Last November my two brothers and I celebrated the fact that we had officially outlived our parents. Then one of my brothers had a massive cerebral hemorrhage Sunday, February 19 and died on Tuesday, February 21. He had been proclaimed brain dead that Sunday and was placed on life support to give his children the opportunity to say their “goodbyes”. Once my nephew arrived Monday night from D.C., he passed on his own. Continue reading “Dealing with Death”
To Tell the Truth
Most people have lied at least once in their lives. I know I’ve lied to avoid hurting someone’s feelings: “Yes, I like your new haircut.” I’ve lied to avoid embarrassment: “I wonder where that awful smell is coming from?” I’ve lied to avoid getting into trouble: “I don’t know who broke the vase.” I’ve even lied to prove a point: “I got that fact from the encyclopedia.” But like most of you, I’ve put away the childish act of lying and found ways to effectively to avoid telling uncomfortable truths. These days, any misrepresentations of the truth are actually honest lapses in my memory. I’d like to think that if I were to tell a lie today, it would be to protect someone’s life, like the courageous Corrie Ten Boom who hid Jews from the Nazis as depicted in the movie, “The Hiding Place”. But these days, adults who should be role models are lying like crazy and without consequence. These folks are using made up terms for their lying like “alternative facts” or “misspoken words” or “my opinion”. When did espousing false facts or lying become acceptable? In the country I hope to leave to the next generation, it is not acceptable! Continue reading “To Tell the Truth”
The Ugliness inside: Ethnocentrism and Racism
People around me know that I was never confident that Hillary Clinton was going to win against Donald Trump. In the days leading up to the 2016 election, I took comfort in all the polls that said he wasn’t going to win. In retrospect, I’m grateful for those polls because they helped me sleep more peacefully for a few weeks. I would use those polls to reassure myself that I was wrong in my conviction that the ugliness of ethnocentrism and racism that hide deep inside every human, was going to erupt within enough individuals at the last moment in the privacy of a voting booth. And I believe it did. Continue reading “The Ugliness inside: Ethnocentrism and Racism”
Anger Management
Yesterday, I woke up to a very angry husband professing how he wasn’t a violent man, but how he wanted to punch Donald Trump in the mouth. He was so angry–angrier than I have ever seen him. Until now my husband had been calm in comparison to my daily outrage over each new executive order and stupid tweet. My otherwise gentle husband confessed that his avoidance of the news had staved off his outrage until yesterday morning. I don’t know what possessed him to finally watch the news, but he did and there it was: angry energy demanding release. Anger is an explosive force. Unless you’re one of those people who has learned to manage anger without destroying people, then it is best to avoid it. But if you’ve learned how to channel anger, then anger serves its true purpose as a powerful motivator and great fuel for positive action. Continue reading “Anger Management”
Showing Up
Times have changed. Our young adults may not show up when we need them most. And that scares the hell out of me! There was a time in my life when I showed up for pretty much anything and everything. I had youthful energy and enthusiasm to drive me. In those days, I never stopped to ask myself if I should or shouldn’t show up. It hadn’t occurred to me that I wouldn’t show up to a workshop, a party, a class, church, or an event. I always showed up. And if I signed up to be there, I was there. I was there whenever and wherever I was expected. I never stopped to ask myself if I wanted to be here or there. I just showed up as if I had no choice in the matter. In my late 30s that changed. I got into the habit of questioning whether or not I would show up. How and why did that happen? And has this questioning been a good thing or a bad thing? Continue reading “Showing Up”
I’ve Just Begun to Resist
I couldn’t bring myself to watch the inauguration on Friday. I boycotted it in solidarity with Congressman John Lewis. It wasn’t about being a sore loser as some Trump supporters like to suggest. It wasn’t about shirking my patriotic duty to watch the peaceful transition of power as others seem to believe. It was the beginning of my resistance against this president and what he stands for. If his next moves are like his first moves, then I will resist him with all my might. Continue reading “I’ve Just Begun to Resist”
Those Mid-life Body Changes
Like countless women, about the time I turned 43, perimenopause hit and it hit hard. Thankfully, I have a great doctor. She’s also a UCLA alum and she loves all my handbags, but what really makes her great is that she allows me to ask questions, like, “Why is this happening?”. My doctor likes to say that multiple switches are built into my DNA and at a pre-determined moment, certain ones just turn on. In other words, if I wasn’t hit by a bus before today, all these changes were predestined to occur according to some hidden internal clock. Wow! And the switches just keep turning on, each one bringing its own surprise and challenge. This post is about my ongoing journey through the aging process and my 2017 response to the newest changes. Women of a certain age may relate to the challenges presented in this post while others can gain new insights into the plight of their menopausal wife, mother, or friend. Younger women can get a preview of the days ahead and prepare for them. Continue reading “Those Mid-life Body Changes”
New Year’s Financial Resolution
I view the entire week between Christmas and January 1st as a time for personal reflection and evaluation of the present year. And then I slowly set goals that I know are attainable and that easily fit into the new routines that I will set for the new year to accommodate them. Every aspect of my life is on the table and subject to close examination and possible revision. In this post, I’m focusing on my finances. Continue reading “New Year’s Financial Resolution”
Why Kwanzaa is important to me.
Happy New Year and Happy Kwanzaa!
Today is the last day of the seven-day Kwanzaa Celebration. I love this non-religious holiday and I believe it has the power to transform African American families and communities across the nation, making us stronger, smarter, and more supportive of each other. Continue reading “Why Kwanzaa is important to me.”
Welcome to my new blog!
There is so much going on in the world that I care about, have an opinion about, and want to influence. My voice is my power and I’ve decided to use it in this new and hopefully positive way. In my first ever post, I should introduce myself before talking about the results of this 2016 presidential election. Continue reading “Welcome to my new blog!”