Fully Present Post 50

I celebrated the Forth of July with a small gathering in my backyard for a barbecue. I decorated the yard with flags in flower pots, red, white and blue centerpieces, and patriotic tableware. I even created my own playlist of patriotic songs. It was a nice way to celebrate the creation of a nation with high aspirations for liberty and justice for all. Our nation is not yet perfect, but we as patriots continue the daily struggle to make it better. This past week forced us to revisit questions about who is American and what values do Americans stand for.

When I respond to this question, I start with the Preamble to the Constitution: “We the people”. It’s about us, the people who populate this land. Almost all of us are either immigrants or we are the children of immigrants. However, our short history reminds us that the question of who is a person was once debatable. Native Americans were seen as savages. Blacks were chattel, and women were children. All these groups took part in the founding of this nation during the Revolutionary War. Since its founding we have always occupied this land collectively, working to build a nation, yet White men used their violence to exclude whole segments of the population from their rights as people. Thankfully, through a Civil War and multiple Civil Rights Movements, our notion of who is a person has expanded to include people of color, women, and finally LGBTQ persons.

Yet, in July 2019, the president and his followers are challenging this progress. He is toying with the White nationalist stance that only White people are true Americans. Perhaps Nancy Pelosi was right when she said this week that Donald Trump was really about making America White again. Sorry Trump and Trump supporters, but that ship has sailed. Now back to my beloved Constitution.

The Preamble goes on to explain our purpose: “in order to form a more perfect union”. The founders acknowledged that even in their day, the union had flaws. Among the first flaws was slavery, but there were other flaws that they were essentially blind to such as the treatment of Native Americans and the disregard for women. They saw, as we still see, room for improvement toward a more perfect union. Striving towards perfection is an attitude of aspiration, not arrival. It is the continuous improvement model. As a people we must spot our imperfections and strive to be more inclusive and fair.

The founders describe the need to “establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare and secure the blessings of liberty for ourselves and our posterity.” That covers a lot of ground for our daily lives and the lives of our children. There is a lot of room for improvement. However, we’ll only make progress if we have the right people in the three branches of government. These people in government must be able to see, hear, and understand the needs of we, the people, and they must be held accountable to their oath to uphold our Constitution.

That’s why this week was such a dangerous and disgusting one. To have the president of our country brazenly spewing racist and xenophobic comments about four Congresswomen of color who are all citizens of the United States and who have been duly elected to office as representatives to lead us toward “a more perfect union” as they and their constituents see it, is an affront to every patriot.

The president publicly declared that these congresswomen of color must hate America if they see flaws in our nation and that they should therefore “go back to where they came from” rather than aspire to help fix the flaws. His comments are unpatriotic, White nationalist, and worse, extremely destructive. It is counterproductive to silence “we the people” especially when those people are non-white. Remember, Donald Trump himself spent many years criticizing this country and its leaders. What of Bernie Sanders? Notice how he never tells Bernie to go back to where he came from.

I was glad to see Gayle King’s interview on CBS with the four Congresswomen who are nicknamed, “The Squad”. They showed that they are intelligent, thoughtful, insightful, courageous, vocal, positive, and very patriotic woman who love this country and its people. These women have ideas about making a more perfect union and moving towards all the important things our preamble talks about. Their names are Reps. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, D-N.Y.; Ilhan Omar, D-Minn.; Ayanna Pressley, D-Mass.; and Rashida Tlaib, D-Mich.

While I may not agree with all the ideas represented by each of the Squad members, that is not the point. The point is that it is our patriotic duty to point out our nation’s imperfections and then to take part in the real debate over how to make them better. Our duty is to vote in people who can ably represent our ideas for how to perfect justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare and secure the blessings of liberty for ourselves and our posterity. We are after all, the people.

I’m the heaviest I have ever been in my life. And I don’t like it. It’s not only that I don’t care for how I look in the mirror, but so many health risks are associated with carrying the extra weight. So, I’ve looked at my lifestyle and can point to some habits that need to be revised in order for me to lose the weight slowly and to keep it off.

