We live at the end of a cul-de-sac and a sizable portion of our front and back yard are hillside. I’ve prided myself on keeping it well-groomed by spending hours on that hillside planting groundcover, plants and fruit trees, weeding and trimming. But lately I’ve developed a fear of falling off the hill itself or off the ladder I use to climb over the retainer wall onto it. I muse at how I once would have jumped down from that retainer wall without giving it a second thought. But now the thought of falling, twisting an ankle, breaking a bone or hitting my head make me reluctant to go up there as often as I should. Fear is a great motivator and I find myself motivated to do or not do things more today than ever because of fear.
My greatest fear has always been of losing a loved one. As a child, I recall being terrified of losing my mother to the point of not sleeping well during the times when my parents were together. I was extremely protective of my mother because I recognized the danger she was in because of my father’s alcohol-driven violence. I never hesitated to get between them in a conflict because of my fear of losing her. Because of my youthful brain, I never considered the threat to my own personal safety. In all honesty, I know that I saved my mother’s life on several occasions.
Fear is a powerful motivator. And as I get older, I recognize that I have much more of it than I did when I was younger. Gone are my days of being a fearless and invincible youth who takes risks to protect those I love, to get what I want, and to pursue my dreams. It is not at all surprising to me that during this pandemic, young people are partying without masks and engaging in all sorts of risk-taking. They are hard-wired to believe that they’ll be okay no matter what. This is why opening a high school or college this fall and expecting students under 25 to follow safety protocols is foolish. They are fearless. Some older adults aren’t necessarily fearless, but clueless, denying the actual existence of danger. They are like Trump, engaging in wishful thinking to alleviate their fears so that they feel free to continue life as usual. I marvel at their stupidity. But they should consider that Herman Cain lost his life following Trump-like thinking by attending that ridiculous rally in Oklahoma without a mask and social distancing.
A healthy dose of fear motivates certain behaviors and prevents other behaviors. I wear a mask and keep social distancing and wash my hands and surfaces frequently out of fear of catching COVID-19. I saved for retirement at percentages greater than recommended out of fear that I wouldn’t have enough, especially since Social Security has been threatened for so long. I’ve always had insurance policies for just about everything out of fear that something would go terribly wrong and financial disaster was just waiting in the wings. Perhaps it will take the fear of a stiff fine for some stubborn Americans to start wearing a mask in public. If they aren’t wise enough to fear this disease, maybe they will fear having to pay a $500 fine.
While it feels more noble to be motivated by love, or compassion, or ambition, or desire, or even patriotism, I find that these emotions are a bit less potent in the face of fear. When someone engages in risky behaviors, we often say they were blinded by love or they had blind-ambition. It means that they lacked a healthy dose of fear to moderate their behavior. People who “throw caution to the wind” may feel free, but they may also face the sad and final consequences for their actions. And the human brain generally isn’t mature enough until around 25 years of age to moderate itself. So, some decisions must be made on their behalf to keep them safe.
This November I am more than a little fearful that Trump will be re-elected. And I can only hope and pray that a huge number of Americans everywhere, and especially in battleground states, share my fear enough to be motivated to vote against him. We should all be scared shitless of his willingness to lie, cheat, and to sow all sorts of confusion about this deadly disease and now voting. So, it’s going to take our collective fear of another 4 years of Trump and fear of this pandemic to drive the masses to make sure every state government ensures that all Americans can vote by mail in November.