Fully Present Post 50

Half the nation has bought us to this terrifying moment in time. I keep saying to myself that in these troubled times that God will not be mocked and that we will reap what we sow. I recall that Proverbs 6:16-19 says, “These six things the Lord hates. Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: A proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that are swift in running to evil. A false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren.” Trump and those who support him are all these things and they will not achieve the glorious end they’ve imagined for themselves.

On one of my walks this week, an older white gentleman, whom I’ve seen numerous times out walking his three little dogs, shouted to me from across the street how disappointed he was that Kamala Harris lost. At first, I thought it was bold of him to assume I was a Harris supporter, but then anyone who followed the election results knows that 92% of black women voted for her. And we live in a pretty liberal area of California. So, perhaps he wasn’t so bold after all. As soon as I confirmed his assumption, he crossed the street, and we had a lengthy political post-mortem conversation during which I remarked that this is his fight moving forward. I told him that black folks did our job trying to convince Americans to vote for Harris and then we voted for her as evidenced by the fact that she received 92% of the black female vote and 78% of the black male vote. I told him that we aren’t really fighting among ourselves except to convince other black folks to exercise their hard fought right to vote. He shared the ongoing political struggles within his extended family and how frustrating it was. I was sympathetic but encouraged him to continue the fight because the conflict is among white people and Latino people who make up the largest portion of the electorate. The battle is white women against white women and white men against white men. The same for Latinos. I told him the heavy lifting moving forward is on people like him, not people like me. I shared that my plan was to grab my popcorn and watch the shit show commence while supporting civil liberty organizations and protecting my family from harm.

I’m reading about all the black women planning to “mind their own black business” in the coming four years. Like many others, I have “unfriended” those who voted for Trump because I can no longer associate with people who knowingly align themselves with white supremacists, racist, homophobic, xenophobic and sexist people who agree to endanger and destroy the lives of others for cheaper eggs. Their lack of empathy is not worthy of my time and energy. We are not friends, and I also refuse to knowingly patronize businesses who supported Trump. My plan moving forward is to protect my peace of mind by limiting my exposure to the news and to hateful people while also protecting my loved ones against the harmful consequences of this election.

For all those like me who plan to build an ark to weather the impending storm, these are my plans. First and foremost, I want to ensure the reproductive rights and safety of the females in my family who are of childbearing age. For us mothers, grandmothers and aunties, particularly in red states, we can ensure that we have a supply of birth control, morning after pills, abortion pills, or travel funds ready for the young women in our lives. This is about protecting the mental, physical, and financial health as well as preserving the life possibilities of the young women we love and care about. While children are a blessing, I believe the Bible teaches us that life begins when a fetus is capable of breath around 24 weeks. Before that, I believe the fetus is a human body (temple) under construction as in when God formed Adam out of the dusk of the earth. Adam became a living being when God breathed into his nostrils, the “breath of life” (Genesis 2:7).

That said, I realize that nothing will handicap a family’s upward mobility more than an unplanned pregnancy or a planned pregnancy gone terribly wrong. Access to maternal checkups and safe abortion in red states has been drastically reduced and as a result more women are dying from pregnancy and birth complications (especially black women), and more newborns are already dying shortly after birth in red states according to the CDC. Some of these affected women have other children and their care becomes the responsibility of the family or the state. We will also start to see a sharp uptick in babies being born with severe abnormalities and chronic disabilities. These too will place an added layer of mental and financial stress on families for years to come. If the Republicans are successful in banning abortion and contraception nationwide, that supply of reproductive care products will become increasingly important as will the ability to travel outside the country. For now, California is the safest state to be pregnant and give birth. In short, the time is now to stock up and become a resource to female family members.

The ability to travel may not only be needed to address reproductive health concerns. but for the safety and freedom of targeted groups. The second thing we did was renew our passports in case a quick exit becomes necessary. While highly improbable, as in the first Trump administration, white supremacists are likely to become more emboldened. I suspect it will be far worse this time. Black, brown and Asian men and women could easily become targets of Trump and the MAGA movement, not only targeted for deportation but for mass incarceration and violence. Trump is surrounding himself with the likes of Steven Miller, a white suprematists, Steve Bannon, a white nationalist, Elon Musk, a white capitalist from South Africa, and Mike Johnson, a white Christian nationalist, and many others who believe white people are the only true Americans worthy of civil rights. This country can quickly become a dangerous place for all people of color. The same is true for religious minorities and LGBTQ folks. Having an updated passport and emergency funds set aside is a prudent thing to do.

There is much more to consider when preparing to weather the storm of the next four years. I’ll conclude this post with Proverbs 22: 3: ” A prudent man foresees evil and hides himself, but the simple pass on and are punished.”

Next week I’ll reflect on maintaining mental health and boosting financial well-being in the face of turmoil and uncertainty.

I knew it could happen that Americans would re-elect Trump despite all his moral shortcomings and leadership failures. Even his fascist rhetoric didn’t dissuade enough people from casting their ballot in his favor and against her. Exit polls indicate that the majority actually voted for him because of the economy. But how exactly are his vague policy proposals good for the economy compared to her specific policies? Many said it was their fear of violent immigrants that tipped the scale in his favor when actual violence perpetrated by undocumented immigrants is rare. And some wanted to stop spending money on the war in Ukraine. Despite the actual strength of the economy, the rarity of immigrant violent crime, and the moral and strategic significance of supporting Ukraine, this election highlighted the fact that we have a gullible and uninformed electorate. And that needs to change. But this election also revealed something about the American people, particularly white people and Latinos.