For me, exercise has never been the issue. I already walk and run on my treadmill and bike for 35 – 45 minutes Monday – Friday. I do weights and stretching. I work in my yard on the weekends. I do my own housework. But just about all of my other activities involve sitting. When I’m not at my sit-down office job, I enjoy reading, writing, doing puzzles, sewing, painting pots and watching my Chinese, Taiwanese and Korean soap operas on Netflix. That’s a lot of sitting! It seems that the hobbies I add to my life all entail a lot of sitting. Apparently, I like to use my brain and my hands, but my body isn’t getting the exercise it needs.

I admit that I’ve sometimes ignored my Fitbit when it tells me to move to reach my 250 steps per hour. I’ve been averaging 9 out of 12 Fitbit movement goals each day although I generally reach my 10,000 steps. But no more blowing through those notifications. I’m going for 11 out of 12 movement goals each day. I realize that 12 out of 12 isn’t always possible because I can’t very well stand up and start walking around in the middle of a meeting. The other thing I can do is continue with a 20-minute walk during lunch, something I stopped doing during my July break. And finally, I’m going to add an additional 10 minutes on the treadmill or bike each evening.

But exercise isn’t everything. By far the most important aspect of losing weight is food. I eat way too much of it. I love fruits and vegetables, but I also love beef, fish, lamb, pork, and poultry in portions that are too large and too often. That Paleo diet was right up my alley, but my doctor didn’t like it. And apparently, it’s not so good for the environment either. So, I’ve essentially kept the organic eating aspect of it along with severely limiting sugar, grains, and wheat products. I’m sticking with honey, even in my coffee, and avocado oil, olive oil and ghee.

I long ago gave up soda and fruit juices in favor of more water. Nine times out of ten I grudgingly walk away from cookies, candy, ice cream, donuts, pastries, and desserts. I don’t deserve a pat on the back for this one since my 23 and Me DNA results confirm my preference for salt over sugar. And therein lies a huge problem for me. I love chips and French fries. The other day, I was watching a talk show and the hosts were talking about their favorite type of French fries. Some liked shoestring while others preferred steak fries. My problem is that I haven’t met a French fry or potato chip I don’t love. Moving forward though, I’m going to limit my fried potato intake to mirror that of my intake of sugar, rice, and wheat products. I’ll go back to eggs for breakfast with my plain Greek yogurt, organic blueberry & organic strawberry smoothie. This spring and summer, the strawberries and blueberries often come from my yard. Otherwise, they are frozen organics. These will be the hardest dietary changes alongside of cutting back on my consumption of animal proteins. I’m not a huge fan of eggs, but they make a great breakfast.

Accountability is everything, so I’m going to start keeping track of my progress. My goal is to lose about one pound per week until I have lost 50 pounds. I wrote out an eating plan for breakfast, lunch, afternoon snack, dinner, and my television snack (one bowl of Skinny Pop organic popcorn). I will weigh myself every Friday and record it.

I believe if I can stick to my new plan, with only occasional deviations, then I’ll not only lose the weight, I’ll like the body I see in the mirror, and quite possibly I’ll improve my health outcomes for years to come.

My first experience with a major earthquake was on February 9, 1971. It happened early in the morning and woke me up. That earthquake registered 6.9 and I was terrified. I vividly recall holding on to the sides of my twin mattress thinking that if the wall gave way, I would ride my mattress to the ground from my second story bedroom. And by the way, that Sunday morning in church, I had my actual come to Jesus moment.

Fast forward to the 1994 Northridge earthquake. By that time I was married with three children and a terminally ill mother. The feel of that earthquake was profound as it felt as though the house was being lifted up and down. The kids were so traumatized that they slept on the floor of our bedroom for nearly a month afterwards. The damage from that earthquake was extensive throughout neighboring Simi Valley and Northridge, but our new home, built to earthquake standards, was unscathed.

Living in earthquake territory all these years, I’ve come to appreciate the random nature of when the earth will start shaking. There have been many small earthquakes that don’t rattle my nerves much because I expect them. The key for me is being prepared as much as possible for when the big one hits. And the experts have been assuring us my entire life that the big one is coming. In fact, it is overdue.

