in. Not surprisingly, the growing influence of women in highly influential positions threatens the egos and perceived livelihoods of a lot of men, particularly those who are less educated, socially awkward, and far less articulate.

Even though it was clear that both Hillary Clinton and Kamala Harris were not only far more articulate than Trump but were also more qualified for the position of president, Trump won. There are many who could not vote for Hillary Clinton nor Kamala Harris because they were female. And I surmise that many men chose Trump because he reminds them of themselves and their desire to dominate without the need for fancy words, intellectual arguments, or social graces. The fact that Trump wins by ignoring social norms and uses name calling, intimidation and brutality rather than cogent arguments, appeals to them. Trump reminds them of a time when men could take from women with impunity. He reminds them of a time when might made right. Frustrated men who felt they are unattractive and powerless in a society that has values education, articulate speech and rational behavior mistakenly feel more desirable when Trump wins. They aren’t.

I now have three young grandsons who were also slow to speak. They are sociable and understand everything, but the words are often missing or unintelligible. My second grandson, at 2 1/2 years old is going to speech therapy and the therapist acknowledged that 90% of her clients are boys. It’s not that boys aren’t as smart as girls. It could be that their brains are wired to focus more on physical tasks as opposed to conversation. For example, I converse with my adult daughters almost daily while I’m lucky to have a real conversation with my son once every few months. I find myself guessing a lot with him and him confirming whether what I’ve surmised is correct or not. For example, this past week my son sent me a random picture of his youngest son sitting naked on the toilet. I texted him, asking if this grandson was actively being toilet trained. I received a one-word response the following day, “yeah”. My girls would have explained the triumphs and challenges of toilet training and their feelings about the whole thing. I learned early on that probing my son to tell me more only annoys him. He talks all day at work, and I know how exhausting that is for him. So, I take what I can get from this hardworking devoted husband and father who is loving, law-abiding and ambitious. The differences between males and females can’t be ignored.

Lately, I’ve been noticing how quickly young men are falling behind in academic pursuits. They continue to dominate the STEM fields where verbal acumen is less valued. When I was working at the university, more female students participated in campus activities while the male students played video games in their rooms. As of today, there are more women enrolled in college than men and women are making progress in the workplace, assuming higher positions when merit-based inclusion policies are in place as opposed to cronyism. I’ll say again that women are not smarter than men, but they are generally far better at articulating their thoughts and ideas and they find collaboration and group projects easier to navigate than many men.

That said, too many men feel threatened or belittled by women who can express their thoughts and feelings better than them. It’s disturbing that so many young men are becoming increasingly isolated as the tech bros have introduced AI companions to replace actual relationships with females. For socially awkward men of few words, the fact that it is no longer acceptable to sexually abuse or silence women using intimidation is frustrating. The fact that women no longer need men to survive is even worse for their future prospects. The Republican solution to this problem is to roll back DEI, limit women’s independence, and reintroduce Christianity.

It’s no wonder men who desire relationships are finding that path through religion. Religion coerces women to assume the role of traditional wives and mothers and doesn’t require men to negotiate through communication. They may not be able to win a verbal argument, but religion allows them to continue to dominate. A lot of women have caught on and are choosing not to marry nor stay married to such men. I’m really tired of men who think they win an argument by saying, “We either do it my way, or we don’t do it at all.” These men are finding that women are choosing to not do anything at all with them permanently.

In this country, at this time, we have to meet the challenge to help men and women find a new way of communicating with each other. The answer is not a return to oppressive male chauvinism. And it certainly is not AI relationships instead. We can begin by recognizing that there are some very basic differences in communication, accepting those differences, and learning to work with them. Women will do well to appreciate the task orientation of most men and men will do well to appreciate the gift of gab among women. Maybe appreciation is the answer, not a return to discrimination to force domination.

I’m shocked by the sudden rise in prices on just about everything. Our grocery bill is higher than ever. The cost of eating out has skyrocketed. Cable got so expensive that we cancelled it in favor of paying for our favorite streaming services. Utility bills keep rising, especially electricity. And we have solar! The electric company informed us that they now need to impose a baseline charge for electricity of $25 per month despite not depending on the grid for our electricity but in fact sending them our overage. I understand that the increases are driven by the fact that Edison was sued for fires caused by downed power lines and that data centers (to power the Cloud and AI technology) are now competing for electricity and water. In recent years, renters have been dealing with rising rents. Higher education tuitions keep rising faster than inflation forcing more students into greater debt. The drastic change that few of us saw coming though was the steep rise in the cost of health insurance and homeowner’s insurance.

I have a Medicare Part G supplemental insurance plan. Last year the premium began at $142 per month and a few months later it unexpectantly rose to $178 per month. During this open enrollment period that just began on October 15th, I’ll research other Part G plan carriers. However, after listening to some of my senior friends, I’m not at all optimistic. They are paying more than me. Of course, Medicare itself is going up again from $185 to $206, higher than is typical.