Since all Americans care deeply about the economy and their personal safety, why is it that only black folks voted for Harris in overwhelming numbers? It’s not just because she is black, but because she addressed how she would help the economy, preserve reproductive health and freedom, stem gun violence, and address immigration. Despite that, more than half of white people and Latino men voted for the candidate who offered no solutions that would improve the economy, safeguard young women, or stem gun violence. They voted for the man who killed the comprehensive immigration bill so he could run on chaos at the border. They voted for the man who plans to round up and deport millions of people whom our economy relies on for their manual labor. Imagine how much food prices will rise if half the farm workers are deported because literally half are undocumented. Not to mention the price of gardening, housekeeping, and construction. And every educated person knows that tariffs raise prices for the consumer. So, with the exception of low information voters, I think something else was at play.

I think there are a lot of people in this country who simply couldn’t bring themselves to vote for a woman of color. Rather than admit to their racism and misogyny, they pointed to the high price of food and housing or their fear of “violent” immigrants. And then there are many others who are extremely uncomfortable with transgender issues and their demands for recognition and inclusion. They’d prefer to stuff these people back in the closet rather than learn to use gender neutral pronouns, build gender neutral public bathrooms, and figure out how to deal with athletic competitions moving forward. They understand nothing about how gender-affirming care is saving lives. And I hope no one actually believed that schools are performing sex change operations or that Harris promotes tax-payer funded sex change operations for prisoners!

To say I am disappointed in our nation because of the outcome of this election is an understatement. The land of the free is less free for women of childbearing age, public health and OBGYN doctors, parents of school age children, and transgender individuals. It is a more dangerous place for pregnant women, OBGYN doctors, undocumented immigrants and naturalized citizens, black males, transgender people, and anyone in public spaces. It’s certainly a more frustrating place for investigative journalists, educators, and scientists. The ability to educate the public on real issues has become close to impossible with the proliferation of corporate media more interested in garnering clicks for money than distributing the factual information that will help us make wise choices. It’s not surprising that some educators have taken to social media to provide medical information, financial tips or history and science lessons. The problem is that none of them are vetted. Helpful but inconvenient content can be minimized by the platform, and conspiracy-laced misinformation can spread without being fact-checked. Salacious lies spread much faster than boring but necessary truths.

In light of the election results, I’ve spent the last three days trying to process what just happened. I’ve posted my frustration on Facebook and Instagram, and I’ve responded to others who are terrified, angry, sad, frustrated, and hopeless. Many feel deeply betrayed while others are gloating in their victory and playing despicable pranks on blacks and female college students. There are some who just want to agree to disagree and remain friends. I’ve avoided the gloaters altogether. But I’ve responded to the deeply disappointed folks by encouraging self-care and trying to restore their fighting spirit. And I’ve also responded to the “we can still be friends” folks with a resounding response that it matters to me why you voted for him. If someone understood that their vote was going to harm others so they can purchase cheaper eggs, then we cannot be friends. In my book, friends must share fundamental values, and I value people over temporary things. I also value having a respectable and competent president who doesn’t spend his time insulting other people and threatening those who oppose him.

In my coming blogs, I plan to share my thoughts about ways to move forward. But for the next week I will continue to sit with my emotions, process them, and begin to develop a way to turn these lemons into lemonade for the people who share my love for humanity. For now, I take comfort in the scripture that says, “God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7

I can’t wait for this election to be over and for everything settle down. I know it won’t actually be over on election day because all the votes won’t be fully counted. But even if Harris wins (and I predict she will), it won’t be over because Trump has already set the stage to contest the results if he loses. He has Speaker Mike Johnson in his corner along with a bought and paid for Supreme Court. My hope is that Americans deliver the House and Senate to the democrats to effectively shut down their nefarious plan to steal the election if Trump loses.

Even if Harris wins, nearly half the country will feel like the world is coming to an end. They have been convinced that she is “stupid”, without policy plans, is a Marxist or communist, and is dangerous. They have been convinced that the country is falling apart despite all objective indicators that it is not. There is literally a fog of fear, misogyny, bigotry and blind devotion clouding their eyes and brains so that they cannot hear reason or have faith in their own five senses.

Trump supporters are incapable of trusting the economists, business leaders, constitutional law experts, psychologists, scientists, teachers, military generals and even Trump family members who are warning us of his fascism and dangerous plans that will negatively affect the economy, the environment, and vulnerable citizens. Even Elon Musk, the billionaire supporting Trump, has said that his economic plans will cause a lot of financial pain to millions of Americans at first, but that things will eventually get better. What does that mean and how much pain and for what? So, the top 1% can get another tax break and Trump can carry out his bigoted deportations? Unemployment is at a 50-year record low meaning immigrants aren’t stealing jobs but doing jobs we rely on.

Think for a moment about what it will mean to deport millions of people and all the businesses who will be hurting for employees. Think about the loss of customers for businesses and the loss of tax revenues to cities and to Social Security and Medicare that his mass deportation will cause. Think of all the heartache and pain he will inflict on people seeking a better life. His other policies are just as worrisome.

