Fully Present Post 50

I’ve fully accepted the fact that one day I will die.  That’s non-negotiable.  What I find myself trying to negotiate with God is the method of my demise.  And falling from the sky in an airplane is at the top of my, “Please, not that way!” list.
Continue reading “Overcoming the Fear of Flying”

Yesterday was my beautiful daughter, Kimberly Joy’s birthday. It is hard to believe that my second child, born on June 2, 1982, after only four hours of back labor is a college graduate, married, and employed 36 year old woman.  It has been a challenging road to get here and perhaps we missed all the small warning signs that something was different in her brain chemistry until she was in college and had her first break in 2003. Continue reading “My Daughter’s Mental Illness”

For most of my adult life I have lived and worked in predominately white sections of Southern California.  Although California is known for its diversity, it is like the rest of the world where neighborhoods are segregated along racial, ethnic or religious lines.  As an adult, I chose to break out of segregation and to integrate as my own contribution to ending prejudice in the world. There are upsides to choosing to live this way, but there are also some challenges.  This week I’m living with what I call the  “Megan Markle Effect”. Continue reading “The Megan Markle Effect”

I can’t go into a movie theater or a restaurant or my office these days without plotting my immediate escape in preparation for an active shooter.  On Wednesday, I sat through my second training on what to do in case there is an active shooter on campus.  For the second time, my entire body went ice cold.  But this time, I got angry, too. Continue reading “Active Shooter”

This is not the usual Mother’s Day for me because it falls on May 13 which is also my mother’s birthday.  I’m reminded of May 13, 1989.   That year, it was also Mother’s Day and my mother’s birthday. I was a mother, but the occasional convergence of my mom’s birthday with Mother’s Day made her the focus of our attention.  However, the festivities that day were abruptly interrupted by news that my father had a massive stroke in his office.  Yes, he was working that Sunday because for an accountant it was still tax season. That stroke ultimately ended his life. So, 29 years later, on another May 13th Mother’s Day/birthday without my mother, I’m smiling, not crying.  Continue reading “Not Just Any Mother’s Day on May 13th”

At a young age I was taught to guard my reputation carefully as it will be the one earthly thing I will take with me to the grave.  Others had convinced me that taking care to live a life of high moral character would take care of my reputation.  And until recently, I had naively believed that to be true.  But over the past week, I learned a harsh life lesson about reputations.  I learned that there are times when I will need to defend my reputation against those who are inclined to destroy it. Continue reading “Reputation Lesson”

I’ve often claimed that spring is my favorite time of the year.  Even in sunny California, spring is an exceptionally beautiful time with the blossoming fruit trees, the wisteria and star jasmine that take turns perfuming my backyard and the inevitable return of the freesia and dahlias I  planted a few years ago.  Roses bloom and the nursery is filled with colorful annuals.  But spring has always meant more substantial life changes beyond my garden.  Continue reading “Spring Always Brings Me Change”

I don’t want to read James Comey’s new book, “A Higher Loyalty”.  I’m not sure I need to after watching him be interviewed day after day.  I think I’ve formed an opinion of him.  And I find that I am truly ambivalent when it comes to him. Continue reading “Thoughts About James Comey”

This week I had the privilege of hearing the experience and expectations of a queer male student on our campus.  As he described his experience, he kept qualifying each account with a “but we only have” or “but we need to have” or “but we don’t have.”  At first, I felt a bit offended by how this student described the glass as half empty and not as half full.  I think sometimes in our push for needed reforms, we neglect to recognize and celebrate progress. Continue reading “Recognizing Progress”

It seems to me that grown children maintain and even perpetuate an impression of their parents that the parents themselves may not even recognize as an image of themselves. I’ve encountered that with my own children. To argue about their image of me is a senseless act of futility that can be disruptive to the current relationship. Continue reading “Musings about Lasting Impressions”