Fully Present Post 50

In the final hours before his release from the hospital, the doctor of my best friend’s husband convinced Medicare that her husband needed continued professional care at a rehabilitation facility and should not be sent home again. Weeks before, they sent him home without professional homecare, only for him to deteriorate into an excruciating rebound of his infection. My friend is a nurturing person, but she not a nurse. She is a petite 80-year-old who has serious medical issues of her own. Despite this, she was willing to again try to care for her husband who has chronic pain, no longer walks, requires diaper changes, and has signs of dementia because there was no alternative. Insurance was refusing to pay for his continued hospitalization and a home nurse was going to cost about $200 per day. She was stuck and beside herself with anxiety. I was helping as much as her pride would allow. Her sons preferred not to be bothered as they wanted to continue their lives burden-free. Thankfully, the doctor was more convincing this time and her husband was not coming home yet. My point is that accessing insurance has become a nightmare. It is no longer the safety net that we have relied on for so long. While not condoning the brutal murder of the United Health Care CEO, I understand the growing frustration towards ruthless profiteers like him who deny legitimate medical claims. And yes, my friend has her Medicare Advantage policy through United Health Care. Personally, we opted for Medi-gap coverage because there are fewer denials and fewer restrictions. It does cost more, but we receive premium reimbursement through my husband’s retirement benefits.

These days, it’s not just medical insurers that are making access difficult. At the beginning of the year, I switched my personal dental insurance policy to one sponsored by my husband’s retirement benefit. It provides higher coverage than my previous dental insurance and the premiums are reimbursed as part of his retirement benefit. However, I soon discovered that accessing the additional benefits was going to take hours on the phone. Last week, I went to my scheduled cleaning and x-ray appointment. The dentist recommended replacing an old silver filling and filling a small cavity. At the front desk, the insurance guru informed me that my new insurance policy only covered two cleanings and x-rays. She printed out the list of benefits that clearly showed that their practice was “in network” but that no dental work beyond cleanings and x-rays was covered. I knew this didn’t make any sense since the premiums alone cost more than teeth cleanings and x-rays. It took three days searching the website personal portal, two phone calls cleverly navigating AI to reach a human, and finally the completion of a “Waiting Period Waiver Form” that no one previously mentioned, to access the $2000 in dental benefits. I was nearly persuaded to forego the insurance benefit and just pay for the work out of pocket. But my need to fix that which is obviously wrong, stopped me.

Apparently, the insurance company automatically places a waiting period on new policy holders until the customer shows evidence of prior dental coverage for the previous 12 months to obtain a waiver. The problem is that they neglect to inform new policy holders, like me, of this process. I only learned of it by calling them directly after being denied coverage. Even the dental office insurance guru was unaware of a possible hold on my insurance coverage. Perhaps more disappointing is the fact that I had to call a second day because the first representative who told me about the waiver form then failed to email it to me as promised. I spent an entire day waiting for it to arrive in my inbox. I even checked my spam folder. No waiver form!

The problem with insurance these days extends well beyond medical and dental insurance. I live in California where we have wildfires and earthquakes. I know of a few friends who have been kicked off of their homeowner’s insurance because of the fire danger. Few companies will cover homes at wildfire risk for a reasonable premium, if at all. In some cases, the insurance is higher than the mortgage payment. When we were looking for houses, I purposefully steered clear of hillsides and open fields, recalling the traumatic experience of a wildfire evacuation situation in my early teens when our family home was in danger.

I’ve also experienced earthquakes, both big and small. However, earthquake insurance is not only unaffordable, but it isn’t even practical. Prior to the big 1994 earthquake, homeowner’s insurance covered earthquake damage. But after the huge damage claims insurance companies paid in 1994, earthquake insurance became a separate policy. We recently researched earthquake insurance only to learn that it would cost an additional $9000 to 12,000 per year and that the deductible is at least 15% of the replacement value of the home. That would come to anywhere from $100,000 to $150,000 before insurance ever kicked in. Most homes will not be a total loss in the event of an earthquake, so it makes little sense to purchase that costly insurance. Although terrifying, most of the damage caused by earthquakes (even in 1994) isn’t catastrophic because of strong building codes. One of my friends mentioned that she was planning to rely on FEMA if disaster struck. I had to inform her that President Trump is trying to get rid of FEMA and that the big, beautiful budget bill eliminates FEMA funding. There are several states who have already been denied federal disaster relief and others still waiting for an answer. We may already be on our own if and when a natural disaster destroys our homes.

Although a real pain, I’m still a believer in having insurance because unforeseen circumstances can ruin family finances. Unless young families are independently wealthy, they should definitely have life insurance to protect the ongoing livelihood of surviving family members. Both parents should be covered, even homemakers, because the out-of-pocket cost of childcare, cooking, and housekeeping are enormous. Even for the ten years I was a stay-at-home mom, I had a life insurance policy. As an elderly person, with independent adult children, I don’t have nearly as much life insurance as I once did. But I have enough to take care of my remains and any remaining obligations.

Of course, auto insurance for drivers is a must. We recently learned that auto insurance rates for the elderly are just as high as for new drivers. Despite not having any accidents nor traffic tickets, our premiums jumped way up when my husband turned 70 several years ago. And they just keep rising. We have two cars and neither of us drives much in our retirement and so I often question the necessity of two vehicles. But my husband prefers that we maintain our independence, so we keep paying to maintain two vehicles in addition to paying the rising premiums. My husband took a senior driving course to lower our premium and I sign a low mileage waiver every year, but our premiums remain as high as for young drivers. This wasn’t something we anticipated, but it is something we bear so we can come and go as we please. My best friend with the hospitalized husband finally realized a few days ago that her husband has been unable to drive for the past six months and she finally took him off the insurance, receiving a $500 refund in the process. I realized when helping my elderly next-door neighbors two nights ago that they no longer drive either. They are both using walkers and pay for a home care worker to assist them. I thought about the two unused cars in their garage and wondered whether they are still paying for auto insurance on them.

The point is that insurance has an important role to play in our lives. Having emergency savings set aside is just as important. So, when it comes to insurance, we need to make sure we have the appropriate amount when possible and realize that we might need both energy, patience, and a bit of persistent determination to insist on the benefits we are paying for.