Think of how tariffs raise consumer prices. Mike Johnson has already promised to end the Affordable Care Act with no solid plan waiting to replace it. And Trump has offered no relief to working families, climate change, gun violence, or Social Security. He has offered JFK, Jr. a position in charge of our health when he has no medical or science background. He promises to give police immunity for police brutality and to weaponize the military against citizens he considers to be “the enemy from within”. He expresses his desire to take away the licenses of television networks he doesn’t like. The man who boasted about grabbing women by their genitals claims that “he will protect women, even if they don’t like it.” And just this week, he shared his desire to have Liz Cheney shot by a firing squad.

It has become crystal clear that Trump and his supporters believe that the real Americans are white Christian people who support him and that the rest of us are second class citizens residing in their country. Like he did before, he will work only on behalf of his supporters, not everyone. This is a man ruled by instinct and ego and has no regard for the rule of law nor our Constitution nor factual data. We’ve seen this firsthand, and we’ve been warned by those close to him. A future Trump Administration will be devoid of adults to stop him from following those instincts.

Should Harris win and take office, his supporters are fearful that minorities and liberals might take over and do what exactly? Trump has convinced his followers that only he can save this country from certain destruction of a country filled with black and brown people who are insane rapists and murderers. He’s claims that the entire country will become like Detroit if the Democrats win. That’s a lot to be afraid of if his claims were actually based in reality.

But the reality is very different and even though they are living it, they don’t believe it. Biden won in 2020 and what we’ve experienced is a growing economy, low unemployment, higher wages, new infrastructure projects taking place, savings and investments growing, lower crime rates, the pandemic under control, former students being freed from crippling student debt that structurally resists repayment, and a stronger NATO. Is everything perfect. Of course not! Inflation was high because of the pandemic, but it is back to normal, however that still leaves us with sticker shock. And people are still dying from Fentanyl smuggled in by American citizens, not immigrants. And we’re all upset by the wars in Gaza and Ukraine even though our soldiers aren’t actually fighting in those wars. No one likes seeing innocent people blown up and whole cities destroyed. Undocumented immigrants are still coming but the flow is less since Biden took executive action after Trump destroyed the bi-partisan immigration bill.

There are real problems that need to be dealt with so why fabricate problems? It’s a lie that children are having sex change operations at school, that Haitians are eating pets, that climate change is a hoax, that childless cat ladies are ruining the country, that doctors are killing newborns, that everyone wanted the abortion bans, and that most migrants are insane people here to rape and murder us.

If Trump wins, it will be the beginning of more than just fatigue, but the beginning of serious sorrows for many people. I told my husband yesterday that my biggest fear beyond his election was that Trump would lose the election and after unsuccessfully trying to steal it again, he would immediately announce his candidacy for 2028 to avoid prison. And worse, that we would let him do it.

I discovered I had a small talent for home design and decoration when I was a child playing with my Barbie dolls. Instead of requesting a Barbie Dreamhouse, I decided to use cardboard boxes to create my own one-story home for my Barbie. I had the best time designing the layout, putting it together, decorating each room and furnishing it. My mother recognized my interest and allowed me to decorate my own room, then the family bathroom, and then to provide input into the other rooms. After graduating with my bachelor’s degree in business, I went on to earn a two-year interior design certificate and then briefly set up an interior design studio with three other women I met in design school. I didn’t last more than a year after discovering that I loved design and working with contractors, but I disliked the arrogance, stinginess, or fickleness of the clients. I closed my interior design business after a year and decided to utilize my hidden talent at home and on behalf of family and friends for free.

And I have. I decorated each of my homes and every one of them sold in one day. I chose our current home for its perfect layout and its peaceful aura and then proceeded to gut and renovate it. A strange twist of fate allowed me to help design and fully decorate my small office building at the University and to provide design input on the layout and design elements in the new student union building. And then my daughter who trusted me with her homes, asked me to decorate her two office suites. The Woodland Hills office suite became part of the building’s rental brochure.

After living in our current home since 2013 and making several upgrades throughout the years, my husband and I decided to make a few major changes. Because of my design experience, I’ve always acted as my own general contractor, meaning I decide on the scope of the work, select products and vendors, find and hire the right tradesmen, negotiate schedules and prices and oversee the work. It’s helps that I’ve had hands on experience painting and wall papering and that I learned about materials and measuring techniques in school.

At our advanced age, deciding on the scope of the work we wanted to do proved interesting. My priorities came in this order: comfort, added real estate value, easy maintenance, beauty and price. There was a time when beauty came first followed by added real estate value and easy maintenance was last. With these revised priorities, we set a budget of $20,000 and decided on the work we wanted done.

I adore hard surface floors whether wood or natural tiles. However, hard surface floors are hard on older feet, ankles, knees, hips and backs. Our downstairs is all hard surface and I must always wear orthopedic slippers to walk around or pay a painful price. Although I dislike carpet, our stairs and entire upstairs was carpeted for comfort’s sake. This time, my husband insisted on wood floors upstairs and we argued. The compromise was wood hallways and wood in his office. New carpet was installed on the stairs (safer) and it is the same carpet as the bedrooms and my office. We upgraded the baseboards as well and I did the painting myself and my husband installed them (despite my protests because of his back problems.) Saving a mere $200 is not worth the pain he is enduring nor the additional time he is spending on the project. We replaced the upstairs guest bathroom tile with a beautiful (and expensive) porcelain tile from Spain.

