My last post earned me the label of “demon” by some random woman on Facebook last week. I’m not disturbed by this but rather encouraged that my observations struck a nerve. Some nerves need to be struck, and eyes need to be challenged to see where this nation is headed if we aren’t careful. I’m just as wary of the American Taliban (Republican white “Christian” nationalist men) as I am the Taliban in Afghanistan. They are no different in their agenda for women. I addressed the harmful Republican agenda to prevent access to abortion care, end female voting rights, avoid the prosecution of wealthy sex offenders, the defense of child marriage, and an end to no-fault divorce laws. The safety, livelihoods, and rights of women are in jeopardy. This week, I’m addressing the attack on higher education for women.
Let me begin by stating that neither sex is better than the other; they are simply different. Our marriages, our families, and our society thrive when we value what each person brings to the table. Some tasks require brute strength while others require a patient detail-orientation. Mostly men possess the brute strength and mostly women possess the detail-orientation. Gender differences when respected are beautiful and my husband and I maximize them in the running of our home as equal partners.
As the sister of two older brothers, the mother of two daughters and a son, and the grandmother of four grandsons I readily acknowledge that there are general differences between boys and girls. Girls are generally able to play quietly for longer periods of time while boys generally require frequent physical bursts of activity. Girls tend to be more articulate starting at an early age. One of my grandsons is in speech therapy and according to the therapist, nine out of ten of the other clients are also boys. Girls are generally more likely to pursue activities that engage their minds and foster interpersonal relationships while boys gravitate to physical activities that engage their bodies, stimulates mechanical analysis, and ignites their competitive nature. Unfortunately, our school systems are generally run by women, and the pedagogy is most often geared toward girls who can sit quietly and engage for longer periods of time than their male counterparts. It’s no wonder that girls tend to be more successful students than boys. Because our teaching style caters to girls, boys continue to make up over 65% of students in special education programs. We need to modify our teaching to be much more responsive to the learning styles of boys.
It should not be surprising that once the doors to higher education opened to women, women ran through them. In 1995, men and women were equally likely to earn a bachelor’s degree. However, since then the gap has been growing across all ethnic groups. According to Pew Research Center, 47% of women age 25 – 34 in this nation have earned a bachelor’s degree compared to only 37% of men. In fact, I know firsthand that colleges struggle to admit enough men each year to fill their freshmen classes with a reasonable number of males. The quiet affirmative action taking place by colleges is in favor of admitting more men who are often less qualified than their female peers.
In my own family, each of the women have earned higher degrees than their husbands. But interestingly, they are not the higher wage earners. Women tend to choose careers that are more nurturing, collaborative, and service oriented, and these jobs tend to pay less. They are also more likely to choose jobs that allow for time off to address family issues. History tells us that once women entered the teaching profession, teacher salaries decreased significantly. Our society has always valued the labor of men over women, paying men more for the same work as women. Men are more likely to be promoted than women by other men in positions of power. And many bosses are more willing to invest in and mentor men whom they believe are more committed to work than to family. I once had a boss tell me that he was giving a higher raise to a male subordinate than a female subordinate with the same job responsibilities because the male had “a family to support”. At the time, it just seemed like the naturally right thing to do.
While women tend to choose careers that fulfil our need to nurture others, a few women prefer more physically challenging jobs that also pay more. It wasn’t until the 1970s after legal challenges and cultural shifts that women were finally permitted to break into physically demanding careers like the military, construction, policing, firefighting, piloting, and forestry. By the 1980s fields like law, finance, engineering, science, and technology that were previously closed off to women, not because we lacked the mental ability to do these jobs, but because universities limited our access to their programs and then later because the competitive culture in those jobs served as gatekeepers. For the past ten years, women have outnumbered men in law schools. Similarly, women make up about 55% of medical school students.
Female access to all educational fields and a commitment to full-time careers have made marriage a choice, not a necessity for many young women. Highly educated women expect more from a partner because they recognize that they can live a fulfilling life as a single person with friends and family and maybe a cat or two. Although most would prefer it, they don’t need to marry to become a mother. It is up to us to encourage our sons to become partner-oriented, not domineering.
I understand that female independence is bothersome to conservative men and women who view this change as worrisome. However, just as it was a lie that gay marriage harms heterosexual marriages, it’s also a lie that single women harm traditional families or that partnership in marriage is a desirable arrangement. I suspect uneducated women may envy women who have chosen independence over dependence. I suspect men who think they are entitled to a subservient wife resent independent women. There are a lot of social media hate comments directed at educated unmarried career women these days. I find it somewhat funny that some men threaten these women with loneliness. They wrongly assume women are desperate to get married and so they rant about their requirements for a wife, disparaging their education and independence as a liability. The problem is that these men clearly want helpless sex and kitchen slaves, not partners.
But worse than the insults are the Republican policies that are rolling back access to federally funded student loans for careers that don’t pay as much as other degrees. Without openly targeting women (that would be illegal), this Administration is targeting the degrees and certifications that women are more likely to pursue such as early childhood education, English literature, social work, cosmetology, massage therapy, arts and music. Limiting access to the federal loans to help fund these programs effectively limits access to the bulk of education programs that give women the ability to balance family and career while providing the level of independence that ensures their safety.
According to Pew Research Center, when men decide against higher education, they say it’s because they just don’t want to. However, when women decide against it, they say it’s because they can’t afford it. The Republicans are seeking to undermine the free will and independence of women by cutting off their access to voting, to abortion, to no-fault divorce, and now to their preferred educational programs. Pete Hegseth is firing female commanders and not promoting women in the military. These are direct attacks on women. Too many Republican women are likely unaware of the negative implications these policies will have for their daughters, nieces, and granddaughters moving forward.
My advice to young women is to get your education anyway. Choose a less expensive community college or state school if you have to. Seek scholarships, not loans. Educate other women about these Republican policies. And then support and vote for candidates who value the safety and equal rights of women and girls. My advice to mothers is to teach sons and daughters to honor the gender differences with mutual respect and collaboration; not domination.
I don’t care about being called a “demon”. I care about not allowing our nation to move backwards. Too many women fought long and hard to gain us the rights we now have. I’m doing my part to expose Republicans who are trying to undermine women’s freedoms and to return us to the miserable days of dependence and servitude. Let’s not go back without a fight.