I’ve long believed that most people act in their own best interest. Even altruistic actions ultimately serve to make us feel better about ourselves. I’m a highly empathetic person and I have deep compassion for the challenges people face. I hate injustice and actively pursue resolution. I am driven to help others, but I acknowledge that I derive great personal satisfaction and even pleasure from alleviating someone else’s pain, bringing justice or joy, or solving a problem. People are helped and I feel fulfilled by being able to help. Thankfully, these pursuits are win-win situations. However, I recognize that not everyone is like me. Some people are only fulfilled by win-lose situations.

For many years, I projected my motivations onto others. As a result, I often excused people who hurt others because I believed the hurt wasn’t intentional. I chose to believe that the perpetrator was trying to fulfil a personal need and the harm to others was collateral damage. Because of this flawed mindset, a therapist once told me that I was far too forgiving. She told me that an adult considers the effect their actions will have on others before acting. She suggested that I needed to do more to hold people accountable for their harmful actions even if I thought that they were not intentionally trying to hurt me or others.

Recently, it was inconceivable to me that the American people would knowingly elevate a person to the office of president who lacked basic empathy and was blatantly cruel to others. I thought we would never elect a person who needed to win and cause others to lose. But they did. It hurts my soul to watch “winners” laugh and applaud at the destruction of people’s lives based on false accusations, bigotry, revenge, or carelessness. I truly believe that such people need psychiatric help if they derive pleasure from sending migrants to a foreign prison based on unproven accusations or applaud the firing of government workers on a whim or accept the separation of children from their undocumented parents or admire the bullying of lawmakers, judges, law firms, universities, journalists and companies into quiet submission. This is not healthy behavior; it is sadistic.

Many say that Trump behaves like a toddler: illogical, prone to tantrums, a short attention span, unpredictable, and seeking his own gratification without regard for others. While that is undeniably accurate, I’ve come to the conclusion that Trump is a sadist. He genuinely takes pleasure in the forced submission and cruelty he inflicts on others. I’ve observed that he tries to mask his pathology through fake charms and storytelling, conning people to believe his cruelty is justified. It’s obvious to reasonable adults that he latches onto and promotes conspiracies and false accusations while claiming to protect Americans from fictional threats. One example is his preposterous accusation that governments emptied their prisons and insane asylums and sent those folks to our country to murder us. Or how about the Haitians who are eating the cats and dogs? Or schools who are performing transgender operations without parental permission? Or the “epidemic” of transgender men in women’s sports? And then there are the journalists who report fake news, liberal judges who are corrupt, and universities who are racists and antisemitic. Without evidence, he claims there is rampant waste, fraud and abuse in government. Traitorous generals who should be hanged. The Biden crime family. And how about the countries around the world who are taking advantage of us?

The list of false accusations and manufactured threats to justify his cruelty grows every day. And some people willingly ignore or approve of his actions until his actions negatively affect them. And they inevitably will because it is his nature to be cruel. However, I think that after meeting Putin and especially Kim Jong Un, Trump has discovered that he can use his cruelty to achieve a seductive end goal: greater personal power and unlimited riches.

I’m beginning to believe that Trump ultimately wants to be like Kim Jong Un, a rich ruler within an isolated country. He wants to revel in the outward accolades and loyalty of the people, especially if it is compulsory because he feeds on the pain of others. Like Kim and Putin, those who object or do not comply to his satisfaction face prison or even death. Trump’s need for inflicting pain is reckless and without any tangible goal in mind beyond feeding his ego and his bank account. He needs the military parade. He needs gold toilets. He needs to see world leaders grovel at his feet. He needs his name and picture plastered everywhere. He needs adoration. He is a sick person. But those who surround him are also sick. Their proximity to power makes them disregard their morals. However, unlike Trump, they have a vision for the country beyond feeding their own egos and bank accounts. And that makes them even more dangerous.

JD Vance, Mike Johnson, Elon Musk, and Marco Rubio may not be sadistic egomaniacs with insatiable greed like Trump, but they have a vision for America that imperials the lives of women and minorities. Trump wants us to be like North Korea while they want us to be more like Afghanistan under the Taliban. They are seeking to create a country where white heterosexual men are in total control and the rest of us fall in line with their viewpoint. In the country they re-create, they control art, education, and science. White men are in charge, men of color are the labor, women are relegated to the home and baby-making, gays are back in the closet, and corporations are subject to government rule. Personal freedoms will be tossed out along with the Constitution. The Congress and the Courts will no longer be co-equal branches of government, but subject to the whims of the executive branch. This will be a police state. These American Taliban are using Trump’s recking ball actions to clear the path for them to take over.

But we can stop them. We have a short window of time to reject both the cruelty and the plan. So far, the Courts are holding up, but judges are under attack. The Republican led Congress has already sworn fealty to Trump because they are either complicit or afraid of him. Using our voices, we must embolden those who are afraid by making them more afraid of us than of Trump. We must never agree in advance to the rollback of our freedoms. The attacks on due process, free speech, and basic rights must be met with resistance. I understand that June 14th, Trump’s birthday and the date of his military parade is also the “No King’s Protest” day. We must participate.

If we do nothing, we will certainly see a very different country moving forward and this will no longer be the land of the free nor the home of the brave. It will be more like North Korea in its isolation from the world and like Afghanistan under Taliban rule.

My mother’s birthday and Mother’s Day sometimes fell on the same day. So, Mother’s Day was always a big celebration of her. And in my opinion, she deserved all the love and accolades and gifts we showered upon her each Mother’s Day. She was a loving, attentive, hardworking and supportive mother who was far better as a single parent than as the wife of my violent, unpredictable alcoholic father. In truth, I loved them both, but I only trusted her.