In the kitchen, we opted for a beautifully veined white quartz countertop to replace the granite one. We had to purchase a new sink and opted for another stainless steel (sound padded) double sink, slightly larger than our previous sink and decided to reverse the side of our garbage disposal in the process. For fun, we selected a new faucet for its three different stream flow options. And finally, we are utilizing the empty space beneath our staircase for storage, having a decorative and useful shelving unit installed.

Taking on this renovation at this time has served as a much-needed distraction from the stress of this contentious and consequential election. We’ve already cast our ballots and continue to donate to the Harris campaign, but we are staying away from most of the media and concentrating instead of the renovation. Since we aren’t traveling as planned because of Michael’s back issues, we had adequate discretionary funds to redirect to the comfort of the homestead with an eye towards a higher resale value.

The six things I want readers to know about renovations, whether big or small, are: 1) Set your priorities; 2) Build contingency funds into your budget because unexpected expenses are a given; 3) Interview trades people and ask for references and portfolio pictures of their work; 4) Follow your gut feelings about decisions; 5) research care and maintenance details before deciding on a particular material; and 6) be patient and prepare yourself to live in a disaster zone for longer than expected.

Like many Americans, I’ve been disappointed not only by the recent decisions of our current Supreme Court, but because they are being decided by mostly conservative men who lack basic ethical standards. I was disheartened to learn this week that Trump stopped the investigation into the sexual assault allegations against Justice Brett Kavanaugh during his confirmation hearing. So, we have two justices who view women as sexual playthings, three judices who lied in their confirmation hearings about Roe v. Wade being settled law, two others who take bribes, and others who repeatedly fail to recuse themselves when they have a clear conflict of interest in a case before the court.

My disappointment became outrage this week and so I sat down to write a letter to Chief Justice Roberts to express my lack of confidence in the highest court in our country because of their blatant lack of ethics and their dangerous recent decisions. I share my angry letter with the hope that my readers will be inspired to write their own letters. While we still have a democracy, our opinions do matter, and this Court needs to hear our collective demand for change.

October 15, 2024

Dear Justice Roberts,

I’m sad to admit that I have lost all respect and confidence in the Supreme Court.  As an African American grandmother, I am aware that the court has had a history of making decisions that adhere to societal prejudices against women and people of color as opposed to the statements on equally found in our Constitution.  At least those past poor decisions were not bought and paid for by billionaires.

I no longer trust this Court’s majority members because three of them lied during their confirmation hearings regarding Roe versus Wade being settled law.  Two of them were accused of sexual misconduct.  I especially cannot trust the rulings of members who take bribes and refuse to recuse themselves when a conflict of interest is evident.  Your majority Court is unethical, immoral, out of touch, and lacks credibility.

I watched in horror when you delayed the ruling on presidential immunity, and I cried when I heard your unbelievable decision. I have always been a law-abiding citizen of this country and have expected that no person is able to break the law without being accountable.  The fact that this Court has granted a president the right to take bribes, kill his enemies, and defraud the American people without consequence under cover of the Office is impossible for me to accept.

I’m not sure where this leaves us as a nation of laws.  I’m not sure that our country is now safe from an unethical and immoral president who is determined to harm fellow citizens for his or her own benefit. 

Your decisions weaken voting rights, women’s rights, and protections of our air and water leaving my grandchildren in danger of living in uninhabitable mayhem, absent the rule of law, vulnerable to senseless maternal death, and powerless to express their will through free and fair elections.  I predict young people will eventually take matters into their own hands and will ignore your rulings and perhaps utilize the assault weapons you allow to express their displeasure more often. This is the country you and your conservative Court have handed us. Do right by us while there is time.

Sincerely,

Dr. Juanita Hall

Disappointed U.S. Citizen

After weeks of listening to candidate debates, speeches, interviews, and the pros and cons regarding ballot initiatives, this past Friday, my husband and I sat down together at our kitchen table and completed our election ballots. We signed, dated, sealed and deposited them in our local drop box at City Hall. Neither of us entirely trusts the mail these days and we wanted to avoid any possible mail delays or chaos at the polls on election day. I’m thankful to live in a state and county that provides easy access to the ballot for its citizens. Sadly, not every state values the voices of its citizens like California, and so I appreciate the legal warriors challenging new voter suppression rules and highlighting Republican plans to subvert election results. These defenders of democracy deserve our support.

Given our current situation, it is unlikely that we will have a definite winner on election day because many Democrats in particular are electing to vote by mail or drop box this year to avoid long lines and voter intimidation at the polls. I predict that Trump will try to declare victory on election night without the final voting tally and will once again seek to stop counting the ballots collected by mail and drop box. What is clear is that no matter the outcome of this election, a lot of people will be unhappy.

There are many anxious people who view this election as the most consequential election in our lifetime. I admit to being one of those people. There is so much anxiety that folks who would normally refrain from weighing into political theatre have broken their silence for this election. So many famous actors, singers, athletes, comedians and talk show hosts as well as high ranking military officers, old school Republicans, legal experts, and even psychologists have strongly endorsed Harris and warned us against voting for Trump. General Milley, who served in the Trump administration, went so far as to call Trump, “fascist to the core” and the “most dangerous person ever”.

