Fully Present Post 50

If a person wants to drive me crazy, all she has to do is espouse some version of fatalism.  The notion that individuals are powerless and have little influence over the course of their lives or that of their community or country.  The belief that circumstances are entirely up to fate and pre-determined by invisible forces drives me crazy.  I come from an opposite perspective, believing in self-determination and that individuals and groups working together have the power to improve their lives, communities, the country and even the world.
Continue reading “Self-determination”

After the 2016 election when Hillary won the popular vote by some 3 million votes but still lost the election, I suggested to one of my students that it would be helpful if we moved busloads of progressives to the Midwest because the problem that afflicts our nation is segregation.
Continue reading “Relocation to the Midwest”

This was a rough week.  It was a tough politically charged and emotionally draining week surrounding the nomination of Judge Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court.  I spent almost every minute on the treadmill this week writing to senators from my cell phone, mostly venting about the ridiculously rushed process, the lack of documents shared, and the role alcohol often plays in sexual assault.  I shared that I believe Ford was assaulted by Kavanaugh and I believe he has no memory of the assault.  I also believe Kavanaugh lied, mislead, and misrepresented his past on several occasions.  But none of that matters to these fearful and determined white men. Continue reading “Determined White Men”

In this moment, being locked inside a female body holds an incredible level of salience for half the population of this nation.  In the days ahead,  a group of aging white males will decide again how we who happen to occupy female  bodies are used, valued, and viewed.  Thankfully, two strong white women are being lobbied to stand in their way.  For me, it’s taken a lifetime of challenges to navigate this world in the body of a female. Continue reading “This Female Body”

I had an interesting two days this week when I urged students at the University where I work to take a moment to publicly share how they plan to be involved in preserving their civil liberties this year.  The event was designed to convey the expectation of personal civic responsibility and more. Continue reading “Civic Duty”

I am an addict.  My brain is addicted to the high that romantic stories can deliver.  My newest happy hour (hours) is watching (and re-watching) all 49 episodes of the newly released Chinese Netflex series called, “Meteor Garden”.  It’s the romantic tale of a strong, highly principled, plain looking, female university freshmen from a middle class upbringing accidentally clashing with a highly popular, wealthy, smart, but ill-mannered male university senior.  I’m surprised that I wasn’t completely put off by the sub-titles nor by the physical violence that would have gotten the young man expelled from an American university.  But the show follows a romantic formula that my addict brain craves.   Continue reading “Guilty Pleasure: Binge Watching Romance”

My new reality is coming home from work completely exhausted every day.  Fridays bring much needed relief.  It’s hard to believe that there was a time when I could easily live two lives in one day.  I used to think of it as a simple reset.   I’d work all day and then come home, change clothes, and live the life of a wife, mother, and fun-loving human being.  It was relatively easy for me to work all day at my job, then come home and cook, clean, help with homework, run off to an evening event, and even travel several times a year.  According to my closest friends, I had super-human energy.  But that was my normal.   My husband used to say, “I get tired just watching you.”  Those days are over.  Now I’m learning the skill of relaxing and retreating in order to re-charge for the next day. Continue reading “Relax, Retreat and Re-charge”

It will surely happen to each of us.  One day we will leave the land of the living.  Unlike Robin Williams, most of us will not choose the exact time and place. But some of us will see our departure coming like Senator John McCain and Aretha Franklin.  Others, like Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston, or Prince will leave suddenly and by surprise as a result of human frailty, poor choices and an inadequate support system.  And some, like John Lennon, Princess Diana, and Martin Luther King, Jr. will be stolen from us by depraved human beings.  Many, like Ricky Valle and Luther Vandross will be taken suddenly by dangers we haven’t yet been able to prevent.  I’ve noticed that the depth and breath of my own mourning of public figures is influenced by the time and manner in which each has passed.  And it is surprising to me which ones are the hardest. Continue reading “When Icons Die”

In my consumption of books, movies, and television, I like strong characters who remind me that human beings are complicated.  They are neither all good nor all bad, having strengths as well as weaknesses.  Until 1997, I had  largely focused on peoples’ good traits and strengths and I viewed their misdeeds as character flaws and weaknesses, often overlooking misdeeds even when I was hurt by them.  In fact, it was in 1997 that a therapist explained to me that I was too accepting of peoples’ bad behavior.  That’s when I began to refine my internal sense of the justice scales.  I realized that a person’s character could lean moral or immoral.  With the passing of Senator John McCain last night, I want to say, “Rest in peace, Senator.  Despite our political differences, it is evident that you lived a life of good moral character and will be remembered and highly esteemed for it.”
Continue reading “Complicated Characters”

I’ve had enough of the rising incivility in this country.  I’m also fed up with blatant lies, gross exaggerations, speculation, and conspiracy theories being given an equal footing with actual scientific evidence, logic, and historical facts.  After watching an interview with Jack Dorsey, the CEO of Twitter defend his refusal to ban Alex Jones and his decision to hold leaders like Trump to a lesser civility standard than general users, I picked up my phone and deleted the Twitter app. Continue reading “Twitter Deleted”