My mother was born on May 13, 1936. She passed away on an exceptionally beautiful spring day, April 11, 1994, just one month before her 58th birthday. I was providing hospice care at my home, and it was difficult watching her lose her appetite, her strength, her smile, and eventually her battle with breast cancer. She was not ready or willing to die, which was evident in her desire to keep living. In fact, the day she passed, she asked me to take her to Pier One Imports. However, she clearly lacked the strength for a shopping trip, so instead she settled for a wheelchair ride through the neighborhood to enjoy the many beautiful flowers in bloom. We share a love for plants and a green thumb. Soon after the walk, and as predicted at her final doctor’s visit, the cancer reached her heart. The cause of death listed on her death certificate is cardiopulmonary arrest due to metastatic breast cancer. She had been in so much pain that I was hesitant to call the ambulance when she stopped breathing, but I knew she wanted to continue to fight despite the pain. So, I called 911. When they arrived and began working on her, I wondered if she would be angry with me for denying her the relief she was finally given. They revived her and her carried her away in the ambulance. She passed away in route to the hospital. I know this because the ambulance attendee felt compelled to call me that evening to recount how he watched her “decide” to go.

In death as in life, I have enjoyed an exceptional and very close relationship with my mother. Days after she passed, she literally guided me to the unusual hiding place of her Last Will and Testament after I spent hours searching my files for it. In a brief moment of rest, I clearly heard her voice say to me that her Will was upstairs in my master bathroom in the second drawer of my vanity. That seemed both impossible and ridiculous, but her voice was too clear to ignore. So, I trudged up the stairs, went into my bathroom and decided to be methodical and start with the top drawer and work my way down. As soon as my hand touched the top drawer, her voice said to me in her familiar reprimanding tone, “I didn’t say that drawer.” I stopped immediately and obeyed. I opened the second drawer, and stuck to the side of the drawer was her Will.

For several years following her death, I frequently met my mother in dreams so vivid that I became somewhat confused as to whether she was really dead. I felt as though I was living in two alternate universes. The nightly dreams were beginning to mess with my daytime thought processes, and then they suddenly ceased. Now, I am able to welcome the occasional meeting with my mother in my dreams. I miss her physical presence, but I believe her spirit is alive and well and that she is a part of that cloud of witnesses. I talk to her about the important things. I point out the wonderful things. I mention some of my concerns. I don’t know whether or not she can hear me, but I choose to believe she can. I find comfort in that.

In many ways, I carry on my mother’s legacy of nurturing others. We are both highly empathic with generous spirits and so people tend to gravitate to our warm energy. My mother was an extrovert, but I am an introvert, so our expression of care is different. My mother approaches people, but people tend to approach me. Just yesterday, a lady leaving the grocery store stopped and commented to me that my smile brightened up her day. I wasn’t even aware that I was smiling. When I look in the mirror, I often see my mother’s warm smile starring back at me. She named me after herself, so each time someone calls my name, I am reminded of her, and I like it.

So, this past Mother’s Day, like every Mother’s Day since her passing, I spent a good portion of the day remembering her. I recall her humanity, her many accomplishments, wisdom, love, and encouragement as well as her flaws, fears and missteps. She was my biggest cheerleader, and I feel that she continues to be. Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. You are loved and your physical presence is missed, but your spirit is always welcome to be with me.

The last hundred years has provided unequivocal evidence to everyone in the world that heterosexual white males are not the superior beings many once thought. When given the opportunity, people of color, women, and LGBTQ people have demonstrated the reality that talent, intelligence, ingenuity, strength, courage, and moral decency are not bestowed in greater abundance upon any particular race or sex among people. Biology confirms that beneath the color of our skin, we are in fact one species, making race a purely social construct. And to top it off, biology and neuroscience have shattered the mythical binary of male and female, revealing a sex and gender spectrum that can be seen both in the genetic code, the obstetrician’s observation, and in brain activity. However, these revelations present an existential threat to sub-par heterosexual white males and the weak women who covet their protection.

Many of these people view Donald Trump and his policies as a way to turn back the clock to a time when male whiteness was superior and deserving of the opportunities and privileges afforded only to them. They justified their genocide of native Americans to steal their lands and their enslavement of blacks to steal their freedom, labor, and dignity by believing, despite all evidence, that others were inherently inferior to themselves and therefore slightly less human. The reality is that they had more lethal weapons at their disposal and a propensity to use them.

But over time, through undeniable accomplishments, protests, perseverance, courage, heartache and even bloodshed, the myth of white male superiority crumbled. Everyone could clearly see that capability, creativity and courage are traits spread across humanity irrespective of race, gender, or sexual orientation. For a season, particularly within the U.S., progress toward a more equitable and inclusive country was being made. Our diversity was finally being appreciated for the strength it actually is. Although we were not yet a perfect Union, discrimination laws were overturned, the doors to opportunities were opening, and historic impediments to success were being remedied. For the first time, the historically oppressed with the talent, intelligence, creativity, energy, and ambition could finally climb the ladder of success. And many of them did to the silent chagrin of some less talented, less creative, and less ambitious white folks. For the first time, white male heterosexuals were required to compete for societal positions they once assumed belonged only to them. Envy and insecurity along with the pushback against this progress was inevitable.

I think the tipping point for many white people was not only the accension, but the intelligence, grace, and success of Barack Obama and his family when they occupied the highest seat of power on the planet, the White House. Their core belief in the supremacy of whiteness was not only challenged but threatened. The candidacy of Hillary Clinton after Obama further challenged and threatened the supremacy of their maleness. It shocked the system’s progress when Donald Trump, a clearly inferior candidate in intelligence, creativity, and basic decency was elected. He was a terrible president, but he along with the racist and misogynist in the country refused to give up their dream of reclaiming their domination. It came as no surprise to me that it took another white male in 2020 to defeat Trump. And perhaps 2024 was too soon to expect a white change of heart.

Despite the objective reality that Kamala Harris was smarter, wiser, more experienced, and clearly a better human being, Donald Trump defeated her in 2024. Although there is speculation that he won through voter suppression, lies, and perhaps other election rigging tactics, he is once again the president. It’s regrettable that more eligible voters declined to vote than voted for either candidate. And those who voted for Trump cited the desire for lower prices as a shield from admitting that they couldn’t bring themselves to vote for a woman of color. The depth of the racism and misogyny at work has become evident in the days following the election. Not among the masses, but among the MAGA loyalists who embody about 30% of the American population.

The cruelty and chaos we are experiencing today is their last-ditch effort to turn back the progress we have made toward a more equitable society. They want the good ole days back when white men held all the reins of power and had first dibs on the best opportunities. They covet the jobs that don’t require an education but pay them enough to live. The men want women to return to being subservient to them and for people of color to fear them. They want LGBTQ folks back in the closet. Trump wants to dominate and so do they.