Sometime between the 1971 and 1994 earthquake, my mother started teaching earthquake preparedness classes for the city of Los Angeles. Like any good mom, she made sure I knew what to do and what to keep in my earthquake kit. It is because of her that I keep a kit in a closet, complete with flashlight, batteries, food, water, portable blankets, can opener and a first aid kid. A second kit is kept in the trunk of my car. I sleep in pajamas and keep shoes beside my bed. Heavy bookcases are anchored to the walls. I keep at least a quarter of a tank of gas in my car at all times. I know that the safest place is under a sturdy table or desk, not the doorway. I know not to immediately run outside. I know to check for gas leaks. I thought I was basically prepared.

And then the Ridgecrest quake happened this week with a magnitude of 6.4. We didn’t even feel it. Not at all. But it was a reminder that I needed to update our earthquake kits and it occurred to us that Michael didn’t have one in his car. At first he balked at the idea that he needed one. I had to convince him of the randomness of an earthquake and how he might well be on the road away from home when it occurred. Convinced of the necessity, I spent Friday shopping for earthquake items for his kit and to update the current kits.

And then an even bigger, 7.1 earthquake, also centered in Ridgecrest hit that same night. This one we felt. The house swayed gently for at least 30 seconds. We realized that although we were in no danger, there were people who were at that very moment experiencing a terrifying and possibly devastating event. My daughter and her husband who live closest to the epicenter felt it strongest. They had been grocery shopping when the first one hit and were a little shaken by it; this one was bigger. My daughter in Vegas was like me and didn’t feel the first one. But within minutes we were on the phone confirming that everyone was safe and that we had all felt this one.

As humans, we need to affirm our experiences with others. We need to know that we aren’t crazy or alone. There is comfort in knowing that others are just as afraid, concerned, and wary as we are. I’m not certain how helpful it is that the news networks go on for hours playing and replaying every aspect of the earthquake and its many aftershocks–most of which we don’t feel. I admit that one of the first things we did immediately following the 7.1 quake was to turn on the news to see what the coverage was.

My husband used the occasion of this quake to show me where the gas line is in order to turn it off. It was a perfect teachable moment. This last earthquake was a catalyst for updating those earthquake kits and providing one for my husband’s car. It was also a perfect argument for replacing my iPhone 6S because the battery was nearly dead when I might have needed it most. It won’t hold much of a charge anymore and if the electricity is out, I’d have to depend on my car to charge it. So, the biggest expense will be a new iPhone.

I consider myself blessed that today we have the opportunity to become better prepared for living in earthquake country. Others in and around Ridgecrest aren’t feeling so blessed today and will need our financial and emotional support in the days and months ahead.

I haven’t donated a dime or lent my voice to advocate for any of the present democratic presidential candidates. I thought I would have a better idea after the first debate among the twenty candidates on stage over two nights. But I’m only a little bit closer to deciding. I have ruled out a couple of people, though.

The first to cross off my list is Marianne Williamson, the spiritual guru who decided to run for president. Although I like her message of love, it can’t be the only message in this complicated society that needs true solutions to big problems and policies that make sense. Her answers were a little too out there for a pragmatist like me. She seems to be more suited for a pulpit than the Oval Office.

Another was Andrew Yang. Not enough there for me to advocate for. He’s an accomplished businessman and philanthropist who has ideas about universal income and human centered capitalism. I’d like his voice and ideas to be widely heard and he is accomplishing this by running for president. His ideas are novel, but not a winning platform at this point in time.

And then there is Bernie. I’m not supporting Bernie Sanders this time. He seemed more radical to me than before. I’m for universal health care but I don’t really want to outlaw private insurance. He presented his ideas in such an inflexible way that I was put off.

The other thing that became apparent to me was that some of the candidates might be better suited for the vice-presidency. Given our current political climate and where we are in minority relations, I think we’re going to need a straight white guy out front to beat Trump. I hate saying it, but I think that’s where the swing states are. If they would go for a woman, then I think Amy Klobuchar, Kristin Gillibrand, and Elizabeth Warren have a chance, but I think the vice-presidency is more likely for any of them. Some of my other favorites for the vice-president position are Kamala Harris, Cori Booker, and Pete Buttigieg.