While I lament our higher healthcare insurance costs, I’m worried for younger people who only have medical insurance because of the subsidies provided by the Affordable Care Act. The fight to prevent the expiration of these subsidies is the reason behind the government shutdown. Democrats are trying desperately to save them, while Republicans are keen to finally destroy the subsidies (and by extension the ACA) without a plan to insure those who rely on it. Once again, Republican representatives will be harming the very people who elected them. I don’t think this kind of reckless behavior is sustainable in the long run as people start dying, going bankrupt, or filling the emergency rooms because they lack insurance. Even worse is the probable closure of hospitals and nursing homes in rural areas. In the Big Beautiful Bill, they took away one big source of funding and replaced it with lesser funding. That’s one way to gaslight your constituents into believing you have their best interest in mind when you don’t.

We are also being made more vulnerable to financial ruin by natural disasters as this president cuts FEMA funding and threatens to withhold disaster aid from blue counties and states. This is especially scary as homeowner’s insurance policies are either cancelled, or premiums are substantially increased. Some carriers have left California and Florida altogether. One friend can’t find an insurer. Another said her premium rose from $1500 per year to $3000. We just received a letter from our carrier explaining to us that our premiums were going to go up because of the huge fires last year and the anticipated higher construction costs. While I understand their rationale, we will have to bear the increased cost for now.

I consider us lucky because we spent our entire adult lives saving for retirement. We’ll survive. My concern is for young people and young families starting out. The last couple of job reports show weakness. Of course, Trump fired the head of the Bureau of Labor Statistics because he was angry about the negative jobs report. He’d prefer to suppress bad news or lie about it. The point is that young people will need to work harder to find jobs that pay a livable wage. And even if they do, it appears that AI may displace many workers in the near future.

I think this nation is headed for a serious financial downturn. We have a president who doesn’t understand how tariffs work, who prioritizes unnecessary tax breaks for the wealthiest citizens, and wastes our tax dollars on brutal ICE raids, military parades, bombing “suspicious” fishing boats in international waters, detaining migrants in camps, and bailing out Argentina. The president demonstrates that he doesn’t understand basic math with his nonsensical promise to lower drug prices by 500, 600 and 800 percent. And his administration has spent more money running the government this year than last year despite all the unprecedented layoffs.

Now is not the time to spend money on anything that is not absolutely necessary. It certainly isn’t the time to rack up student loans nor credit card debt. Transferring to a local state university is a smart cost-saving option for students without full-tuition scholarships at private universities. For college bound students, unless a graduating senior is the recipient of a full-scholarship, the tuition-free junior college should be the destination for the first two years followed by a local state school. Even better is sending ambitious high school students to junior college to double dip on high school and college credits for subjects like math, history, science, etc. I know students who graduated from both high school and junior college in the same week and entered university as a junior. Neither parents nor students can risk going into debt to pay for college in this economy.

I’m thinking about how to thrive in this economy. As a financially able grandparent, I’m happy to help finance the upbringing of my grandsons, giving them the necessary advantages in this world. Contributing to childcare, clothes, activities, toys, and even school supplies are ways to expand their access to opportunities and reduce the financial pressures on their parents. Last year, I began passing along notable Christmas decorations to help my adult children decorate their homes without spending much.

Another way to thrive while cutting costs is to return to multi-generational living situations especially for families whose adult children are just starting out, young families, single mothers, and families with elderly parents. My neighbors across the street live in a large-enough home owned by the grandparents (my friends). Their son and daughter-in-law and two grandsons have been living with them since the grandsons were babies. I watch the parents go off to work while one of the grandparents takes the boys to school every day. I have a good friend who is doing the same with her son’s family. She still works, but her husband is retired and takes care of their grandson while everyone goes to work. Her daughter and son-in-law just moved into a house down the street so they could share in the mealtimes and access childcare more easily. She loves it. This is an option for healthy functioning families who like each other.

In healthy relationships, sharing housing costs, housework, and living expenses while also dividing up the care responsibilities for children and the elderly benefits everyone emotionally and financially. My eldest daughter and her husband are making plans to build a family compound as our family expands and we grow older. Sharing space like this could be a good option for single mothers. They could ban together under one household and share expenses and childcare.

What’s becoming evident is that young families need help with childcare and living expenses and the elderly will eventually need support too as nursing homes become unaffordable and unavailable. I have a friend who recently placed his 98-year-old mother in a nice nursing home that costs them $9000 per month. I believe they sold her house to pay for it and he and his sister are also dipping into their retirement funds. Neither of them wanted to care for her in their own homes. The reality is that most people can’t afford to do what they are doing.