What we are witnessing is what some are calling, “extinction burst”. It’s a temper tantrum that happens when a child realizes he will not get his way. It’s like the child who viciously breaks everything in sight until he wears himself out. Trump and MAGA are those children. We see it in their constant rage against women, against immigrants of color, and against transgender folks. It’s amplified in the ridiculous unconstitutional executive orders and the discriminatory policies being thrust upon us. It’s the bullying, the firings, the book banning, and even the tariffs. It’s their last-ditch effort to force acceptance of their mythical white male supremacy. But we stand tall and simply refuse.

They can burn every history book and confiscate every video and close every museum door, but the truth is here to stay because it lives in the heart of decent people throughout the entire world who aren’t going to bend the knee. We are using our rational adult voices for progress and in defense of our constitutional rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We are protesting in the streets, taking them to court, and showing up at their town halls. Some are putting their bodies between ICE agents and their would-be victims.

Rational Americans aren’t going to allow these petulant children to remove our due process, our freedom to speak, nor our freedom to assemble. Their temper tantrum is being met by the adults in the room who refuse to relent. And in the end, they will relent.

So, I’m hopeful because I’m convinced that rational citizens, together with the courts and world leaders, will make sure that Trump and his MAGA followers will be denied the white male dominion they seek. I’m just hoping the “extinction burst” ends sooner rather than later because they are breaking a whole lot of stuff and the clean-up isn’t going to be easy.

This past week, the Republican majorities in the House and Senate codified the Trump tariffs, essentially relinquishing their Constitutional duty over trade tariffs to a president who clearly either doesn’t understand tariffs or wants to use tariffs for a nefarious purpose even if they tank our own economy. In fact, on threat of tariffs, the economy shrank by 0.3% for the first time since the pandemic era as companies stockpiled imported goods. The stock market is down, and prices are as high as ever. This isn’t Biden’s economy as Trump gaslights; it’s all him!

Economists, business executives, and political analysists can’t figure out his actual motives for starting this trade war against the world. They repeatedly warn that no one wins a trade war and that farmers, businesses, investors, and consumers all suffer under the weight of tariffs. They also agree that Trump’s disturbing rollout revealed deeply flawed tariff calculations, a lack of understanding about trade deficits, and an ill-conceived presentation that included a country with only penguins as residents.

Trump began his tariff debacle claiming that tariffs were necessary to stop the flow of fentanyl into the country from Mexico and Canada. The truth is American demand for the drug drives “Americans” to traffic the drugs across borders and very little of it is coming from Canada. Then he moved on to his desire to rectify our trade imbalance with other countries because they were “taking advantage of us”. This makes no sense either because less populace and poorer countries will never be able to establish a trade balance with the U.S. because they lack both the demand and the funds to purchase enough goods to create a balance. In fact, we may not even have goods to trade that they need or desire. And now he claims that he wants to bring manufacturing jobs back. The fact is that businesses have come to rely on the less expensive labor found in other countries and they source many of their manufacturing materials from around the globe. An iPhone made in the U.S. would cost about $4,000. Besides that, it would take years and huge capital investments to build manufacturing plants for everything Americans consume if businesses had the faith to even begin such a process. Under scrutiny, none of his stated reasons make much sense.

With this understanding most thinking adults are left scratching their heads. However, it seems to me that ego is at the root of these tariffs. Trump seems to have a deep-seated need to publicly dominate everyone, especially other world leaders, requiring them to “kiss his ass”. Many have noticed that Russia and North Korea were left off his list. Perhaps he kisses Putin’s ass and so admires Kim that he wouldn’t dare tariff either of them? According to Administration reports, many countries are humbly seeking exemptions or manageable concessions to avoid financial disaster. Even U.S. farmers, small businesses, and whole industries are begging for exemptions to avoid going out of business.

But some countries are turning away from the U.S. altogether and establishing alternative trade partnerships. And most notably, China isn’t playing his game. To punish China’s obstinance, Trump raised tariffs on Chinese imports to 145%. China went as far as reciprocating with 125%, saying that rate will end imports into China, so they had no need to go any higher. And in a bold move, China has halted shipments to the U.S. and have called upon other countries to stop trading with the U.S. altogether because we are unreliable. Those buying goods directly from China are being slapped with huge tariffs bills from UPS and Fed Ex. Not surprisingly, our ports are reporting a dramatic slowdown of imported goods from China and people are being laid off. The trucking business is also taking a hit, and farmers are in panic mode as trade deals with China for corn and soybeans have been destroyed. I think panic among U.S. consumers will soon follow.

Most of the goods on store shelves come from China. Retailers estimate that shelves will begin to show signs of scarcity in about two weeks. Ahead of tariffs, many retailers, both big and small, stocked up, but the supply on hand will soon be diminished. Some retailers believe they will soon go out of business altogether. Scarcity means higher prices and lost jobs. It’s simple supply and demand. Remember how difficult it was to get toilet paper during the pandemic and how many people were out of work? Do you remember the long food lines?

This past week, Trump advised the American people to understand that they will need to cut back and endure some pain for a while. He told parents that they should only buy two dolls this Christmas instead of the usual thirty and expect to pay more for them. This from the same billionaire class Administration that told us that only fraudulent social security recipients would complain if their monthly check didn’t show up.

So, what do we do? First, we make sure our Republican representatives are more afraid of us than they are of Trump. We protest in the streets, we flood their offices with emails and phone calls, we show up at their offices, and we vote them out of office in 2026. Second, we financially support the many organizations that are bringing lawsuits against this Administration for their tariffs and their lawlessness. Third, we enthusiastically support businesses that openly defy Trump policies and boycott those businesses that cower under threat or openly support the Administration and its policies. And finally, we stock up sooner rather than later on the most necessary goods for the next year.

In previous posts, I shared how we expanded our vegetable garden, did any renovations, secured new cell phones, stocked our pantry and stored basic household necessities ahead of Trump taking office. Well, yesterday, I purchased Christmas toys for my grandsons in anticipation of the shortages. Everything was slightly more expensive, and each toy was made in China except for the Hot Wheels (which were from Canada).