And yet, the presidential election remains uncomfortably close. The reality is that Trump, like Hitler, offers his supporters people to blame for feelings of insecurity (that he manufactured) along with a false hope that he can fix everything by first extricating those bad people from society. Trump demonizes immigrants, democrats, journalists, judges, teachers, scientists, and transgender folks. He has openly promised to round up immigrants whom he believes shouldn’t be here regardless of legal status. He has promised to weaponize the justice department against his political enemies. He has promised police immunity against claims of brutality and the wrongful deaths of citizens. He has promised to shut down media outlets who scrutinize him because he refuses to be fact checked. And he has promised to invoke the military against protesters.

A good number of people approve of his agenda because they blindly accept false MAGA claims that kinship with Putin is to be admired, that public schools are performing sex change operations on children, that Haitians are eating pets, that migrants are stealing black jobs and buying up all the houses, that illegal immigrants are breaking into homes to rape, steal and murder residents, that doctors are killing newborn babies, that professors are indoctrinating students to hate white males, that women aren’t humble enough, that protesting against innocent deaths in Gaza is antisemitic, that tariffs punish our economic competitors, that tax cuts for the wealthy trickle down, that scientists are lying about climate change and poisoning us with vaccines to intentionally harm us, and that democrats control the weather to target Republican districts and then withhold disaster aid from them.

No matter which candidate loses this election, I predict there will be chaos in the streets because everyone truly believes that their candidate is trying to save the country. I plan to stock up on supplies to hunker down for several weeks until the immediate threats of violence have diminished. I predict there will be riots if not outright pockets of civil war. We have far too many impassioned individuals with guns in this country to consider ourselves safe after this highly consequential election. I pray that I am wrong.

If Harris wins, we will have protected our democracy from falling into a Russian style dictatorship where basic freedoms are lost, elections are truly rigged, equality in opportunity is destroyed, and the opposition is either jailed or killed. The dictatorial state will dictate science, history, news stories, pregnancy, education, sexual orientation, and judicial decisions. On the outside things will eventually seem peaceful, but it is a false peace when people are oppressed and lack information, hope, and opportunity. Innovation is stifled and poverty soon follows. This kind of dictatorship only benefits the dictator and the wealthy who remain useful and loyal to the dictator. It’s no surprise that Elon Musk has publicly embraced Trump. If Trump wins, he will be safe. If Trump loses, he will still be safe because our democracy and Constitution will remain intact.

In preparation for the outcome of this election, we have also secured new passports. Wouldn’t it be ironic if U.S. citizens became the newest migrants seeking political asylum, freedom from religious persecution, refuge from a dictator, economic opportunity, and safety in other countries around the world? Sadly, it could happen. And if it does, all those public figures who endorsed Kamala Harris may be among the first to leave. The second will be migrants either voluntarily or by force. Imagine the chaos of that mass exit on food prices and the invisible but necessary labor that will suddenly go undone. The third wave of migrants to leave the country will be people like me and my husband.

I’ve heard supporters of Trump claim that their candidate isn’t really a threat at all because he’s all talk and doesn’t plan to do any of the horrific things he says. They call people foolish for believing that Trump is a threat to democracy and implore us to believe that the true threat are the policies of Biden and Harris that are ruining the country.

The problem is that every metric of country health shows an improvement under the Biden/Harris administration. Crime is down, wages are up, inflation is coming down, the stock market is up, unemployment is down, economic growth is up, interest rates are going down, manufacturing is up, emissions are down, access to opportunities is up, illegal immigration is finally down, NATO membership is up, drug prices are down, and infrastructure improvements are up. On the downside, there are wars in Ukraine and the middle east, but our troops aren’t fighting in them. In an interconnected world, we’re actively trying to preserve democracies and save innocent lives through diplomacy rather than ignoring the fights altogether and handing Ukraine to Putin.

It’s often difficult to know who is telling the truth these days. But taking the presidential candidates at their word is probably the best we can do at this point. So, I’ve voted for the candidate who promises opportunities and says things that lift the nation and its citizens up. Others will choose the candidate who denigrates the nation and half of its people and promises nothing but retribution against his imagined enemies.

Whatever happens in the days following this important election, it is wise to be prepared for the worst and hopeful for the best.

This should be a decisive week for those undecided voters who have begun paying attention to current events. A lot has been revealed. Unfortunately, too many Americans are still too busy living their lives to devote adequate time to following the news or worse to determining what is actual versus fake news. As a retired educator, I’ve assumed responsibility for informing people in my personal interactions and on social media in service to this consequential election.

I watched the entire Vice-presidential debate. It was refreshingly polite and only useful to voters willing to engage in fact-checking afterward. The “smooth talker” award clearly goes to J.D. Vance along with the “purveyor of lies” and “blame migrants” awards. Walz gets the award for “likability”, “problem solving” and “policy messaging” despite the fact that he was clearly more nervous at first. Walz stuck to his talking points, doing a decent job relaying the democratic policies that positively impact the lives of Americans. I do wish he had challenged Vance’s continuous rewriting of numerous historical events and outright lies. A significant exception came toward the end of the debate when he challenged Vance’s ridiculous attempt to reframe the 2020 election as a peaceful transfer of power.