Before the debates, I was thinking that a Biden – Harris ticket looked great. But I liked what I heard from a few of the other white males who might not have all the baggage of Biden. I want to hear more before I pick an actual candidate to back. For certain, I want a candidate who can beat Trump and who can deliver for the nation while also restoring a level of trust, integrity, and dignity to the office of the President.

One thing was evident to me from the debate: any one of the twenty candidates on stage could restore dignity to the office of the President and for that I am encouraged.

As an educator, I’ve been hopeful that when people know better, they will do better. But with each passing day and incident by incident, I am losing that hope. I don’t want to become a cynical person, but it seems that the emotional side of humanity seems to overrule sound judgement and good decision making. Several incidents this week, some big and some small, made me question the role education actually has in moving humanity towards a better future.

I was involved in a simple conversation over lunch this past week with colleagues about the financial planners advice to keep a mortgage during retirement. Although the financial reasoning clearly demonstrates the benefits to keeping a mortgage over purchasing a new smaller house outright, the emotional pull one colleague felt over being debt free kept her from being convinced that paying a mortgage was the thing she would do in retirement.

Another small incident that contributed to my disappointment in education was when a colleague from a different department called me at home to ask advice about how to handle a situation in which she felt she was being unfairly treated by a superior. Both she and the supervisor have PhDs and advocate for social justice. They are highly educated and I personally have great respect for them both. Looking at the situation from an educated standpoint, the treatment made no sense. It wasn’t until the probable emotions were exposed that the ill treatment began to make perfect sense.

Humans are emotional beings. We are motivated by positive emotions like love, compassion and empathy to do good. However, we go to war, we steal, we kill, and we will even tear down our own house behind negative emotions like fear, jealously, blind ambition, saving face, hatred, and rage. When enough negative emotions are stirred up, people are willing to injure themselves in the process of destroying others. Sometimes we have to go to war to stop evil from spreading, like in the case of Hitler’s Germany. But other times, we are driven by the greed and ego of a few who in turn ignite the negative emotions of the masses to do their bidding.

The big events of the past week involving Iran and immigration make we wonder if we have learned anything from our history. This administration has stirred up enough negative emotions towards human migrants that too few people protest when he announces a round up of 11 million undocumented immigrants. The family separation and human suffering that such an act would cause would be unpresented. What did we learn from the recent war in Iraq? It was predicated on the lies of a few men in high places. We were easy to fool because of our collective emotions surrounding the horrific events on 9/11. What emotions will lead us to go to war in Iran? I’m convinced that war in Iran will not be based on logic or even truth, but on human emotions and we will all lose.

I don’t want to be cynical and I can’t give up on education entirely. But clearly education alone cannot win over emotions. So, I’m wondering if those of us of good will need to begin to combine education with positive emotions like love, compassion and empathy to try to combat the negative emotions this president is using to do harm to humanity. The very idea of tapping into the powerful human emotions of love, compassion and empathy in combination with education about our common humanity and lessons from history gives me a renewed sense of hope.

I thought it was harmless when my doctoral class photoshopped me into a retaken class photo that I was absent for. I gave my approval for them to photoshop me into the new picture. At the time it seemed like a convenient solution to a problem. That was when the technology and the concept was new. The idea that this was deceptive didn’t occur to us because the central truth was that I was in fact part of this class and the picture they used was from the previous group photo. But today, the innocence of that solution feels utterly lost. Perhaps there should have been a tagline that read, “Juanita Hall was photoshopped into this picture”.

I’ve begun to ask myself how much lying we can endure before we lose all faith in what we hear and what we see? In the age of technology, when people can use free computer software to place people where they are not, make people appear to say something they didn’t say, or simply remove people from where they shouldn’t be or edit out what they should not have said, truth is becoming elusive. There are too few taglines to correct the actual record. We’ve come to rely on news media to tell us when a video has been altered. But what if it doesn’t serve the corporate interest to tell us?