My guess is that the true motive behind these tariffs is to help establish a Trumpian white male dominance across the entire world. It is pure arrogance driven ego. That is the common denominator among Trump, Musk, Vance, Mike Johnson and the Cabinet members (arrogance and big egos). However, at their core they are broken, insecure, empathy-lacking, sociopaths. They are real life evil villains hellbent on shaping and ruling the world.

But perhaps we should all breathe a sigh of relief that the rest of the world sees Trump and his Administration for the corrupt, incompetent, and sloppy group of egomaniacs that they are. Many aren’t buying what they are selling. In fact, the Trumpian candidates in both Canada and Australia lost their elections this week as backlash against Trump. And Americans are slowly waking up to the reality of who this man is. One hundred days in, he is now underwater in every poll on every issue. So, I’m keeping the faith that this kind of evil will once again be defeated by our united resistance. So, resist in every way you can.

In physics class one learns that for every action, there is a reaction. The action of 36% of eligible voters neglecting to cast a ballot resulted in the election of Donald Trump to a second term. That is if he didn’t get help “rigging” the election as he claims (yes, he actually admitted that and it’s on video tape in the oval office). But absent rigging, it’s likely that a slight majority of voters who were either unaware, racist or misogynist, or concerned over the price of eggs ushered in the cruelty, chaos and corruption we are experiencing on a daily basis. However, reactions to Trump’s tyrannical actions have been swift.

In a few short months, Trump has nearly crashed the world economy with ill-conceived tariffs, dismantled government agencies and fired government workers, revoked student visas without legal cause, intimidated media outlets, ended corporate DEI efforts, extorted law firms and Universities, and threaten the sovereignty of Canada, Greenland, and Panama. He has kidnapped immigrant Venezuelan men off the streets, ignoring court orders and sending them to a prison (concentration camp) in El Salvador without any due process and then refused to bring them back. Immigrant children are literally being arrested at school and forced to represent themselves in deportation court hearings because this Administration is denying them representation. This week, his FBI agents arrested a judge, accusing her of attempting to thwart ICE’s arrest of an illegal immigrant in her courtroom. It’s true that sometimes morality (doing the right thing) has a cost attached to it.

This is where we are. We are saddled with an Administration that we know is sloppy, vengeful, corrupt, lawless, cruel, and incompetent. But they are also short-sighted. Turning this judge into a martyr will only embolden and encourage others to take the moral high ground. And I pray that many of us do. Saving our freedoms, preserving the environment, and defending others from ruin is worth getting into “good trouble”. But we also see their short-sightedness through their constant mistakes and backtracking. Notice how they fired some folks only to realize their mistake and then scrambled to rehire them. The tariff announcement crashed the market, imperiled businesses, and emboldened China to retaliate in ways that will harm farmers and empty our shelves in a matter of weeks. And with all the pain caused by DOSE, they haven’t uncovered the waste, fraud and abuse that was supposedly so rampant. In fact, thus far they have spent more money than they have saved. We see the real waste and abuse in the amount we are spending on golf trips, UFC fights, and an upcoming military parade.

The reality is that Trump cannot see past his ego and greed. His emotional insecurity demands that he be worshipped and obeyed no matter how ridiculous his commands. Musk can’t see past his insecurities and need to dominate. JD Vance can’t see past his ambition. And Speaker Mike Johnson can’t see past his desire for Taliban-like rulership. Not one of them can see past their racism and misogyny.

It may be our saving grace that Trump has filled his Administration with drug or alcohol-addicted nut cases who not only have weird ideas based on disproven conspiracy theories, but who are also incompetent. His second-class lawyers look to skirt the law or hide from it, showing up to court lacking information or legitimate arguments only to find themselves on the verge of disbarment and criminal contempt charges. Trump appointed ruthless loyalists to head law enforcement agencies because cruelty without due process can only be accomplished by people without a conscience. It is clear that the DOJ under Pam Bondi and the FBI under Kash Patel are not interested in justice but in shielding the Administration’s lawless behavior from prosecution while investigating Trump’s enemies for revenge.

In service to this tyrannical ego-driven agenda, this Administration has expelled the actual experts on constitutional law and government ethics along with the experts in science, economics, public health, climate, military strategy, and environmental protections. Not surprisingly, they have replaced actual experts with Trump loyalist who lack basic subject knowledge. Without thoughtful consideration they simply roll back regulations and fire public servants at agencies designed to protect our health, national security, and the environment. It’s as though they don’t believe we need clean air and water to survive or that climate driven natural disasters are real. Just last week, the Administration refused Arkansas FEMA funding for a devasting tornado, and they removed fishing restrictions designed to preserve fish species for future generations. Our national security has become a joke under Pete Hegseth, and our reputation around the world is ruined. And on top of all that, the Administration acts as though education is not important but is an impediment to their power. It is.

The short-sighted decisions to sideline experts, defund Universities, and revoke thousands of international student visas will lead to a brain drain. The most brilliant international minds will soon leave, and new international students and scholars will no longer come to the United States to study, teach, and conduct research. U.S. professors and researchers will find opportunities to continue their important and innovative research in other countries. Offers are already coming in. The most academically talented American students will follow the best professors outside the country to pursue their education. The United States will soon become known for its xenophobia and grossly inferior educational system. We are already becoming broadly viewed as those backward thinking, crude and dumb Americans. Without the most talented human minds to teach and mentor the next generation of teachers, scholars, doctors, scientists, and researchers, it will not be long before our children grow up sickly and illiterate.

Thankfully, the reaction to the attacks on education and student visa cancellations was swift. Campus protests and numerous lawsuits over cancelled student visas forced the Administration to reverse course on the matter. They restored the student visas a few days ago. But I contend that it is too late. The damage to the U.S. reputation as a preferred destination for international students has been done. Our government is seen as hostile to higher education, teachers, and to science. This has opened the door for China, Europe, Canada, and Australia to become the beneficiaries of the world’s most intellectually talented. This is how we benefitted from the likes of Eistein and other scientists who fled Nazi Germany.