It would have been helpful to voters if Walz had debunked Vance’s false assertion that Trump made the Affordable Healthcare Act better when in fact he tried numerous times to destroy it without a replacement plan. Remember when John McCain cast that deciding vote to save it? I wish Walz had debunked Vance’s claim that he never called for a national abortion ban or that Harris was the border czar who invited illegal migrants into the country to steal jobs, cause a housing shortage, and commit crimes like importing deadly fentanyl and eating pets. The fact is Vance did call for that nationwide abortion ban, and that American citizens are importing fentanyl from Mexico and Haitian migrants in Springfield are not eating pets and are her legally. Unemployment is at historic lows and the housing shortage is caused by investment buying and insufficient building. It should not be lost on any viewer that J.D. Vance protested a rule violation when the commentator fact-checked that particular lie about Haitians in real time. Only a liar would do that.

Debates are about relaying information so that voters can make a decision based on legitimate information, so I never say that anyone won or lost a debate. Unfortunately, in the Trump era when MAGA candidates use a debate setting to purposefully deceive low information voters, it effectively removes the actual purpose of hosting a debate. The American voter is the loser. Fact-checking is a public service that we have been denied on the debate stage itself. Few people will take the time to check the facts later and these MAGA candidates know it and take advantage of that reality in order to secure votes through deception.

The second October surprise was the revelation that Republican lawmakers voted against funding FEMA relief efforts at the levels necessary to deal with natural disasters. And now we have Trump falsely claiming that the Biden Administration is stealing funds from FEMA to give to illegal migrants so they will vote for Democrats in the election. Not only is this a complete lie, but the fact is that he himself diverted funds from FEMA to pay for his migrant detention centers when he was president. Once again, Republicans are showing the American people that they would prefer that we fend for ourselves or depend on the charitable acts of others for our survival. Our Constitution says that the purpose of government is to provide for the common defense and to promote the general welfare. That said, it also came to light this week that Trump was prepared to deny FEMA disaster relief funds during the California wildfires until his aide convinced him that there were a sufficient number of GOP voters in Orange County California who would be hurt. He falsely accused the Biden Administration and a democratic governor of withholding disaster relief because from people in Republican areas. Again, just another example of his projection wherein every accusation turns out to be a confession. This information about California came directly from one of his former aides. I recall that there was a delay and initially heard that Trump wasn’t releasing aide because the state should have prevented the fires. Now we know the truth about how Trump wants to use our tax dollars to benefit those who support him personally and not in service to all tax-paying Americans.

And finally, 165 pages of detailed first-hand accounts and evidence that Trump criminally tried to steal the 2020 election were released by the court for everyone to read. The legal brief filed by Special Counsel Jack Smith is damning and reveals just how ruthless, callous, and unfit Trump is for office. Anyone who reads that report now knows that a vote for this man is a vote for a reprehensible human being who disrespects the rule of law, our Constitution, truth, and the American voter.

As decent human beings who care about our country, other humans, and our environment, we must not allow Trump to win this election. People’s lives and livelihoods are literally at stake. We can’t allow our friends and family members to be deceived into voting for a smooth talker who makes empty promises, insults women and veterans, unfairly blames migrants for every problem, and who continuously lies about his dastardly deeds while making horrendous false accusations that inevitably turn out to be confessions.

It is time for us to boldly share factual information with our neighbors, friends, and family members who have not been paying attention so that they understand what’s at stake in this election and so they can vote wisely.

The parting words of the man who came to measure for our new countertops on Friday were: “Good luck in November; I hope Trump wins.” Then he shut our front door. To be clear, I didn’t start the banter that ensued after he remarked that he couldn’t believe people were trying to tie Trump to Project 2025. His surprising comment was in response to a CNN report on the television about where the candidates were headed that day. His comment was unexpected and came out of nowhere.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I rarely allow suspect comments to go unchallenged. It’s the educator in me. I’m a huge fan of intellect, knowledge, and factual information and I don’t accept assertions from just anyone nor anywhere. I politely remarked that Project 2025 was written on his behalf and that members of his administration had a hand in writing it. I said that it is tied to him because his name is mentioned in the document hundreds of times. His defense of Trump made sense. He replied that just because someone gives you a present, doesn’t mean you have to accept it. I nodded that he had a point, however, we should also know that Trump hasn’t read the document, and I reminded him that members of his administration said they couldn’t even get him to read the daily national security briefings when he was president. They had to give him a short summary. So, he is publicly disavowing a document he hasn’t read because it is unpopular, yet its authors will serve in his administration should he be elected.