I think it’s becoming evident that the old mindset of roughed individualism is fast becoming an economic relic. The economic outlook is that few people will be able to afford to own a home and raise a family in the nuclear family lifestyle we’ve become accustomed to. The elderly without family close by may perish alone. I’m aware when I look around the table at my crochet and knit group at the senior center, that the majority the women are living alone in the large homes where they raised their children. One of our friends fell in her home and was able to call a neighbor for help. It’s clear to all of us that her dementia is getting worse. However, her four children all live in different states, and she refuses to inconvenience them with her problems. I sometimes wonder if the elderly single women would do better joining forces like the “Golden Girls” living together under one roof to care for each other and share living expenses. However, we’ve been conditioned to value our independence, perhaps to our detriment. The next generation may not have that option. And I’m not so sure that that’s necessarily a bad thing given how chronic loneliness becoming a problem.

As the cost of living continues to rise and Republicans remove social safety nets in favor of tax cuts for the wealthy and the privatization of every human necessity for individual profit-making, the time to start rethinking how we live and thrive together is now because the cost of everything continues to rise.

Will decent people who maintain empathy for others, a healthy regard for right and wrong, and an enduring respect for the Constitution and the rule of law determine quick enough that these things are worth fighting for? I hope so. I know I am willing to fight. But is it because I’m in the final chapter of my life and have so little to lose personally? No. It’s because I care about the future of my children and grandchildren. I worry about the kind of life they will have if our country continues along its current path. We are experiencing a brain drain, an economic downturn, a destruction of the planet, and the erosion of morality that values all humanity. Liberty and justice for all are being challenged. It’s not looking good.

I don’t believe most Americans approve of the brutality of masked ICE agents raiding apartments, invading businesses, hospitals, courtroom halls, and smashing car windows to detain non-white men, women and children on suspicion that they may be deportable. These ICE agents aren’t interested catching dangerous undocumented immigrants; they are interested in making their arrest quotas. It’s evident that this administration is hiring violent bigoted sociopathic men and women who disregard the rule of law to carry out this operation with cruelty and brutality. It’s heartbreaking to watch. But it’s also encouraging to see courageous citizens calling them out, challenging them, blocking them, and videotaping them. Sometimes, they too are attacked by these thugs. I hope they sue and anyone falsely retained sues for violations of their civil rights.

I also don’t believe that Americans approve of the indictments of James Comey and Leticia James purely to feed Trump’s petty desire for revenge. Neither prosecution will succeed in court, not only because the accusations are demonstratively baseless, but because Trump can only find incompetent attorneys to prosecute the cases. They’ve already suffered embarrassing days in court, and more are to come if they the cases aren’t thrown out before the trials. I’m encouraged by the fact that career prosecutors refused to participate in these cases. They aren’t willing to risk their law licenses nor their professional reputations for this unwell authoritarian.

It’s clear that Americans don’t like having our freedom of speech taken away, our right to protest challenged, nor do we like having the military policing our streets. Disney learned the hard way that Americans value freedom not cowardice. Target learned this too. But not only are these military deployments wasting our taxpayer dollars, but they aren’t even serving a legitimate purpose. I’m encouraged by the judges who repeatedly rule against the Administration. I’m also encouraged by all the social media posts of everyday Americans showing the actual beauty and peace of their “war-torn” cities. The Trump Administration is continuously being exposed for their lies and false claims. Americans hate being lied to and gaslighted every day. Many just stop listening altogether.

And finally, no one likes for the government to shut down. But if an untenable rise in healthcare premiums for millions of low-income Americans is on the line, then it has to be done. Everyone feels the unfairness that the political leaders continue to be paid during the shutdown while government workers and the military do not. The Republicans would like us to believe that the Democrats are at fault for the shut down, but I think most people realize that it’s the Republicans who have no plan to keep healthcare accessible and somewhat affordable. In fact, Republicans are dismantling all safety nets that help the poorest among us. They are willing to either imprison or allow poor people to die in favor of lining the pockets of their wealthy donors.

As this Administration (with the blessing of Republicans in Congress) destroys public health, weakens the economy, degrades education, denies climate change, and defunds disaster relief, Americans will soon find themselves more vulnerable, sickly, and impoverished than ever. Without reliable information and American ingenuity, America will soon resemble North Korea and Russia where a few people horde all the wealth, innovation is non-existent, freedoms are lost, and the majority of the citizens live in poverty and fear, occupied with barely scraping by. These are not thriving societies. It certainly isn’t the future I desire for my children and grandchildren.

My advice is to wake up your friends, neighbors, and family members to the five-alarm fire threatening to engulf them. Second, I advise folks to save their pennies for the rainy days ahead. Third, I advise folks to build community with those who are like-minded. And finally, I advise all decent Americans to support frontline freedom fighters while also resisting with all their might those who envision a society that lacks liberty and justice for all. I truly believe that liberty and justice for all are values worth fighting for.