Add to this that we have a president who lies almost every time he opens his mouth. Without any real consequences, the lying in our society has become the norm. Just look at the parents who made their children complicit in lies about their sport participation or SAT scores to get them into elite colleges. It used to be that the public shame faced by lies being revealed was a deterrent. No one wanted to be labeled a “liar”. But no more. I hate looking at the smug face of Lori Loughlin. At least Felicity Huffman shows remorse and humility born from her public shame. Loughlin is the opposite, refusing to admit that her lying and bribes were wrong. The question is who do we want to be as a collective human society?

At the beginning of the Trump presidency, people labeled his lies as anything other than lies out of respect for the office. They would say things like, “The president misspoke”, or that his comment wasn’t accurate, or that he misrepresented this or that. They would say that he was wrong about this fact or that fact. But now after so such a blatant disregard for the truth, they openly say, “The president lied”. Some call him a pathological liar. Others are actually counting the number of lies he has told. What we have lost is the ability to believe anything that comes out of his mouth. We have a president who tells us not to believe what we see or hear. He will make a ridiculously false statement and claim the next day that he never said it.

The fact is that President Trump has no credibility and neither do those who surround him. It appears that those in his administration are willing to lie along side of him. I’m glad Sarah Sanders has resigned, but I will never look at her as an honest person worthy of trust. She has violated the public trust. People in Arkansas would be foolish to vote for her for governor or any other office. The attorney general lied about the findings in the Mueller investigation and he is the top law enforcement officer in the nation!

What happens to a nation when truth becomes elusive? Who and what can you believe? It’s a scary thought, but that is where we find ourselves and I’m scared. My solution is that we need a law that requires taglines whenever non-fictional public video or pictures are altered to substantially change time, place, and content of an event. We have to demand truth or it will become unbearably elusive.

I’m still trying to figure out what it will mean to retire. I accept that part of it is about getting old and the reality of dealing with health issues as the body weakens and breaks down. In fact, I spent three hours yesterday morning in urgent care with my retired husband. He injured his knee at the golf course while simply putting on his golf shoes in preparation for his fourth round of golf this week. We left urgent care with his knee in a brace, crutches, a subscription for 600mg of Ibuprofen, a list of orthopedic surgeons, and my commitment to play nurse maid for several weeks while he heals. My husband has been retired now for almost three years, but I am still working. The majority of our friends are now retired or considering it. It’s been a few weeks since I attended a retirement planning session and I thought I had some things figured out, but my husband’s unexpected injury yesterday jolted my thinking.

I’m grateful for the financial planning professor who conducted the retirement workshop I attended during our community day on campus. She was not only funny and knowledgeable, but she provided great advice and a lot of food for thought. Like any lesson, some of it is worthy of implementation and some requires a bit of tweaking to fit one’s particular circumstances.

Her first bit of advice was to not retire until someone shows you the door. In my thirties, forties, and even into my early fifties, that was something I might have said myself because I really enjoy my job. I enjoy working in an environment where lifelong learning and youthful enthusiasm is central. I’m happy to get up every morning and to go to work. But these days, I’ve noticed a change in myself. I come home exhausted after a normal days work and I almost dread those days when I need to be there after hours, partly because I’m tired and partly because I don’t see well at night and it is dangerous for me to drive in the dark. There are physical limitations that I never anticipated and actual health issues that appeared out of nowhere that I have to deal with. For the first time, I realized that retirement might be physically necessary. And with the injury yesterday, I realized that caregiving could easily force the issue should a more serious health issue arise with my husband or me.

Her second bit of advice was to consider what you’ll do after you retire. How will you spend your time? I took inspiration from a friend’s “Second Act” retirement party and although a retirement party is not something I would desire, I fully embrace the idea of a second act. I’m just not certain yet what mine will be. I’m toying with a few ideas but nothing is solid yet. The financial advisor is fond of working part-time during retirement as a means of keeping the mind sharp and interacting with people for emotional well-being. Isolation and loneliness lead to rapid declines in health. I realized that this too must be tempered with a contingent plan for possible health related issues.