He then went on to say that he preferred how Trump closed the border and stopped the flow of illegal migrants. My husband stepped in, a very rare occurrence, and said he didn’t like how Trump separated babies from their parents without keeping track of their whereabouts. The man replied that Trump didn’t do that, but that people around him made a mistake. I jumped in and said that the documented purpose was to use this act of cruelty as a deterrent. He tried to defend Trump by saying that people who break the law deserve the maltreatment they receive. This man was clearly an immigrant himself, so I reminded him that presenting yourself at our border and seeking asylum is not against the law. Under the current law, we have an obligation to process asylum seekers and give them a court hearing. He responded that letting them into the country with a hearing at a later date meant risking never seeing them again. I conceded that point, but also reminded him that the problem exists because we have a broken system with a shortage of judges, causing long wait times. It was this law that prompted Trump to use cruelty to stop the flow until the courts stopped him. He praised Trump for the remain in Mexico policy that stopped the flow of asylum seekers into the country. I didn’t say it at the time, but that policy exposed migrants to attacks in Mexico while they waited for processing. And imagine how we would respond if people seeking to immigrate to Canada were told to remain in the United States until they could be processed. He expressed his fondness for Title 42 and I had to remind him that Trump was able to thwart asylum claims using Title 42 specifically because of the pandemic. He conceded his ignorance on that subject, so we didn’t even get to the bi-partisan border bill Trump prevented. I turned the subject to Trump’s character.

On this subject, he had little to say in defense of Trump because he hadn’t really heard about all the allegations except the housing discrimination case, and he wrongly believed Trump had won that case. The reality is that Trump settled the civil suit and had to agree to no longer refuse to rent his apartments based on race. I laid out a few of his sexual abuse problems. His response to the sexual assault remarks and his bragging about watching naked teenage girls at his pageants in a Larry King interview was to point out that Larry King was dead. I responded that King may be dead but tape of the interview lives on and he should watch it. He then excused Trump’s bad behaviors as being acceptable in a different era. His racism was excused on the same basis, that it was years ago, and times have changed.

And finally, we ended up with his satisfaction that there weren’t wars all over the place when Trump was in office. I reminded him that we were still in Afghanistan and that there are always conflicts going on that we don’t even hear about. He said he admired how Trump got along with Putin and North Korea as a show of keeping the peace. At this point, he was done with the counters and had prepared to leave, so I had no time to respond to how dangerous that actually was and how it simply meant that Trump would hand over Ukraine to Putin and Taiwan to China without objection.

I learned a few things about MAGA and Trump defenders from this conversation and others. First, I learned that they don’t like Project 2025 either but that they choose to believe Trump’s claim that he isn’t associated with it and won’t enforce it. In fact, it only has a 4% approval nationwide. Second, I learned that they have internalized Trump’s fearmongering rhetoric about migrants and are desperate to close the border. Third, I learned that they know he was a racist and a sexual predator and that he has poor character, but they excuse those bad behaviors as relics from his past. And finally, they want to avoid war no matter the cost to others in the world or that American isolationism is a gift to anti-democratic tyrants.

We didn’t get into the economy in this conversation, but I know many of them believe they were better off economically under Trump because of inflation and high interest rates. However, they tend to ignore the root causes of inflation and the fact that we have fared much better in our recovery from the pandemic era economic disaster than the rest of the world. They ignore the record low unemployment, the sky-high stock prices, increased consumer protections, and rising wages.

Even though I could not convince this staunch Trump supporter to change his allegiance in one conversation, I think the seeds of doubt were planted that perhaps another person will water and yet another will one day harvest. My conclusion is that it is worth having the conversation even if it may become a bit loud and heated at times. Allowing people to remain in their MAGA echo chamber doesn’t help them escape the clutches of a conman and if their numbers grow, we will not only lose this election, but our democracy along with our basic freedoms.

I raised my son at a time when it wasn’t so confusing what it meant to be a good man. I was grateful that he had two older sisters who essentially conditioned him to be respectful and considerate of their talents and desires as females. Following the advice of multiple child experts, I ensured his cognitive development, self-control, discipline, and attention to his body. He had an adequate supply of male role models, including his father and stepfather, my brothers, men at church, scout leaders, and a stream of athletic coaches. None of these men were perfect human beings, but they demonstrated a form of masculinity that was confident, caring, considerate, competent, and protective. It takes a village to raise a child and that applies to sons in particular. Today my son has a beautiful wife who is a physician and two handsome young sons. He works hard at being a nurturing father and a full partner to his wife.

In reality, considerate partnership is all women want from the men in their lives. Sadly, too many young men say they are lonely and can’t find a partner. They think women are too independent to want them or that all women think men are too toxic. The reality is that they are not being the kind of man women today are looking for. They have spent too many hours playing video games, scrolling on social media, and watching television and too little time preparing themselves socially for a productive life that will make them an attractive partner.

There is a crisis happening before our eyes when it comes to young men in the United States. The rate of male college attendance and completion has fallen significantly below that of their female counterparts. Low teacher salaries have resulted in fewer male teachers who understand male learning patterns and who can serve as good role models. Male disciplinary problems in school and lower achievement are the result. And worse, the actual levels of testosterone and libido have fallen by nearly 50% in men under age 30. The percentage of men who want to marry and have children hasn’t fallen that much, but the ability to find a partner and then to produce enough healthy sperm has fallen drastically.

Researchers have looked at a variety of reasons for this biological change and have found a connection between excessive porn viewing and low testosterone. This is why China actually banned porn. Testosterone is responsible for more than just producing healthy and adequate amounts of sperm. It is also responsible for competitiveness, muscle strength, sex drive and making new red blood cells. Thankfully, there are now effective therapies available to boost testosterone levels.

Beyond low testosterone, young men are reporting a crisis of identity. They are struggling with the loss of their traditional role in this society as leader, provider, and protector. They mistake job competition for discrimination. They aren’t being discriminated against; they just aren’t automatically entitled to the job, that raise, or that promotion ahead of women like they once were. Women have been working harder to get ahead, delaying marriage and pregnancy that once hindered their career progress.