Despite all the negativity, I have great hope because the short-sighted actions of this ridiculous Administration are sparking fierce reactions everywhere. April 19th was another day of protest across the country and a weekend boycott of big business. The Target and Tesla boycotts are having a real effect on profits with Target meeting with Al Sharpton and Tesla profits down 71%. Additionally, the lawsuits are piling up and the Administration has lost about 95% of them so far. People are speaking up at Republican town halls to let Republicans (and Democrats) know what is expected of them. Republican offices are being bombarded by emails and letters and phone calls with complaints. Tourism to the United States is dramatically down as countries issue travel warnings and Canadians are pissed off. Even in my social media feed, I can see that China isn’t backing down in the trade war and is actively trolling the Administration and exposing luxury brand retailers who have their items mostly made in China.

Each of us has a part to play. I write, boycott, post on social media, and donate to civil rights organizations and candidates. For those willing to take to the streets, there are big protests scheduled for May 1st and another one that begins on May 1st in Washington DC at Freedom Plaza where people plan to set up camp to provide consistent and persistent protest until Trump is removed from office. It is called the Mayday Movement. My point is that every harmful action by this Administration must continue to be met by an equal or more forceful reaction. We can’t let up until our united actions lead to the outcome we really seek: an end to the Trump Administration and its lawlessness.

In desperate times like these, average citizens must take action. Anyone who cares must use their voice to oppose the fact that public safety net programs are being crippled, that people are being abducted and sent to foreign prisons without any due process of law, that women’s rights to reproductive healthcare and voting are threatened, that medical and environmental research are being defunded, that books and history are being banned, that government workers are being fired, that the department of education is being dismantled along with FEMA, that the rule of law and the Constitution are being ignored, that trans people are having their rights taken away, that ludicrous tariffs are causing prices to rise and tanking the economy, and that the nation is becoming a pariah in the world.

What is your chosen voice of opposition? Is it protesting in the streets? Is it boycotting? Is it in the arts? Is it showing up at the office of representatives or a Tesla dealership? Is it making social media posts? Is it donating to opposition organizations? Big numbers in peaceful opposition from every corner and in every way is required to meet this moment.

One of my ways to express my opposition is emailing or writing letters to political leaders (like the one I share here.) I also sent a letter yesterday to house minority leader Hakeen Jeffries, encouraging him to speak and act more boldly in opposition to the corrupt and evil Republican agenda that harms our democracy and ruins the lives of many people.

April 12, 2025

Dear Speaker Mike Johnson,

With each passing day, I have less confidence that you and the Republican lawmakers are motivated to help average Americans in their pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness.  I watch you condone the cruelty, lawlessness, corruption, and unconstitutional executive orders coming from Trump and I see you abdicate your congressional duty as a co-equal branch of government, elected by the American people to represent them and to uphold the Constitution.  Your refusal to hold Trump accountable and your endorsement of policies and actions that harm Americans and human beings who have migrated here for a better life is repulsive to me.  I want my tax dollars to provide a safety net for Americans, to protect the environment for future generations, and to build an infrastructure that enables Americans to work hard, innovate, and thrive.  

On another note, I deeply resent Trump’s plan to spend $100 million dollars on a military parade to celebrate his birthday.  It’s vulgar!  We do not have a king and the great majority of us do not want a king. And if we did, he would not be worthy of the position with his sloppiness, corruption, lack of empathy, and blatant incompetence.  He is a bully and a thug and sadly, you continue to empower him. Shame on you!

I once thought you had the welfare of the American people in mind, but no longer.  I see that you are about power, money, and installing a ruthless theocracy that is similar to the Taliban: oppressive, cruel, incompetent, devoid of empathy and incapable of harnessing the talents and gifts of its people.  Like Trump, you deal in oppression, discrimination, lies, and fearmongering to advance your evil agenda while lining the pockets of billionaires at the expense of the average Americans.  You want to erase history, multiculturalism, basic human rights, and to silence Americans who disagree with your unconstitutional vision for this country.    

But even more important, I’m deeply disappointed in your distortion of Christianity.  You give God and His Son a bad name with your cruel and ruthless legislative agenda.  Jesus told us that we will know a tree by the fruit that it bears.  Your agenda proves that you are one of those people Jesus spoke about in Matthew 7: 21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord’, shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven.  Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’  And then I will declare to them ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.’”

Then in Matthew 25:31-46, Jesus says: “When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the holy angels with Him, then He will sit on the throne of His glory.  All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them, one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats.  And He will set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left.  The King will say to those on His right, ‘Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.”  Jesus goes on to declare in verse 40, “And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of my brethren, you did it to Me.”  And then in verses 45-46 He describes the eternal punishment that awaits those who did not help those in need.  

Your legislative agenda will inflict harm upon the poor, upon women, and upon the immigrant.  It will disempower women, the educated, and talented who drive this nation forward. I see no compassion, no empathy, and no understanding of the struggle many Americans face when it comes to accessing the necessities required to thrive. There seems to be no regard for the basic freedoms of every American. We are headed to be like North Korea or Afghanistan.  We will soon be a nation filled with terrified, ignorant, sick, and hungry people, isolated from the rest of the world.  You and your friends will be drunk with power and money as you rule over ashes. I wonder if you will even notice.  I predict this country will be incapable of producing the talent and productivity the world once admired. Trump is already pushing the most intelligent scholars in the world to other countries with his anti-immigration policies. The brain-drain away from the United States is already happening. The masses in this country will soon be in survival mode and no innovation or real productivity comes from that. This country will soon fall far behind other nations who welcome immigrants, value their people, protect them, educate them, and empower them.

I can’t imagine that this is the future you desire for our country, but it is the future that awaits us if you do not change course by first doing your job as a co-equal branch of government and a member of Congress who took an oath to protect and defend the Constitution against all enemies, both foreign and domestic.  At this point, you aren’t even doing your duty as a Christian. Both God and history will not look kindly upon you if you fail to change course.

Sincerely,

Dr. Juanita Hall, Voting Citizen

I’ve been glad to see the Town Hall contentious interactions with Republicans lawmakers. I was also elated to see the massive street protests across the country yesterday. I hope the resistance continues to grow to the point they can no longer be ignored by MAGA and the Republicans who fear Trump. Noticeably absent from the Town Halls and the street protests are people of color, specifically black faces, and I understand why. We feel that we did our job sounding the alarm prior to election day and then we voted in mass for Harris. We are protesting on social media and with our wallets through various boycotts. We recognize that this power struggle over the direction of the country belongs to white people even though we will be disproportionately suffering from the cruel and reckless Trump policies if the indecent white folks win. Our greatest responsibility is to protect ourselves.