The financial advisor shared a map of the United States and pointed out the most retirement friendly places to live. We had already picked Arizona for its weather and cost of living, and thankfully, it was on the list of best places. Personally, I prefer the idea of moving to Nevada and building a family compound where we could enjoy a shared courtyard and separate homes living among family members. Nevada is a retirement friendly destination too, but my husband had a really bad experience with gambling early in his life and I think he fears the draw of the ubiquitous casino.

Along with the where to live was the physical space. The planner talked about downsizing or reverse mortgages as part of the retirement plan. We’ve chosen downsizing and the next house will be a one story. I was surprised when the planner recommended keeping a mortgage. We had planned to sell our current house and purchase a new one outright. Apparently, that wasn’t the best fiscal management option for tax purposes. But again, the events of yesterday raised questions about our current plan. It had never even occurred to me that we might not be in good enough health to move, however, I can see now that a one story is a must. My husband couldn’t navigate the steps to come to bed last night. He slept in the family room downstairs. And how wise would it be to move so far away from family and friends? We don’t know a soul in Arizona and we would be entirely isolated in case of an emergency.

And then there was the issue spending money in retirement. The financial planner kept reminding us that retirement means you are living on a fixed income that will have to last for an undefined amount of time. She showed a graph that showed how retirees spent their savings. They start off spending a lot for travel and leisure. Then they settle down. But in the end, the greatest amount of their savings is eaten up by health care. The reality is that catastrophic healthcare costs can hit at any time in retirement. All it will take is an accident or a devastating diagnosis. Again, the time spent in urgent care yesterday drove this truth home to me. Thankfully, we have both already fulfilled most of our need to see the world. Few trips remain on our to do lists.

In the end, her greatest pieces of advice were to stay healthy as long as possible, be kind to your children because you will eventually need to rely on them, have a good financial team (attorney, tax accountant, and financial planner), put off taking social security as long as possible to receive the maximum benefit, and never pay the restaurant bill when you dine with your kids. Remember that they are earning and you are on a fixed income.

Except for a solid plan for a second act, I’m ready for retirement. I give myself five years until I’m actually ready, but after yesterday, I realize that I am in desperate need of a contingency plan for everything.

I’ve come to believe that who wins the 2020 elections for the senate majority and the presidency will depend on which party is most successful at tapping into human emotions as opposed to winning rational arguments.

If our elections were about legitimately rational arguments such as ensuring the rule of law, protecting the environment, solid economic policies, smart foreign policy, and expanding constitutional equal protection under the law, then in 2020 there would be no contest. But it’s not about these important issues. It’s about our emotional state as individuals and groups trying to live in an increasingly connected world. For many people, fear has become the driving force behind their political choices while for others a sense of frustration with the current state of affairs is central. Both sides are angry. But which side will be angry enough to actually go to the polls in November next year? I’ve been watching people these past few weeks to see if I can pinpoint the emotions that will make the biggest difference for Republicans and Democrats and everyone in between. And what I’ve seen has convinced me of a way forward for Democrats.

Two days ago, I heard a white male trucker from Pennsylvania whose business is really suffering as a result of Trump’s tariffs say that he is 100% certain that he will vote for Trump again in 2020. He claimed to believe that Trump was “fighting for him” despite the tariffs. I scratched my head as I struggled to understand what rational business person could look at the policies and actions of this president and think that. Then it occurred to me that this trucker, and many farmers who are also suffering great losses, might be more fearful of immigrants, other countries, people of color, gay rights and a woman’s right to choose than their own financial well being.

I realized that if someone is able to convince you that “others” pose a real threat to your survival, then you become willing to suffer in the short-term to get rid of that threat. Trump has been able to use false narratives, wild exaggerations, and skewed statistics (lies) to activate people’s pre-existing fears and prejudices, making those emotions seem based in rational thought when they aren’t. The constant barrage of deception makes their emotions stronger and more difficult to overcome. When listening to Trump supporters, it is evident that they believe that only Trump can protect them against the very threats that they don’t seem to realized that Trump himself has conjured up. The fear is very real. Never mind that it is based on lies and exaggerations.