In my youth, many of the women attending college with me were seeking a “Mrs.” degree above academic achievement. That has changed. Is it a good thing that birth control and reproductive choice liberated women to make their own money and to pursue careers outside the home? I think it is good that women are no longer expected to become a wife and mother or face the once stigmatized life of a lonely spinster who owns cats. I recall the days when my 25-year-old girlfriends were in full out panic mode if they were still single. As a solution to this male identity crisis, some men are trying to drag women back to those days. However, shaming women will solve their problem and banning birth control and abortion has its negative consequences that no one is ready to deal with.

As greater numbers of women put off family life, rejecting the traditional roles of dependent wife and mother, to take advantage of enhanced access to higher education, well-paying careers, politics, and even sports, many men have been left wondering what they are supposed to be doing. They are tuning in to alpha male pod casts in record numbers for answers. Let me just say that Andrew Tate does not offer good answers and thankfully, he was arrested for sex trafficking this past week. But we can’t ignore the distressing fact that young men are turning in increasing numbers to Trump and Vance in the hope that they will restore their place of power and authority in society.

Many men wrongly think that most women do not need nor want them. They think that if they can’t be the head of the family and the main provider, then what good are they? They want to cling to the notion of the bread winning husband who comes home from work and is greeted by a loving wife who caters to him. On social media, some men (and a few women) have taken to insisting on that traditional order of things, insisting that a real woman’s role is to obey men, do the cooking and cleaning, and mother their babies while allowing their man to provide for them. Others have given up on women, marriage and children altogether, choosing to concentrate on themselves. And many others are left wondering what to do and how to be a man that women desire.

The answer in my humble opinion is simple. Most women today want a partner (not a master) who is educated, competent, hardworking, considerate and who uses his extra muscles to help around the house and to protect, not to abuse and dominate. Some men are clearly getting it, and they post videos online of themselves cooking and nurturing their children. My son and sons-in-law don’t post videos like that, but they are those men.

I see my children are raising my grandsons to nurture their physical and mental strengths, to be athletic, to respect women, to be considerate, and to value and pursue a fulfilling education and career so that one day they will be attractive as potential partners in life.

A very kind-hearted young man I know posted the following message on Facebook: Because someone doesn’t share your opinion doesn’t mean they are lying.” My guess is that he’s taken a lot of flak from others around him for many of his opinions that seem to support a contrarian point of view. I happen to know from my own extensive back and forth messages with him that he listens to people in who spread information favorable to a certain viewpoint that includes ideas about protecting the country from dangerous immigrants who are stealing jobs and destroying the culture. Although he doesn’t seem to support Trump (he was going to vote for RFK, Jr.), at various times he defended Trump to me, and I soon discovered that he knew almost nothing about Trump’s history of racism and housing discrimination nor his criminal behaviors before, during, or after his presidency. I passed on the history to him via credible news articles, intending to inform him and laid out the criminal and civil charges he faces and the ones he lost.

I responded to his post explaining that the problem is that these days too many opinions are formulated based on lies and misinformation. His response was that he likes to engage in hearing people’s opinions to eventually get to the truth. I further explained to him that opinions cannot be lies because the very definition of an opinion is that it is a belief based on insufficient grounds to produce certainty. I used the example how a doctor gives his opinion on how to treat a patient’s disease diagnosis. However, if the diagnosis is changed, the doctor’s opinion on how to treat the ailment also changes. I explained how scientific evidence proved that the earth is not flat, rendering anyone’s current opinion that the earth is flat worthless. That person is simply uninformed, not lying.

My point is that everyone has opinions but not all opinions are worthy of consideration. When there is factual evidence available, a person’s opinion about an issue ought to be based on credible evidence to be worth considering. However, opinions based on lies can actually be dangerous. Someone’s opinion might be that certain people deserve to be killed based on false accusations. For example, there have been death threats and bomb threats in Springfield based on lies spread about Haitian immigrants eating pets.

With widespread access to social media, corporate news outlets should be doing a much better job disseminating credible information that debunks the many conspiracy theories, lies, misinformation, urban myths, and false accusations floating around. Instead, some outlets are either silent or actively spreading confusion. Opinions are being confused for facts by many people. Rumors and disparaging innuendos spread by news media figures is being defended as entertainment and free speech by corporate media who were once counted on for reliable information. We must stop giving them views until they return to the actual news.

In the end, we are all entitled to our opinions. Today, more than ever, it is important that we have access to as much information, actual facts, and evidence before forming those opinions or they will be horribly flawed. Opinions based on the lack of credible information can lead to huge mistakes. The biggest decision we are collectively facing is who will lead our nation forward. That individual decision will be based on our individual opinions of each candidate when we cast our votes. But, because the media is slow, silent or unwilling to be completely upfront, it is incumbent upon us to listen to each candidate’s words, watch their actions, and read their policies for ourselves so that we can form our opinions based on what we know for ourselves. I’d hate for millions of Americans to cast their vote based on opinions formed from a lack of information or downright lies. I’ve made it my mission to gather accurate information and to spread that knowledge to as many people as I can so that they can form reasonable opinions ahead of election day.