There are a few people I watch and listen to when it comes to my wellbeing with regards to my finances, health, political participation, and gardening. For example, after the election, I followed Warren Buffet in a move to cash, divesting enough cash from the market in late 2024 and early 2025 to last seven years. I put that money into a high yield savings account and certificates of deposit. I also reduced my monthly stock market investments by 75%, limiting my remaining investment to a single index fund. And I made a commitment to not look at the stock market. And then we looked to reduce future spending.

In anticipation of a Trump induced financial turndown with his threatened tariffs (now reality), we made household upgrades. including an expansion of our food pantry and then purchased food staples, stocked up on everyday household items and then expanded our produce garden. We purchased seeds as opposed to seedlings (a fraction of the price) and learned from YouTube videos how to grow produce from seeds. I stockpiled clothes, crafting items, birthday gifts, and Christmas gifts for 2025 and 2026, purchasing these items during black Friday and the after Christmas sales.

When it comes to protecting our health, we listened carefully to the information and experiences surrounding Medicare advantage versus Medigap plans and chose Medigap for our medical care needs. Medigap plans may be more expensive, however, they offer greater protections and access to healthcare when it is really needed. On another note, I have very little confidence in this Administration’s public health decisions, so I’m paying special attention to maintaining my health. We’ve received all the recommended vaccines and doctor’s checkups, including dental visits. Part of this added attention to our health includes avoiding big crowds and wearing a mask in public. Since the fires and living in an earthquake zone, we upgraded our emergency kit to include a solar-powered generator and additional items. Under this administration, we anticipate that less aid will be available following a disaster. At this point, I’ve decided I’m not comfortable flying. However, we did renew our passports as a precaution.

Our mental health is important to us. We decided to spend our discretionary funds investing in ourselves, our relationships, helping the needy and helping to fund the political fight to save our country and the freedoms of our children and grandchildren. Our priority is maintaining our mental and physical health and that of our family members. Beyond that, we donate to political candidates and to organizations fighting in the courts on behalf of our rights. We continue to donate to fund medical research, food charities, and scholarships because we are all in this together.

We’ve noticed that the news is always disturbing these days, so we limit ourselves to small bites of news each day and limit our discussions of Trump and his latest act of cruelty. My husband has taken to watching cartoons and crime stories while I listen to music a lot more. I’m walking and stretching and doing breathing exercises to relieve stress. These practices also improve my physical stamina and flexibility. We’re both spending more time in the backyard enjoying the flowers and the birds and doing a lot of gardening. I’m making our favorite foods. We rely on pictures and videos of our grandchildren to make us laugh and smile throughout the day. Their futures are a huge motivator for us.

In this time of national distress, we cannot do nothing. While some people are taking to the streets to protest, I prefer to make my political posts each morning to encourage others to also stay in the fight for our decency, democracy, and our rights. We are participating in the Target boycott. We haven’t shopped in Target since January 31st. We frequently engage in conversations with busy family and friends to keep them informed and I frequently write to lawmakers to share my thoughts as well. And of course, I write this blog.

Horrible things are happening every day to innocent people. The cruelty, lawlessness, lies, and incompetence makes us angry. We find ourselves in a perpetual state of distress that no one asked for (not even a lot of Trump voters). So, it is imperative that we take additional steps to care for ourselves and our loved ones. In addition, it is required of us as patriots to do our part to resist the forces that seek to undermine our freedoms, destroy the rule of law and crash our economy.

I spent most of my professional career working at a university in both administrative and teaching positions. My focused work was divided between domestic students, international students, and my colleagues whose sole purpose was to educate, enable, and empower students to discover their purpose and to use their knowledge, their voice, and their sense of justice to improve the world. Knowledge absent empathy and ethics can do a lot of damage. In my 25 years in higher education, I never once met an administrator or professor who encouraged students to destroy property or to disparage innocent people. People, like me, choose careers in higher education, not because it pays well (it doesn’t), but because we love the process of acquiring new knowledge and passing it on for the greater good. We are eager to build a better world by cultivating knowledgeable and principled leaders. We teach students to think critically about society and current world events within the context of history, moral justice and human progress.

I acknowledge that dealing with highly energetic, enthusiastic, and immature brains can sometimes be challenging. Students at this age can be bold and impulsive. They make a lot of mistakes, and in higher education we choose to use those mistakes as learning opportunities. We recognize that most students are learning about society outside their childhood community bubble for the first time. They are comparing their lived experiences to that of their classmates. They question how and why their childhood was filled with abundance or poverty, of acceptance or discrimination, or of strong religious beliefs or completely secular. The disparities they encounter can be both alarming and deeply disturbing for many students. They often come to the university assuming that everyone had similar childhood experiences and when they discover the systemic unfairness built into society, they want to rectify the situation. This is root meaning of “wokeness”. It is the awakening of awareness that our society isn’t as fair or equitable or just as it should and could be and wanting to do something to improve the systems. Diversity, equity and inclusion efforts were a direct response to the need to revise the current system. Those who participated in this societal revision effort were “woke” and they were fast and furious (and impatient) in their need to see changes immediately. I always knew there was going to be a backlash.

I understood that “wokeness” posed a threat to white male power and to the deeply entrenched system that privileges whiteness over people of color, men over women, heterosexuals over LGBTQ people, and Christianity over other religions. Power does not relinquish its position without a fight. I knew this and tried to warn my eager colleagues and the students on the front lines demanding fast and drastic changes. Even at the university, I dealt with the discomfort among some more conservative administrators and faculty, particularly white men who were feeling pushed aside, attacked, and often ignored.

As woke college graduates began taking their place in society, they began promoting changes that embraced diversity, equity and inclusion throughout society. I sensed an even greater backlash coming with the absence of an effective public relations effort to smooth the changes. I was not at all surprised when the Right orchestrated an attack on critical race theory and then DEI. They had been criminalizing black men and masculinizing black women for years. They pushed false allegations that the first black president was Muslim and not a “true American”. They gravitated to stoking fears of transgender men using women’s bathrooms. Then they accused teachers of “grooming” school children to be gay or transgender. They turned their manufactured outrage to the audacity of a black actress portraying the Little Mermaid (a fictional character). They attacked the actual history of the United States as somehow anti-patriotic and inappropriate for children.