Sadly, Fox News and other conservative media outlets are complicit in pushing these false narratives while Republican lawmakers are too afraid to correct them. History will record this group of Republican leaders, especially Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, as cowards and hypocrites who failed to do their jobs to protect and depend the Constitution against all enemies, both foreign and domestic. These pernicious lies are doing damage to our democracy and to the welfare of the people in our nation. It is an informed electorate that the framers believed would protect our democracy. But what if the information is false? And sadly, true conservatives know their constituents are being fed lies on a daily basis but they are too afraid to speak up because Trump has captured the unwitting masses in the party by mastering the art of illusion.

On the other hand, the democrats are feeling frustration. It is difficult to expose the daily deluge of the lies, misdeeds, and attacks on human rights and the environment by Trump, especially when half the media and lawmakers are silent about them. Even when exposed, Democrats are frustrated by the inaction among Republican lawmakers who refuse to hold this administration accountable. In 2018, some argue that the House of Representatives was retaken because of issues like health care. I know I voted and campaigned more out of my frustration over this lawless administration that I wanted to hold accountable.

But is frustration as strong an emotion as fear? Can it be sustained? I don’t know. Both fear and frustration can lead to anger and anger can lead to action. But frustration can also lead to hopelessness if the actions taken prove ineffective. After this whole Mueller Investigation, we are left with more false narratives that contradict the actual statements by Mueller himself to characterize his own report. Right now we are in the position of determining whether having elected a Democratic House can and will hold this president accountable even when the Republican Senate will not. Any other president would have already been impeached. But emotions have clouded rational thought and it might be wise to censor, rather than impeach as we move toward 2020.

In my opinion, for 2020 Democrats need to ignite the fear of losing our democracy, losing the rule of law, losing a woman’s reproductive choice, and the threat of losing our planet. At the same time they must stir up another powerful emotion: love. We love our country and we love our children. We want our children to have a planet that is inhabitable. We want a country that is ruled by democracy and the rule of law. We all desire fairness. The narrative of the Democrats can be more powerful if it focuses on our common humanity.

There are plenty of examples. Start with the fact that we are all immigrants. And isn’t it understandable since we all love our children and want a better life for them that any one of us would cross a border if it meant saving the lives of our children? Isn’t having clean water to drink and fresh air to breath a priority? Aren’t we for freedom and opportunity for every American? Don’t we value patriotism, truth, freedom, fairness, and the rule of law? Do we want selfishness, cheating, and lying to become acceptable behaviors? Or do we want to restore mutual respect and decency to our nation? These should be everyday talking points for Democrats if we want to win the senate and the presidency in 2020.

It’s all about emotion. I contend that frustration isn’t enough, but fear of losing so much coupled with love of country and its foundational values might just form a winning combination in 2020.

I recently heard that suicide in the U.S. was highest among middle-age white males. The 2017 statistics indicated that nearly 70% of all U.S. suicides were carried out by white men. Over half of the suicides involved the use of a gun. Although white men have occupied the most privileged position in our society, they are facing a growing demand by women and people of color for increased access to the opportunities once only afforded only to them as white males. The return to a zero-sum game promoted by Trump wherein they continue to be the winners and women and people of color remain at the bottom is dangerous for all of us.

I can only wonder what goes through the mind of a white male who loses his job, fails to get a promotion, or is denied admission to his dream school? What does he think when he sees a woman or minority succeed where he has not? In a country where he has been taught to believe that he will ascend to the top because of his ambition, hard work, and intelligence, he likely was never asked to notice how the obstacles to his success had once been removed. He never saw how competition by equally gifted women and minorities for admission to the best schools or for the best jobs had been squelched for years by “Need not apply” signs explicitly or implicitly erected for women and minorities. Competition for societal prizes is new for them. And they don’t like it! Who would?

The under-educated whites likely view immigrants and globalization as a threat to their livelihood. The social climbers see women, Jews, and people of color as competition for social promotion. Perhaps having the Obamas in the White House for eight years was too much for many of them. White male success is no longer a given and if they do not succeed they are looking for someone to blame. But many know that they cannot with integrity blame other human beings who also have the right to pursue their dreams and aspirations. Their own sense of fairness will not allow for that. So, finding themselves lacking or without the where-with-all to compete and win, are they dealing with their failure in this lethal way?

But other white males are taking a different path. The rise in white supremacy is no joke and the narrative that they are feeding themselves and others is meant to provide them with a way to overcome their feelings of failure and to roll back competition because they have a “right” to the best jobs and to be at the top. Make America great again is code for relegating minorities and women to the lower classes. When young white males are chanting, “Jews will not replace us”, what are they saying? Who benefits when abortion rights are rolled back and women are saddled with children? What happens to a woman’s education and job prospects with an unplanned pregnancy? Who benefits when communities of color are over-policed and prison sentences for black and brown people are systematically longer than that of whites? Who benefits from a broken or severely limited immigration system?

On the surface, some might think that white males benefit from the oppression of others. But in truth, everyone loses. The economic cost, the lost of productivity, as well as the loss of human talent in order to sustain a growing prison system, provide public welfare to raise children born to poor women, and limits on immigration hurt everyone.

Change toward meritocracy is necessary and good for everyone except those who find the change a challenge. Older white men are killing themselves while younger white men are picking fights that they know are morally wrong. A few white males are becoming terrorists, shooting up schools, malls, houses of worship. What is evident, is that our society better come up with a narrative that brings people together in a win-win scenario. Martin Luther King, Jr. said it best, “We either learn to live together as brothers, or we’ll perish together as fools.”

I was surprised that this year’s graduating class at my University only heard commencement addresses given by their fellow students. There was no celebrity, no politician, no successful alum to give advice to the graduating class. Instead, the onlookers got to hear the compelling stories of the resilience it took to finally make it to graduation. That was great to hear and confirming of the relief and celebration that everyone felt, but it didn’t point to the massive future that lies ahead. I felt like we missed an opportunity this year to share a final bit of wisdom with our students leaving the college bubble for the real world.

In truth, I’ve listened to commencement speeches for the inspiration and wisdom they provide not only to the graduates, but also to me and to the many others in attendance. The varied life experiences of past speakers have inspired and broadened my thinking. I’ve always learned from what they have to say. In the absence of a speaker this year, I got to thinking about what I would say to this particular class of graduates.

First, I would say that it is important to start saving money with that every first job, no matter how high or low the pay they negotiated. And ladies, you must negotiate! A wise person never spends everything he or she makes. Start saving for a house, for emergencies, and for retirement immediately. Don’t let that $25 or more even reach your bank account. Make your lunch or forgo a Starbucks coffee once a week, and you’ve got your savings started. The power of compound interest is always greater than you imagine.

Second, I would say that it is important to keep on learning. Technology changes, knowledge keeps growing, and those who will be successful will be lifelong learners who are capable of changing with the times and nimble enough to continuously add to their skill set. Be intellectually curious and cutting edge. Keeping your brain busy will keep you sharp for a lifetime. Exercise both your mind and body. Physical exercise helps improve your emotional and intellectual well being.

Third, I would say that it is imperative to pay attention to the actual news, not just the spin or opinion of pundits. Vote in every election for local, state, and national government. The attention given to civic responsibility will determine the policies for the environment, the economy, social issues and can make the difference between war and peace. Politicians have to be pushed in the right direction by an informed public or we’ll end up with ridiculous laws and rampant government corruption.

And finally, I would say to invest the greatest amount of your time and energy in the people you love and the vocation you love. The gift you give to the world will be greatest if you put your gifts, talents, resources and this expensive education to work investing in the people and the career you are most passionate about. The fruits of that labor will become your ultimate contribution to the world and will become your legacy.

There is so much more to say, like the importance of guarding your reputation, living with integrity, and maintaining good credit, but time is always limited. So, those four points would likely make up the essence of any commencement speech I would give to graduating students. If these words of wisdom are worthy, I hope they will be heard by graduates at my University and those across the nation.