Higher education and the “woke” mindset it produced was their enemy. The Right successfully mobilized non-college educated and religious zealots who rarely leave their segregated bubbles to attack higher education as the culprit for the new visibility and prominence of brown people and LGBTQ folks. Asking people to use new pronouns was somehow an affront to their personal freedom. They successfully stoked a fear of being “replaced” among white people in red states. This was the rich white man’s effort to destroy DEI and wokeness. In response, as college students often do, they soundly rejected speakers and comedians who openly challenged their newfound “wokeness”. Comedian Bill Mahr still has not gotten over it.

So, here we are. Trump, Musk, and the Republicans are hellbent on using their power to remove DEI and wokeness from society, so that they can re-establish wealthy white “Christian” and male dominance. Enter the war between Israel and Hamas and they found the perfect inroad to unfairly attack higher education. Students have always been at the forefront of fighting against wars, human trafficking, apartheid, and genocide. What they see happening in Gaza is no different. However, the Right was quick to label students who protest the genocide happening in Gaza as “woke” and “antisemitic”. They are lying. In fact, there are many Jewish students who participated in the protests against the “Israeli government”, not the Jewish people, over the indiscriminate bombing and starvation of the innocent people in Palestine. DEI welcomes the presence and inclusion of Jewish students. Always has. Perhaps a few Jewish students who are themselves Israeli nationalists feel intimidated or challenged by their peers on the matter of Israel and Palestine. However, these students were never physically attacked. Heated disagreements on this issue are wrongly being characterized as “antisemitism” by a few loud and powerful voices on the Right. That mischaracterization has led to the firing or resignations of several university presidents.

The attack on higher education continues with this Administration still intent on ridding universities of DEI. They have taken to withholding research funding if schools do not abandon their DEI efforts, revoke degrees and expel student protesters. They are “disappearing” and detaining international students who participated “non-violently” in the protests. Marco Rubio, the Secretary of State, just invalidated the student visas of 300 international students who participated in protests, subjecting them to deportation. The silencing of student protests, the encroachment into curriculum matters, the misrepresentation of research as frivolous, and the withholding of funding threatens the fabric of higher education. A recent poll indicates that the actions of this Administration have led to 75% of university researchers considering a move to another country. Our scientists, innovators, and professors are being recruited by other countries, and some are already packing their bags. We are literally on the verge of the greatest “brain drain” in our nation’s history.

Let’s be real, the loss of educators, innovation, and scientific research will have a great and lasting negative economic impact on this nation. Our universities will no longer be the destination of choice for brilliant scholars and students from around the world. Our own students will fall further behind as the nation becomes dumber. And it’s all because a few rich white men are afraid to compete with women, people of color, and LGBTQ folks for the opportunity to succeed in this country.

Hatred is a powerful emotion. It is the fuel required to commit the most heinous acts of violence or to cheer on those acts. Hate hijacks our normal human empathy and silences the lessons of good and evil, suspending notions of right and wrong. In a nutshell, it makes us stupid. When our heart is overtaken by hate, we become gullible and irrational believers of lies and false accusations without evidence. The overflow of a heart full of hate becomes bold hate speech, spewing all manner of abhorrent things about others. Unchecked hate takes over the body, making us behave as though we lack common decency and humanity as we destroy everything in sight whether property or human. Hate is an energy unto itself. It is a driving force, an impossible emotion to control once we allow ourselves to be consumed by it. However, as a Christian, I recognize that the God of love, who calls us to love, also harbors hatred of certain human attributes.

In the biblical text of Proverbs 6:16, there are seven human character traits that God hates. “These six things the Lord hates, yes seven are an abomination to Him. A proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil, a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren.”

There are very few people that I genuinely hate. The few that I hate all exhibit these particular characteristics, inflicting harm and chaos upon vulnerable people. I don’t believe it is a stretch to say that Donald Trump, Elon Musk, J.D. Vance, and even Speaker Mike Johnson and a host of MAGA supporters continually demonstrate these seven attributes worthy of hate. Just to make my point, I note their promotion of white male power to the discrimination and detriment of everyone else; their constant lies about everything; their withholding of lifesaving medical care and food for the poor; their gleeful plans to make people suffer to further enrich the wealthy; the illegal firing of government workers and defunding of public health research; their disregard for laws, extortion, bullying, threats to invade countries; their embrace of evil dictators who silence, imprison and murder their own citizens without due process; the false accusations against government employees, migrants, teachers, judges, and anyone else who opposes them; and of course the drumming up of culture wars to incite animosity among neighbors and family members.

This past week, a friend asked me how I felt about people destroying Tesla vehicles. I had mixed feelings. My commitment to love and my moral compass tell me that acts of violence are wrong. However, my hatred of Elon Musk made me reluctant to feel any empathy for him because of his abhorrent actions that fuel hatred, bigotry, lawlessness, discord, and misinformation while causing death, pain, and real suffering for millions of Americans and people around the world. I admit to silently cheering his loss of billions of dollars and even the vandalism of his cars. In truth, my empathy lies with the innocent people Elon is harming. Someone mentioned the innocent people working at Tesla and I can only think that if a person lies with a dog, they should expect to get fleas.

In the end, I could only say to my friend that I understood the vandalism and that I believe these acts of vandalism should be taken as warning signs of the ultimate price Elon may pay for the hate that he has ignited in so many people. Personally, I won’t buy a Tesla, and I won’t engage in acts of vandalism nor violence against him because I have enough love in my heart to counter my hatred for him. Love keeps me level-headed. The teachings of Christ to overcome evil with good, moderates my behavior. However, I think that the hatred for these men is well-deserved since God, in His abundance of love, says humans like them our deserving of hate because of their character.

I don’t think this will end well for any of them. Not that I want or am promoting negative actions. However, I sense something bad coming for them because there are a lot of armed men who feel betrayed, threatened, hurt, and angry by these arrogant men. The hate they feel will not be contained if they lack love in their hearts and have no moral compass to moderate their actions.